Not in the wider interests of ILX: The Football League, Conference and beyond, 2011-12

Fuck it, I've been sat on this thread title for months, it's less than two weeks away...

http://i.thelocalpeople.co.uk/275790/Article/images/12831992/2976688.png

THEY'RE READY

http://news.bbcimg.co.uk/media/images/53295000/jpg/_53295098_sheffield_rust.jpg

THEY'RE READY

http://i572.photobucket.com/albums/ss165/roselandlace/Wombles-4.jpg

THEY'RE READY

http://images.icnetwork.co.uk/upl/liverpoolecho/jul2011/9/4/didi-hamann-with-tony-evans-961268322.jpg

THEY'RE READY

http://www.independent.co.uk/multimedia/archive/00033/Raj_Persaud_33222t.jpg

HE HAS NO IDEA WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT

http://news.bbcimg.co.uk/media/images/49875000/jpg/_49875646_cko3clean.jpg

"Obviously, the question you've got to ask is, well, are you ready - you know, prepared, definitely - are you ready - and you have to be sure about this at this level - for some football? And I'd say the answer to that has to be, y'know, wait and see."

So, where do we stand?

CHAMPOHHHHHH: Leicester have signed everyone, unless they play for Watford, in which case Cardiff have signed them. Blackpool are tantalising everyone with the prospect of a Brett Ormerod-Kevin Phillips strike pairing. Using all his imaginative powers, Big Sam has signed Kevin Nolan and Bolton's Portsmouth's Matty Taylor (West Ham are going up, aren't they?). Glenn Murray made himself the most popular man in Sussex, Brighton responded by emerging as the surprise victors in the race for Craig Mackail-Smith, Palace responded by signing a gorgeous pouting Norwegian. Birmingham have shed a bunch of players, but Chris Hughton and Paul Trollope make for an intriguing management team; bit of a shame about y'know, all that other stuff. Derby didn't go anywhere for their holidays, Leeds didn't see the point with all that Twitter rubbish, Andy Thorn is evidently creating some kind of bald mafia. Peterborough got promoted, too, in case you'd forgotten.

And there's no comment required here.

As for us - signed Jack Cork and Belgian Winger, new shirt makes us look remarkably like Sunderland (like, even more than usual), and Lee Barnard isn't in prison. I think we've got every chance of going up. I also think that's true of at least, ooh, three-quarters of the division. Best league in the world? Abso-fuckin'-lutely.

Hull City are gonna ave a go imo, assuming they can offload that feckless cnut Bullard anywhere, really

LEAGUE THE FIRST: Way before Alex McLeish was getting death threats, Danny Wilson was rocking that whole 'making an entire city hate you' thing by becoming the feller in charge of dragging Sheffield United back to the not-quite-promised land. He gets to lock horns with Gary Megson, who's in charge at Wednesday, in what's set to be one of the most depressing cross-city sporting rivalries ever. Elsewhere in Yorkshire, Huddersfield have lost some players but picked up some others, and will be a very solid bet for going up. Jason Euell's been training with Charlton (haven't discovered LJ's views on Therry Racon moving to Millwall yet, have we?). Ryan Lowe has been making friends on Twitter.

Basically, though, this one looks to be a right pain to call, again, so let's just remind ourselves once more that Dale Jennings really has signed for Bayern Munich. No, we didn't dream it.

wait, what did i miss about dr raj?

bloody hard to predict the old champo this year. i know that's said every year but really though. southampton, blackpool (barry ferg, great signing) and brighton look perky but perhaps chrissy keeping the ship steady at birmingham will grind out the consistency over the season. how quickly big sam and malky can overhaul old malaises is maybe open to question, cardiff look like they could be dangerous. still don't fancy leicester but wake me up if they sign nicky maynard or someone.

peterborough look like locks for the drop. coventry too you'd have thought, but my sky blue in-law is adamant that andy thorn had them playing the best football he's seen there for a decade. then again that doesnt usually get doncaster far above the relegation zone either.

¯\(º_o)/¯

need Donny to stay competitive until we sack McCarthy in November, then we can poach O'Driscoll.

"in what's set to be one of the most depressing cross-city sporting rivalries ever"

otm

a Wednesday-ite mate of mine gets chronic depression every time he hears the word Megson.

I had completely missed Barry Ferguson signing for Blackpool, but agree he's a good signing for them.

Dunno how much of a first team squad Cardiff had out against Celtic on Wednesday night, but they looked manky. Kenny Miller might be the answer though, stranger things have happened.

no way

Yeah, I didn't think a Wolves fan would agree (and he's not known as Kenny Misser for nothing to most Celtic fans) :) He did have a stellar half-season at Rangers last year before running off to Turkey in search of a natural alternative to sunbeds more money though, but I expect that was a bit of a fluke.

i was thinking he wasn't good enough at that level before so why wd he be any better now?

LEAGUE THE SECOND: This summer, the basement division leapt straight out of the shadows to mark itself out as being at least as mental as its bigger brothers, except more so, because this summer League Two brought two of the biggest characters in the game out of retirement.

