soccerball radge repository

keep it here in future

today I am mostly radge about manchester city, manchester city chief executive garry cook, and spanish-speaking commentators covering games involving manchester city

fuck them all, vigorously

seeing yr 'max' post amid the citeh talk i kinda imagined some americans wd be wtf about yr thoughts on maynor figueroa but i couldn't have hoped for such lulz

a+!

xpost. Spanish speaking commentators are enthusiastic about all goals.

this was perhaps your unconscious tribute to garry cook's 'today we welcome uwe rosler to the manchester united hall of fame'

thing is jim, these people were clearly argentine, and sang a fucking SONG mid-cry-of-GOOOOAAAALLLLL about how good Carlos Tevez was, when the goal itself was literally the scrappiest and worst goal MCFC have scored all season

there's enthusiasm about goals, and then there's ridiculous jingoistic nonsense - do that if he runs past the whole team and scores sure but come the fuck on, this was high bathos

also I gotta say when I realised what I'd done on the max thread it was a combination of lolz and weeping the like of which I'm rarely driven to

garry and i are clearly kindred spirits, also my conduct was basically this part 2:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZAc8JooS3MY

at least you didn't do a 2007 and make it worse by explaining/lawyering the thread : )

ljoyd samuel xp

i've learnt the awesome power of que sera sera

oh lol, i haven't seen that yet

also whenever I feel cheated by MCFC's elevated wealth/league position, I watch that video and all is well, or at least better

THREAD OF ONGOING HATRED FOR MANCHESTER CITY

it's those commentators who sing the song every time tevez scores again

fuck

when's I love football opening up

i like them

city get 4th, sign torres from a thoroughly fucked liverpool, win EC hopefully

garry cook will hopefully be unpopular dromedary food by then

city get 4th, sign torres from a thoroughly fucked liverpool, win EC hopefully

ok this would actually make me laugh

the bitter laughter of a man who has seen his gods engaged in altartop sodomy

please no hamit + halil slash

the randomness of the enterprise is appealing

abramovich had the look of a lowrent charlie kane asssembling his fancy trainset dreamed of in siberian orphanhood, this is just a sovereign wealth fund with fuck all better to do during a prolonged recession

like £16 for kolo toure? the same for nigel de jong six months before he'd be on a free? fuck it, it's all s&g before they evaporate after a few years and set up guangzhou's first nfl franchise instead

i guess the 'profile' of a football club changes over time - arsenal from 1-0 scrappers to glorious keepball ballet-dancers being perhaps the most extreme of recent years - but one immutable factotum of british soccer lore is that manchester city will bring ceaseless lolz - and while this is a random enterprise (not as random or gloriously doomed as notts county), it completely smudges a much-loved paradigm. this is, of course, provided that the whole boiling doesn't have one phenomenal twist and manchester city will collapse in a fit of national mirth - somehow the owners seem too sensible and muscular for this to happen - there's something creepy and relentless about a club once renowned for its self-deprecating fans and occasional moment of shaun-goater-flavoured nose-tweaking

and ordinarily those transfers would be lolz but man city have kinda spun them to be statements of clout - fuck it if we overspend - we'll overspend more - and you can't match us

this is football's embodiment of 'quirky' northern sentimentality getting taken over by cunts who spend the rest of the time doing pcp and squishing pakistani domestics into sanddunes with cayenne turbos, fo sho it's lulz though of a far more acidic variety than football usually provides

yeah i mean there's something corny and fake about a purely self-deprecating twee 'mystique' as often perpetuated by certain english league club supporters, because there's always a thinly-veiled edge of malice which can be exposed by the merest whiff of negative circumstance - but this mystique is infinitely preferable to an air of smug entitlement, which is what i can see developing among the city fans - with great power comes great loss of perspective

albeit that yes, there's something nastily gleeful about the speed with which city have hoovered up the nation's affection for them and spat it back in the form of tiresomely effective football and marquee signings

i mean sure it's twee and reactionary of me to even hark back to a traduced MCFC id but their current gradient is geared entirely in accordance with an ontology of destroyed goodwill - i find it impossible to think of the club any other way

ah come on, city acting exactly how they do on fm is nothing but hilarious. (i.e. 'hey city, want our shitty player for some obscene price?' 'yeah! look how rich we are but oh shit what wait how do one run a football team and do we have enough to make a convincing prototype wig for joleon that wont fall off while playing?')

