Great Real Names

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Real names of people that are just brilliant. Brought on by hearing the Ugandan Foreign Minister on the Radio, his name is James Woodpecker Bulo, which is pretty good if you as me.

― Ed (dali), Thursday, 24 April 2003 05:56 (twenty-one years ago) link

Rufus Longstockings

― jess (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 24 April 2003 06:02 (twenty-one years ago) link

(ahem)

― M Matos (M Matos), Thursday, 24 April 2003 06:03 (twenty-one years ago) link

ThatFuckerJessHarvell

― Leee (Leee), Thursday, 24 April 2003 06:05 (twenty-one years ago) link

okay i made that one up

― jess (dubplatestyle), Thursday, 24 April 2003 06:10 (twenty-one years ago) link

Booz Wierdsma exists

― gabriel (gabe), Thursday, 24 April 2003 06:12 (twenty-one years ago) link

and i've always thought the name Raggett was cool. like a Shakespearean vagabond er something.

― gabriel (gabe), Thursday, 24 April 2003 06:17 (twenty-one years ago) link

alain robbe-grillet ownz enough imo

― Sébastien Chikara (Sébastien Chikara), Thursday, 24 April 2003 06:25 (twenty-one years ago) link

Coco Crisp
Samantha Bond
David Duchovny, but only because it fits with "why won't you love me" in that song

Among ilxen, Ned and Matos and Martin and Lara have damn cool names, and if I'm remembering Ally's full name correctly, she sounds like a Barbara Stanwyck character.

― Tep (ktepi), Thursday, 24 April 2003 06:31 (twenty-one years ago) link

Zinedine Zidane.

― James Ball (James Ball), Thursday, 24 April 2003 06:40 (twenty-one years ago) link

Wubbo Ockels = first dutchman in space

ps he is a dick

― mark s (mark s), Thursday, 24 April 2003 07:37 (twenty-one years ago) link

posting this anonymously as these people might just google sometime

anyway.. i used to work for a multinational company which had a searchable online name and address book. So we used to have office competitions to find the best names..

So. here we go with some of the best (and these are real employees)

Nick Sex
Shirley Shallow
Tory S Gaylord
Ricardo Cunto
Eduardo Bastardo
Eric Cartman
Mindy Smelkinson

there were loads more but i can't remember them right now...

― A Nonymous (Jack Battery-Pack), Thursday, 24 April 2003 08:15 (twenty-one years ago) link

Edward John Moreton Drax Plunkett, Lord Dunsany

He was a great authour, too.

― fletrejet, Thursday, 24 April 2003 10:05 (twenty-one years ago) link

I knew a dude once named Ziad Ziady. Also, my step-sister's freshman-year roommate in college was supposed to be someone named Ojabberin Zayden Powpack, but she never showed.

― hstencil, Thursday, 24 April 2003 12:45 (twenty-one years ago) link

As for bad names, a guy in my office just named his new son Laws0n K1ncade H3adl3y. Blech! So snobby sounding!

― Sarah McLusky (coco), Thursday, 24 April 2003 12:49 (twenty-one years ago) link

Come on down top Ukranian footballer, Semen Semenko

― Dom Passantino (Dom Passantino), Thursday, 24 April 2003 12:49 (twenty-one years ago) link

There's a lawyers office I came across once when I was lost (wrong bus route) the partners' names were Hartless and Rich.

― Anna (Anna), Thursday, 24 April 2003 12:50 (twenty-one years ago) link

Spanish teacher at my middle school = AN1TA D1CK. Her husband's name = H4RRY D1CK. I. SHIT. YOU. NOT.

― nickalicious (nickalicious), Thursday, 24 April 2003 12:51 (twenty-one years ago) link

God Shamgod
Lucky Smalls works where I do...haven't met him.

― buttch (Oops), Thursday, 24 April 2003 13:48 (twenty-one years ago) link

There's a hockey player named Miroslav Satan.

Not as crowd-pleasing perhaps, but there's a statue in Madison Square in New York of a man named Roscoe Conkling.

