ROLLING MCNULTY THREAD

Gerard Houllier's biggest move in the transfer market since his arrival at Villa Park has been to secure the services of a forward who comes with a guarantee of goals. The deal is also an emphatic show of faith in his manager from Villa owner Randy Lerner.

The shock transfer has already been portrayed as either a panic move by a Villa hierarchy fearing relegation or a coup that has stunned their rivals and makes a spectacular statement of intent about the future under Houllier.

Some may say Bent has gambled by dropping down the Premier League to join Villa and that Houllier has taken a punt by splashing out so much on one player - but the striker's goalscoring record makes him a safe bet as a finisher.

There can be no doubt in even the most cynical football fan's mind that Darren Bent is a striker, formerly of Sunderland, [huge lengthy pointless link]who will bag you goals in the Premier League[/lengthy pointless link]

However Manchester United manager Sir Alex Ferguson, in charge of the great northern side for over 20 years, may have other ideas. One thing is sure. Bent's transfer will have set tongues wagging throughout the English game, and from [lengthy link]pub to terrace and back[/lengthy link] the debate about his abilities will continue without any definite answer. Watch this space.

Bebe a slow burner surely?? Or not as the case may be.
2:23 PM Jan 17th

Sources within the kitchen have been speculating feverishly all evening about the possibility that the milk is probably a bit off by now. Phil McNulty is a man with a well earned reputation as a fastidious planner and it will sit uneasily with his carefully honed domestic philosophy to take a chance on the ageing dairy product at this stage of its lifespan. And yet sections of the McNulty camp may feel that after his gruelling work day - and the relative distance of the off licence - the senior BBC man may be willing to take a gamble in order to secure the crucial brew he so desparately craves. One thing is for certain - his wife will not be home for hours. This is one saga that may yet have a twist in the tail.

West Ham manager Avram Grant on seeing Hammers striker Frederic Piquionne sent off for celebrating after putting his side 2-1 up against Everton in a game the Hammers drew 2-2: "It's a joke. What is football about? It's about emotion. We are not computers. Freddie did the right thing, he went to celebrate with the fans. I need to check who created this law, I don't like it. Emotion is part of the game and we should encourage it."

Chief football writer Phil McNulty at Villa Park: "Gerard Houllier is smiling. Fabio Capello is smiling. And Darren Bent is certainly smiling as he reacts first to Joe Hart's save to score his first goal for Aston Villa. His first serious contribution to the game - but isn't that what Darren Bent is all about?"

Goals are what you get when you sign a player of Bent's calibre. Gerard Houllier will have known this. And indeed this column will have written itself in light of Bent's fine debut. Nothing will have surprised anyone and yet some things may raise eyebrows with those same people. Yet one thing is certain, the end of this paragraph will put the lid on this series of statements of the obvious without a great deal of aplomb. And for now that will do very nicely indeed.

actually from BBC, this summary:

"Does Darren Bent justify his £24m price tag? Phil McNulty ponders"

http://www.garden-fountains.com/famous-statues/thinker.jpg

oops http://www.garden-fountains.com/famous-statues/thinker.jpg

http://i.imgur.com/UygC8.jpg

Kinda looks like a rejected Limmy's Show character

was expecting someone a bit younger with more of a raffishly haughty air of invulnerability

dude's clearly just what he seems: middle-management bore, probably more worthy of compassion than disdain save for the fact he is the BBC's mouthpiece

le tissier could read the protocols to jeff stelling in fake patois and still be a more valuable member of the nation's football punditocracy than nulty

well the thing is that he brings nothing and is completely expendable, which makes him weirdly omnipotent - our cavilling cannot graze he who is absent

http://i.imgur.com/Cd5NW.jpg

ok, just seen this

:D

the only rules -- mspaint, less than two minutes

the floor is yours

http://sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc6/hs280.snc6/180796_731371488880_36910239_44760365_1662240_n.jpg

http://img228.imageshack.us/img228/318/nultcollage.jpg

http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y122/frigtwetch2535/nultlinkface.jpg

ronan that is fucking brilliant

http://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/philmcnulty/2011/01/can_fa_cup_cheer_moyes_ancelot.html

fucking hell...is he getting even worse or is it just me

so much "if", "should it", "may have" in that article - disappointing absence of the usual big phil certainties

Yes when David Moyes leaves Everton everyone will surely say well done on limited resources but you never won a trophy.

