The ILF Awards 2012, brought to you in association with Mister Potato

http://img812.imageshack.us/img812/4678/lestweforgeti.jpg

Because footballers don't get enough fame, money or acclaim: the ILF Awards 2012.

There are three categories:

• player of the year;
• team of the year; and
• rotter of the year.

The awards will be announced and presented at a gala dinner at the New Mandalay restaurant, Jesmond, Newcastle-Upon-Tyne on Thursday 13 December.  And simultaneously liveblogged itt.  I'm hoping that Sarah Millican will be our celebrity compere, but tbh she may be out of our league these days. Nile Ranger will be presenting the awards, and if Sarah can't make it he'll also be doing a bit of stand-up.

See you there!

FUCK, both EBRJT and Suarez's racial insensitivities technically happened in 2011. Gotta actually think about ROTY.

terry, suarez was misunderstood iirc

POTY- sandro
TOTY- Spurs
ROTY- gallas

This is going to be so skewed due to team allegiances

which makes it more fun tbh

i'm consistently outraged that the league table isn't, tbh

poty - suarez
toty - suarez
roty - suarez

ha

Are those Man U plums holding the bootleg Pringles you get in that picture up there?

I want to say yes

Three ballots so far, chaps - that's a good start towards our target of four.

Is this EPL-only?

Gonna try and do it properly but...

POTY - Aguero
TOTY - Swansea
ROTY - Plain Old Brave & Racist John Terry

No manager of the year? I wanted to rep for Rafa.

ROTY - Plain Old Brave & Racist John Terry

his rear isn't that great??

Okay. Anderson then. His is massive.

what is rafa's favourite site for reading about uk bass music and weird techno?
facht magazine

is this calendar year?

Is this EPL-only?

Very much not. I suppose you can vote epl-only if you want, but tbh I'd be struggling to get five of anything other than rotters.

Yes, this calendar year. It makes it a bit more interesting to do imo - there's not too many who've had storming first AND second halves to the year.

I wouldn't get too forensic though, just do it off the top of your head - as long as nobody puts up too many spoilers, we should get a decent spread of votes and hopefully a surprise or two.

I'm not planning on long countdowns either - top threes should be enough, don't want the black bean sauce to get cold.

rvp, fletcher, jelavic

I should make clear that it's worldwide - if you feel big Emile's strong start down under deserves recognition, be my guest.

POTY - Torres. He needs cheering up and i think that winning this award would do just that
TOTY - Borussia Dortmund. I jsut like them
ROTY - Roman Abramovich. OK he bought us the CL but I'm still pissed off with him re RDM

what is rafa's favourite site for reading about celeb gossip oddly interspersed with interstitial conversational iberian tics

ok magazine

POTY - luis suarez
TOTY - atletico madrid
ROTY - mark hughes

Cannae believe you're spurning Falcao like this. Can we be sure of nothing in this God forsaken world
anymore?

xp do i actually have to email that cos i'm not gonna

YES I KNOW but falcao's just had a little fallow spell and he's part of toty so... :(

calendar year suarez has been magnifico and v much not a part of toty

since appointment dec 2011: p53 w38 d8 l8, uefa cup and super cup

diego simeone worth a side bet for chelsea job imo

Yes you do xp, and you're supposed to vote for five - thanks for thumbing your nose at both of my rules ffs.

five bloody hell

Also the 'no spoilers' rule isn't even a rule, and you've gone and broken that too.

whats my deadline i'm quare busy

Next Wednesday. Honestly, five minutes spent on this is a good couple of minutes too long.

you've spent the last five mins greetin bout it

We've stormed through the four ballot mark, and indeed have got all the way to five. Now for the next target, which is ninety.

It's been a day of consolidation - no new votes, but otoh we haven't lost any either.

I'm struggling to remember anything. What happened in 2012?

