Luis Suárez controversy: 10 incidents that have caused outrage

probably Henry out of these but tbh no Toni Schumacher no credibility

........

Nah, still carroll, for all it represents.

^ yes (to nv)

They're all pretty bad. I suppose Suarez v Ghana is different in a way, in that he knew he was going to get sent off (and did) - it was ultra-cynical and unsporting, but not an act of deception. The Reading one is the most astonishing.

yeah, Suarez vs Ghana was one of those where if i was supporting his team i'd be okay with that, the equivalent of a professional foul, can't really blame him for doing it. guys going to ground clutching their faces is a lot worse, but i think what sets the seal on Henry's little nudge is the woeful implosion of a French team that shdn't have been at the tournament in the first place

suarez's handball for uruguay was amazing. silenced all the stupid patronising commentary bullshit. not like the ghana team weren't diving all over the place in the lead up either. not just saying that cos he plays for liverpool btw, the archives will prove this. the missed penalty and abreu's amazing conversion just were the icing on that particular cake. it's not as if uruguay were some hated wprld cup favourite, as they were subsequently treated.

yah suarez can only be admired for his chutzpah there

if anything it's more existence's fault than his cos that shit just isn't supposed to come off

truly he is the dream shatterer

it's not as if uruguay were some hated wprld cup favourite, as they were subsequently treated.

― Heterocyclic ring ring (LocalGarda), Tuesday, 8 January 2013 12:55 (29 seconds ago) Bookmark

eh idk though arent they forever seen as dirty violent gits, never to the extent of impinging on general admiration but still

historically, i guess so. in that wc i remember mostly being delighted by them.

once whoever it was (tyldsley or champion?) roared "bafanabafanagollllllll!" in an accent in the first game I wanted all the african nations to be out asap.

harsh but fair

if your club signs a uruguayan cb or dm you know ur licking your lips at whats in store

unless it's seb coates turning out to be a big harmless doofus

like the way rodgers was seduced by the idea of a urugayan at the back, initially. then he played against mansfield on sunday and it was like you'd forgotten he existed.

Dida caused enough outrage to warrant his own thread of indignation (not even by a Celtic fan either...). It was more comical than anything else, tbf, though the barrage of "omfg they're going to kick us out of Europe" in the immediate aftermath wasn't. Most of these are hilarious or o_O, but Bilic was just nasty, so that.

Rivaldo - Anyone who votes for this deserves a slap, it is the choice of terrible pious Martin Samuel bores. This is just lol really, because it's so blatant, and that Rivaldo tried it more than once.

Henry - probably the actual worst given that France really didn't deserve to be in the World Cup in any way. Also, it's Henry.

Suarez - this is pretty shitty.

Reading - comedy ineptness from the ref and nothing more. Kind of mindboggling to think back on.

Carroll - this still annoys me to this day.

Bilic - this is top three shitty probably.

Suarez vs Ghana - this is so blatant I couldn't vote for it, but it wouldn't have mattered had Gyan not fucked up the penalty.

Adriano - always annoying when players do this.

Dida - never seen this

Busquets - h8 Busqets but nah.

why isn't maradona in the list?

fucking guardian, seriously

There's loads of things missing, the last couple feel like space-filler really. Presumably dude who wrote it started watching football in 2002.

rivaldo doesn't really feel like an injustice of any kind, but it did/does make me think he's a fucking idiot.

i mean in terms of how stupid you'd have to be to do that.

pwhats difft about clutching yr face vs carroll pretending he'd saved that shot?

I find the 'moral' judgements around these things v interesting, tbh- not wrt that specifically lg, just the 'bad' cheating vs all the other cheating that happens.

Once you take actual physical damage out of it, everything else is p much on a level for me.

It's what Rivaldo's remembered for, is his karma for that.

pwhats difft about clutching yr face vs carroll pretending he'd saved that shot?

carroll got away with it, and at least could fool the ref. rivaldo's dive was like what a 5-year-old would do. it's not a moral judgement i'm making, it's as i say: what an idiot.

