things i didn't say at the record store

no, INXS records are not the hardest records to find. How often do you look for them? Just buy them online. stop coming in here once every six months and asking me if i have any. you can buy their entire catalog on CD online for about 10 dollars + shipping and handling. you could even get their first 6 albums on vinyl and pay around....i dunno, a hundred and something. and you probably only want the swing, listen like thieves, and kick anyway. so, 60 bucks + shipping for nice copies? but it's fun to find them "in the wild". right? but...i mean...don't you ever want to listen to them? just buy them already and then i won't ever need to see you because apparently they are the only band you are interested in. because you never ever buy anything else in my well-stocked record store.

I get people like this at my table at every show I do

although usually it is more "specific genre x" than one band

actually the part about buying them online i did say and i also said that they could have them on their doorstep TOMORROW. it still didn't work. because they want to find them for 50 cents or some shit like that? idiots...

"do you have an african psych section?" that one always cracks me up. what am i Other Music? and if i was Other Music i would still not have one because i would be out of business.

i love when people say "i don't want to buy it online i'd rather give you the money" because it is always said by someone who has never ever given me money.

this thread can be for customers too! say what you wanted to say to that no-good scrubby beardo behind the counter.

I'm giving this store the worst possible rating: Very Good

"Jesus, get that fucking kid out of here!"

dropping shit on the floor...

*ring ring ring*

"record store!"
"ya'll buy records?"
"where are you?"
"Dresden"
"Germany?"
"Tennessee"
"Oh. You should call some of the big Knoxville stores. They have all the money. Good luck!"

i said all that so i don't know why i'm posting it here...

Best thread ever.

I get people like this at my table at every show I do

― out-of-print LaserDisc edition (sleeve), Wednesday

never understood the people that do this, just march up to the table, dont even glance at the boxes, and go "DO YOU HAVE ANY ALICE COOPER??" Like, you came all the way out, you've got the records right in front of you at your fingertips - flip through for a minute, enjoy yourself!

there was a picture disc guy who used to do this at the local shows. GOT ANY PICTURE DISCS??? go to next table. GOT ANY PICTURE DISCS. repeat. all day.

wow you are really inspecting those ONE DOLLAR records very very carefully. can never be too careful. and when i see you agonizing over a ONE DOLLAR purchase i start to think: maybe i should just get rid of all the dollar records. you know what, i think that's what i'll do. not that i have anything against people who want dollar records. i love dollar records! and unlike some places, my dollar records are clean. which you know because you have been here a million times. and not because i want to be snooty and price people out who are on a budget. no, i'm going to get rid of them because i literally can't watch you hold a dollar record up to the light one more time in my life. it pains me.

oh god yes

again I bet every store/seller has one of these types

he found a friend! they are both on the ground and i can hear them but i can't see them. i did hear one of them say: "I mean for a dollar i'll take a chance..."

sometimes you have to be bold and take chances in life!

“Can you shut up and die already, you Gordon Ramsey looking motherfucker, I’m trying to browse and I really don’t want to hear you loudly brag about all the cool records you found last week or in 1991 or whatever”

as a customer, these days the only time i'm tempted to grumble a snarky comment is when i'm in the biggest vinyl shop in my city, where aside from the owner the staff is all hip kids in their 20s. and literally every time i'm in there, i can see that they're listening to Spotify over the store PA, not records. i'm not a fascist about formats but i always want to say "seriously? you cant find a few records you might want to play in this big ol store?"

wow I was under the impression that rule #1 of a store was "never play anything that's not there for sale"

"FREE YOURSELF! You don't actually have to stand next to him while he shops for records. There is a park down the street. A lovely boutique next door. And around the corner is the saturday farmer's market! Lots of things to see. He can call you when he's done. Just please promise that you won't let him hand you records to hold for him while he shops. Because I might have to actually pop the next guy who does that in the snoot. He doesn't hold your stuff for you at your favorite...uh...lady store, does he? I should say not. We have books here. Look at some books! Here is one about relationships in the 21st century. Kidding. On second thought, just RUN!"

Why do you have so few used records and so many reissues of widely available records?

I took my mom to Amoeba once. As I was paying she asked the clerk if I had good taste. What's he gonna say? "Nah this stuff sucks"

lol

DId she ask your friends about you when you were growing up?

my window is all books now. just felt like it. it's summer! that's how you know a record store is cool. when their window is full of books.

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https://scontent-lga3-2.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t39.30808-6/358529043_10161322340742137_1378366645273324171_n.jpg?_nc_cat=101&ccb=1-7&_nc_sid=730e14&_nc_ohc=kMC9ECCkIdAAX8tv1-I&_nc_ht=scontent-lga3-2.xx&oh=00_AfBv2TUhVMQ6GZ1pqjNSbMynv969B2SOG-TY1MtrHarf0Q&oe=64AE59CB

"you should put that record down and look at the records in the racks with two hands. its way easier that way. one-handed with a full row of records is kind of a dumb way to see things. in my opinion."

there. needed to get that off my chest.

my partner INSISTS on holding my records for me when we’re record shopping and I feel like such a poop

Why do you have so few used records and so many reissues of widely available records?

