God bless the goddamn Onion

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haha man that's great

President Deez (some dude), Monday, 26 October 2009 16:39 (fifteen years ago)

awesome.

FC Tom Tomsk Club (Merdeyeux), Monday, 26 October 2009 16:41 (fifteen years ago)

Mrs. Seaborne said she's used most of her husband's life insurance payout to start the David Seaborne Foundation, an organization dedicated to raising awareness of those battling gorillas or other great apes. According to the foundation's website, the growing problem affects one in every 29 million Americans, and one in every 80 Congolese.

cialis morissette (goole), Monday, 26 October 2009 16:45 (fifteen years ago)

It's in the proud tradition of "Supreme Court Overturns Car".

MPx4A, Monday, 26 October 2009 16:49 (fifteen years ago)

http://www.theonion.com/content/news/michael_vick_fails_to_inspire_team

cee-u-en-tee (some dude), Monday, 26 October 2009 22:39 (fifteen years ago)

http://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/obamas_declaration_of_swine

StanM, Wednesday, 28 October 2009 21:03 (fifteen years ago)

lol @ rush limbaugh

(: (: (: (Curt1s Stephens), Wednesday, 28 October 2009 21:41 (fifteen years ago)

http://www.theonion.com/content/video/victim_in_fatal_car_accident

smashing aspirant (milo z), Tuesday, 3 November 2009 06:25 (fifteen years ago)

"a good friend who hated glenn beck and loved to dance."

my housemate came out of her room and said 'why u be cackling'

my bach penises and their contrapuntal technique (the table is the table), Tuesday, 3 November 2009 06:31 (fifteen years ago)

The phrase "Supreme Court Overturns Car" makes me laugh every single time I see it.

adamj, Tuesday, 3 November 2009 10:06 (fifteen years ago)

http://www.theonion.com/content/news/united_airlines_exploring

a 40-foot-long electrified pickle (GOTT PUNCH II HAWKWINDZ), Tuesday, 3 November 2009 14:31 (fifteen years ago)

HAHAH.

"EMT Craig Anton was first on the scene."
"I jumped out of the ambulance and I ran to the wreckage to make sure that the victim was still breathing or else was Glenn Beck."

Adam Bruneau, Tuesday, 3 November 2009 17:08 (fifteen years ago)

Hahah yes "radio host Rush Limbaugh, who made a point of dying of the virus during his show on Wednesday" was hilarious.

i obtain much semillon (Trayce), Tuesday, 3 November 2009 23:27 (fifteen years ago)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gEyFH-a-XoQ

Bobby Wo (max), Thursday, 5 November 2009 16:32 (fifteen years ago)

http://www.theonion.com/content/news_briefs/timeless_masterpiece_liked

BIG STROON aka the santaclara drug (James Redd and the Blecchs), Thursday, 5 November 2009 16:36 (fifteen years ago)

Area Man Passionate Defender Of What He Imagines Constitution To Be

circa1916, Monday, 16 November 2009 19:18 (fifteen years ago)

The choice of Escondido as the setting = utterly OTM.

Ned Raggett, Monday, 16 November 2009 19:27 (fifteen years ago)

http://www.theonion.com/content/files/images/KellyNewspapers.jpg

luol deng (am0n), Monday, 16 November 2009 19:32 (fifteen years ago)

http://www.theonion.com/content/files/images/Obama_wh.jpg

Darin, Friday, 20 November 2009 17:24 (fifteen years ago)

http://www.theonion.com/content/video/boy_finds_own_real_life_e_t

Love the presenters.

Not the real Village People, Friday, 20 November 2009 19:44 (fifteen years ago)

My adolescence in a nutshell. (Warning: Plays audio.)

Christine Green Leafy Dragon Indigo, Friday, 20 November 2009 21:11 (fifteen years ago)

You know, I'm surprised this hadn't been done yet:

http://www.theonion.com/content/news/nations_music_snobs_protest

Ned Raggett, Monday, 23 November 2009 19:28 (fifteen years ago)

haa

my fave thing to do on the computer is what im doing right now (acoleuthic), Monday, 23 November 2009 19:44 (fifteen years ago)

I saw it earlier but I've been mad busy today

9-1 changed everything (DJ Mencap), Monday, 23 November 2009 19:48 (fifteen years ago)

was also prevented by personal wretchedness felt when catching myself thinking 'hmm, I don't really imagine that Sasha Frere-Jones would big up Dream Theater in this situation, somehow'

9-1 changed everything (DJ Mencap), Monday, 23 November 2009 19:50 (fifteen years ago)

Every Onion music story must reference Steely Dan now, it's a rule.

Of course I want frosting. I'm a Scorpio. (kenan), Tuesday, 24 November 2009 00:57 (fifteen years ago)

A small but especially vocal contingent tirelessly lobbied for the inclusion of at least one selection from Steely Dan's 1977 tour de force Aja, preferably the song "Peg."