Dida thing below. I love how he starts chasing the wee arsehole then thinks maybe if he pretends to be dead his team won't have lost the match.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1LwL-xw7Zyk

did the ref punish rivaldo on the spot or was it retroactive?

retroactive iirc

kinda feel like the rivaldo/dida/busquets stuff is worst cos it's not simply cynical opportunism within a phase of play but relatively premeditated actions entirely off their own bat

slight i know but salient imo

pure refereeing pratfalls are a different strata of helpless outrage entirely and i can't really blame carroll/reading for not owning up

Re-reading the Dida thread reminded me of this, which is next-level bawbaggery:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roberto_Rojas#1989_World_Cup_Qualifying_Incident

Rivaldo - what a dick
Henry - made worse by him getting all contrite a couple of days later
Suarez v Mansfield - was accidental hence technically not a foul, even if you'd expect to see it given
Reading - hilarious example of the ref's decision must always, always be final
Carroll - why couldn't someone else have been the beneficiary? Hilarious though for him turning down a new contract days before; now he plays in Greece.
Bilic - this is the worst because FIFA didn't overturn it when they easily could've. Now Franck LeBoeuf won the world cup.
Suarez v Ghana - one of the greatest things that's ever happened, come on. Him acting all innocent when the ref identified him is the icing on the cake, Gyan missing was the hundreds & thousands, Suarez's celebration the big fat cherry on top. Abreu - yeah, that stuff should never work out quite so perfectly.
Adriano - rendered beautiful by the Shakhtar defender intervening unilaterally to prevent Nordsjælland tapping in an equaliser
Dida - hold on, a pitch invader tries to give him a slap, and Dida's the bad guy? The suffering I wish on the ned in question
Busquets - meh

btw adriano getting a one match ban for scoring a goal is some straight bs imo

xxxp i guess that suggests i think bilic is more off the hook than busquets... maybe i do idk

thats what i thought, so tbh i disagree. both conned the ref (arguable with rivaldo, the ref could well have taken the action he did just for kickin the ball at rivaldo like that, regardless of where it hit him) one without any consequense whatsoever and one that materially changes the result of a match.

That the respective bodies chose to act in punishment in one case but not another doesn't alter much, imo

Dida - hold on, a pitch invader tries to give him a slap, and Dida's the bad guy? The suffering I wish on the ned in question

They're both idiots. Dida got himself stretchered off ffs.

just the mentality behind rivaldo's is particularly appalling imo, never mind its inconsequence or the pathetically comedic execution

The Reading thing always reminds me of the Partick Thistle v Dundee Utd one a few years back where Dundee United scored (ball rattled round the stanchion and came out), a Partick player then PICKS UP THE BALL to move on and restart the game, and the referee (Les Mottram) ignores the goal, ignores what would be a pretty blatant handball if there hadn't been a goal, and waves play on. Just completely ridiculously inept officialdom imo.

I can't find a copy of that Dida vs Mohammed Ali photoshop :(

don't really buy the argument with rivaldo that he has a vague entitlement to ensure sanction for the mildly hard kick

i get what rtc sez about premeditated, i maybe feel the same in a slight way about whether the target has done anything to piss the nominee off- yerman kicked a ball at rivaldo, ah fuckim ya i'll try and get him sent off, the cunt. fair enough.

got it

http://file032.bebo.com/3/large/2007/10/05/23/787100820a5742759608l.jpg

ha xp

Dida was stretchered off for an unrelated gastro-enteritic problem

aye he saw a Glesga Bhoy and shat it

the suarez 'handball' shouldnt be anywhere near this list tbh

agreed - it just a fucking handball, refs don't call them all, don't see them all, and are inconsistent with what constitutes intention or unnatural position

Which one of you lot has been at Dida's Wiki entry?

During his tenure with the Rossoneri, he became equally known for mistakes as well as excellent gameplay, from a notorious error during a UEFA Champions League match against Leeds United in September 2000, to suffering a lengthy decline in form after being hit with a lit flare in a Champions League quarter-final match against crosstown rival Inter Milan in April 2005, and being tapped on the shoulder by an opposing fan during an October 2007 match with Celtic.

there is no way on god's earth that Suarez' handball at Mansfield was "accidental", unless he experienced a sudden muscle spasm that made his arm move out to the ball and guide it into the goal

i mean i know you're wearing your red-tinted specs Ismael but come the funk on

Is it though? Point-blank range, what more could he've done?

