Ainsworth Is Trending: EFL+ 23/24

Strolling down Charlton Lane right now, hope in my heart. Said hope being that the deluge promised by the rain radar in about ten minutes doesn't curtail proceedings.

Anyone else feeling ready?

we've made one new signing, a loanee from fellow strugglers Stoke. Being up at the top end of the FFP compliancy table doesn't win you shit. Pre-season wasn't that bad, but not much get's learned from putting 10+ goals past drunken Cornish pub sides. Still got that fragile hope that they at least aren't going to be shite season, we'll soon see though.

Getting your biggest away trip out of the way early I see

it's probably less of an arduous trip going to France

Watford
1
Queens Park Rangers
0
Dele-Bashiru (1'minutes)
1 min

that were quick

I fear this thread title has peaked early

heh! gone by teatime

ffs! make 'em walk home.

Cambridge beat Oxford 2-0, take that Sunak/Johnson/May/Cameron/Blair/etc.!

This popped up as a result of a the involvement of a couple of ECFC loanees but I was taken aback by the very specific googleproofing, is it a family thing?

Your starting lineup away at Frome Town in our final friendly today 💪#WsMAFC ⚪⚫ pic.twitter.com/aIdoAxvCLW

— Weston-super-Mare AFC (@WSM_AFCOfficial) July 29, 2023

Our policy of rarely giving out contracts longer than two years means every summer is a transitional summer. This year we lost some important players to us (youth team grads, like Josh Key to Swansea and Archie Collins to Posh, plus Jevani Brown after a saga which was foul, he was brilliant for us but overall I'm glad he's gone).

I was vaguely hoping for a noticeable strengthening of the squad after then Ethan Ampadu transfer to Leeds netted us £1.4m, but it looks like it's been put aside to fund future years of us paying more in wages than our 6.5K crowd average can sustain - the economics of football are properly insane. We seem to have picked up some promising loans, and signed a few previously unheard-of-by-me players, plus Tom Carroll who seems to be fit, for now. We are playing a very high-tempo game that I don't think our thin squad will be able to maintain for a full season. Nevertheless, a win away at Wycombe on the opening day and progress against Crawley in the LC last night, mustn't grumble.

Brought a debutant on late doors last night, it was the lad's 16th birthday - he got booked, lots of amusing jokes about unwanted birthday cards obv

looool you'll be delighted to know he has a brother called Louis who's also a footballer xxp

there's been a drawn out transfer non-saga between our lot and exeter over sam nombe, culminating (for now) in exeter's social media team absolutely dunking on both us and an exeter fan account who'd been claiming for sure he was off before the last psf. OUR NEW OWNERS AND THEIR MILLIONS WILL PREVAIL or something. actually we've now been linked with a jamaican league top-scorer, which would be a fun signing

that's if we can recover from the mortal blow of going out of the efl cup to newport. believe it or not some of our fans are already in a stage of malcontentment

James 0000
James D00D

My understanding is that we have. very clear sum in mind for Nombe and will sell the minute that sum is bid he'll be off (I'd guess that is somewhere between £800K - £1M but I've no inside info). I believe the thinking is: if we're a selling club it's better for us to miss out on a fee or two than to get the rep of a club that will sell cheap if you negotiate hard enough. The policy of stashing windfalls like the Amps money means we are rarely in a position where we *have* to sell. I think this is the right answer but do sometimes dream of an extra half mil in the playing budget.

Duke Roll - the fan account you mention - is interesting in ways I don't think I can satisfactorily explain.

rumour is we missed out on a "free" transfer because the club wasn't willing to pay the £1.5m and another 400k on agents fees that West Brom did. I thought they were supposed to be on the verge of administration ffs. I hope they boing boing their way to a points deduction.

£1.5m signing on fee I should add

Missed the emergence of the thread because I was away at the weekend.

We had Jacob Jagg3r at our place and he was ok - 20 appearances, no goals or assists, a bit lightweight - but the real name on that team sheet is Kieran Thomas who imo is a league quality right back although his game went back a bit after the end of competitive drop balls which he loved and I once saw him sprint 60 yards for.

So we started the season with 1 (one) player from last season. Saw pre-season and we looked good against West Brom although it's hard to tell as their best player went off after 10 minutes. Overall we apparently only looked less than good at one PSF, although we lost a few players to injury and have actually had to get a couple of loanees in for the first month just to create a bit of depth.

First match was a 2-2 draw at Kings Lynn which, if you'd offered me it last season I would have snapped your hand off but apparently was a bit unlucky not to take all the points. Darlo at home this weekend who got battered last week.

