Eamon Dunphy
On Luis Garcia:
"They ( Liverpool ) should put Garcia where he belongs - in the dustbin."
On Djibril Cisse:
"here we have Cisse, right wing, attempts to put in a cross, BANG...hits the full back, again BANG hits the full back, BANG...off the full back again, and once more, BANG...smacks the full back again.... Millions of euro and he can't clear the first man, I mean...what's he trying to do to the full back here, Kill him??"
On Harry Kewell:
"Kewell should have been yanked off the pitch at half
time and put in a hot bath, a boiling hot bath."
"Fat and a clown. A fat clown for all to see."
On Rio Ferdinand:
"Ferdinand is a clown. He was a liability for the
first goal and he is always a liability. It was Jan Vennegoor of
Hesselink against Rio Ferdinand of Barclays Bank."
"a tramp"
On Fabio Cannavarro:
"If Rio Ferdinand is worth £100,000 a week, then
this guy is worth €100 million . . . . . a day"
On Liam Brady (After Ireland lost a two goal lead against Holland in 1983):
"He is often looked on as a great player. He is nothing of the kind. His performance on Wednesday was a disgrace, a monument to conceit adorned with vanity and self-indulgence, rendered all the more objectional by the swagger of his gait. He was deemed by many observers to have had a splendid game."
On Niall Quinn:
"I'm not gonna address the Niall Quinn agenda, Niall
Quinn is a creep"
"The man's an idiot, a Mother Theresa"
On Barcelona :
"After watching Watford against Manchester City last night
that was like a bubblebath. It was beautiful."
On Garth Crooks and Sven Goran Eriksson:
"ha, ha, ha, that's the first time you'll see s * x between 2 men live on the BBC"
During the coverage of Euro 2004:
"You need dictatorships and poverty to produce great footballers."
On Christiano Ronaldo:
the way Ronaldo "clicks his heels", is the "most wicked thing in the game." "a simple cheat" "Poof ball"
On Mick McCarthy:
"He's one of the biggest whingers in world football... he's a bloody eejit."
On Kevin Kilbane:
"Kilbane's head is better than his feet. If only he had three heads, one on the end of each leg."
On John Giles:
"Usually it takes a bottle of Bacardi and a gallon of Coke to get John out of his seat."
On Michael Carrick:
"Carrick was signed for Spurs a few years back for £3m. That's the level he is at. He is a nothing player. He is one-paced. He doesn't have the personality to always get on the ball like a United player should. "
Before the Liverpool .v. Real Betis game at Anfield when Roy Keane announced his retirement from football Bill O'Herlihy stated that in the column about Roy a journalist called him a thug. Dunphy continued roaring at Bill asking him who's column it was. Bill replied it was on the back page of the Sunday Times. "Look at it" he told Eamon. Eamon still pestered him asking who wrote it. Bill replied "I can't remember his name". Eamon continued saying:
"I'll tell you who wrote it, Rod Liddle, he's the guy who ran away and left his wife for a young one".
On about the Fergie V Strachen feud:
Eamon: "Scots they're either nice or they're horrid and these two are horrid.
Bill: "The Scots wont like that Eamon, thats bordering on racism".
Eamon: "Its not racism its ethnic criticism Bill".
On the stubborn climate which exists in the board room at Real Madrid:
"Bill, Bill... those directors over there are on another planet. They're on mushrooms or something...THEY'RE ON ACID BILL!!!"
On John Hartson:
'Bill, Hartson is not a 7million pound player....its a disgrace, a shambles! This is the state of football today Bill. I have a clip here of why Hartson is NOT a £7million player....Roll it there Bill! (literally 1 second in to the clip) OKAY, HOLD IT THERE BILL!!! (draws a circle around Hartson's arse) Bill, that is NOT the arse of a £7million player!''
― i dont love everything, i love football (darraghmac), Tuesday, 28 September 2010 09:41 (fourteen years ago)
Metaphor king, chicken counter extraordinaire, and master of many languages. George Hamilton and your guff, we simply stand back and admire.
“Real Madrid are like a rabbit in the glare of the headlights in the face of Manchester United’s attacks. But this rabbit comes with a suit of armour in the shape of two precious away goals.”
Simply the greatest sentence ever uttered.
“And Hyypia rises like a giraffe to head the ball clear.”