Just as well I didn't mention that I've got doubts about the Ghana one too.

he stabbed his arm at the ball! it didn't ping back and hit him where his hand happened to be at some bizarro angle!!

only doubts about the Ghana one is that a good keeper would've caught it

If there were penalty goals, would your Cuellars and Suarezes still deserve a red card or even a booking?

ffs will ye two post more pls?

I take it that was an xp

i never, ever understand why ppl complain about punishment not matching the offence. THEN DON'T FUCKIN CHEAT?????

surely the whole point is that there's no logic to a defender preventing a goal/clear chance if it really is going to cost his team more over the course of the match. Suarez otm tho.

xp it was, but you post some more an all while i'm at it pls

I think I'm against the concept of penalty goals, for some still-slightly-unformed reason of needing the ball to actually go into the net to justify the blessed relief and the jumping up and down. I understand this is not a strong argument.

I wish FIFA / UEFA (can't reember which) hadn't prevented the Football League / Premier League (can't remember which) from implementing the proposed rule where the denial of a clear goalscoring opportunity led to a penalty, even outside the box. Always thought that was a good 'un, better than a sending off for the same offence.

yeah i'd go for that- and i agree about ball-in-net

eliminate the penalty box as anything but a gk-handling zone, maybe?

remember that dribble-unopposed-from-halfway-line thing they floated in 2000/1? Gave you ten seconds to score or something?

Make penalties harder imo. In fact, give the taker a choice - take a shot normally from the eighteen-yard line, or take a backheel from six.

leave everything as it is?

Aye, the penalty goal thing needs some thought, but it was pretty obvious, to take the Cuellar one as an example, that Nakamura's shot was going in had Cuellar not put it over, so to ask someone to then go up against a real keeper in a different type of situation seems a bit unfair when someone else had pretty much socred. I think definition of denial of obvious goal-scoring opportunity needs some tightening up, to be fair. And, aye, send him off an' all. Net result would then be the same as if Scott MacDonald could actually score a penalty.

Dribbling from halfway line = pishy half-time entertainment from fat blokes and kids afaic. Not for real footballers.

Was that "post more" to me? I barely watch any football these days. I just like moaning about past injustices.

Yeah I know xp. But it'd be good, infuriating fun if a completely arbitrary rule were dropped in, say, one in ten times - the dribbly thing, or a corner taken at an unguarded net with the keeper rushing back from outside the box, or some wackier stuff at the ref's whim without warning.

I still think an eighteen-yard rule would spice up a shoot-out nicely though.

But it'd be good, infuriating fun if a completely arbitrary rule were dropped in, say, one in ten times - the dribbly thing, or a corner taken at an unguarded net with the keeper rushing back from outside the box, or some wackier stuff at the ref's whim without warning

I think they have this in the secret referee rulebook in Scotland already tbh.

I think I'm against the concept of penalty goals, for some still-slightly-unformed reason of needing the ball to actually go into the net to justify the blessed relief and the jumping up and down. I understand this is not a strong argument.

How about you get a penalty but the goalkeeper has to be outside the 18-yard box when you take it?

That's a dream scenario for the makers of "blooper" videos.

Suarez/Cuellar type saves probably happen like once every 100 matches, I don't think this is an area of the rules screaming for change tbh

Saw some blokes in the pub a couple of years back with tshirts made up - "commentator's eye" on the front and one of the other phrases (possibly "he's got tae go, he's got tae get tae fuck") on the back.

this rules

Ivanovic plays a blind backpass towards Turnball. Graham pounces, rounds the keeper on the right, and belts the ball home! What a finish!

for handball-on-line/last-man offences, give the defending team's captain the choice of:

free-kick/penalty at goalkeeper + red card
free-kick/penalty at unguarded net + yellow card