'Arry went to court. RVP scored some volleys. City-QPR. Gary Neville's orgasm. Hazard acted like a dick and then ended up playing for a rafa benetiz side. Paneckas. Pirlo. Russian fans acted like dicks in Poland. Capello defended a racist cos he's Italian and they do that I guess. etc. etc. etc.

League: Spurs got within inches of the top, then collapsed when Arry pondered the England job that was never offered to him. City looked odds on, then collapsed. United opened up an unassailable lead, then contrived to have it assailed. City went into the final day knowing it was almost impossible for them to avoid winning the league, then did their best to avoid winning the league. Then won it in injury time.

Milk Cup: Liverpool eventually beat Cardiff.

FA Cup: my mind is completely blank.

Gary Neville's orgasm

Oh God - Chelsea won the European Cup, didn't they? How the fuck did that happen?

http://i.minus.com/ibrbOoRe6fTRMf.gif

What happened in 2012?

Rangers died. Many lols were had in the process.

Why can't I remember the FA Cup? I feel like the last five or six seasons are all merged into one in my head. I'm reasonably sure Chelsea won it.

The trauma of losing to LFC?

Andy Carroll won it, it's the record books that are wrong

Was it Chelsea v Spurs in the semi with the goal that never crossed the line?

5-1 iirc. You beat City in the third round iirc too, only to be slaughtered thoroughly by Liverpool in the fourth.

Interesting winners in all the major leagues except Spain, and even that was sort of interesting. Pretty good Euros, Mexico won the Olympics. Inzaghi retired, Del Piero sort of did.

christ that gif is the best gif i hope it's on the relevant thread already

rangers TOTY obv!

Oh, here comes Ronaldo to join us after all

shouldve voted for suarez as team of the year too

http://imageshack.us/a/img11/5205/01lionelmessi.jpg

1. Lionel Messi

iirc dalglish had 11 suarezes playing vs wigan

Thanks for putting this together Ismael!

did anyone not vote for messi

http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m6at0oTosG1qcod9po4_250.gif

yeah nice to have a terse poll in this era of 600 best clownstep records etc

I gave Ronaldo the trophy anyway. He seems pleased enough with it - he says Messi's got plenty that should've been his, so...

http://img4.joyreactor.com/pics/post/gif-jews-cristiano-ronaldo-soccer-249614.gif

thats the good grace weve come to expect from el ron hubbard

And the bill only came to sixteen quid. The benefits of a night out in the north.

last benefit night out in the north was for conor wickham's dog

Those numbers in full:

PLAYER

47 Lionel Messi
35 Luis Suarez
31 Radamel Falcao
13 Andrea Pirlo
10 Robin van Persie
09 Zlatan Ibrahimovic
08 Cristiano Ronaldo
07 Bradley Wiggins
07 Sergio Aguero
07 Fernando Torres

06 Steven Fletcher
05 Iker Casillas
05 Sandro
04 Giorgio Chiellini
04 Mario Gotze
03 Andres Iniesta
03 David Silva
03 Nikita Jelavic
03 Alan Dzagoev
03 Mikel Arteta

02 Marouane Fellaini
02 Arturo Vidal
02 Derek Mkhitarian
02 Toni Kroos
02 Shinji Kagawa

TEAM

44 Borussia Dortmund
27 Spain
15 Juventus
15 Atletico Madrid
14 Swansea City
13 Liverpool (includes votes for "Rodgers' Liverpool", for "Being: Liverpool", and for "Luis Suarez")
12 Bayern Munich
11 Montpellier
10 Athletic Bilbao
07 Shakhtar Donetsk

07 Real Madrid
07 Manchester United
05 Newcastle United
05 Tottenham Hotspur
04 Reading
04 Croatia
04 Barcelona
02 Fluminense
02 Celtic
02 Chelsea

ROTTER

40 John Terry
19 Alex Ferguson
14 Mark Hughes
12 Luis Suarez
11 Roman Abramovich
07 Paolo di Canio
07 Mark Lawrenson
07 Andy Carroll
06 Harry Redknapp
05 William Gallas

