― Ned Raggett, Tuesday, 25 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)
― Mr Noodles, Tuesday, 25 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)
I had a weird sensation reading some of the pieces, laughter and sadness at the same time. The tone is slightly different than usual Onion (the sidebar piece on the Arab 3rd grader), a bit less clever and more in-your-face (see the God clarifies position piece). You can feel the gravity in what they are doing here.
― Mark, Tuesday, 25 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)
― Sterling Clover, Wednesday, 26 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)
― Ed, Wednesday, 26 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)
― Nick, Wednesday, 26 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)
― Kate the Saint, Wednesday, 26 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)
― rezna, Wednesday, 26 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)
but i still find them very funny
to be honest i cant really think of many sources of comedy which dont use tired old formulas, or rather come up with totally new and hilarious joke formats every time....
― ambrose, Wednesday, 26 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)
― Mark, Wednesday, 26 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)
― Ally, Wednesday, 26 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)
― suzy, Friday, 28 September 2001 00:00 (twenty-four years ago)
― gabbneb (gabbneb), Monday, 9 October 2006 19:46 (nineteen years ago)
http://www.theonion.com/content/files/images/onion_news1802.jpg
― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Tuesday, 10 October 2006 16:11 (nineteen years ago)
― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Tuesday, 10 October 2006 16:12 (nineteen years ago)
― Laurel (Laurel), Tuesday, 10 October 2006 16:22 (nineteen years ago)
― Andrew Farrell (afarrell), Tuesday, 10 October 2006 18:11 (nineteen years ago)
roffle
― Young Fresh Danny D (Dan Perry), Tuesday, 10 October 2006 18:29 (nineteen years ago)
― Curt1s St3ph3ns, Wednesday, 11 October 2006 02:30 (nineteen years ago)
― chaki (chaki), Wednesday, 11 October 2006 03:30 (nineteen years ago)
― gypsy mothra (gypsy mothra), Wednesday, 11 October 2006 03:42 (nineteen years ago)
― Andrew (enneff), Wednesday, 11 October 2006 03:44 (nineteen years ago)
In the same edition, the TV guide spoof made me totally lose my shit (in the slightly unhinged mood of the time, obv)
http://www.theonion.com/content/node/38450
Especially CBS: "Dan Rather's 83rd Straight Hour On The Air / Dan Rather Seriously Loses His Shit / Medicating Dan Rather"
― Trayce (trayce), Wednesday, 11 October 2006 04:06 (nineteen years ago)
http://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/95_96_prayers_finally
I was laughing at this until the very end. That last joke seems unusually mean-spirited for the Onion.
― Nathan, Thursday, 18 October 2007 21:42 (eighteen years ago)
um, the christopher reeve snipe was hardly cricket.
― darraghmac, Thursday, 18 October 2007 21:44 (eighteen years ago)
True. I guess that somehow escaped me when I first read it.
― Nathan, Thursday, 18 October 2007 21:45 (eighteen years ago)
i liked this one because is not jello a foods
[a hrarf = this is my internets link] http://www.theonion.com/content/news/conceptual_terrorists_encase_sears[/a hraf linkthing]
― a puppy, Thursday, 18 October 2007 21:48 (eighteen years ago)
I have to say, for having webbed toes you are impressively skilled at typing.
― Abbott, Thursday, 18 October 2007 21:53 (eighteen years ago)
a hrarf!
― G00blar, Thursday, 18 October 2007 21:55 (eighteen years ago)
I don't get why everybody's blaming the puppy for not being Socialist Realism or somethink.
― Noodle Vague, Thursday, 18 October 2007 21:56 (eighteen years ago)
I don't even know what that means and I am a hu-man.
― Abbott, Thursday, 18 October 2007 21:59 (eighteen years ago)
who blames a puppy i am lerning better, promise the psyientests are teaching me
― a puppy, Thursday, 18 October 2007 22:01 (eighteen years ago)
I didn't express myself very clearly.