If the stakes were high when Everton met Chelsea in the 2009 FA Cup final at Wembley, then there will still be plenty riding on the outcome when the two clubs meet again in fourth-round combat at Goodison Park on Saturday.

tbh i kind of like the brain-meltingness of presenting this as an if-then.

18 out of 29 paragraphs there are Pat Nevin verbatim! At least phil checks back in to sign off with a flourish.

Chief football writer Phil McNulty's half-time snapshot at Craven Cottage: "Fulham's 4-0 lead is fully deserved - and it could have been a lot worse for Tottenham. Harry Redknapp's side have been taken to the cleaners. A magnificent display from Mark Hughes' side."

it could have been a lot worse yes, their stand could have been bombed

that's IT as I'm supposed to be busy here I'm going to go back and pull that night of liveblogging the Man Utd - Spurs game into one mighty footcelsior post.

Latest football blog posts
Fulham progress as Spurs falter
Phil McNulty on a day to remember for Fulham but one to forget for Spurs

BBC Sport's chief football writer Phil McNulty on Twitter: "Scenario unfolding is once Torres signs for Chelsea, Liverpool will close in on Carroll asking price. It will be gamble by Liverpool owners and a Chelsea side trying to find the last piece of the puzzle."

And his retirement should be accompanied by total respect for his achievements, even from the many who could not warm to his character. This is the very least a one-club man who became a symbol of a silver-lined Old Trafford era deserves.

As he goes, we can be certain we have not heard the last of Gary Neville - even his critics will agree with that.

At 10:39pm on 02 Feb 2011, James_Heneghan wrote:

Very worthy blog of one of the most passionate and dedicated players ever.

Gary Neville = Legend

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U5d8N0j5e9w

Leighton Baines went in ahead of Aston Villa's Stephen Warnock against Egypt, and while he did himself no harm, the Everton defender did not necessarily do himself a lot of good either.

Baines grew into the game after some early uncertainty, but he played within himself and did not add the attacking flourishes that mark him out as such an excellent performer at his club.

It could have been first-night nerves, or even strict instructions from Capello, but there is more to his game than was on show on Wednesday. Baines came through without any damage, which seemed to be his main ambition, and can feel satisfied with his England debut, but he is capable of better, more assertive displays.

England's Italian coach will have relished the victory as preparation for a Euro 2012 qualifier against Wales in Cardiff next month that he simply cannot lose. It was also a game that effectively started one international career and revived others.

On that basis alone, those who cared to label this as a game without meaning must think again - and would certainly get an argument from Capello.

And for Rooney himself, would this be a move that would take his career on an upward curve? He may well feel City's bottomless pit of cash makes them a viable option but there is an element of Rooney needing to be careful what he wishes for.

there is an element of Rooney needing to be careful what he wishes for.

― nakhchivan, Friday, 11 February 2011 04:27 (0 seconds ago) Bookmark

Boring as it might sound to some, Liverpool need a pair of safe hands that will restore dignity and credibility to Anfield after times of turbulence on and off the field.

Hodgson is a deep thinker about football and other things besides, as an avid reader of Milan Kundera, John Updike and Philip Roth. Liverpool will hope he can apply the intelligence gleaned throughout a long career to rebuild one of the fallen giants of the game.

A close study of his work at Craven Cottage confirms he fulfils all requirements at Liverpool. Listen to Anfield old boy Danny Murphy, speaking in Hamburg on the night before the Europa League final.

"The manager doesn't sprinkle magic dust on us," said Murphy. "The manager and his staff work damn hard to make sure the lads know their jobs. He does his research on players and the mentality of players who come into the club. He is a manager who organises his team well."

There are other facets of Hodgson's character that will have appealed to Liverpool's power brokers as they drew up their shortlist.

Bridge's situation will elicit sympathy, but it is unlikely too much of it will be on offer from Capello and his thoughts will have moved on almost instantly.

Kevin Davies will be his usual physical self up front, and it is highly unlikely many Bolton games will have the purists purring, but the thick-skinned and combative Megson will be supremely disinterested in that small matter.

He will hope to keep central defender Brede Hangeland beyond August, while Danny Murphy's experience and tactical awareness keeps things ticking over in midfield.

With Hodgson in charge Fulham can expect more of the same this season.