"Blatantly dismissing what the U.S. government has done to these men is an unconscionable miscarriage of justice," Pitchfork.com contributor Andy Ragazzo said. "I've been here for nearly six hours, and I haven't heard one person other than myself so much as mention the groundbreaking work of minimal techno and microhouse artist Ricardo Villalobos."

"It almost makes me ashamed to be an American," Ragazzo added

OK who's the ILX inside man at the Onion... fess up!

hulk would smash (Trayce), Tuesday, 24 November 2009 04:24 (fifteen years ago)

the funny thing is that I am one of those music snobs who has complained about the predictable use of metallica to torture prisoners

berberbrebreerbbrerberereerb (Curt1s Stephens), Tuesday, 24 November 2009 04:29 (fifteen years ago)

Little Bummer Boy

http://www.theonion.com/content/files/images/KellyXmasDecor.jpg

Henry Frog (Frogman Henry), Tuesday, 24 November 2009 07:58 (fifteen years ago)

http://www.last.fm/music/Part+Chimp/_/Li%27l+Bummerboy

9-1 changed everything (DJ Mencap), Tuesday, 24 November 2009 08:05 (fifteen years ago)

I like that the obvious label requires a parenthetical aside.

Of course I want frosting. I'm a Scorpio. (kenan), Tuesday, 24 November 2009 10:06 (fifteen years ago)

http://www.theonion.com/content/news/new_device_desirable_old_device

audacity, hubris, overweening pride! (GOTT PUNCH II HAWKWINDZ), Friday, 4 December 2009 12:51 (fifteen years ago)

^^ came here to post that; it describes me to a tee -0-

囧 (dyao), Tuesday, 8 December 2009 02:21 (fifteen years ago)

http://www.theonion.com/content/news/new_study_reveals_most_children

Heartbreakingly OTM

You treat your step-mother with respect, Pantera (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 10 December 2009 16:07 (fifteen years ago)

got two onion compilation for christmas, happy days.

stop grieving, it's only a chicken (darraghmac), Thursday, 10 December 2009 16:08 (fifteen years ago)

http://www.theonion.com/content/ourannualyear09

loving this whole thing

super sexy psycho fantasy world (uh oh I'm having a fantasy), Wednesday, 16 December 2009 18:03 (fifteen years ago)

The one about the Sumerians is killing me.

just a moonful of sugar (Abbott), Wednesday, 16 December 2009 18:18 (fifteen years ago)

Hahah this is great. The "long elaborate timeline" with "15 year old enlightened by Nirvana" in 100BC and again in 1991.

millivanillimillenary (Trayce), Wednesday, 16 December 2009 22:15 (fifteen years ago)

two weeks pass...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mSt1m4NFUl8

un(!)registered (unregistered), Tuesday, 5 January 2010 23:37 (fifteen years ago)

Gay Teen Worried He Might Be Christian

StanM, Wednesday, 13 January 2010 14:41 (fifteen years ago)

They're on to ILX: Man Who Enjoys Thing Informed He Is Wrong

what of the fuck you talkie bout (Pancakes Hackman), Monday, 25 January 2010 16:47 (fifteen years ago)

http://www.theonion.com/content/opinion/as_much_as_i_hated_putting_my

MPx4A, Thursday, 4 February 2010 14:20 (fifteen years ago)

has everybody seen the dedicated Jean Teasdale site? http://hometowns.cyber-net-village.com/Orlando/7302/Rick/sportzone/misc/folders/Jean/index.php

Lee Dorrian Gray (J0hn D.), Thursday, 4 February 2010 14:36 (fifteen years ago)

;_;

xpost

koogs, Thursday, 4 February 2010 14:37 (fifteen years ago)

i went out with jean teasdale in school i think.

genial anarchy (darraghmac), Thursday, 4 February 2010 14:39 (fifteen years ago)

dog story hits a little too close to the bone to bring the lols. :'(

FC Tom Tomsk Club (Merdeyeux), Thursday, 4 February 2010 14:43 (fifteen years ago)

(I'm still waiting for my little guy to wake up too.)

FC Tom Tomsk Club (Merdeyeux), Thursday, 4 February 2010 14:44 (fifteen years ago)

I think we all did, darraghmac.

dyao, Thursday, 4 February 2010 14:46 (fifteen years ago)

dog story seem mean spirited :(

dyao, Thursday, 4 February 2010 14:46 (fifteen years ago)

reminds me of that scene in dumb and dumber where they behead the blind girls parrot and put it back on with foil. and the girl just sits there and pets it and waits for it to talk. made me all sad in fifth grade.

dyao, Thursday, 4 February 2010 14:48 (fifteen years ago)


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