"My client became a YouTube sensation at the age of 12" - rolling off-season/transfer speculation thread 2011

And we're off. Guess who's getting in there early.

Pretty sure the above story is nonsense incidentally, but if it isn't, and Barca and Chelsea have both passed him over, he's clearly either mentally fragile, a cunt, just not that good, or all three.

nowt wrong with a good mentally fragile cunt overlooked by a big club in my book. i mean, we'd probably still be in the championship if arsenal had signed taarabt all those years ago...

qpr's summer is gonna be like this apparently.

or no wait, maybe like this.

and we're gonna sign these dudes.

or maybe these, i dunno.

if you ask me though i'm expecting danny graham, kyle naughton, madjid bougherra and maybe jimmy bullard for starters.

I'm expecting a whole summer of the papers trying to sell Beram Kayal and Emilio Izaguirre to any team that wants them (and several that don't, from Man Utd to Norwich), and for Celtic to sign three Mexicans that no-one outside of Mexico has ever heard of to keep Efrain Juarez company at the cinema now that all his pals have left. The "Artur Boruc back to Celtic" rumours to pick up a bit of momentum before coming to nothing, one out-of-favour EPL player to take over Freddie Ljungberg's place in the clothing catalogue (early money's on Richard Dunne, I believe), at least one Irish international player to be linked (Dunne fulfils this one again - this is the Robbie Keane Effect), and some 16 year old wunderkind from the lower reaches of Scottish football that rocks up, is paraded as the future, and will never be heard of again (this is the Paul Slane Effect).

Oh, and a whole summer's worth of papers will be linking us to James McCarthy until he signs for Norwich (who will, of course, have swooped in and snatched him from under our noses despite us not having actually made a move for him).

Some high-quality comedy players available this summer as well - I honestly have no idea who outside of Qatar or maybe Blackburn would want Michael Owen and Kieron Dyer at this point.

I think Kayal and Izzy will be offered improved deals very quickly to either put people off or drive the price up. If one of them has to be asset managed I'd rather it was Izzy but I think there's enough dead wood in the squad to get rid of first that we'll end up keeping most of our first XI including those two.

Wouldn't be overly upset to lose Cha Du Ri, Andreas Hinkel, Jos Hooiveld, Morten Rasmussen, Darren O'Dea, Niall McGinn, Darren Murphy and probably a few others. Need 1 x striker, 1 x centre half and 1 or 2 x goalkeeper.

Keep hearing Shane Long being mentioned as a Celtic target but I think there are a few English teams sniffing around so probably not gonna happen.

Think a mid table team with aspirations (no I'm not describing LFC) could do worse than go for Papiss Demba Cisse. Second top scorer to Mario Gomez in Bundesliga in an unfashionable Freiburg side. Been impressed whenever I've seen him, strong, good in the air, surprisingly nimble and mobile and leads the line well. In fact I might be selling him a bit short with the mid table thing, he may well be better than that.

jesus gomez got 28 in 32

was linked to madrid even when he was crap so wouldn't be surprised to see a bid

Cha Du Ri, Andreas Hinkel, Jos Hooiveld, Morten Rasmussen, Darren O'Dea, Niall McGinn, Darren Murphy and probably a few others

Wouldn't even notice if they went, tbh (completely forgot Andy Hinkel existed until he sneaked into some of my cup final photos. I keep remembering about him then forgetting again straight after, he's the footballing equivalent of the Silents in Doctor Who the other week). Could lose Juarez an' all I reckon. I had completely forgotten we still owned Ben Hutchinson, so I reckon it's surely time for him to go.

1 x centre half already incoming (Kelvin Wilson), and apparently 1 x right back (Adam Matthews, so that'll be a taxi for at least one of Messrs Hinkel and Du Ri, if we assume Mark Wilson's done enough to remain first choice).

how has Ki been for Celtic?

Jury's still out, I think. I'm becoming more convinced as time goes by, but I wouldn't put him in my first-choice midfield just yet. This isn't a slight on him, it's more that I don't see him as particularly suited to the Scottish game, he sometimes lets the pace of the game pass him by.

Of course, he's looked really good the last few games, and was probably our best player in the cup final, so I basically know nothing.

With everyone fit and on form and available for Celtic, Ki would just miss out on the first XI. I think he's starting to acclimatise to the Scottish game (i.e. he's started kicking cunts and getting booked) and if anyone came in for one of Scott Brown, Joe Ledley or Biram Kayal I'd be quite happy for Ki to take their place in the first team. I wish he'd shoot a bit more - it's clear he has a hell of a shot on him but doesn't seem to have a go often enough.

Think a mid table team with aspirations (no I'm not describing LFC) could do worse than go for Papiss Demba Cisse. Second top scorer to Mario Gomez in Bundesliga in an unfashionable Freiburg side. Been impressed whenever I've seen him, strong, good in the air, surprisingly nimble and mobile and leads the line well. In fact I might be selling him a bit short with the mid table thing, he may well be better than that.