I fucking hate this thread because I have no idea when people are quoting and when they're making it up. It's distressing. Like Conservapedia, it's some kind of horrifying hall of mirrors.

these are all quotes

"Arise Sir Ryan Giggs" read a small banner tucked away in one of the quieter corners of Stoke City's thunderous Britannia Stadium.

And the current Knight of Old Trafford will be in no mood to argue after another emphatic demonstration of the class and composure contained within the Premier League's most enduring talent.

Sir Alex Ferguson introduced Giggs after finally tiring of Nani's posturing and lack of end product, and within minutes the gulf between the pretender and the consummate professional ensured Manchester United's superiority counted for something in Saturday's 2-0 win at Stoke.

Quinn appears to have pulled off a massive coup, and make no mistake Keane has had the best managerial education available under his mentor Sir Alex Ferguson.

He has long been regarded as the on-field embodiment of the fire, desire, and will-to-win of his brilliantly successful and single-minded manager at Old Trafford. His master's voice on the field.

One thing is for sure, once Keane walks into the Stadium of Light, life will never be the same again for Sunderland.

Arsene Wenger's lavish boast that Arsenal's Champions League meeting with Barcelona would illustrate "the art of football" came to fruition as a masterpiece was unveiled at the Emirates.

Barcelona provided brush strokes of rare beauty, especially in a mesmerising opening 25 minutes that will be imprinted forever in the memory of those of us privileged enough to witness it at close quarters.

Without a hint of his tongue forcing a hole in his cheek and with the straightest of faces, England goalkeeper James announced it was simply "a game against a decent outfit".

"Welcome To Warp Factor 10" was how Burnley chairman Barry Kilby announced the return of top tier football to Turf Moor after an absence of 33 years.

Colourful stuff from lifelong fan Kilby - a successful businessman who has crossed the often hazardous divide between terrace and boardroom - but a billing that was fully justified at the end of an emotional night at Turf Moor.

Up front, McLeish's capture of the giant Nikola Zigic from Valencia will add, literally, huge presence to their team. The impact he makes will have a big bearing on their season.

Snobs attack Pulis's style but you will not find many complaints in the Potteries.

yeah figured that's the only excuse for him...

do we need a new nult thread for 2011-12

what i would say is

yes

the prospect of a new nultthread to replace seasoned stalwart 'RMT' will be seen by many as a renewed SEO attempt on behalf of the 'the chief' as many are calling the embattled scribe

Seasoned ILX posters will have known that two things are foremost in their minds as a new thread is mulled, the first the issue of what it will be called the second, not withstanding a decision being made on that very name, they will decide in time, the second a post to begin the thread.

but what about wayne rooney

former everton man rooney has long been a controversial figure to the goodison park faithful

The decision represents a key element in the much-touted Fenway Sports' group's strategy of buying younger players, and sees Dalglish once again raiding the north-east as he bids to bolster his Liverpool side's challenge 2011, also seeking to bring back Champions League football at Anfield.

nult and boyd: corusccating bbc3 seriews in which the bbc man accompanies tubby caledonian goalhanger on a tour of britain's cash-strapped high streets

Nult Without My Daughter: BBC's Chief Football writer visits Iran to investigate failed marriages between Muslim men and American women.

The McNulty Report on the season just gone is up http://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/philmcnulty/2011/06/end_of_season_review.html

Ian Holloway brought verbal and footballing colour to the Premier League with a dashing approach that was only denied survival by defeat at champions Manchester United on the last day of the season.

verbal colour?

Will Abramovich demonstrate hidden depths of patience and allow Ancelotti's successor to build steadily towards new glory? Success must come swiftly

Martin Jol's swift appointment will help banish some of the disappointment. The Dutchman, still a hugely popular figure with Spurs fans after his time at White Hart Lane

can any spurs fans confirm?

The journey took in 72 matches and almost 22,000 miles, concluding with England's 2-2 draw with Switzerland in a Euro 2012 qualifier at Wembley.

Is he saying there were 72 matches in total this season here or...?

Wonderful, flowing style and memorable nights at the Emirates when Barcelona were beaten and Chelsea swept aside but once again no silverware and not even the meagre consolation of automatic qualification for next season's Champions League.

This is "Nult" actually a sentence!

am beginning to think nult just necks 3 bottles of magners and thinks 'to hell with it' before tapping out his bs. it's bloke-at-the-end-of-the-bar stuff.

