Los Premios Más Valiosos: the ILF Awards 2013

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Limping into our second year like we have Mark Hughes in charge: welcome to the ILF Awards 2013.

There are three categories:

• player of the year;
• team of the year; and
• fool of the year (which replaces rotter of the year; rotters of course may be voted for)

Anyone in the entire world of football is eligible. You get up to five votes in each category, with points awarded 7-5-4-3-2. Send your ballots to the usual address: ismaelklata at gmail dot com. The deadline is Tuesday 17 December.

In a sop to our cooler members, and because frankly last year was a struggle, if you don't do email you may post your ballot to this thread and I'll delete it as soon as I see it. But email is obviously better.

I haven't fixed the gala dinner awards ceremony yet, but it'll be on Wednesday and liveblogged itt. Sadly first choice The Palace in New Malden has a function on that night, but I've taken the precaution of booking a table for twenty there for next year.

Now get on it.

Might do this this year.

I have voted. Looking forward to seeing whether Nile Ranger returns for the awards ceremony.

voted :D

Sent

Just realised the Swansea ballboy was 2013, this changes everything

Got five ballots now, need probably five more please.

I'll get one in before the end of the day

Last day for voting and we're stuck on five. Regretting booking the O2 now.

Decidely unexciting and Anglocentric ballot submitted.

^ an example to us all

My attitude to deadlines is p much always contemptuous begrudged offerings such as just offered. Also h8 lists.

These awards can accommod8 h8, it's cool

Lol youve not read it yet so

Seven ballots received, and Artur Boruc nowhere. Literally any one of you could still make a big difference.

Anybody else? Let me have something by morning, or forever hold your piece.

Sunderland must be a shout for toty after that

Righto, let's start this up. Apathy Austerity means the gala dinner has been cancelled, Reginald D Hunter sent home, and instead we are I'm being hosted by the Caffe Nero round the corner from my work.

TEAM OF THE YEAR

we start with a tie for fifth:

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5. Borussia Dortmund

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5. Bosnia and Herzegovina

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4. Atletico Madrid

I guess this must've been the early voters:

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3. Arsenal

and this must've been the late ones:

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2. Manchester United

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1. Bayern Munich

did you get my mail

worthy winner.

Unfortunately Bayern Munich can't be with us this afternoon, given that they're out in Morocco winning the World Club Cup. They have assured us that there's one space left in their trophy room, and will be honoured to give this trucker's hat pride of place.

xps I haven't got your mail, no - but reading between the lines I think that means 1. Manchester United?

I'm off up to the counter for a latte, bear with me

Bayern and Dortmund demolishing Barca and Real in the CL semis was such a great week for football. I know both teams went big this summer to try and get back the rep they lost then (and hell, they were still both CL semi finalists with most of the best players in the world) but it felt like something changed and Bayern and BVB were the genuine teams of the year.

Terrible scenes at the counter as big ron garbles his lines and tries to order a tall mulatto in earshot of patrick vieira, didier drogba and lennox lewis

big Reg in the presence of Clarke Carlisle

FOOL OF THE YEAR

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5. Ellis Short and Paolo di Canio

There was also a vote for Niall Quinn. Not sure what that was for exactly, but he appears to be blameless in that particular fiasco so fifth-place is shared between those two only.

bit of a logjam in the top echelons of this award:

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2. David Moyes

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2. Luis Suarez

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2. Sepp Blatter

There can be only one

oh shit i forgot di canio

you know it, I know it, he definitely knows it:

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1. Michael Dawson

Harsh on Daws, tbh.

One voter in particular might like to reflect on what he's done, that's all I'm saying

You'd've thought avb would've cruised to this, but it seems ILF empathy is still stopping those fingers a-pointin'

Assumed that was a joke. Still awaiting suarez.

No such thing as a joke here. These awards keep it real.

Somewhere in the audience AVB loosens his collar and wipes his brow before signalling to the waiter for another glass of complimentary champers. He downs one and grabs two more.

Michael Dawson: "It's obviously an honour but I can't take the credit alone. I'd like to thank the gaffer for helping me to win this award - and he'd like to thank the fans, the medical staff, Neil Ashton and Martin Samuel, and his relationship with Levy."