^^^foolproof

would be especially amazing if the offence occurred, say, 50 yards from goal, slightly to one side

would also be great every time a team opted for red and the penalty/fk went in anyway

the potentials for entertainment are limitless

Timing and current score would be key. If it's 1-1 and there's less than 10 minutes to go you take the unguarded net. Anything more than 25 minutes to go I think you'd prefer the extra man and the chance with the penalty. In between that it's a tough call imo.

oh I meant the defending side getting the choice

would be even better if the last-man foul had been committed BY the captain, outside the box

defending side's mistake = attacker's choice imo

Before making the choice the defending team's captain rolls two dice (in close-up on the big screen) - if he throws a double-six, the man who was through on goal gets sent off and the defending team get the penalty

ah sure listen this is getting ridiculous

any last man foul by a defender on a player of a different ethnicity to be decided by race war

Penalty and red card awarded as per usual, but the taker chooses one of three balls to hit - two of which are normal, but the third disintegrates on impact like those comedy golf balls

one normal ball, one disintegrator, one made of concrete

a celebrity football fan such as james corden or nesbitt acts as video ref at every game.

making me laugh out loud in the office is not cool guys, kind of difficult to explain

Good idea LG. This all happens in context of his presenting a live show with studio audience. He has to work the crowd while making decisions, and there's no replays - he decides from the live feed only. Decisions are communicated by the studio audience shouting in unison over the tannoy.

Postponed games to be decided by Paul Merson, Charlie Nicholas, Phil Thomson et al commentating on them as if they were taking place anyway

For Xmas / Easter Bank Holiday fixtures the panel gets replaced by Paul Merton, Paul Nicholcas and John Thomson.

Godamnit I was just about to make that joke

said Paul Nicholas

I bet you were going to spell "Nicholas" correctly as well.

xpost

guys I was talking practical sense and now look, next you'll be saying teams cannot name substitutes and in the case of injury, a random member of the crowd is selected to play

Only if they are wearing a replica shirt matching the strip the team is wearing in that game. Ker-CHING.

Nonsense, in that case the right to take the place will be auctioned on-pitch among the club's celebrity fans. Delia or Stephen Fry, Mick Hucknall or Mani, etc. Piers Morgan vs the corpse of Osama Bin Laden.

Penalty choice:
a) standard 12 yard penalty vs standard keeper
b) 18 yarder vs Patrick Kielty
c) half way line vs empty net with a feature on Soccer AM every week on people who fuck it up and hit the crossbar

Good idea LG. This all happens in context of his presenting a live show with studio audience. He has to work the crowd while making decisions, and there's no replays - he decides from the live feed only. Decisions are communicated by the studio audience shouting in unison over the tannoy.

I like your dice idea however a six-sided dice is likely to mean too many cases of the man being sent off and the penalty awarded.

I'd say four twenty-sided die are needed here.

If the number is a prime number = roll again.

Four numbers the same = each member of the opposition team is given a yellow card.

Four twenties = full house - the roller's team wins the match 80-0.

60-70 = Terry's Call - John Terry is contacted to adjudicate.

50-60 = #Locallads - A hashtag trends among hometown fans of both sides, one tweeter is given the chance to make a potentially crucial refereeing call.

66 = any living members of the 1966 World Cup team are contacted, at a special booth in which they are stored during games.

A 10 plus a 66 and any other numbers = Battle Of Hastings - Great political mediators of our time such as General John de Chastelain, George Mitchell, and BBC foreign correspondent John Simpson, are contacted to resolve the dispute. The game is adjourned for a six-week televised negotiation process, chaired by Jeremy Vine.

1-50 = Roll again

I've got my die/dice crossed but you get the idea.

Just a glance at this thread shows the FA's total reluctance to use some basic common sense!

After each roll the number thrown is retired and replaced by the next number up. Eventually the dice grow so large to accommodate the inflated figures that they are indinguishable from regulation size 5 footballs. Only then is the penalty awarded, which is taken in the normal fashion but by kicking the dice. If anyone encroaches, the process is repeated.

this is why people who truly love the game need to be in charge

you'll never see it brought in under a coalition govt

Lack of systems thinking, I reckon.

you'll never see it brought in under a coalition govt

What if we made the die from flattened Ronseal tins and followed exactly what it said on them?

that's the kind of fresh thinking and self motivation that'll make britain great again

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