And yet McLeish, like the unfortunate McClaren who paid a heavy price for sins in a previous coaching life despite winning the Carling Cup and reaching the Europa League Final with Middlesbrough and winning Eredivisie with FC Twente, has much to recommend him to Villa.

a subclause that will have been seen to literally devour its parent sentence

In preparing to criticise Atkinson for a poor, game-changing decision, one must make the usual proviso that not many would seriously want to take the sort of action that sees them villified for 67 minutes of a sunny Saturday afternoon by in excess of 30,000 people.

I, for one, might even accept nailing my hand to a bedside cabinet as a preferable option to taking charge of a Premier League football match with all the responsibilities and pitfalls this entails. It is not a job I would take, a decision confirmed by watching and hearing Atkinson walk off at half-time and full-time, security official at his side, with deafening abuse ringing in his ears.

the heat is getting to him

what was worse the decision or mcnulty?

https://twitter.com/philmcnulty/status/218444402136330240

omg

tbwp?

Some true classics itt

Browsed this entire thread just now. Some of the vintage Nult is so bad they you'd think it was made up. I think he may even have improved, in some tiny way.

difficult to say

there is probaby a slight refinement, a smoothing of the rougher edges, a retreat from the furthest reaches of the future perfect

it's not like he has sold out or anything like that, he's still very much nult

just think about that first sentence

http://www.bbc.co.uk/sport/0/football/23793389

He must have "no sub-editing" written into his contract

I do it for the love I have of myself, yet contemplating all this amongst the metaphorical trash around me, I can but look at the stars unwontingly, hoping for a better tomorrow as I have grown accustomed to do.

― c21m50nh3x460n, Friday, November 1, 2013 8:50 PM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Eight songs from those sessions made the final cut for The Men's new LP for Sacred Bones, the tongue-in-cheek-but-still-auspiciously-titled Tomorrow's Hits. This is their first album recorded in a high-end studio and, appropriately, the result is their highest fidelity album to date. That being said, it is still an incredibly straightforward and concise record that nonetheless is full of genre-bending risks. The end result reinforces the overarching theme that has come to define its makers: The Men are a great rock band plain and simple.

Wayne Rooney is the constant factor in Roy Hodgson's set-up but the rise to prominence of Kane adds to his embarrassment of riches.

good work, 9 months after managing 1 point in a World Cup group, England now have "an embarrassment of riches".

Welbeck is the rest of the embarrassment btw

The Constant Factor - Phil McNulty looks back on Wayne Rooney's England career in a new trilogy of books.

yo garda do you still have your nulty mspaint somewhere

The first year of Hodgson's reign I'm pretty sure Tom Cleverley was the constant factor.

Guardiola is the game's most coveted coach with a history of claiming the top prizes.

The combination of the charismatic Catalan's coaching brilliance and the financial backing he will receive makes this a partnership the rest of football world could come to fear.

little alliterative flourish before resolving to peak nult

wonder how 'chief football writer in alicante' is coming along

A different script might have been written had Sturridge not produced that late winner, but the bottom line is Hodgson's ploy worked.

Someone's in a rush for their croque monsieur

The body language of England's players, slumped on the turf in disbelief at how they had not beaten a desperately average Russia, spoke of their disappointment at what had hit them in those closing seconds.

It will have lingered as they made their way back to their quiet base in Chantilly, its restful ambience a sharp contrast to Marseille's edgy bustle - but England had plenty to be encouraged about. It was a performance that, for the large part, bristled with positive intent.

"CALLING OUT FROM NULTLAND, CALLING OUT FROM NULTY'S WORLD, IF YOU WANT TO BE FREE, YOU WILL HAVE LISTENED TO ME, YOU WILL HAVE LEARNED HOW TO LIVE, IN YOUR FANTASY"

― I see what this is (Local Garda), Saturday, March 5, 2011 10:25 PM (5 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

lmao

I also note from this thread that I in fact plagiarised the phrase "Chief Enemy of Thought" for a related project, apologies

xp. somehow managed to miss that post before, killing myself laughing at it

Lots of good stuff on this thread, recommend reading all of it except the actual authentic nult content extracts, which are kind of like unexploded ww2 bombs to my psyche at this point

Southgate will have wanted more goals and more tempo, especially in the second half - but what he wanted most of all will have been victory and that was never in doubt.

In McNulty we will have trust (Ed.)

Total fan service there