Hoping for the playoffs I think.

ainsworth: not dead yet

it must have been the white haku man doing the team talk yesterday

That was much more like it, I had forgotten what it was like to be entertained at a football match. (Downside, the pub was weird with nothing to complain about)

Created lots, would have been nice to have scored more and I didn't even mind the (poorly taken) penalty being saved because it was very soft. We've definitely got a few dark arts players this season, Cowley leaving one in after 4 minutes that made Darlo rearrange their whole midfield because they saw cards coming as a result, and Cranston getting away with a kick out then stamp that everyone in the stadium saw except all the officials. Pond doing the Jordan Pickford fall on the ball is going to get old pretty quickly but if he keeps on performing then I'm not sure I care.

Special shout out to the referees who, to a man, were the most inept I've seen in years. Missed fouls, deciding after the event to play advantage, dead balls given the wrong way and a whopping 12 minutes of additional time played of the 8 indicated.

I very nearly felt sorry for their physio, one of the fattest blokes I've ever seen involved with a football club (easily 26 stone) but every time he got called onto the pitch it was on the other side.

I was tickled when we had Stanley and Livingstone on the pitch together, but I suspect that was just me.

I have a Player To Watch candidate for you all this season btw, Harry Smith of Sutton United, a Giant Bastard of the finest quality. Here we see him last week at 0:45 with some Completely Unnecessary (and Obscenely Protracted) Shithousing, immediately marking him as a man of profoundly low character. Later in the game of course (at 2:15) he scores a Giant Bastard Header, leaning on his poor defender as one might upon a gatepost to survey the scenery

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nFIVMKbU4pc

Followed up this week by some heroic Ultraviolence in the first fifteen minutes. The camera unfortunately misses everything except the prelude and the aftermath, beginning at 0:06, but I almost find the jump-cut between initial grappling and opponent writhing in agony to be more evocative than had we witnessed what transpired. It's a crying shame we will now be deprived of him for three games

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6GBQ39F7IpE

Harry Smith was at ours for five minutes last season but we changed managers, he apparently couldn’t settle in the west country (can’t hold that against him) and back to Orient he went. Shame, I had high (>6ft) hopes for him.

Last season we quite often had a Harper Collins central midfield.

we've got 6'9" of player (the tallest in the UK) in striker Kyle Hudlin, he's only made one appearance from the bench from which he scored against Boro in the cup no-one cares about. Most of the comments on him so far are of the cliched "tidy feet for such a big lad" variety and it seems he doesn't have much at all in the way of effective aerial presence. Might be a good 'un though, he seems have kicked on a level since last season after an unremarkable loan spell at Wimbledon.

I'm getting reports that Ross McCormack is not making the anticipated impact some thought he might have in the 8th tier of the efl at Liversedge fc.

an avid 'Sedge fan says that McCormack was absolutely appalling at the weekend - bloated, unfit and fell over the ball a few times much to the amusement of the crowd

Tuesday march was not all that to be honest, the lack of an out and out striker through injuries just left to a total loss of shape and press, and it was an absolute mugging for us to take the points.

Fair play to Caddis though, not many managers would take a player off after 40 minutes. Blyth on Saturday will be interesting.

In other league news:

Alun Armstrong says Scunthorpe are unstoppable winners after they took Darlo apart.

Southport have sacked their manager after losing the first three.

Southport docked 10 points for not paying the taxman.

Not Southport, Southend.

EFL sack race WINNERS, such a cool functional club I AM DYING OUT HERE

(he sort of deserved it tbh)

so every day your caretaker manager wakes up, he takes his medication

spends the rest of the day waiting for a new striker

we've got a manager who was already a bit too unfiltered even before the cognitive decline. Like when a player he has targeted all summer turns us down for a fat signing on fee/better wages and a better chance of being in the top half of the table, he says quite cheerfully "I always just think ‘well, something will happen, they’ll get injured or something’".

lmao, a true poster

The late goal Charlton conceded deprived us of reaching our highest-ever position in the league.

As it stands, the last time we were second in the 3rd tier, The Winner Takes It All by Abba was number 1.

right now we're just fucked up inside!!!!!

god fuckin defend me I'm at such a loose end I've gone to the fuckin Dulwich Hamlet game

the irony being that despite my somewhat aloof attitude to it all I currently look like the most Dulwich fan who ever walked this earth

luckily decided to support Chatham and was duly rewarded with a whole bunch of goals down the end I was standing, a couple of them really pretty good

York sack Mikey Morton.

Wouldn't be surprised if Caddis doesn't see out September, the past few games have been dreadful.

just had a worse transfer window than several of our relegation rivals. So I guess the next best thing we could do is appoint a Director of Global Brand. We had our global moment 20 odd years ago when one of Htoo twins (those guerilla kids that led the Christian armed revolutionary group in Burma) was filmed wearing a HTAFC Panasonic home kit. The "global brand" has been all downhill since that moment, because funnily enough the rest of the world don't give much of a fuck about shitty little division 2/3 clubs.