― il lavoro mi rovina la giornata (PBKR)

because used records (especially desirable ones) are increasingly hard to find, afaict

this is something i'm not supposed to say to people. here goes. i LOVE being in my store when nobody is here. hahaha! i am worst capitalist!

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i bet so many dudes have farted in that little place

cute girl bought a youth of today record today. #connecticutstraightedgehardcorewillneverdie

wow I was under the impression that rule #1 of a store was "never play anything that's not there for sale"

― out-of-print LaserDisc edition (sleeve), Friday, 7 July 2023 20:36 bookmarkflaglink

hate this! I was in a record shop last year and they were playing a Yummy Fur LP. I was like oh how much is this I want this record and they were like oh this our copy sorry. don't play it in the shop then you bastards lol

“I will now sell five copies of The Three EPs by the Beta Band.”

i still listen to beta band but i take it off in the store if someone comes in. i used to get self-conscious if someone came in and i was playing cliche record store stuff. velvet underground. beach boys. or the two most revered rock bands in the world according to the lame-ass people who come into my store: zed lep and fink ployd.

sometimes i will get caught playing something that is actually mine and very rarely someone will ask me if its for sale and i just make up a really high price. sold a few good records that way! they called my bluff!

hi scott please don't stop posting, I very much enjoy this thread and your revived presence on the board, don't let one person's misplaced anger put you off

I learned about I Was the President's Mistress!! from this fantastic thread

xpost - agreed!

yes

guy comes in and stands in front of me and says: "Jazz".

and i say: "uhhhhhhhh, okay. you want some?"

"Jazz".

"Dude, what the..."

"Bill Evans. Steve Allen. Got any? Chet Baker. I have lots of records. I'll probably just give them to you. I'm getting old. I don't listen to jazz anymore. Got any Steve Allen?"

"Wait, you have records with you?"

"No, I live in New York State..."

"Our jazz is by the window there."

He looks for one minute then turns and says really loudly: "WELP, NOTHIN'!" And then he shrugs his shoulders in a really exaggerated and broad way like he's in a silent movie.

He leaves without another word and then I say: "What the fuck?" "Fuck you, you fucking weirdo."

Then I go about my business.

ShopGPT

I feel I need to make a pilgrimage to this store and ask you where the 90's IDM section is and watch you twitch

some of these stories remind me of Daffer, this beloved Minneapolis record store dude. Daffer was, you know, a little different and also suffered from severe narcolepsy.

he was forever going through the bargain records (which were in bins on the floor underneath the main racks) and delivering his signature catch phrase "Why so expensive?", then his narcolepsy would kick in and he would take a snooze on the floor of the store. Everyone know the deal so you'd just gingerly step around him and let him take a little nap. then, he'd wake up like nothing happened and keep browsing.

(this was at Treehouse Records mostly, which was the newer name of the legendary Replacement/Husker daze institution Oar Folkjokeapus)

i think you both made a little jazz there

You know how they say music is largely the notes you don't play?

Maybe the moral of the story is that a record store is largely the records you don't have

Lol

i have a guy now who has just been reeling off names of things i don't have for the last hour and a half. "You know what I don't see? Parliament. Parliament/Funkadelic? Huh. Is it somewhere that I'm not seeing?"

Yes, some other store!

does anyone do this in any other kind of store?

i have about 4 to 5 thousand records in the store at any given time. there will be a few missing...

it's very bad form, yes

I always just pull out 15/20 records and put them to one side to browse in that situation.

Ooh, bold move. I like it.

Yeah that's exactly what i used to do when browsing records back in the day.

cosign

I always just pull out 15/20 records and drop them all on the floor

things i didn't say to my landlord today: "fuck you you fucking asshole you suck!"

i would move but there is nowhere to move to. my spot is good he just drives me crazy. the only way into the basement of his huge building is through my back door which leads directly from an alley filled with a dumpster and junkies to my office. now when we moved in he said he might need to access this door and get to the basement that way. which is fine. but he never tells me when he's going to do it! i came in this morning and people were already in the basement and, thus, had been in my store and in back without me knowing about it. i have no idea who is going to be in there. granted, they are people fixing horrible basement problems - nice backed up pipes today so that my store smelled like a sewage treatment plant - and i don't think they are going to steal stuff but still! e-mail? text? phone call? he never does. which fills me with rage when i'm working in back and he just pops in the back door unannounced. i can't even look at him anymore. he basically has no respect for me or my store. people move out all the time up top - there are 5 floors to the building - so he doesn't really care who you are. even though we have been there five years and the space was empty forever before we moved in. dickhead.

second installment. these have improved my mood a great deal. well, these and the new medicine.

https://medium.com/p/9706ea4f45eb

How do you tell if someone’s a “record person”

ilu skot

And you probably only want The Swing, Listen Like Thieves, and Kick anyway.

