"The Championship is not an option" - I Love Football off-season and transfer speculation thread 2012

HE'S READY

http://blogs.telegraph.co.uk/sport/files/2009/06/owen2.jpg

there's no way di Matteo is getting the Chelsea job, amirite?

Stoke chairman Peter Coates has suggested the club could look to sign Michael Owen this summer.

poor lad won't make it through a training session without a shawXing

I reckon RdM will be offered a coaching staff job while they bring in a higher profile/established manager.

and hopefully he will give them detailed directions on where to stick it

yes, well you'd think he'd have options at the moment

That said, dunno how much Chelsea's success is down to him and how much is down to the entitled arseholes actually trying to play once they got rid of Villas Boas. He'd never struck my as Champs League winning material before*.

*before Saturday night at half nine tbh.

well i'm not saying it's down to him as such but most clubs wd probly let you find out after you'd won them the Champions League

it'll just be supremely, deliciously evil when Roman brings another guy in and then sacks him come December cos Fat Frank doesn't like being told what time he has to turn up for training or something

Villas Boas managed more Chelsea CL games than di Matteo did. It's probably not how he'd've chosen to do it, but he's still matching Mourinho imo. Now to do the same with Inter Liverpool.

That said, I'm hoping PSG get trigger-happy after last night and Ancelotti becomes available.

guess it depends how set abramovich (and the shadowy cabal of hilariously overpromoted bootlicks advising him) really is on revamping the squad and installing a faddish new playing style and whether the cl has wiped his memory of the previous years. if so then no better time to draw a line obv

lol at torres today, the jumped-up past-it cunt really is at the right club

http://www.guardian.co.uk/football/2012/may/21/fernando-torres-chelsea-future

yes - the moaning, whingeing, 'I was ready to throw in the towel', blaming the club rather than admitting he's been rubbish - I was almost shocked by the content of this piece.

I mean

"The ideal for me for next season is if someone tells me what's going to happen," Torres said. "What role will I have in the team? What function? What is expected of me? And then I have to evaluate if it is worth it. You will see me in London celebrating with everyone and then on Monday in Ibiza."

why hasn't the club shown more faith in me, I'm a striker who went 18 odd games without scoring.

your role is CF, your function is to score goals, ideally 25 or so.

we're looking for about 38% of messi's production. can you manage that nando?

Why does he have to tell us he'll be in Ibiza on Monday?

If I were going to Ibiza rather than stuck here working, I'd be telling you all about it too.

Is Ibiza where Spain are having there Euro 2012 training camp? Seems unwise.

he means that despite all the betrayals of him he's still professional enough to respect his duty to the club and its fans to bask in its successes

this will have been appreciated

no different to any other of his teammates brainless and shameless displays of craven undeserved vanity tbf

the trophy lift was just the perfect storm, bosingwa and shirtless flexing kalou simply refusing to shift from centre stage even if it obscured the presentation itself

somewhere that evening a single nostlagic tear rolled down david may's cheek

http://wherearetheynow1.files.wordpress.com/2010/10/david-may.jpg

haha

de Boer turns down an interview with Liverpool. I've got a lot more respect for this guy than for Brendan Rodgers, certainly

How about ... TIGANA?

(for LFC)

xp what in general or for his decision to turn his nose up at you lot

Not a name I'd considered, in fairness. Or a return for Anelka now he's got a bit of experience?

For turning it down in a classier way, namechecking Bergkamp and the project ongoing at Ajax which frankly I'd rather like transplanted to Merseyside. And for winning stuff.

if guardiola deigns to give a rejection speech, you can be sure it will be the classiest

he'll gave those liverpool fans on his lap and he'll tickle their belly and they will coo and ask him again in february

g/have

That's undoubtedly the calibre of rejector to aspire to, though.

But never mind that, here's the big story: Spurs fans round on Saha and Pienaar. Golden chance to raise ilf's profile missed.

caption says Spurs are Saha's 'former team'

I quite like saha's response tbh.

