gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah mind explodes: rolling transfer rumours

shawcross to juve for 20m y'all
20m
shawcross
old lady
y'all
long needed replacement for cannavaro
y'all

use yr mod powers to remove the first word of this thread-title or I will not be amused

good rumour tho, let's follow it up with some 'alex oxlade-chamberlain to west ham' shit just to rile swygart

Kenny Miller to AC Milan to replace Pippo Inzaghi's a good one as well. Presume the whole of Italy has just had some kind of insane collective breakdown (apparently Juve are after Scott Brown as well).

beckham to spurs. perfect replacement if arry sells bentley

jenas to inter, forever

Is anyone coming in for Sturridge?

Chelsea IIRC.

sonotgoingtohappen.jpg

sturridge at chelsea wd be AMAZING

West Ham and Bolton are both in the frame to land Real Madrid's out-of-favour midfielder Sergio Canales.
Full story: talkSPORT

1. surprised talksport knows who he is.
2. gtfo, west ham?

also daily mail says

Arsenal are closing in on a deal for Dinamo Zagreb’s teenage defender Sime Vrsaljko.

The Croatian club’s vice president Zdravko Mamic claimed last month they had rejected a £17m offer from Arsenal for Vrsaljko and his younger club mate Mateo Kovacic.

because really when writing arsenal transfer rumours naturally you go 17m for an 18 year old right back

Andy Carroll linked with Chelsea move

cant rly see either tbh

Hodgson chases Young, Fanni

Liverpool manager Roy Hodgson is set to raid Aston Villa for England winger Ashley Young in a deal worth £15m.
The Reds are also pursuing a cut-price £3m deal for Rennes and France right-back Rod Fanni, which could lead to a Tottenham bid for Glen Johnson.

hooray! Is law that anyone trying to sign Fani also has, or is trying to get, other players whose name works in a terrible pun (see Celtic's potential backline of Naylor Balde Fani - or even better with a slight mispronunciation: Naylor Balde Fani O'Dea) a few years ago).

young brown fish costa fortune wins that contention by a fucking street

Not rude enough, soz. Weir Tebily Scheidt, etc.

keane to west ham picking up steam

rip prince of tallaght

intoyer caree-yer flooshed dowen the tallagh, wha

http://imgur.com/TTlsR.jpg

The agent of Fulham forward Clint Dempsey has denied rumours that Liverpool and Wolfsburg are interested in the player.

how would he know?

was only thinking yesterday that clint at liverpool would make a lot of sense

clint's been growing a beard too I see

keane to west ham picking up steam

― chortlin acoleuthic (darraghmac), Friday, 10 December 2010 00:04 (21 minutes ago)

which one amirite

no u don't understand, steam is the name of his new dog

fuck you

waay out of line

not cool

funnily enough yr DN describes exactly what I am doing right now

rip big man, not even cold in the grave and it's all a laugh to some people ;_;

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_x9WILXcdT_o/TIn75ly3dpI/AAAAAAAABng/bO1qSYIUThU/s1600/t5.jpg

wait is that a shop?

jesus, that's really well done!

http://suggestoftheday.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/06/roy-keane1.gif

karma for telling all those blind people to go to specsavers

http://i.imgur.com/CYHK4.jpg

shortly after 'letting off steam'

he should splash out on a puppy.

i dunno triggs still looks kind of tense

always figured keane for the mane type that wouldn't even give ya a reacharound alright

Pardew could end Keane's Spurs nightmare by bringing him to Newcastle

5m bidding war, sweet

£282,000 (plus wages) per appearance for Spurs. Well done 'arry.

no doubt, even at the time it was a nonsense move

Bet even his agent was cartwheeling.

we got better value out of the agent

Keane to Newcastle has a ring of possibility to it. Harry/Levy should be uber-cheeky and offer Keane, Bentley and Jenas to Newcastle in exchange for Carroll plus a bit of money.

Actually Jenas wouldn't go back. Stick Bassong or someone in there.

bassong worth quite a bit of cash, just in poor form. Young cb, good raw talent.

Roma are interested in securing the services of Arsenal's Emmanuel Eboue in January and are willing to spend as much as £5 million, according to reports.

5m seems a decent amount for one of the 15m best right backs in the world, who has played regular CL football incl. iirc in a final.

15m

i'm one of the 15m best right backs in the world. alan hutton not so much.

eboue plays more bad games than good. 5m would be good money to get for him.

Again- dirk kuyt has played in a world cup final. Whether eboue has played in a team good enough to get regular cl football is no indicator

No but they do have a few million on not being distracted or overworked when playing the likes of ac

38.5mil bid for aguero, 30mil bid for rossi both rejected?

chelsea looking incredibly desperate atm, no wonder clubs are all just going "no 5m more". guess its only gonna get worse as they carry on not trusting they yuts

£40m plus Anelka has to be made up, that would be an insanely good deal for Liverpool. But so much of Chelsea's attacking movement goes through Anelka I'm not sure I can really see Chelsea letting him go.