― Nemo (JND), Thursday, 24 April 2003 13:59 (twenty-one years ago) link

Rocco Baldelli

― Chris V. (Chris V), Thursday, 24 April 2003 14:06 (twenty-one years ago) link

Sometimes I love my job, like yesterday when I registered a student named Bo Ning. Shouldn't laugh, but gotta really...

― Archel (Archel), Thursday, 24 April 2003 14:16 (twenty-one years ago) link

At uni, I knew someone named Peter Handler. He didn't even understand why people giggled when they heard his name. He was such a sweet guy, too!

― colette (a2lette), Thursday, 24 April 2003 14:18 (twenty-one years ago) link

me.

― martin mushrush (mushrush), Thursday, 24 April 2003 14:22 (twenty-one years ago) link

Rufus Longstockings

-- jess

Oh, and my middle school band director was named Rufus Long.

― martin mushrush (mushrush), Thursday, 24 April 2003 14:23 (twenty-one years ago) link

martin, I like your name!

― hstencil, Thursday, 24 April 2003 14:25 (twenty-one years ago) link

Hmong names are great! Friend of mine student-taught in a school with heavy Hmong population and there was a kid named Bee Lor, who signed his name with a little cartoon bee, and I think actually did go out and learn a few things about bees, ie "bee lore." Also many Hmong kids have English names that are still literal and descriptive: the girl named "Pretty Flower [xx]"

Went to school with a girl who's last name was Sexe (p. "sexy") She was, too.

Geoffrey Stuart Cannon is such a bizarre formal name sometimes I can't really believe it's mine (heh "feeling slightly disconnected from one's own name c/d")

― g--ff c-nn-n (gcannon), Thursday, 24 April 2003 14:26 (twenty-one years ago) link

Oh shit how could I forget. When I was a teenager I had a friend named Pendleton Brewster Wickersham III. Nice kid too. Probably a nice guy by now, but it's been a long time...

― martin mushrush (mushrush), Thursday, 24 April 2003 14:28 (twenty-one years ago) link

and i've always thought the name Raggett was cool. like a Shakespearean vagabond er something.

RAGGETT: "Tell me where's your fancy bread.
I need it for me, and I'm called Ned."

Edward John Moreton Drax Plunkett, Lord Dunsany

Seconding Fletrjet on both the name and his writing.

Working at a university as I do, I've come across many a mysteriously cool name. Current favorites, with slight non-google alterations (as these are folks I am currently having to bill for late books): the very Thai (I believe) Nar1n Charanvattank1t, the quite Scottish yet somehow naughty 1an Mu1r Duckles and the prime winner, someone I can only guess is from an Arabic/Dutch family of some sort, Azareen Vandervl1et Oloom1.

― Ned Raggett (Ned), Thursday, 24 April 2003 14:46 (twenty-one years ago) link

he's like the rai beefheart prince!

― g--ff c-nn-n (gcannon), Thursday, 24 April 2003 14:49 (twenty-one years ago) link

i actually really like the name Martin Skidmore. It sounds noble. Sir Martin Skidmore.

― Chris V. (Chris V), Thursday, 24 April 2003 15:30 (twenty-one years ago) link

Ransom Williams, an old friend of mine. Sounds like a black detective character in a series of mysery novels.

― Scott Kos (Scott Kos), Thursday, 24 April 2003 16:29 (twenty-one years ago) link

Best with his actual rank/title: Brigadier General Sylavanus Taco Gilbert (recently fired commandant of the US Air Force Academy).

― Hurlothrumbo (hurlothrumbo), Thursday, 24 April 2003 17:12 (twenty-one years ago) link

Sorry, make that Sylvanus Taco Gilbert III. Really.

― Hurlothrumbo (hurlothrumbo), Thursday, 24 April 2003 17:13 (twenty-one years ago) link

Peter Peters, not sure who he is, but he was the keynote speaker at a Prayer Breakfast round these parts.

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Thursday, 24 April 2003 17:16 (twenty-one years ago) link

Doing some data entry I ran across "Oral Honeycutt"...