dude, they are going to buy-all and error until they have a world-beating squad and that is fearful truth

they're already 5/1 to win the league next season to lpool's 9/1

a hoy hoy, you are possibly evincing shook-ness? the day man city finish above arsenal = the day all you hold sacred is found to be sheafs of brome

therein lieth grim comedy, i suppose

how many of these could a cl qualified citeh potentially get this summer (x good chance y slim, imho)

1. Lionel Messi (Argentine, FC Barcelone) : 473 points
2. Cristiano Ronaldo (Portugal, Manchester United puis Real Madrid) : 233 pts
3. Xavi (Espagne, FC Barcelone) : 170 pts
4. Andrès Iniesta (Espagnol, FC Barcelone) : 149 pts
y5. Samuel Eto'o (Cameroun, FC Barcelone puis Inter Milan) : 75 pts
y6. Kaka (Brésil, Milan AC puis Real Madrid) : 58 pts
7. Zlatan Ibrahimovic (Suède, Inter Milan puis FC Barcelone) : 50 pts
8. Wayne Rooney (Angleterre, Manchester United): 35 pts
9. Didier Drogba (Côte d'Ivoire, Chelsea): 33 pts
x10. Steven Gerrard (Angleterre, Liverpool) : 32 pts
x11. Fernando Torres (Espagne, Liverpool): 22 pts
12. Cesc Fabregas (Espagne, Arsenal) : 13 pts
x13. Edin Dzeko (Bosnie, Wolfsburg) : 12 pts
14. Ryan Giggs (Pays de Galles, Manchester United) : 11 pts
x15. Thierry Henry (France, FC Barcelone) : 9 pts
x16. Luis Fabiano (Brésil, FC Séville), Nemanja Vidic (Serbie, Manchester United), Iker Casillas (Espagne, Real Madrid): 8 pts
x19. Diego Forlan (Uruguay, Atletico Madrid) : 7 pts
x20. Yoann Gourcuff (France, Bordeaux) : 6 pts
y21. Andreï Archavine (Russie, Arsenal), Julio Cesar (Brésil, Inter Milan), Frank Lampard (Angleterre, Chelsea) : 5 pts
y24. Maicon (Brésil, Inter Milan) : 4 pts
x25. Diego (Brésil, Werder Brême puis Juventus Turin) : 3 pts
y26. David Villa (Espagne, Valence), John Terry (Angleterre, Chelsea) : 2 pts
y28. Franck Ribéry (France, Bayern Munich), Yaya Touré (Côte d'Ivoire, FC Barcelone) : 1 pt
30. Karim Benzema (France, Lyon puis Real Madrid): 0 pt

this sort of fm wish fulfillment ish isn't usually my thing but w/e finding the limit case of human venality is always a laugh

until torres, 'pt' = 'million pounds'

no wait, rooney's case is a huge anomaly there

ok lol at that. hi dere i am edin dzeko and i'm going to turn down ac milan for being bezzy mates with garry cook.

in all honesty, the only player on the list i can see going to city is Diego, and that's only because he's been a failure at Juve.

the same for nigel de jong six months before he'd be on a free?

I think this is an oft-repeated falsehood and that he actually signed a new deal the previous December? That may itself be an oft-repeated falsehood though.

ac milan isn't the hottest of tickets atm, fwiw

a hoy hoy, you are possibly evincing shook-ness? the day man city finish above arsenal = the day all you hold sacred is found to be sheafs of brome

― acoleuthic, Saturday, 3 April 2010 22:05 (16 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

i am no longer 8 and can deal with teams that spend a lot doing well. (also grew up on Wenger seemingly spending shit loads compared to most others, bergkamp 7.5m a big thing etc.).

ac milan isn't the hottest of tickets atm, fwiw

― acoleuthic, Saturday, 3 April 2010 22:23 (25 seconds ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

Still within a chance of winning the league, playing with dinho, nesta, seedorf, thiago silva, pirlo = not a hot ticket to most?

tbh i still don't know what radge means. rad + rage = ?