That photo of Nando makes me feel sad.

http://i.imgur.com/tmIiF.jpg

chelsea looking incredibly desperate atm, no wonder clubs are all just going "no 5m more". guess its only gonna get worse as they carry on not trusting they yuts

should take a leaf out of arsenal's book....

anelka and suarez up front with 40m to spend on two or three top players in the summer, plus whatever the existing budget would have been. seems a good outcome.

yeah this would be a good deal imo

prob not gonna happen tho?

yeah prob not. 50m would be pretty great too. but even if it's 40m i guess generally i feel like the handwringing worry about torres leaving hanging over the club like a black cloud has never been good, and might be a welcome departure. just hate the thought of him celebrating a goal with john terry or frank lampard. god...vomit inducing.

Hold on, it was Spurs bid £38m for Aguero?!

'arry needs to get on the blower pronto:

"I never made a bid for Andy Carroll. Maybe the chairman did but I never did. Nobody has told me we've made a bid."

"Fernando Llorente? No chance. I'm not going back to Spain any more. Definitely not," said Redknapp, referring to his mugging before watching last week's Madrid derby.

We are struggling at the moment because we are down to two central defenders," Redknapp said.

"We have one spare defender on our books in Vedran Corluka. There is no-one else who can play in the back four.

"It's not ideal but we're not going to find somebody tomorrow. Who is going to find someone good enough to play in the Premier League before Monday night?"

lol on many levels. sign messi? but i was robbed in madrid! 3 centre halves? don't they have 19 of them? lol if i was levy i'd make sure 'arry had nothing to do with transfers either

Bolton consider deadline day bid for Sturridge

City won't expect much for him

Paul Konchesky has gone out on loan to Nottingham Forest.

Meanwhile, Kenny Dalglish had nothing to report on Fernando Torres at this morning's press conference, but he did reveal that Jamie Carragher was back from injury and available for Wednesday's clash with Stoke.

fucking hate liveblogs about nothing but rmde at suggested film titles, especially when they don't use obvious examples for punning - i.e. if are going to suggest Much Ado About Nothing, at least make it a fake story about Freddy Adu.

DONE DEAL: Middlesbrough have signed defender Maximilian Haas from Bayern Munich II on a one-and-a-half year deal.

trrfic name

We've always been at war with Eastasia

story about Freddy Adu

signed with second division Turkish club iirc

Five goals in four years for Fredua.

James Beattie to Blackpool. There's so much wrong with this that I don't know where to start.

yeah sweet ickle blackpool would never sign a rangers player

How's he been doing? He must have been worth at least 10 points to Stoke when they signed him a couple of years ago.

I just mean he's completely and utterly rubbish and I can't see why any Prem team would want him. I've watched two games where he's been playing and I didn't even notice he was on the pitch until he was being subbed off!

xpost, but I suspect that answers Matt's question

i like the fact that he and brett ormerod are finally together again, it's kinda cute

He's been mostly injured, and has the sum total of zero goals, since coming to Scotland.

isnt he like 40 by now? when he went to stoke all i could think was 'surely he is too old for the prem' and then he was guaranteed points for your ff team. if only i didn't have two injured players i need to sort out over the next two weeks, he'd be straight in

He's apparently only 32!

He was a gifted swimmer, rated second in the country at the 100 metres freestyle

james boatie

whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?

He's been mostly injured, and has the sum total of zero goals, since coming to Scotland.

Beattie "won" a penalty, which Kenny Miller then missed - his only contribution of note that I can remember.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oMN1t-Gpe7g

Oh, I forgot he also gave a press conference where he said Rangers were maybe the biggest club in the world lololololol

Bless his big fat deluded cotton socks.

how is my first reaction to that: awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww ?

like stroking a retarded kitten

Torres to Chelsea deal breaks down after John Terry fails to agree terms with Torres's wife

Andy Reid and James Beattie are both the kind of signings a manager makes thinking "I know how to get the best out of him". Beattie could be the new Akinbiyi.

Guardian reporting Carroll to Liverpool is now a thing

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rmowVWW-oH0

lol ok now I get it kinda

That's just one game an' all!

long-haired loafer to liverpool

*applauds*

http://i.imgur.com/tmIiF.jpg

This is some underrated butthurt scouse melodrama in my opinion.

rape, epic swindle, treason ... club's fairly clocking up the big crimes this season. I bet they could murder a curry after today's hard work

Fernando Torres to Chelsea deal breaks down after John Terry fails to agree terms with Torres' wife

are you stealing other ilx jokes that were also stolen in the first place off twitter?

lol Wolfsburg just bought Orozco, the guy from the wonder goal which went all over the interwebz. i mean, scoring 1 goal against a Peruvian youth team will do as proof of immense talent.

Fernando Torres to Chelsea breaks down after Daniel Sturridge fails to agree terms with Torres' wife

Arsenal Football Club is delighted to announce that young Japanese forward Ryo Miyaichi has joined the Gunners on a long-term contract.

18 year-old Miyaichi has just completed taking part in the All Japan High School Soccer Tournament in his home country, where he represented Chukyodai Chukyo High School.

money money money money MAYBE (when comes back from Feynoord and turns out to be half decent. also lol at lots of the internet comparing him to CRonaldo)