First off - Peter Ridsdale owns Plymouth! Or possibly not. Either way, Plymouth's players have had to defer wages for the eighth month in a row, and Liam Dickinson left the club one week after signing - though Anthony Elding managed to top that by agreeing to sign, then less than a day later deciding to join Grimsby instead. It's not the greatest start...

Meanwhile, Paolo di Canio's managerial career is kicking off at Swindon Town, with a clutch of signings that are intriguing to say the least - Charlton's Alan McCormack, former Sheffield Wednesday winger Etienne Esajas and Grimsby goal machine Alan Connell are all pretty big fish at this level. They're joined by a veritable fleet of obscure European players, plucked from lower divisions across the continent - including Namibian international Oliver Risser, who's been made captain. They also had Leon Knight on trial. But they didn't sign him.

Elsewhere, Cheltenham Town are bamboozled by the riches of Crawley, no-one's quite sure what's going on at Port Vale, the BBC aren't exactly raising Wimbledon fans' expectations about their new centre-back, business as usual at Crewe, and Bayo Akinfenwa's back at Northampton.

I reckon Crawley will probably bounce straight up, I'm too terrified of Andy Hessenthaler to predict anything other than success for Gillingham, and beyond that we're talking about a division that has seen Morecambe, Accy Stanley, Aldershot and Dagenham & Redbridge make the play-offs in recent years, so... fuck knows.

£8m FOR SHANE LONG?!??????!!

i was thinking he wasn't good enough at that level before so why wd he be any better now?

Dunno, wee bit more experience? I seem to remember Barry Ferguson being a flop last time he went to England, and he seems to have got good in the intervening period before his return. I do wonder though if people thinking Kenny Miller's massively improved good-on-paper scoring record of last season is pretty impressive have actually seen these goals from last season, several of which occurred in the midst of masses of fouling and jersey-pulling (and also several goals were from the penalty spot)?

Ach, good luck to him. Am glad his stupid permatanned gub won't be back up here any time soon.

Any news of David Barry "Dave" Kitson after his mammouth eight goal haul last season?

I am looking forward to a Brentford season for the first time in years. Uwe Rosler seems like he could be in the fine tradition of 'madcap foreign manager' and we've made proper signings not the usual cheap options. Shaleum Logan from City and Niall McGinn on loan from Celtic especially promising. I actually think we could go up.

is jason puncheon just one of these bizarre amdy faye dudes that the managers' union seem to get hung up on or can he actually play? i'm not sure if gorkssy (kaspars gorkss) is good enough for the prem but i wouldnt be swapping him for this guy either.

Reports suggest not just swapping Gorkss for Punch, swapping Gorkss +£500k for Punch. He looked OK for Blackpool end of last season, but he's a Championship-level player at best.

Also, Sven's decided he's the man to get Michael Johnson's career back on track.

Harry Forrester chooses Brentford over Ajax; BBC Sport factfile compiler not impressed.

While it stays up, yr opening goal of the season:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cjJyNVCtP-s

good game, great goal

Birmingham start as the mean to go on (hopefully)

lovely. nice Saints win now wd round the Saturday off nicely.

yeah, that looks a good game. Think I'll take in the LFC friendly vs Valencia though being as it will be the last time I can watch them this season without seething with misplaced rage as they lose.

Thought Brighton had drawn but now I see they got a last minute winner! Hurrah! Seagulls!

No Oxencart-Chamberpot for Saints?

Just seen Adam Lallana's goal, v nice indeed.

RIP Leeds.

http://community.secondlife.com/t5/image/serverpage/image-id/29599iA8CF5E91717F65AC/image-size/original?v=mpbl-1&px=-1

Surprisingly, Billy Paynter has a shit finish.

Should really have gone to the pub to watch that. Bugger.

But yes, pretty much as good a start as we could ask for.

went to check the blades score on the bbc, clicked "championship", and suddenly it hit home. so sad.

anyway, lol leeds though.

Just a quick break in my life of lurking here to put in a word on the Wimbledon match today.

Shame we lost, but the atmosphere was pretty great, everyone walking from the station to the ground had a bit more jollility in their stride than usual, and that hadn't been dimmed by the time of the walk back from ground to station. No smoking in the ground was a bit of a blow, but prices at the burger vans remained the same, which was nice. Worst point was going to pick up a commemorative enamel badge from Terry's Badges, only to find out that a load of roving Bristolians had been there and bought the lot about 2 hours before kick off.

Good game, nice that we didn't just give up after going 2 down, and some of our players looked happy at this level. There are big problems in a few areas though, and these will really need to be addressed if we want to be comfortable this season. Our right back (Sam Hatton) is not really a right back and will struggle badly in League 2, but the main issue is that 2 of our midfield 3 are shite. Ricky Wellard is genuinely awful at most things footballers should be good at, and Rashid Yussuf is good going forward but provides no cover at all and his positioning is useless. Still think we'll do fine this season though, and hopefully this result will stop some fans going on about automatic promotion.