05 Cesc Fabregas
05 Joey Barton
04 Sepp Blatter and Fifa
04 Ivan Gazidis
04 Joe Hart
04 Gervinho
03 Giovanni Trappatoni
03 Alex McLeish
02 Joachim Low
02 Luka Modric

02 Fabrice Muamba

no defenders? Blinded by glamour just like all the rest

lol what the fuck is 'Derek Mkhitarian'

hat tip to whoever that was anyway

Chiellini's a defender but we are the epl's children at heart

Okay, I got lazy and didn't look up all the first names

poty
 
messi
ibrahimovic
falcao
van persie
kagawa
 
toty
 
spain
atletico madrid
croatia
swansea
real madrid
 
roty
 
carroll
fabregas
gazidis
mcleish
löw 

Henrikh Mkhitarian, I was nearly right as well!

07 Manchester United

21, Klata, as well you know - you'll be hearing from Nasty, Brutish & Short (my lawyers) in the morning

that reminds me of when some impish wire reporter called artemidoros dzagoev 'alan dzagoev' and somehow nobody noticed

that's the wire for you

Player:

> Lionel Messi
> Radamel Falcao
> Zlatan Ibrahimovic
> Alan Dzagoev
> Henrikh Mkhitarian

> Team:

> Borussia Dortmund
> Shakhtar Donetsk
> Bayern Munich
> Atletico Madrid
> Fluminense

> Rotter:

> Paolo di Canio
> John Terry
> Roman Abramovic
> Giovanni Trapattoni
> Luka Modric

Struggled with the rotters.

explain me di canio

haha "Derek Mkhitarian" has been cracking me up all day

http://www.bible-history.com/archaeology/rome/roman-fasces-1.jpg

vidal is a good pick if one must be too cool for pirlo

in calendar year terms kagawa & gotze are easily bested tho imo - reus and lewandowski?

jogi low an excellent pick for rotter too

yet again the powers that be fail to punish ashley young for a year of cuntery

voted kagawa for reaching the highest level of any asian player in europe so far

i don't think i've hated a Utd player as much since the heyday of Kieron Richardson

uh, Ashley Young that is

if only Ravel Morrison had stuck it out

xxxp oh word i must have missed the "token" category

Ravel has been getting good notices for Birmingham lately

who was so displeased by joe hart this year

yeah but once you get past the top few in every category, there are like a couple dozen or more at a fairly similar level

i tend to hold a candle for east asian and ex-ussr players but sharivari had the latter category covered by the looks of it

xps, di Canio / Tehoue incident stuck in the memory for some reason.

i mean it's not like i voted for dong fangzhuo or something

Player: Suarez, Messi, Falcao,
Team: Athletic Bilbao, Spain, Liverpool under Rodgers,
Rotter: Ferguson, Terry, Joe Hart.

who was so displeased by joe hart this year

He looks like the boy from Love, Actually, and "best goalkeeper in the world" nonsense.

yeah hart is a reasonable choice but again a bit too dependent on the execrable discourse around hart than the peroxided farmboy himself

liverpool under rodgers, team of the year. ohhh-kay.

it's about the philosophy, man

poty - messi, casillas, ronaldo, pirlo, falcao
toty - Juve, Bayern, Dortmund, Spain, Shakhtar

didn't vote for rotters, tho howard webb would've been on there somewhere.

Flights Ushuaia-Newcastle
Amazing prices with LAN. Save Now! Flying Ushuaia-Newcastle
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I'm just reading the Guardian Football site and wtf at this google ad tucked down the bottom! I can only think that this thread's been logged, processed and cross-processed in some industrial unit in Palo Alto, and this is what it's come up with as my key demographic need.

newcastle > paris > buenos aires > ushuaia apparently

round trip of just under four grand for that special christmas

I wonder if that ticket has ever been booked, in fact?

Graham Carr maybe?

heh