Anyway, if y'all thought the "95-96 Prayers Backlog" was cold, look what I stumbled across:
http://www.theonion.com/content/node/29919
― Noodle Vague, Thursday, 18 October 2007 22:01 (eighteen years ago)
okay that is awesome
― HI DERE, Thursday, 18 October 2007 22:02 (eighteen years ago)
the onion's had a hardon for superman for awhile - http://www.theonion.com/content/node/30382
― balls, Thursday, 18 October 2007 22:14 (eighteen years ago)
whose balls are you, i am lookinf for mine
― a puppy, Thursday, 18 October 2007 22:18 (eighteen years ago)
http://fanaticking.com/photos/Michael_Vick_Dog.jpg
― balls, Thursday, 18 October 2007 22:22 (eighteen years ago)
i kinda forgot abt the onion but this was posted on the quantum mechanic thread and it is funnee http://www.theonion.com/content/news/scientists_ask_congress_to_fund_50
― rrrobyn, Friday, 19 October 2007 03:02 (eighteen years ago)
They've really been on a roll with the cartoons - they're probably my favorite thing in the Onion now.
― Hurting 2, Friday, 2 November 2007 03:24 (eighteen years ago)
http://www.theonion.com/content/files/images/Cartoon-Cage-Free-Eggs.jpg
― Hurting 2, Friday, 2 November 2007 03:25 (eighteen years ago)
One of my more flattering caricatures.
― Ned Raggett, Friday, 2 November 2007 03:26 (eighteen years ago)
Ha.
I also really love that every so often there will be an editorial cartoon about the cartoonist's ex-wife.
― Hurting 2, Friday, 2 November 2007 03:29 (eighteen years ago)
lol http://www.theonion.com/content/files/images/Cartoon-Freak-Dancing.jpg
― Curt1s Stephens, Friday, 2 November 2007 04:02 (eighteen years ago)
I read the last word wrong and thought this was gonna be about http://content.answers.com/main/content/wp/en/thumb/3/37/250px-Vina.jpg
― James Redd and the Blecchs, Friday, 2 November 2007 04:55 (eighteen years ago)
http://www.theonion.com/content/files/images/Teens-Turning-Backs.jpg
― Frogman Henry, Friday, 2 November 2007 09:02 (eighteen years ago)
http://content.answers.com/main/content/wp/en/thumb/3/37/250px-Vina.jpg who's that on the right? Jabba the Hutt?
― Heave Ho, Friday, 2 November 2007 10:41 (eighteen years ago)
http://www.theonion.com/content/news/mel_brooks_starts_nonprofit
― El Tomboto, Friday, 2 November 2007 16:32 (eighteen years ago)
http://www.theonion.com/content/files/images/KellyKlassicMujahideen.article.jpg
― Billy Dods, Wednesday, 16 January 2008 16:29 (seventeen years ago)
lol
― a ZX spectrum is haunting Europe (Daniel_Rf), Monday, 20 January 2025 10:46 (ten months ago)
was reminded of this one on bsky: https://theonion.com/fbi-uncovers-al-qaeda-plot-to-just-sit-back-and-enjoy-c-1819576375/
― rob, Monday, 10 February 2025 14:43 (nine months ago)
I receive the paper edition and it is excellent - many little jokes that I suspect are paper-only as they take advantage of the layout. like a full-page ad for Tyson chicken tenders with the tagline "Eat Around the Tumors!"
― Tracer Hand, Monday, 10 February 2025 14:50 (nine months ago)
a couple of times they've filled space on an inside page by printing a continuation of an article supposedly from the front page but which actually doesn't exist, and the continuation is some horrific detail. look I'm a Mad Magazine fan. i bought boxes of Croonchy Stars. i live for this shit.
― Tracer Hand, Monday, 10 February 2025 14:52 (nine months ago)
Okay, that is awesome.
― Andrew Farrell, Tuesday, 11 February 2025 11:01 (nine months ago)
oh yeah that was a common thing when i used to get the print edition regularly, maybe 25 years ago. They would fill space with some gory repeating sentence… searched and found it!: “Passersby were amazed by the unusually large amounts of blood.”
― Lavator Shemmelpennick, Thursday, 13 February 2025 03:43 (nine months ago)
https://bsky.app/profile/theonion.com/post/3lii64umprk2c
― 𝔠𝔞𝔢𝔨 (caek), Tuesday, 18 February 2025 23:00 (nine months ago)
https://theonion.com/stephen-miller-enraged-after-discovering-cantaloupe-he-1828172700/
― joey crack, aka kaiser saucer (sic), Wednesday, 19 February 2025 00:20 (nine months ago)
Pure magic:
https://theonion.com/tiger-woods-claims-that-in-time-he-will-fuck-everyones-ex-wife/
― Clever Message Board User Name (Raymond Cummings), Sunday, 30 March 2025 20:34 (seven months ago)
New book about the origin and history of the Onion is excellent.