― cprek (cprek), Thursday, 24 April 2003 17:19 (twenty-one years ago) link

I paid $30 for that one time...

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Thursday, 24 April 2003 17:20 (twenty-one years ago) link

You got ripped off.

― cprek (cprek), Thursday, 24 April 2003 17:21 (twenty-one years ago) link

I know. But I did get the clap. Sort of an added value thing.

― Horace Mann (Horace Mann), Thursday, 24 April 2003 17:24 (twenty-one years ago) link

me to thread!

― slutsky (slutsky), Thursday, 24 April 2003 17:36 (twenty-one years ago) link

I just saw another one: Dune Combs

Also, I saw a guy named John Hancock, which is not all that unusual, but I wonder if he would make his signature an exact forgery of the founding father of the same name.

― cprek (cprek), Thursday, 24 April 2003 18:13 (twenty-one years ago) link

Thanks Chris and possibly Tep (he might have meant the other martin). Can't say I'm so keen on Skidmore myself, but I'm used to it.

At work today the person who I was given as a sample that would show a particular system error was Mr Doh. I like to imagine that to say his name correctly you have to slap your forehead.

― Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Thursday, 24 April 2003 20:27 (twenty-one years ago) link

hey Martin, Martin is a cool name regardless of which of us he was talking about. It's a good thing at least one Chris thinks that.

― martin mushrush (mushrush), Thursday, 24 April 2003 20:37 (twenty-one years ago) link

I like your name too, Martin. It's got a nice rhythm to it.

― slutsky (slutsky), Thursday, 24 April 2003 20:48 (twenty-one years ago) link

There was a boatbuilding expert on telly today called Brian Labyrinth.

― Matt (Matt), Thursday, 24 April 2003 20:59 (twenty-one years ago) link

old schoolmate: April Blue
friend who blogs: Gwenda Bond

― M Matos (M Matos), Friday, 25 April 2003 06:00 (twenty-one years ago) link

Best Names

i loved that thread, largely because spectra got so into it! :)

― ron (ron), Friday, 25 April 2003 06:15 (twenty-one years ago) link

There was some important politician or someone back in the mid-nineties who was called Tokyo Sexwhale. And more recently, I was looking through my old school's Friends Reunited page searching for someone and I saw this girl from the class of 2000 who was called Jo King.

― Chriddof (Chriddof), Friday, 25 April 2003 11:51 (twenty-one years ago) link

Names of a couple I encountered while data entering:

Mr Dickie & Miss K Titmus

― Nordicskillz (Nordicskillz), Thursday, 1 May 2003 09:27 (twenty-one years ago) link

sexwhale is pronounced sex - while (with just a hint of the wahl from mark wahlberg) - eh

― mitch lastnamewithheld (mitchlnw), Thursday, 1 May 2003 10:00 (twenty-one years ago) link

Skipping 1781 messages at this point... Click here if you want to load them all.

R4ndy M4ss4gee

― Expansion to Mackerel (Boring, Maryland), Sunday, 10 December 2023 20:43 (nine months ago) link

Chiquita Seaborne

― CthulhuLululemon (Ye Mad Puffin), Monday, 11 December 2023 22:49 (nine months ago) link

Altany Craik

https://www.theguardian.com/politics/2023/dec/13/labour-councillor-altany-craik-quits-selection-race-after-concerns-over-sexy-satanic-novels

― Free Ass Ange (Tom D.), Wednesday, 13 December 2023 14:21 (nine months ago) link

Ulva Pippy

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ian_MacDonald_(actor)

― Nine Inch Males (Tom D.), Tuesday, 19 December 2023 21:35 (nine months ago) link

Marcel Peeper

https://i.ebayimg.com/images/g/NagAAOSwC9hcSv~~/s-l1200.webp

― Nine Inch Males (Tom D.), Wednesday, 20 December 2023 09:54 (nine months ago) link

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oliver_Onions

― budo jeru, Wednesday, 20 December 2023 15:15 (nine months ago) link

I may have mentioned that I have a friend whose name is S e r e n e T i c k l e. I only just now learned that she's from P o u l t o n le F y l d e, which just makes it better.