I need a copy of that pink post-it note (the one on the right) to carry with me everywhere

Yeah I’m thinking back to every service interaction I’ve had and it checks all the boxes as far as best practices

Spielberg was on Desert Island Disks today

https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p0jwcv3f

(tracklist TBD i guess, but the bit i heard was very vanilla. always disappointing when people you like have uninteresting musical taste)

Guessing CCR?

only one i can remember was the West Side Story soundtrack, specifically Somewhere. and something by Buzzy Lee (his daughter)

and Grapes Of Wrath as the book.

zzz

Different generation

it was interesting enough, he sounded quite frail and contemplative

that list in full...

DISC ONE: The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance by Gene Pitney
DISC TWO: Fugue in G minor, BMW 578 – “The Little” arranged by Leopold Stokowski, composed by J.S Bach, performed by Philadelphia Orchestra and conducted by Yannick Nezet-Seguin
DISC THREE: Michelle by The Beatles
DISC FOUR: What the World Needs Now Is Love by Jackie DeShannon
DISC FIVE: Come Fly with Me by Frank Sinatra
DISC SIX: The Ghost of Tom Joad by Bruce Springsteen
DISC SEVEN: Somewhere, composed by Leonard Bernstein and Stephen Sondheim, performed by Reri Grist
DISC EIGHT: Coolhand by Buzzy Lee

BOOK CHOICE: The Grapes of Wrath by John Steinbeck
LUXURY ITEM: H-8 Bolex camera
CASTAWAY'S FAVOURITE: Coolhand by Buzzy Lee

i've been very nice to people all day!. i'm here by myself. i'm not usually out front anymore except on Monday and Monday is usually dead. sold a bunch of gift certificates. some kid came in and used his gift certificate to get a sweet copy of Bitches Brew. that warmed my heart.

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some money guy came in and pointed to a nonexistent mark on an unplayed record and said "hey guy you think you could do twenty for this record it looks like there is a mark that might...blah blah." i said nah i'm good with the price. and he said "oh that's okay i can just get it on...amazon.." and i said yeah cool there you go. free shipping too, right? and he said "yeah, go bezos!" as he walked out. dipshit.

the irony is that i haven't put it online - hank mobley blue note reissue - but when i do it will be $29.95 and not the store price of $24.95.

it's like he was trying to get into my record store memoirs on purpose!

Douche

May his vinyl get rashy and his needle get bent.

I give you... THE DISEASE

re hazing- also sometimes happens with those thicker, soft-touch plastic inner sleeves - ie the less crinkly ones - I see a lot of 70s ECM records that were perfectly looked after (or not played lol) but sadly have a ton of hazing due to the paper inners being lined with that type of plastic

I think it is more prone to happen when records are stored in heat / humidity? So it might be more prevalent in Australia? But one of the LPs i was grumbling about was a US album shipped from the UK so I dunno

― Cognosc in Tyrol (emsworth), Monday, December 16, 2024 12:07 PM (two weeks ago) bookmarkflaglink

I knew about inner sleeves causing that but not outers, brb fixing my Stereolab reissues

― sleeve, Monday, December 16, 2024 12:07 PM (two weeks ago) bookmarkflaglink

Ugh, that reminds me of when I sold a sizeable collection of pristine looking 1970s ECM LPs that were worth decent money, almost all of which had surface noise.

― mike t-diva, Tuesday, December 17, 2024 2:26 PM (one week ago) bookmarkflaglink

was talking to an old school record shop guy about this the other day and he referred to it as 'bag rash'

― Bernard Quidbins (NickB), Tuesday, December 17, 2024 2:34 PM (one week ago) bookmarkflaglink

I think those really thin inner sleeves that are only plastic that crinkle up and get irritating will also do it.

― Cow_Art, Tuesday, December 17, 2024 3:08 PM (one week ago) bookmarkflaglink

"bag rash" is amazing

― budo jeru, Tuesday, December 17, 2024 4:36 PM (one week ago) bookmarkflaglink

in my case the old school record shop guy always called it "the disease"

― encino morricone (majorairbro), Wednesday, December 18, 2024 3:09 AM

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are those all your records behind you?

those are his records in front of him too

that's storage behind me in that picture. over by the fairgrounds.

I was at the r store today and they have the recs packed too tight so you can only see the top half inch of the cover

The lost art of removing a handful before browsing each bin

Yeah will do, good idea

tbh I just started hunting

Is there a lost art to reading the spines at shops where they pack the records in sideways?

Spines not readily available at my local ymmv

Is there a lost art to reading the spines at shops where they pack the records in sideways?

*shakes fist at cloud*

yeah that seems a little harsh, not all stores have room to put everything in flip bins (thinking of my fave local place)

nonetheless, overstuffing flip bins is unforgivable

I don’t want to browse by spine

Nobody gonna slow me down! Oh no!

Scott do you have the kajagoogoo 45

how come nobody ever started a band called Kajagahgah?

meanwhile, HAWT PINK! we ordered these at the beginning of november to have them by christmas. we got them yesterday. thanks, trump!

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need! want!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h0-ixBvspeo

Scott if you get the kajagoojoo too shy 45 lmk

I HAVE BEEN BLESSED BY THE SCOTT SEWARD FAIRY

I opened up my mailbox today and there was a bubble-wrapped CD. Thanks for Bach's Bottom, Scott!