― Josh in Chicago, Wednesday, 2 April 2025 11:02 (seven months ago)
you guys I’m sure the Onion has gone through some down periods before with it being around so long and all but
when did it become so bad, it’s so bad now
― Murgatroid, Sunday, 13 April 2025 13:32 (seven months ago)
did it change after the 11th of February?
― Nancy Makes Posts (sic), Sunday, 13 April 2025 14:08 (seven months ago)
i think the Onion is still funny
― frogbs, Thursday, 17 April 2025 20:16 (seven months ago)
I think the best way to enjoy the onion is to just follow them on your social network of choice and have an occasional onion article mixed in with all the other news/opinion stuff you are following. In that way, even something dumb like
https://theonion.com/jd-vance-rushes-to-put-wifes-head-back-on-after-fumbling-second-lady/
gets a silent chuckle from me
― silverfish, Thursday, 17 April 2025 20:34 (seven months ago)
Seeing stories about Russell Brand and Katy Perry in their breaking news section makes me wonder if I'm still living in 2011.
― Iza Duffus Hardy (President Keyes), Thursday, 17 April 2025 20:37 (seven months ago)
Vanity Fair interviews Tim Onion (Onion CEO Ben Collins):https://archive.ph/Ojezk
― jaymc, Tuesday, 20 May 2025 23:04 (six months ago)
If you quote someone in yr piece and then go “…he exclusively tells Vanity Fair,” i think you should be flung into a lake of fire. unless you are using the onion’s house style ironically in an article about something onion-related.
― Theodor W. Adorbso (Hunt3r), Wednesday, 21 May 2025 02:40 (six months ago)
They don’t call it vanity fair for nothing
― I am the stranger, killing the Boer (Boring, Maryland), Wednesday, 21 May 2025 02:54 (six months ago)
https://theonion.com/letter-to-congress/
― Dan Worsley, Sunday, 22 June 2025 22:08 (four months ago)
https://bsky.app/profile/bencollins.bsky.social/post/3lv5gsuyils2k
― StanM, Friday, 1 August 2025 10:42 (three months ago)
https://theonion.com/man-given-6-months-to-live-beats-odds-by-dying-in-2
― Josh in Chicago, Monday, 1 September 2025 18:08 (two months ago)
Also, I'd never seen this:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5cCLJieV9IY
― Josh in Chicago, Monday, 1 September 2025 18:09 (two months ago)
Good lord
https://bsky.app/profile/theonion.com/post/3lxs6om5lvk2a
― frogbs, Monday, 1 September 2025 18:15 (two months ago)
Kelly is killing it right now.
https://bsky.app/profile/kartoonistkelly.bsky.social/post/3ly3yclyq3k26
― Dan Worsley, Sunday, 7 September 2025 21:36 (two months ago)
frogbs’ link clicks through to https://theonion.com/causing-a-fuhrer/
― Nancy Makes Posts (sic), Sunday, 7 September 2025 21:49 (two months ago)
here’s Dan’s
https://theonion.com/wax-on-vax-off/
― Nancy Makes Posts (sic), Sunday, 7 September 2025 21:50 (two months ago)
need a kelly where rfk jr is depicted wearing jeans while working out (because he absolutely does)
a tough demand, but i have faith
― mookieproof, Monday, 8 September 2025 00:48 (two months ago)
https://theonion.com/witnesses-assumed-charlie-kirk-shooter-was-just-ordinary-gunman-on-school-campus/
― StanM, Friday, 12 September 2025 07:27 (two months ago)
oof
― kinder, Friday, 12 September 2025 18:36 (two months ago)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CzejLgUFM38
― Mr. T's Ballroom (Boring, Maryland), Saturday, 27 September 2025 01:36 (one month ago)
Wait I just found out this is actually showing in theaters, but nowhere near me. Anyone going?
― Mr. T's Ballroom (Boring, Maryland), Saturday, 27 September 2025 02:01 (one month ago)
I wish!
