this is great:
http://www.theonion.com/content/opinion/if_god_had_wanted_me_to_be
― Darin, Tuesday, 13 October 2009 16:19 (fifteen years ago) link
that is excellent. almost makes me wish i knew more and not less jane kendrickses, just to maximize the pleasure associated with sending this to them.
― iiiijjjj, Tuesday, 13 October 2009 17:24 (fifteen years ago) link
Yeah, that piece is awesome
― kingfish, Wednesday, 14 October 2009 01:32 (fifteen years ago) link
http://www.theonion.com/content/news/man_dies_after_secret_4_year
― MPx4A, Monday, 26 October 2009 16:13 (fifteen years ago) link
haha man that's great
― President Deez (some dude), Monday, 26 October 2009 16:39 (fifteen years ago) link
awesome.
― FC Tom Tomsk Club (Merdeyeux), Monday, 26 October 2009 16:41 (fifteen years ago) link
Mrs. Seaborne said she's used most of her husband's life insurance payout to start the David Seaborne Foundation, an organization dedicated to raising awareness of those battling gorillas or other great apes. According to the foundation's website, the growing problem affects one in every 29 million Americans, and one in every 80 Congolese.
― cialis morissette (goole), Monday, 26 October 2009 16:45 (fifteen years ago) link
It's in the proud tradition of "Supreme Court Overturns Car".
― MPx4A, Monday, 26 October 2009 16:49 (fifteen years ago) link
http://www.theonion.com/content/news/michael_vick_fails_to_inspire_team
― cee-u-en-tee (some dude), Monday, 26 October 2009 22:39 (fifteen years ago) link
http://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/obamas_declaration_of_swine
― StanM, Wednesday, 28 October 2009 21:03 (fifteen years ago) link
lol @ rush limbaugh
― (: (: (: (Curt1s Stephens), Wednesday, 28 October 2009 21:41 (fifteen years ago) link
http://www.theonion.com/content/video/victim_in_fatal_car_accident
― smashing aspirant (milo z), Tuesday, 3 November 2009 06:25 (fifteen years ago) link
"a good friend who hated glenn beck and loved to dance."
my housemate came out of her room and said 'why u be cackling'
― my bach penises and their contrapuntal technique (the table is the table), Tuesday, 3 November 2009 06:31 (fifteen years ago) link
The phrase "Supreme Court Overturns Car" makes me laugh every single time I see it.
― adamj, Tuesday, 3 November 2009 10:06 (fifteen years ago) link
http://www.theonion.com/content/news/united_airlines_exploring
― a 40-foot-long electrified pickle (GOTT PUNCH II HAWKWINDZ), Tuesday, 3 November 2009 14:31 (fifteen years ago) link
HAHAH.
"EMT Craig Anton was first on the scene.""I jumped out of the ambulance and I ran to the wreckage to make sure that the victim was still breathing or else was Glenn Beck."
― Adam Bruneau, Tuesday, 3 November 2009 17:08 (fifteen years ago) link
Hahah yes "radio host Rush Limbaugh, who made a point of dying of the virus during his show on Wednesday" was hilarious.
― i obtain much semillon (Trayce), Tuesday, 3 November 2009 23:27 (fifteen years ago) link
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gEyFH-a-XoQ
― Bobby Wo (max), Thursday, 5 November 2009 16:32 (fifteen years ago) link
http://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/timeless_masterpiece_liked
― BIG STROON aka the santaclara drug (James Redd and the Blecchs), Thursday, 5 November 2009 16:36 (fifteen years ago) link
Area Man Passionate Defender Of What He Imagines Constitution To Be
― circa1916, Monday, 16 November 2009 19:18 (fifteen years ago) link
The choice of Escondido as the setting = utterly OTM.
― Ned Raggett, Monday, 16 November 2009 19:27 (fifteen years ago) link
http://www.theonion.com/content/files/images/KellyNewspapers.jpg
― luol deng (am0n), Monday, 16 November 2009 19:32 (fifteen years ago) link
http://www.theonion.com/content/files/images/Obama_wh.jpg
― Darin, Friday, 20 November 2009 17:24 (fifteen years ago) link
http://www.theonion.com/content/video/boy_finds_own_real_life_e_t
Love the presenters.
― Not the real Village People, Friday, 20 November 2009 19:44 (fifteen years ago) link
My adolescence in a nutshell. (Warning: Plays audio.)
― Christine Green Leafy Dragon Indigo, Friday, 20 November 2009 21:11 (fifteen years ago) link
You know, I'm surprised this hadn't been done yet:
http://www.theonion.com/content/news/nations_music_snobs_protest
― Ned Raggett, Monday, 23 November 2009 19:28 (fourteen years ago) link
haa
― my fave thing to do on the computer is what im doing right now (acoleuthic), Monday, 23 November 2009 19:44 (fourteen years ago) link
I saw it earlier but I've been mad busy today
― 9-1 changed everything (DJ Mencap), Monday, 23 November 2009 19:48 (fourteen years ago) link
was also prevented by personal wretchedness felt when catching myself thinking 'hmm, I don't really imagine that Sasha Frere-Jones would big up Dream Theater in this situation, somehow'
― 9-1 changed everything (DJ Mencap), Monday, 23 November 2009 19:50 (fourteen years ago) link
Every Onion music story must reference Steely Dan now, it's a rule.