As for Further proof that footballers are totally disconnected from reality... total idiots @louissaha08 & @therealstevenpithe What is this reality of which you speak?

seriously if a 'top, top manager' doesn't go to LFC then why not consider eg

Keegan
Hoddle
Tigana
Sven-Goran Eriksson
Curbishley
Neil Lennon (pretty good fit given relations Celtic - LFC?)

as well as eg AVB, Benitez

I'm not naming McCarthy, McLeish as they've been relegated; and not Strachan, Bruce cos Utd connections; and not Ian Rush cos seems a rehash of Dalglish scenario.

of course Hansen / Lawro would be one kind of dream team in their inability to live up to their TV talk.

questions for LFC fans:

will Carragher be coach?

and: will Stevie G be LFC manager one day?

actually - Jol for LFC! why not?

Carragher - maybe
Gerrard - please delete your post, even the idea of such a notion existing on the interwebs horrifies me.

Carra was yes to perhaps coaching in the future, not yes to managing. Would not even consider anyone on yr list except avb or rafa.

re Stevie G: I don't know why. I have an idea that a year or so ago, lifelong red Stevie T was saying that Stevie G should be the next manager after Dalglish.

I like Stevie G.

re considering people on list: yes, but some people on LFC's list are not considering LFC.

I don't think Jol could win the title or anything, but I think he would produce an exciting attacking team at Anfield and probably win more matches than the last 2 seasons.

Guardiola obv wouldn't consider it, and De Boer said no too. Rodgers said no to the interview process, dunno if he'd turn it down if actually offered the job, but perhaps he would. Would have to be turned down by around 200-300 people before we got around to keegan or lennon imo

Would have to be turned down by around 200-300 people before we got around to keegan or lennon imo

There's plenty of time.

Stevie G player-manager
Carragher assistant
Benitez as DoF -- elder statesman for advice

think you could do worse than that.

I think they could do worse with that.

Would have to be turned down by around 200-300 people before we got around to keegan or lennon imo

Bit harsh on Keegan there.

lol pinefox, how about having Kenny in there in some capacity too?

Kenny - DoF
John Barnes - Manager
Owen - CF
Fowler - PR

Ruddock - fitness coach
Roy Evans - enforcer

I would have said KD as DoF -- lots of people said he should be kicked upstairs.
But the owners were clearly more ruthless than that; he's no longer at the club and I can't see him coming back soon.

I think my scheme is really not bad, except maybe Stevie needs to retire to focus on being manager ... I don't know ... KD didn't, c.1985! Benitez coming back in planning role seems a good plan though maybe he would seek more control.

Grobelaar - GK Coach

I can't believe no LFC fans back my plan. I bet if you look on websites & messageboards, some would be quite keen on it.

xpost those are excellent suggestions, though less serious than mine.

they already tried gerrard, carragher and rafa running the club iirc

13 lol get tae fuck

exactly how many chances did suarez get in that season at ajax when he scored more than a goal a game?

Suarez'll be fine. The midfield should be better this year, which'll give him a bit less to do, which means he'll've a fraction of a second more to adjust his placement so he now hits the inside of the post.

I was musing whether Liverpool'll finish above Everton though - can't really see it right now.

i oughtn't be surprised but the level of analysis from the sky panel on the players at spurs is absolutely, incredibly moronic

avb got rid of all these great players (list of players forced out under redknapp)

avb got rid of modric and vdv, replaced with dembele and dempsey , they've weakened (players wanted to leave, sold well, bought well)

only letiss making any sense

basically, 'arry did brilliant why as avb broken up that team? (arry broke up that team!)

repeat, Dempsey is the effectual VdV

i think vdv gives you a lot of extraneous stuff that spurs fan value v highly

i probably agree that dempsey has potential to be more effective, more adaptable positionally, be more consistent.

sigurdsson probably more of a vdv replacement tho

ffs

"why spend 13m on a goalkeeper? brad friedel is good enough?"