― sleeve, Saturday, 27 September 2025 02:03 (one month ago)
screening near me already sold out, it includes a screening of Sex House, oh well, missing the experience of a lifetime, whatever.
― JoeStork, Saturday, 27 September 2025 03:02 (one month ago)
I am so happy Sex House exists and persists.
― Josh in Chicago, Saturday, 27 September 2025 03:05 (one month ago)
The brief first run of Onion Studios was amazing: let us also not forget Lake Dredge Appraisal and Porkin’ Across America
― Mr. T's Ballroom (Boring, Maryland), Saturday, 27 September 2025 09:28 (one month ago)
It's great that they're reviving some of their old columnists, first Jean Teasdale and now the triumphant return of Roger Dudekhttps://theonion.com/the-cost-of-this-wedding-is-making-me-matri-moan-y/Hoping that Gorzo the Mighty is next
― Critique of the Goth Programme (Neil S), Monday, 6 October 2025 12:28 (one month ago)
lmao that is vintage stuff
― Tracer Hand, Monday, 6 October 2025 12:30 (one month ago)
Did anyone watch “Bad Pedophile”?
― Mr. T's Ballroom (Boring, Maryland), Monday, 6 October 2025 14:06 (one month ago)
the 48-seater cinema that showed it here sold out in minutes.
― fall of the house of urrsher (sic), Monday, 6 October 2025 15:46 (one month ago)
They put it on youtube. This is ridiculous, lol.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XjhSoGcQhWU
― Josh in Chicago, Friday, 10 October 2025 13:01 (one month ago)
I watched it. Monstrous. Often inscrutable as to what it’s intending to do. I assumed it’s meant to be profoundly unfunny and stupid, as a way to tell the viewer there is truly nothing funny here, just monstrous people getting away with it, and us allowing it.
― beige accent rug (Hunt3r), Friday, 10 October 2025 23:39 (one month ago)
I had some deep guilty laughs at the headlines on the Pedophile Island Tribune and seeing Mister Met in a collage of conspirators
― Mr. T's Ballroom (Boring, Maryland), Saturday, 11 October 2025 20:51 (one month ago)
laughed pretty hard at Epstein immediately trying to hang himself when he goes to trial
― frogbs, Saturday, 11 October 2025 21:14 (one month ago)
Thought it was pretty funny.
― sent a message through the Internet but it rejected (Camaraderie at Arms Length), Saturday, 11 October 2025 21:18 (one month ago)
https://ci3.googleusercontent.com/meips/ADKq_NYBKJTYT76wDsZ6zvgnJGMCJ93YE8UTEQDJYyH8wmyYHSHRAcP0lMDUYRBn0Z4sUUBkohq8rb6zmuq0qrMSDFWhUw4iGmQyOXd_00UWbt92j4AnknGkJUfhMwmaACtfrALhT3owsbgprDhnM2pQRMGW7kqdujwF4J0=s0-d-e1-ft#https://mcusercontent.com/58c80b904ec17bc5299e62ab0/images/2c9f8256-5a9a-38c3-6c11-32584c412fad.jpg
― Josh in Chicago, Friday, 17 October 2025 20:29 (one month ago)
whoa harsh toke
https://theonion.com/wp-content/uploads/2025/11/Soot_Prince_Andrew_NIB_G_PH.jpg
Soot-Covered Prince Andrew Begging On Street For Child To Molest
https://theonion.com/soot-covered-prince-andrew-begging-on-street-for-child-to-molest/
― Andy the Grasshopper, Wednesday, 5 November 2025 00:46 (two weeks ago)
enjoyed this: https://theonion.com/not-sure-how-they-deal-with-criminals-in-your-town-but-round-here-we-use-a-restorative-justice-process/
― silverfish, Wednesday, 12 November 2025 20:51 (one week ago)
god i was crying laughing at that
― budo jeru, Wednesday, 12 November 2025 21:06 (one week ago)
if u dont subscribe to the print edition, i highly recommend it. they save some of their best stuff for that.
― petey, pablo & mary (m bison), Thursday, 13 November 2025 01:09 (one week ago)
Think I’m bluffin’? Why don’t you ask the last guy who tried to argue that crime is a violation of the law and the state, rather’n a violation of people and relationships.
― lag∞n, Saturday, 15 November 2025 22:45 (six days ago)