Tough times at Enfield: https://fanbanter.co.uk/worrying-developments-as-8th-tier-club-issue-statement-with-fans-hoping-they-survive/

Bad business at Scunthorpe: https://unexpecteddelirium.substack.com/p/will-the-real-david-hilton-please

Puts our current injury crisis into a bit of perspective I guess. Wish we didn't have an injury crisis though. We had a player injured while on international duty this weekend. That's a first! Frankly the international duty os almost a first.

Reading have a points deduction already and apparently if their dysfunctional owners don't comply with the EFL order to deposit 125% of wages into an account they'll just keep on deducting every month. They might be working towards the earliest relegation in league history.

Warnock is going to manage what will likely his last game at Town on Wednesday against Stoke. He wouldn't comment on why he's leaving and said it would all be announced at a presser on Monday and he wasn't going to comment any further. This is the really chilling part. Nathan Jones was pictured at the game today 🥶

he's been gone too long

I've just seen the Nathan Jones pic debunked, it's an old pic of him at St Mary's. But then some spoilsport has said - old pic aside - he was actually at the game today.

phew! it's been confirmed by an itk source that it definitely isn't going to be Nathan Jones

General consensus yesterday was this Cheltenham side were as bad as any we’ve seen in League 1, probably the worst. We’ve hated playing them because for a while now they have seemed keen to make the game as sterile as possible, scuff a goal and then waste as much time as they can. Without Alfie May the scuffing a goal element seems to be out of reach.

For all that, I find myself feeling sorry for this dude. I thought about putting this on The Wisdom of Gaffers but it’s too tough a watch:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V2t0GhQmVCQ

(The only goal in their “for” column this season’s n was an og)

2 minutes from almost certain relegation to back in the survival game again courtesy of Healey nodding in a goalkeeper deflected winning goal 4 minutes into injury time. Fuck yes, moments like that is why I still bother with football.

That relegation spot would look a whole lot better with an Argyle in it.

they are only above the trapdoor because they played Rovrum on friday, they've got QPR and Leicester next so it could happen. It's unfortunate when we played the millers, and they were shit and there for the taking, that Sorbz got str8 red for a stupid moment that ended up costing us 2 priceless points.

Can mathematically still hit the playoffs but it's over. Good to still be in it with only a couple to play but I'm really not sure how I feel about this batch of players. Only three actually signed on for next season at this stage and maybe only one or two I'd say are must to be retained.

Hats off to this shithousery though

https://www.facebook.com/share/p/dQ7F3aTFgpj6wAtr/

That relegation spot would look a whole lot better with an Argyle in it.

― Tim, Monday, 8 April 2024 12:19 (four hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

I have a feeling we're both going to be more invested in Millwall-Plymouth than either Exeter-Charlton game this season

With any luck results between now and then will mean that Huddersfield and Birmingham can see out an unholy recreation of West Germany vs Austria in Gijon, sending them both down (TBF I wouldn't mind Millwall staying up but another nice local game next year would be cool).

really nice fixture, really good chummy atmosphere

Oh, away at the New Den is fun times IME.

why connor wickham will never not be a wasteman

― halber mensch halber keks (imago), Monday, 31 March 2014 19:07 (ten years ago) bookmarkflaglink

rong

Somehow the playoff dream is not over. 99.9 recurring % it is, and can be if/when Boston beat Banbury midweek, but nonetheless.

So Boston beat Banbury but - and this is the jock who watched however many 70s and 80s World Cups so understands mathematical possibilities - if both South Shields and Spenny lose (not out of the question, neither are playing sides that are pushovers but have nothing to play for), and we beat Boston by ELEVEN (11) goals then we beat them to the final place.

I wouldn't put any money on it.

I haven't even got the slimmest hope of Town staying up even though we are on the same points as we were game 43 last season. We are aren't going to win the last 3 games this time, would be surprised if we even got a win at all. probably 50 needed to stay up this time, nay chance.

Just want somebody to climb above Birmingham tbh

Coventry let us all down, they should be fined for not turning up against the bluenose bastards

This will cheer you up Calz - from the 2 minute mark, the very picture of a man racked with anger. Only five years to go!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nemC6ZOwLiM

beautiful! "the simple basics" is a classic Mooreism. I can find his pressers amusing now there is some distance from having experienced his dreadful football for far too long!

I actually thought you'd lost that game and was thinking maybe there is hope for Darren yet. need to start getting into the habit of following the L1 action a bit more closely.

With that in mind, I do give Darren Moore a little bit of slack. But in all my time he's the most uninspiring manager I think we've ever had and we've had some shockers. I can't even bring myself to watch his interviews so God knows what the so called football players think.