George alludes to the giant African mammal renowned for its mighty leaps.
“Russia have beaten Ireland 4-2, Albania 4-1 and now Switzerland 4-1 at home. It would be a wise man who bet against them beating Georgia.”
Bet George is a popular man down his local bookies.
“Let’s hope that’s a surgical staple gun.”
George fears for wounded Dunner with FAI track record:
”What a goal. What a goal! Straight through the legs of Adams, it flew towards the roof of the net like a Wurlitzer!”
Hope that didn’t go straight down the keeper’s throat.
”The midfield are like a chef………..trying to prise open a stubborn oyster to get at the fleshy meat inside.”
Reckon Keano would have got the hammer out.
“The orange tide is lapping against the green door which refuses to open.”
George is all at sea with this maritime metaphor.
“Glum Oranges. In fact I think the fruit their feelings are more akin to is a lemon.”
The coup de grace from Ireland’s defeat of Holland.
“We could let them score one now and they wouldn’t have time to score another.”
George perhaps reveals why he choose commentary above coaching as he comes up with a novel way of running down the clock.
”Kevin Moran…..oldest man on the pitch today…35 years of age…..of course the referee could possibly be older than that ……and technically he’s on the pitch too…..then again his linesmen could be even older than him… but are they technically ‘on’ the pitch.”
George digs and digs ’til daylight is but a distant memory.
”That should be NO problem for the defence – OH NOOOO!!”
A familiar refrain.
“Poland have to score twice now to draw and they will not do so.”
The Poles duly knock one in. Minutes later…..
“I might be tempting fate but I can’t see the Poles Scoring…OH NOOOO they just have!!”
By DangerHere’s calculations, George is directly responsible for 87% of the goals Ireland have conceded during his reign in the gantry.
George: “Roy Carsley has it”
Jim: “Lee Carsley, George”
George: “Ah yes, perhaps it’s because his head reminds me of Ray Wilkins”
“Italy are preparing to make a substitution – and it is, the unmistakable figure…………of Roberto Baggio”
George announces the arrival on the pitch of….. Gianluca Vialli. Unfortunately, the two subs had got their shirts mixed up.
“And Ireland have got to contain the brothers Baggio.”
George surely was the only one not to know.
”The Baggio brothers, of course, are not related.”
But at least he cleared it up. Or did he?
”The seeds of doubt that were sown at the weekend against Egypt have been doused by a dose of Jack Charlton’s almighty weedkiller.”
George goes green in Italia 90
“If that’s not offside, I’m a Chinaman!”
George reveals his oriental background after a perfectly correct refereeing decision.
“You sir, are an idiot!”
George politely rebukes Lilian Laslandes after a red card offence.
“He’s pulling him off. The Spanish manager is pulling his Captain off!”
Our George thinks THE George as Butragueno is replaced.
”Red Sky at night, good day tomorrow.”
George reckons that the popular proverb needs a little simplification
”Bless my soul, he’s missed it!”
George is disappointed in Simone Inzaghi’s penalty taking skills.
“Two nil and the ability to score goals in seventeen consecutive matches, getting the ball in the net, it, the shape of what we’re to expect, even if Iran are good, has to be positive.”
George in succinct stylist mode
“And we’re now watching a traditional Korean Drum Dance, performed by the appropriately named Kim Yung BONG”
George finds something of interest during the World Cup draw preliminaries.
“The ESB-sponsored Georgian special Olympics team will be in Dublin this year and maybe they will reflect on the night Ireland came to Tbilisi and provided more than power.”
Pure George
“We’re into the second moment of stoppage time of which there isn’t one.”
George breaks new ground to become the first commentator to enter a time vacuum
“The flags are waving, and no doubt at the foot of the Alps, the cow bells are chiming too. And it’s going to take a lot for Ireland to turn it round and sour the chocolate.”
The moment Ireland knew the World Cup game was up.
“…the industrious Czech, to the German Hamann, to Murphy, the quintessential Englishman.”
I’m sure even Danny Murphy would doff his top hat to that one.
“They’ve really eked this one out. Like coal miners mining their seam until they finally reach the surface with their precious black gold.”
Another George classic at the end of Arsenal – Kiev.
― i dont love everything, i love football (darraghmac), Tuesday, 28 September 2010 09:44 (fourteen years ago)
two years pass...