― pandemic, Monday, May 23, 2011 11:07 AM (46 minutes ago) Bookmark Suggest Ban Permalink

amazing that senegal have him and Moussa Sow, leading scorer in France, and they only have 9 caps between them

Oh hooray, didn't take long for the 'Michael Owen to Celtic' rumours to start. Robbie Keane return and the unveiling of Darren Huckerby to follow.

Owen and Celtic could be an excellent fit, actually.

Re: Cissé and Sow, tbf one's played mostly 2nd-div. football in France and Germany, the other had a Ligue 1 scoring record of 12 in 72 until this season. I hope they become a serious force by 2014 though, that '02 Senegal team was awesome and it's unfortunate how far they've fallen.

Demba Ba is Sengalese as well. West Ham could realistically fetch up to $10m based on his short EPL resume 7 goals in 12.

Roman Pavlyuchenko
An exercise to keep us busy over the next 78 days or so: explaining how Tottenham could countenance offloading Pavlyuchenko (ten goals from 18 starts) whilst retaining both Jermain Defoe (four goals in 16 starts) and Peter Crouch (four in 20) without mentioning nationality. Good luck.

i know football365 are just lazy reading most of the time, but this is pretty otm

is bothroyd a free transfer?

spurs should move immediately imo. crouch out. stronger 'big man' option already. then move on to signing a finisher.

bear in mind Bothroyd only performs once every three months oh wait

improvement.

he's a much better target man than crouch, it's a position that could really transform us if filled half-right. lennon and bale must be sick to the back teeth of the current bunch of cross-shy lackspittles, and having crouch ahead of modric is such a waste of the latter's quick though/movement.

Just about to start a thread for the summer poll. A couple questions first though:

Greatest players or favourite players? Or do i just ignore the adjective?
Thinking no nominations thread, just a voting thread where we can also talk about players we have enjoyed, is that cool?
22 players to vote for and 2 managers? Or more? I see it as voting for a game of players, also keeps it to those you really care about voting for. Or would everyone prefer 100 votes of players they enjoyed in the 90s?

favourite, tbh, less baggage
that is cool

bothroyd can be alright sometimes but yeah you wouldnt rely on him or anything. bit of a knobhead too - he's the jermaine beckford of big lads basically. (although i suppose spurs fans would hysterically claim beckford was better than defoe now).

naah

tho beckford/defoe would be a decent everton strikeforce, no?

Atletico Madrid forward Sergio Aguero has asked the Spanish club to release him from his contract.

The 22-year-old Argentine international extended his deal to 2014 in January but his buy-out clause was reduced from £52m to £40m.

"After five intense years a stage in my personal development has ended and I have to move on to a new one," said Aguero on his website.

Chelsea, Liverpool, Manchester City and Tottenham have been linked to Aguero.

"I said long ago that when I wanted to go, I would say so publicly," added the Atletico striker. "And the time has come.

"So I keep to my word and here I am. I find it hard to leave Atletico. It hurts and saddens me."

Aguero has scored over 100 goals for Atletico since joining from Independiente as a teenager in 2006.

Spurs are being linked with Kevin Gameiro this morning. Given that Harry said yesterday that he'd been over to France in the week to see three strikers and none of them are as good as Pavlyuchenko, i'm not sure much will come of it.

apparently we've already got a figure agreed with Spurs for O'Hara so let's just hope that gets done this week and nobody acts the tit looking at you Mick

oh and please please please let the Karl Henry to QPR story be true. well, anywhere really.

Bothroyd to Celtic then?

It would be nice to have someone knock the odd header in from the 64 thousand corners we invariably waste.

nb "odd"

odd = infinitely more than we currently score. I can't recall a single headed goal from a corner kick in the league this season.

o'hara inevitable, really good signing for ye there.

Fancy keane? Cut you a good deal.

nah i'd pass

unlike Robbie bdum-tish

i guess it's conceivable he could motivate himself for us tbh and Mick likes an Irishman but i don't think we could get near his wage demands

personally think we shd take anything we can get for Jarv too while we're on. Berra can go, wouldn't bother re-loaning Mancienne, need a new back 4 tbh tho Zoob wd be first choice right back if he can stay fit and maybe Mick could try letting that nice young man Mouyokolo have a game seeing as he went to the trouble of buying him

you're in dreamland now.

I can see spurs having to fund keane's wages wherever he goes tbh. But he is a lazy selfish cunt these days so i couldn't recommend

is the cl final tomorrow or saturday?

Saturday night. Stupid idea.

great idea, if only because i'm on a stag in cork

should be 3 o'clock on a Sunday afternoon for the Asian audience.

lol we've pretty much been linked with karl henry every year since he was at stoke. could see it happen i guess, although i'd rather o'hara and i still reckon if we nipped in and dangled london in front of him he might fancy it.

keane was the stephen ireland wig-nicking ringleader wasnt he? not quite sure he'd be the best guy to serve under captain adel tbh.

bassong's come out and said he'd like to stay in london - wouldnt mind him in the slightest.