Anyway, that's enough semi-pissed rambling from me, enjoy the season!

Possibly alcohol-related prediction: our keeper, Seb Brown, will be in the Premier League within 5 years.

Oh gosh, our goals are just so nice...

Manish saying Peterborough "got rid of" Craig Mackail-Smith. Not quite the right verb, there...

some great goals today

i mean that adam chambers strike

By the sounds of things, Sean Dyche's voice is taking some time to adjust to management.

Ipswich "have gone down the route of paying decent wages", according to Claridge. Scumbags.

Hang on a minute - straight into League One? Where are the texts? WHERE IS CLEM?

CLEMMMMMMMM!!! CONGRATULATIONS WIMBLEDON, YOU HAVE MADE IT NOW!!!

(I do quite like Clem)

clem is a south donegal word for fool iirc

This just doesn't quite feel the same anymore. That Oliver Risser goal's rather good, though.

Like this. The league tables. But Manish isn't standing in front of them. I have no idea what Manish's trousers look like. It ain't right.

And Operation Allardyce gets underway... with a 1-0 home defeat to Cardiff.

Meanwhile, nice bit of context about yesterday's Brighton game.

http://img221.imageshack.us/img221/3438/walruscuntg.jpg

Big Sam dancing to Altern-8 there.

modul8ting his module

in the spirit of the thread title I'd like to highlight that ^the above sets it up delightfully for Cardiff to bottle the playoffs on the last day

meant to come and cheer for Paulo di Canio yesterday but the kids have hogged the computer all weekend

"Saturday is about what what we do. Sun Tzu - The Art of War - (never underestimate your opposition) and we've got to expect the unexpected from them

Dammit Nigel.

Good Luck to Saints for the weekend!

i'm going to the game tomorrow. keep an eye out for me on tv, i'll be the one watching through my fingers.

They'll be thousands of you!

Get In!!

:D COME ON YOU SAINTS

YESSSSSS!! CRUISING

just need a City goal now to finish this

As a part-time Brighton fan I really shouldn't be supporting Saints, but fuck Allardyce.

ooh cardiff 1-0 down

had a soft spot for Southampton since the 70s but also fuck Allardyce

How much trouble are West Ham in if they don't go up? They've spent pretty heavily.

Are they still moving into the huge Olympic stadium as well?

So looking like all 3 relegated teams will be in the play-offs.

Allardyce claimed there was a 2 year plan to get back into the Prem so it sounds like they're prepared to fail this season. long way to go yet tho.

That should do it - well done Southampton

Danny Fox and Jos Hooiveld in the Prem? Blimey.

Mowbray's useless. Boro legend and nice guy no doubt but missing the play offs is abysmal.

No idea what he's doing there, tbh.

Congrats, WBS.

Hearty congratulations to Swygart and Jabba!

Yes well done chaps. Hopefully it'll've been worth the bother.

NIGEL ADKINS HAS READ A LOT OF LITERATURE SUGGESTING LIVERPOOL WON'T WIN THE PREMIER LEAGUE 2012/13

FC United 1-0 up at Chorley in the play-off semi that everyone's talking about

glory hunter

2-0! Evostik Glory beckons!

Final against Bradford Park Avenue next weekend

http://www.metro.co.uk/sport/oddballs/897749-neil-warnock-puts-in-star-performance-in-new-leeds-kit-launch-video#ixzz1tXbsR1LY

Neil Warnock is not Eminem.

so noone watching the playoffs? little tom ince looking a decent player.

ooh, kevin phillips puts in the back of the net 30 seconds after coming on, but he was offside.

https://p.twimg.com/AsH3q0kCQAAhFmU.jpg:large

^ Hartlepool fans on the way to Charlton today (they're the ones on the left escalator)

superb

FC United's play off final has gone into extra-time...

Nooooooooo! Bradford score in the 120th minute :-(

From Ned, Cardiff fan: "Optimistic for today, we have nothing to lose... gutted to miss this through work!"

this semi finals been a bit of a classic. noodle vague must have no nails left and brown trousers

aaaaand that's brum in administration

cheerio you cunts

west ham have already twice sonned blackpool with brutal displays of percentageball but the final still looks tasty

BBC says that's 11 straight play-off wins for Blackpool.

found it harder to hate the Bluenoses under Hughton but he's welcome to come to Molineux if they can't afford to pay him next season

he deserves better than birmingham

though as you say its impossible to hate them as much as when the ginger judas was manager

hey guys i guess i'm wit u lot now

welcome to the lost world

The Saints boss also admitted that he has been inspired not only by teams who have recently established themselves in the top flight after winning promotion from the Championship, but by Roger Bannister's feats in 1954.

Gonna wait til new season before bringing Nigel to the mainstream thread.

one year to go before adkins to liverpool becomes the talk, who's stoked

ha, i think he's already hinted that would be his dream job

west ham are screwed if they don't win on sat right? poor fat sam....doesn't bear thinking about :D

gah matty phillips has already wasted 2 great chances

sigh, 1-0 west ham. i could be out in the sunshine instead of watching this.

module delivered