― Of course I want frosting. I'm a Scorpio. (kenan), Tuesday, 24 November 2009 00:57 (fourteen years ago) link
A small but especially vocal contingent tirelessly lobbied for the inclusion of at least one selection from Steely Dan's 1977 tour de force Aja, preferably the song "Peg."
"Blatantly dismissing what the U.S. government has done to these men is an unconscionable miscarriage of justice," Pitchfork.com contributor Andy Ragazzo said. "I've been here for nearly six hours, and I haven't heard one person other than myself so much as mention the groundbreaking work of minimal techno and microhouse artist Ricardo Villalobos."
"It almost makes me ashamed to be an American," Ragazzo added
OK who's the ILX inside man at the Onion... fess up!
― hulk would smash (Trayce), Tuesday, 24 November 2009 04:24 (fourteen years ago) link
the funny thing is that I am one of those music snobs who has complained about the predictable use of metallica to torture prisoners
― berberbrebreerbbrerberereerb (Curt1s Stephens), Tuesday, 24 November 2009 04:29 (fourteen years ago) link
Little Bummer Boy
http://www.theonion.com/content/files/images/KellyXmasDecor.jpg
― Henry Frog (Frogman Henry), Tuesday, 24 November 2009 07:58 (fourteen years ago) link
http://www.last.fm/music/Part+Chimp/_/Li%27l+Bummerboy
― 9-1 changed everything (DJ Mencap), Tuesday, 24 November 2009 08:05 (fourteen years ago) link
I like that the obvious label requires a parenthetical aside.
― Of course I want frosting. I'm a Scorpio. (kenan), Tuesday, 24 November 2009 10:06 (fourteen years ago) link
http://www.theonion.com/content/news/new_device_desirable_old_device
― audacity, hubris, overweening pride! (GOTT PUNCH II HAWKWINDZ), Friday, 4 December 2009 12:51 (fourteen years ago) link
^^ came here to post that; it describes me to a tee -0-
― 囧 (dyao), Tuesday, 8 December 2009 02:21 (fourteen years ago) link
http://www.theonion.com/content/news/new_study_reveals_most_children
Heartbreakingly OTM
― You treat your step-mother with respect, Pantera (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 10 December 2009 16:07 (fourteen years ago) link
got two onion compilation for christmas, happy days.
― stop grieving, it's only a chicken (darraghmac), Thursday, 10 December 2009 16:08 (fourteen years ago) link
http://www.theonion.com/content/ourannualyear09
loving this whole thing
― super sexy psycho fantasy world (uh oh I'm having a fantasy), Wednesday, 16 December 2009 18:03 (fourteen years ago) link
The one about the Sumerians is killing me.
― just a moonful of sugar (Abbott), Wednesday, 16 December 2009 18:18 (fourteen years ago) link
Hahah this is great. The "long elaborate timeline" with "15 year old enlightened by Nirvana" in 100BC and again in 1991.
― millivanillimillenary (Trayce), Wednesday, 16 December 2009 22:15 (fourteen years ago) link
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mSt1m4NFUl8
― un(!)registered (unregistered), Tuesday, 5 January 2010 23:37 (fourteen years ago) link
Gay Teen Worried He Might Be Christian
― StanM, Wednesday, 13 January 2010 14:41 (fourteen years ago) link
They're on to ILX: Man Who Enjoys Thing Informed He Is Wrong
― what of the fuck you talkie bout (Pancakes Hackman), Monday, 25 January 2010 16:47 (fourteen years ago) link
http://www.theonion.com/content/opinion/as_much_as_i_hated_putting_my
― MPx4A, Thursday, 4 February 2010 14:20 (fourteen years ago) link
has everybody seen the dedicated Jean Teasdale site? http://hometowns.cyber-net-village.com/Orlando/7302/Rick/sportzone/misc/folders/Jean/index.php
― Lee Dorrian Gray (J0hn D.), Thursday, 4 February 2010 14:36 (fourteen years ago) link
;_;
xpost
― koogs, Thursday, 4 February 2010 14:37 (fourteen years ago) link
i went out with jean teasdale in school i think.
― genial anarchy (darraghmac), Thursday, 4 February 2010 14:39 (fourteen years ago) link
dog story hits a little too close to the bone to bring the lols. :'(
― FC Tom Tomsk Club (Merdeyeux), Thursday, 4 February 2010 14:43 (fourteen years ago) link