PLAYER OF THE YEAR

a couple of young prospects tying for fifth in this category too:

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5. Robin van Persie

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5. Gareth Bale

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4. Philipp Lahm

I have idea what any of that means, I just hope that gesture isn't nswf

wait i know ive been a bit out of the loop but what foolish activity did michael dawson do this year?

Apparently he wins by virtue of being not very good at football.

Defended like a clown but he's not exactly Nile Ranger.

taking his customary place at these things:

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3. Zlatan Ibrahimovic

But wait! What's this? Joint winners??!!

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1. Luis Suarez

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1. Cristiano Ronaldo

Messi's reign of terror is over, comrades

Some terrific pic selections there IK.

fwiw:

Player of the year:

1. Cristiano Ronaldo
2. Lionel Messi
3. Ronaldinho
4. Zlatan Ibrahimovic
5. Paul Pogba

Team of the year:

1. Bayern Munich
2. Atletico Minero
3. Bosnia and Herzegovina
4. Atletico Madrid
5. Chornomorets Odesa

Fool of the year:

1. Nile Ranger
2. Paolo di Canio
3. Niall Quinn
4. Sepp Blatter
5. Gigi Becali

Yours was really similar to mine. I wrote mine down when I did the OP, then it was a bit odd getting yours immediately after.

Player of the year:

Ronaldo
Suarez
Lahm
Zlatan
Pogba

Team of the year:

Bayern
Atletico
Bosnia
Arsenal
Belgium

Fool of the year:

Ferguson
Blatter
Tam
Jol
Mourinho

Can't find my email but i think mine were

Player of the year:
Lahm
Ronaldo
Ribery
Suarez
Vidal

Team of the year:
Bayern
Atleti
Bosnia and Herzegovina
Liverpool Ladies
FC Nantes

Fool of the year:
Mark Halsey

annoyed i never watched enough of juve. vidal pogba pirlo midfield seems like sam bait.

Tevez as well. Just beautiful to watch when they click.

wish i'd voted now, wd've got Fergie into the top 5 Fools

FULL RESULTS

25 Cristiano Ronaldo **
25 Luis Suarez **
18 Zlatan Ibrahimovic *
11 Philipp Lahm *
07 Gareth Bale *
07 Robin van Persie *
05 Lionel Messi
05 Mesut Özil
05 Hugo Lloris
05 Sergio Agüero
04 Paul Pogba
04 Ronaldinho
04 Isco
04 Franck Ribery
04 Christian Benteke
04 Lewis Holtby
04 Michael Carrick
03 Per Mertesacker
02 Mario Götze
02 Arturo Vidal
02 Aaron Ramsey
02 Jan Vertonghen
02 Andy Murray

28 Bayern Munich ***
21 Manchester United *
15 Arsenal *
13 Atletico Madrid
12 Bosnia
12 Borussia Dortmund *
11 various Spurs
10 Southampton *
07 Gareth Bale
05 Atletico Mineiro
04 Everton
03 Nantes
03 QPR
02 Belgium
02 Chornomorets Odessa
02 PSG
02 Liverpool Ladies
02 Sunderland

14 Michael Dawson
10 Sepp Blatter
10 Luis Suarez *
10 David Moyes *
09 Ellis Short and Paolo di Canio
08 Vincent Tam
07 Alex Ferguson
07 Nile Ranger *
07 Ashley Young *
07 Mark Halsey *
07 Andre Villas-Boas *
07 Kyle Walker *
05 Martin Jol
05 Gary Flitcroft
05 Assem Allam
04 Niall Quinn
02 Jose Mourinho
02 Gigi Becali

Thanks to all who voted (all eight of you). Apologies to Michael Dawson.

And that's 30,000 posts - special Diamond Award for Ismael Klata.

What do the asterisks symbolise?

First places. And you can call off Messrs Nasty, Brutish & Short this year.

Ah, that explains the improbably high standing of Man Utd

Love full lists, love odesa outing sharivari before scrolling to dn