― CthulhuLululemon (Ye Mad Puffin), Tuesday, 26 December 2023 04:59 (nine months ago) link

Bailey Zappe

― immodesty blaise (jimbeaux), Tuesday, 26 December 2023 20:16 (nine months ago) link

three weeks pass...

Cherokee Pilkington

― Bulky Pee Pants (Tom D.), Tuesday, 16 January 2024 07:28 (eight months ago) link

Enjoyed watching Thelonius Aasgard playing alongside Becket Godo for Wigan the other week.

― Piedie Gimbel, Tuesday, 16 January 2024 09:45 (eight months ago) link

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/GEQBpldXgAAWEBo?format=jpg&name=small

― mookieproof, Saturday, 20 January 2024 23:36 (eight months ago) link

Zé_Turbo

― anvil, Saturday, 20 January 2024 23:52 (eight months ago) link

Wa-Ho-Thuk

― immodesty blaise (jimbeaux), Sunday, 21 January 2024 00:12 (eight months ago) link

two weeks pass...

Avalon Fast
Kansas Bowling

Two women filmmakers

― nickn, Thursday, 8 February 2024 07:13 (seven months ago) link

Today I learned that Mark Meadows has a lawyer named George J. Terwilliger III.

― Josh in Chicago, Thursday, 8 February 2024 13:53 (seven months ago) link

Richard Sheridan Patrick Michael Aloysius Franklin Bowling

― The British Boy of Film Classification (Tom D.), Monday, 12 February 2024 10:24 (seven months ago) link

one of the developers of human in-vitro fertilisation was called Patrick Steptoe - a name I thought was a fictional creation by Ray Galton and Alan Simpson until today!

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Steptoe_and_Son

― Grandpont Genie, Friday, 16 February 2024 09:14 (seven months ago) link

two weeks pass...

Guy Numbers

― from a prominent family of bassoon players (Boring, Maryland), Wednesday, 6 March 2024 21:48 (six months ago) link

Apparently there is a TN House Rep named Monty Fritts, that's pretty good. But I had an Uber driver over the weekend named Artiston Leatherbury. That rules.

― Josh in Chicago, Thursday, 14 March 2024 18:15 (six months ago) link

F@lon Hard3n

― CEO Greedwagon (Neanderthal), Thursday, 14 March 2024 18:21 (six months ago) link

three weeks pass...

weaver & textile historian Rabbit Goody

― Andy the Grasshopper, Monday, 8 April 2024 19:03 (five months ago) link

is this thread deindexed lol

― music for A★TEENS’ musicians (Stevie D(eux)), Friday, 12 April 2024 15:43 (five months ago) link

I'm sure Rabbit would be delighted to discover people think they have a great name.

― My God's got no nose... (Tom D.), Friday, 12 April 2024 15:47 (five months ago) link

Scan Tester

― brimstead, Saturday, 20 April 2024 05:16 (five months ago) link

Oh it’s a nickname. Bah.

― brimstead, Saturday, 20 April 2024 05:16 (five months ago) link

Surprised Dick Butkus has yet to come up.

― birdistheword, Saturday, 20 April 2024 05:23 (five months ago) link

Primbrock Skiggs, soul singer.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ft2SN6m8q-w

― ian, Friday, 3 May 2024 16:28 (four months ago) link

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/George_Earthy

― I've left the box of soup near your shoes (Tom D.), Saturday, 11 May 2024 15:48 (four months ago) link

two weeks pass...

Rosy Saxifrage...

heard this on the radio this morning and figured it was a person's name but alas...

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cjkkm4re518o

― koogs, Sunday, 26 May 2024 20:13 (four months ago) link

four weeks pass...

This might be a stretch but I had an interview with someone with an email that started goates.