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Radge

that nigel de jong contract story is true afaik, was in the proper papers at the time

bergkamp was signed by rioch

i know, which makes even more of a back in the day spending ridic amounts ting

playing with dinho, nesta, seedorf, thiago silva, pirlo

a line about 'the twilight of his autumn' springs to mind

they at least had the discourtesy via a late superpippo equaliser to trigger pompey's fall - i said at the time that it felt like some kind of symbolic icarusification

ok so what about dinho & pirlo (both still only 30), pato, thiago silva, borriello, flam finally finding form, di gennaro etc.

hi dere i am edin dzeko and i'm going to turn down ac milan for being bezzy mates with garry cook

this is where yr a little naive imho, dzeko didn't sign for milan last summer cuz they wouldn't cough up 40m and got kjh for half that instead

and again with no sign of berlusconi allowing further losses they simply can't afford him, city probably don't want him but if they did, np

boriello is a charcutier's dream - he is the closest thing to a giant mobile salami the world of football has seen

pato is an australian messageboard troll disguised as a fancy-dan brazilian wonderkid who disappears for weekdays at a time

dinho has the body of hugh hefner sans vicodin

pirlo has always played like age is an irrelevance, and is probably the perfect ac milan player, at least of the current set

flam is merely highbury propagation - arsenal propaganda in italy

the others are boring and/or ancient

im just gonna shut up

pirlo isn't that old

30

this has been literally the worst weekend of football results in the history of football results

just to make sure, the british government bombs the shit out of gillingham - but the signal can still be heard, under the crater-ravaged mounds of earth that everybody could remember being there as long as they'd lived

it is determined by a group of eccentric dissidents that they'll send an exploratory expedition into the heart of the hill

under cover of smog they arrive, and begin tunnelling

among their number is andy hessenthaler, now sporting a full beard and a topaz medallion

they continue, below the mulch, the blasted topsoil, the slain moles in their shock-shattered burrows

then, without warning, they burst through the soil into an empty space. as one, they tumble down into the inky darkness and acknowledge that their cruel demise awaits them

their final despairing howl is interrupted, however, by a large net, into which they crumple, dazed yet relieved

a dim light flickers on

it is a floodlight, except only about a third of the bulbs are working

they glance around

they are cooped above a tattered field of earth, with rudimentary boundaries scratched into the surface, and dilapidated rows of seating scattered grimly about

a fractured memory shivers within andy hessenthaler's throbbing consciousness

a smile breaks upon his face

then a grin

then a maniacal laugh

he is home

yet, something stirs in the shadows

a hooded figure prowls about the field's edge

it bears a cross and a thickly-bound book

the explorers notice other figures stirring

they are all hooded, and all bear the same items

they begin to advance from all directions, towards the explorers, still caught within the net

they are chanting something

they are chanting 'come on you gills'

it is a horrifying cacophony, and it freezes the explorers' marrow

a sudden moment of icy recollection startles andy hessenthaler into shrieking aloud

he remembers now

oh yes, he remembers

as the first set of teeth sink into his flesh, as the first holy-water-dispenser brains one of his colleagues, he closes his eyes, and sobs a single word

'priestfield'

bring on the americans reading this thread

*applause*

itt tl;dr

bring on the ilx concacaf thread breaking 200 posts

― forgive me fada (acoleuthic), Sunday, April 11, 2010 2:11 PM (3 months ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

lol

hahahaha last night I seriously considered bumping this thread with "bring on SPAIN! SPAIN! SPAIN! SPAIN! SPAIN!"

fucking bump

soccerball radge repository

http://www.artchive.com/artchive/b/brown/brown_last_of_england.jpg

is that div in the crowd really going to watch the entire match through the cardboard eyes of his cut out jose mask with his dirty hot chelsea breath coming back at him

― r|t|c, Sunday, 18 August 2013 15:15 (15 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

magnificent radge

radge

colossal radge

who wants to be killed on the internet

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OzAxEIcFHRE

this is still the worst shit

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

done

bring on mandatory managerial sackings after every defeat

there is a god, and he's a cunt

the jackboot had to fall, huh

worst bit is, my girlfriend has chosen highgate of all places for a valentine's day stroll. i will want it to be a massacre instead. this tube train feels like it is about to fill with fuckers

like, there'll be an open-top bus parade or something, surrounded by the insecure entitled pompous cunt shitheads who support that stain of a side, turning north london from a mysterious and occultish zone of deep history into a garbage tip since 1913. if they'd stayed in woolwich i'd probably have supported them. no great solace rly tho. i hope they have a monumental injury crisis and finish 3rd