He added: “I’m happy here and I’m not going back to London. I’m staying here until I know what’s going on.

“I’ve moved out of my house and I’m not planning on going back to London. Moving up here was the best thing we ever did.”

okay nevermind. the pleb!

why are liverpool after friedel...does this mean reina's off? or they just want to pay the big bald man to sit on the bench?

throwin him a pity transfer imo

yeah sorry rtc jamie does seem to be really into it. don't worry tho i'm sure Mick'll change his mind at the last minute or do something else to fuck it up.

£7m for Coates looks like an amazing deal.

Wouldn't mind seeing Crouch go but is it realistic to expect Spurs to bring in two new strikers in the next 24 hours?

I suppose one would do.

Adebayor, Defoe, Pav, and Coulibaly seems like good depth to me.

defoe adebayor vdv pav

Ruiz in London negotiating a deal with Fulham atm

lol

so much for barcelona, arsenal and blackburn

To think Blackburn actually stood a chance there too!

Wenger could've used him tho tbh

too good for fulham surely

Parker handing in a transfer request the day before the window ends is a proper dick move imo.

huh? i guess it's just an aide memoire to west ham's skeezy cumdog owners that they should have let him leave months ago

wasnt he moving anyway?

maybe has to put it in to nullify a compensation clause?

anderson is a fat dick

er ist dick

gyan to galatasaray/trab at a loss?!

?

Juata Man (darraghmac)

duncan castles via mcnutty

DuncanCastles Duncan Castles
by philmcnulty
Sunderland asking for bank guarantees before selling Gyan to Galatasaray or Trabzonspor at loss. Cost €15m, going for €6m + variables. #safc

selling the reasonably talented asamoah gyan and buying kraaaatxi would be classic steve bruce

Swap deal surely?

can't believe arsenal fukt up the opportunity for "pjanic on the streets of london" headlines

incredible

Spurs should be right in for gyan

Yep, should be biting their hands off for a straight swap. Can't see Coulibaly making the first team this season.

Gyan's been terrible all year since Bent left. I think he's decent too, but for a name player I wouldn't place too much faith in him if he can't get it together to step up when they needed him.

He lost Welbeck as well as Bent, i can see why he might not fancy it anymore, but the price just seems insane

http://i47.tinypic.com/zjypt0.gif

^^^ He'll be doing that after a 6-0 defeat at the Emirates soon!

Eden Hazard has put in transfer request according to Guillem Balague.

It's being assumed that's to Arsenal, but last night there was talk of Liverpool wanting an option on him as part of the Joe Cole deal.

Hazard to Liverpool, Cahill to Spurs?

Hazard to Liverpool would feel like a watershed moment, if I was an Arsenal fan I'd be very worried by that rumour.

think i read lille were really naffed off with arsenal after the korean dude gazumping and would rather sell hazard to anyone else

leeds taking gradel exit 'well' i see:

Leeds United have reluctantly accepted an offer from French club Saint-Etienne for Max Gradel.

The player, who joined Leeds for an initial fee of £200,000 when he moved permanently from Leicester in January 2010, submitted a transfer request earlier on Tuesday, stating his desire to secure a move to his 'native' France and play at the highest level for his career development.

dicks

DuncanCastles Duncan Castles
£3m + £2m to Monaco if Park avoids military. £50k pw to player. #AFC to get it back in commercial revenue.

keisuke honda to arsenal would be good

thing on the guardian transfer update about the man united website is pretty funny, when you enter the site a picture of sneijder pops up for a few seconds before being replaced by rooney... someone on their web team having a bit of a laugh?

ah never mind its just accompanying their 'gossip' page. serves me right quoting the guardian as an authoratitive source without doing my own research I guess!

DRUDGE SIREN

Anzhi Makhachkala miss out on £76.2m deadline-day signing of Porto's Hulk
The Russian outfit attempted to lure the Brazil international away from his current club in the closing stages of the summer transfer window

DRUDGE SIREN.

lol

The deal is meant to have fallen through because Porto wanted an extra 3m Euro. Talk about driving a hard bargain.

Surely untrue, but I'm choosing to believe it anyway. Maybe that was also the rumoured Man City world record deal that went all quiet mid-evening?

No, that one was definitely made up

for that rangers striker eh

Daily Mail: Doncaster make audacious bid to land Mahamadou Diarra, currently a free agent having been released by Monaco:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sport/football/article-2045764/Doncaster-target-Mahamadou-Diarra.html

Sun: Doncaster make audacious bid to land Lassana Diarra, currently of Real Madrid

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/sport/football/3853367/Doncaster-go-for-Real-Madrids-Lassana-Diarra.html

I wonder which is correct.

City close in on 'best young player in the world'

LEAVE ZAKARIA ALONE!

maybe more MLS/usmnt thread fodder but

Report: FC Dallas Rejects Schalke 2.5m Pound Bid for Brek Shea

Liverpool, City, Chelsea rumored to be in the mix for this dude too