― Decam'ron (Leee), Sunday, 23 June 2024 17:25 (three months ago) link

Isl4m B0rk0wsk1

― Dick Cavett Poo Party (Boring, Maryland), Tuesday, 2 July 2024 18:57 (two months ago) link

https://www.emeline.com.au/dr-ion-pop

― Bellend Sebastian (S-), Monday, 8 July 2024 02:59 (two months ago) link

Bollock Trotsky

United States Census, 1920
— Actual Names (@ActualNames1) July 7, 2024

― vodkaitamin effrtvescent (calzino), Monday, 8 July 2024 14:40 (two months ago) link

“In the Winton Domesday, there are a number of people with either just the name Bollock or with ‘bollock’ in their surname. There's an Alfred Toad Bollock, for example.
“But the worst name I found is someone called Godwin Clawcunt.”

― vodkaitamin effrtvescent (calzino), Monday, 8 July 2024 15:02 (two months ago) link

Dr. Judson Lovingood of NASA

― Tsar Bombadil (James Morrison), Wednesday, 10 July 2024 00:38 (two months ago) link

Josh Hutcherson was in the Hunger Games films. His mother? Michelle Fightmaster:
https://www.imdb.com/name/nm3322397/

― Ashley Pomeroy, Wednesday, 10 July 2024 17:16 (two months ago) link

Hattie Weiner rip

― The Artist formerly known as Earlnash, Thursday, 11 July 2024 21:11 (two months ago) link

xp there's an actor named E.R. Fightmaster (i know them from the TV show Shrill). maybe they're related?

― jaymc, Thursday, 11 July 2024 21:27 (two months ago) link

Ginger Stache

https://gingerlstache.com/

― alpine static, Friday, 12 July 2024 05:05 (two months ago) link

Well, apparently it's an English version of Fechtmeister, which is German for fightmaster, specifically fencing. Fencing was taught at a fechtschule. This man, Friedrich August Wilhelm Ludwig Roux, was a top fechtmeister:
https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/e/e3/Friedrich_August_Wilhelm_Ludwig_Roux.jpg

Which raises the question of whether any top fightmasters would have been called Fechtmeister. It's like how Les Paul isn't called Les Electric Guitar, because the electric guitar hadn't been invented when Les Paul was christened.

Or how J Robert Oppenheimer wasn't called J Robert Atom Bomb. Etc.

― Ashley Pomeroy, Friday, 12 July 2024 16:27 (two months ago) link

three weeks pass...

Pope Thrower

https://focustaiwan.tw/politics/202408020008

― underminer of twenty years of excellent contribution to this borad (dan m), Friday, 2 August 2024 13:58 (one month ago) link

wut

― Bad Bairns (Boring, Maryland), Friday, 2 August 2024 14:09 (one month ago) link

Ha, wasn't he on the now sadly defunct Name of the Year contest a few years back

― nxd, Friday, 2 August 2024 14:10 (one month ago) link

Brittany Buffalino

in a cheap music video

― nickn, Tuesday, 6 August 2024 03:03 (one month ago) link

Christophe Psyché

By the way this guy was born in Cannes and now plays for Tromsø, 217 miles north of the Arctic Circle!

― Defund Phil Collins (Tom D.), Thursday, 15 August 2024 19:12 (one month ago) link

four weeks pass...

Gaylord le Chequer, deputy at the mayor's office in Montreuil (Paris, communist party)
Wasn't familiar with that first name

― Nabozo, Thursday, 12 September 2024 06:27 (two weeks ago) link

https://weirdspace.info/RussellMyers/Graphics/GaylordBuzzard.jpg

― Tsar Bombadil (James Morrison), Monday, 16 September 2024 08:15 (one week ago) link

It was a moderately popular boys name until the 1950s, still is in Francophone world, for example

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gaylord_Silly

― This is Dance Anthems, have some respect (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Monday, 16 September 2024 08:52 (one week ago) link

Guy who goes to my gym: Clayt0n Lusty

― butt dumb tight my boners got boners (the table is the table), Tuesday, 24 September 2024 00:49 (three days ago) link

Djouvensky Schlenbaker

https://wsucougars.com/sports/football/roster/djouvensky-schlenbaker/13642

― StanM, Friday, 27 September 2024 08:15 (eleven hours ago) link

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