His game plan and tactics are nonsense, subs are strange, line ups often strange, game management is non existent. I have no real faith he's the man we need to make a serious go of it next year and to be honest after around 20 years of a ST I'm not that interested in purchasing one next year to see how he gets on.

had a look at the Vale forum, consensus on the 5 yr plan seems to be they have an awful squad, but also Moore is awful!

re:coventry
apologies calzino, we've been turning up only against big teams in recent weeks frustratingly
play off hopes all but over now, hoping for a performance Sunday at least

Simms definitely turned at our place!

*turned up*

Highgate United won 12-0 at Bewdley tonight to take the final play-off place in their league on goals scored. Miracles obviously in the air.

Brought up twenty draws in a season today. What legends

Cambridge lost today, but still could easily be safe on Tuesday, which is a relief. Looking grim for Huddersfield, losing four nil at home to a team who should be checked out as their season is over already.

they were down last week, the penalty 11 minutes into 5 mins of e/t finished them off. Turton, who was unlucky to concede the pen was crying and bawling/having a nervous breakdown in the post-match dressing room. This was his first contribution to the team after a 14 month injury nightmare and it broke him!

Insane og for Blackburn to put Sheff Wed 3-1 up, weird bobble off a backpass and the keeper just slices it backwards into his own net

Clinging to the hope that Argyle go down; seems unlikely with the matches remaining but there’s still a chance of the dream coming true.

Clinging to the hope that Argyle go down; seems unlikely with the matches remaining but there’s still a chance of the dream coming true.

probably more likely that we will drag Brum down with us, that's about the best I can hope for as a positive end to this cursed season.

neither of us will win our last game so it's shit or bust for them on saturday

Gateshead have been kicked out of the conference playoffs because the council won't give them a long enough lease on the ground.

Yes, but when was the last time you were at a football match where a former Deputy Chief Medical Officer turned up dressed as a nun?

And yes, it WAS Jonathan Van Tam dressed as a nun.... https://t.co/8ebASLxcyE pic.twitter.com/oK2NxHYOAp

— Oliver Atkin (@oaphotography1) April 20, 2024

Haha wtf?

Legend Variant

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mTUhnIY3oRM

will be happy to get gubbed by Ipswich last game of the season if it is necessary, but I think they've sufficiently fucked auto now!

Cambridge stay up easily, even getting ahead of Shrewsbury, despite playing out a boring 0-0 against already-relegated Port Vale.
Burton Albion lost 3-0 to also-relegated Fleetwood, very lucky that Cheltenham couldn't get a winner against Stevenage.
Bit of a let-down of a final day after the excitement last season.

Commiserations on the relegation Calz. My main take-away from today is: you can never rely on Hull bloody City. Need them to beat a moribund Swansea side to keep you in the league? Forget it. Need them to draw with an Argyle team in disarray in order to send them down and addd significantly to the gaiety of all sensible people watching - when Hull themselves need a win to have a chance of a play-off place? No chance.

Just one goal from Hull today and Plymouth would have been in the hilarious position of not having been in the relegation places all season until the very last game. That would have been so sweet.

I'm cool with it and was resigned to relegation weeks ago, after the 9th minute pen 5 minutes into e/t against Bristol City - that was final confirmation that all the classic relegation season boxes had been ticked multiple times: unusually shite luck with bad refs, unending injury problems, shite managers, too many shite players with terrible attitudes etc... Our current manager has said he has not seen such an unprofessional and rotten clique as the one in our club at the moment in his 30 year career in Germany. He even suggests there are multiple cliques and the players he left out today are obv the rotters. Any clubs wanting to take our best players off our hands, barring Helik and Nichols - you can fucking have 'em!

So Boston go up which is probably fair as they might have been the best footballing side I saw all season.

Scunthorpe are utterly fucked by their failure, lots of rumours of their imminent demise, they've already sacked the manager and the retained list is, I think, 2.

City had left themselves too much to do and it looks like a decent season for them from my Hull people vox pop but sad that West Brim get a bite, obv

Lovely to see the Brummie Bashers go down tho

our one accomplishment this season was doing our bit to drag brum down with us last week!

not that just not getting beat by a garbage team at home took a herculean effort by our bunch of wasters, but still we did enough to doom them to relegation.

If anything it seems to have strengthened their belief that the footballing world will be crushed under the jackboot of the Knighthead Birmingham Sports Quarter automaton

I don't really know what to make of it tbh

probably relishing the chance to bring the Bristol Street Motors Trophy home

They really, really are

there might have been a time when being MASSIVE + owned by billionaires would have some pundits suggesting Brum's stay in L1 will not be long. But now 2 of the shitest, worst run clubs in the Champo (now of L1) are both owned by US billionaires and I wouldn't tip either of them to be top 6 next season.

Apparently SE London needed another League club

(I guess SW London lost one. SE win! Nyerrr)