send in john giles to sort out stelling, there's playing dumb and there's being a cunt

am i remembering correctly that Friedel was kinda shocking second half of last season?

no, tbf, but he's 41

i mean, yeah we could've done with shipping out gomes for a couple mil, or releasing cudicini, or both, but bringing in lloris for 8m (note ridic inaccuracy from the lads above) is being painted as lol, wtf

will be suffering west ham this afternoon just to see carroll grab his inevitable goal. shame dejagah isn't playing for fulham.

btw sky text reckons spurs can still possibly sign mountinho?? Don't know how that works.

haha the last 15m of soccer saturday was so moronic a big sam team has come as a welcome relief!

Carroll assist!

!!!!!!!!!!! caroll youse fucks

sure Andy can get on the end of one of Jarvis's many, many pinpoint crosses

lol dropped already, cunt

avb's a whipping boy, this kind of chat is what he's for. You know this anyway, Spurs had a long line of them before Redknapp (before Jol maybe? I don't remember him being a bullyee except on here)

feel like i should start posting anglosax former pro comfortable criticism of spurs into the 'is this anti semetic' thread tbh

anti levitic, surely

carroll causing mayhem

CARROLL YOUSE FUCKS

west ham goin ham

ffs it's only fulham

carroll should get a penalty there, not only on ilx this anti-big prejudice

lol

carroll is not a big

he isn't big enough, literally, and insofar as he is anything other than completely useless, it's through being energetic and harrying defenders, which a big would never have the energy or inclination to do

pls

he's a big

also kevin doyle if he isn't 'showng heart' = basically a league two player

ya

silva without technique is just a dancer

???

Doyler used to be pretty deft before McCarthy/Connor sucked the life out of him

deems bigs are all about langorous, slothful dignity

carroll might have worse acceleration than a 34 year old heskey but he has all the dignity of a serbian war criminal

nice bit of play here

idk i think that in my definition, having anything akin to a serbian war criminal gets you on the big ladder

xp yeah this is a decent midlevel epl game, almost prototypically so tbh

two nil

no caroll involvement ;_;

wobbly keyboard making shite of my typing of carroll tbh

this is not the right thread you savages.

otm but i've only got ILF on SNA as part of the conditions of my release

lol xp

The thing about Dempsey is that he's a first teamer who's worth three squad players. He can play attacking midfield, support striker or on the wing. So he's cover for Lennon or Sigurdsson. If Adebayor's injured he'll provide some height in attack and, theoretically, allow Defoe to function better in the team.

VDV was wonderful *and* effective when he played well but he did lack versatility. He never played well on the right bar one game against Arsenal.

Also VDV is REALLY not a player who's going to be good into his thirties, his decline will be very rapid and I suppose Levy didn't want to be the one paying his wages when it happened.

right about dempsey

agreed re vdv on the right- even in that arsenal game iirc he was at fault for a goal we conceded. but i mean, sol campbell also shit on the right of midfield. cantona never impressed me there. maradona was woeful in goals. vdv isn't a right winger.

dunno about his 30's. he relies on technique, positioning more than any physical aspect, but he's always been an 'impact' player rather than a 'run for 90 mins' player. i think he'll have three or four good years yet in his career. i don't think 10m was a great price for him tbh.

yeah vdv will be good for three or so seasons yets

the price reflects the fact levy was prepared to sell

is borini any good does anyone know?

Really the player who will turn out to be irreplaceable is Modric. Everyone just played better when he was in the team and there isn't anyone else quite like him in the Premiership.

I dunno, the jury's out still. We need these new signings integrated into the team asap. It'll all count for nothing if Spurs persist in shitting themselves whenever a reasonably physical bottom half team bullies them for the last 10 minutes.

it wasn't the last ten minutes that worried, it was the entire 90 where nobody had a single idea about how to break down norwich

floodgate mmoment

decent break but seemed too easy too. the kind of break spurs would concede to

You're posting on the wrong thread.