Mystery Science Theater 3000: C/D, S/D.

This lays me out... also another thing my friends and I say - "this is how much pure cocaine I would need to __________"

Slab Bulkhead
Fridge Largemeat
Punt Speedchunk
Butch Deadlift
Bold Bigflank
Splint Chesthair
Flint Ironstag
Bolt Vanderhuge
Thick McRunfast
Blast Hardcheese
Buff Drinklots
Trunk Slamchest
Fist Rockbone
Stump Beefknob
Smash Lampjaw
Punch Rockgroin
Buck Plankchest
Stump Chunkman
Dirk Hardpec
Rip Steakface
Slate Slabrock
Crud Bonemeal
Brick Hardmeat
Whip Slagcheek
Punch Side-iron
Gristle McThornbody
Slate Fistcrunch
Buff Hardback
Bob Johnson (no, wait...)

Here are a few highlights of the administration of Rutherford B. Hayes: In 1877, Reconstruction ended, and Jacques Derrida was named Secretary of Linguistics, and the era of Deconstruction began and continues to this day. Thomas Edison invented the pornograph, beginning the Age of Pornography. President Hayes then passed the Hayes Act, started the Hayes Office, won fame as an American lyric tenor, and became Archibishop of New York in 1919.

After he retired, he founded the original ZZ Top with James Garfield and Chester Allen Arthur; shocked the world with a publicity stunt when, on a bet, he made a tent out of the underwear of William Howard Taft and lived inside for a full year; and later, Hayes retired from the stage and did a series of memorable character parts in Hollywood. Who can forget the time he was slapped by Jacqueline Bisset in the 1971 Universal movie, Airport ? And then, after inventing ringworm, Hayes died. His last words were: "I have only one life to live -- let me live it as a blond!"

THE END.

Oh, and his blood type was AB.

THE END.

Not many *good* films, but it's not impossible to riff on a good movie: M Sampo once said that La Jetée and The Wizard of Oz would be pretty prime experiences. But in general good movies are too engaging -- too distracting -- to use for MSTing.

Richard Basehart is good.

Would anyone like some soup?

ROMMEL'S BUDDY (extolling the married life): "Listen, have you ever seen me so happy?"

JOEL (grouchily deadpan): "Yeah, but you didn't know I was watching."

Yes. People who are kneejerk anti-Mike really annoy me.

I actually think it's the best one in terms of sheer budget-on-screen spectacle -- over the top and overacted at points but beats the fuck out of just about every sort of 'epic fantasy' movie after it (in the non-sci fi trappings sense) until recent days.

the Sampo movie

THE DAY THE EARTH FROZE

"Oh yah, I remember that day..." < / Minnesota grandma twang >

Yes, Sci-Fi Channel episodes are still rerun on Saturday mornings for the time being. Catch them while you can!

"TDTEF" invests its plot with a bit more motivation and reason.

The minor fact that it's based on the Finnish national epic the Kalevala doesn't hurt (and believe it or not, that whole joke about the sampo is straight from the source tales in a way -- nobody really DOES know what a sampo is!).

The movie is about as funny as an average episode, but was designed to be seen in the theaters (which is to say, to be seen with a big group of people). The two times I saw it in the theater, it worked very well. (But yeah, the sketches from the movie aren't all that classic, and the single-camera approach of the TV show just works soooo much better... still, it was nice to see them have a modest budget for once.)

Can anyone ID this episode for me? Sadly, my cable company has some malevolent policy of not providing the sci-fi channel. :-(

During a preview of Contact "From The Producer of Forrest Gump" appears on the screen.

Mike: "So you can't say we didn't warn you."

Volume 1: Bloodlust, Catalina Caper, Creeping Terror, Skydivers
Volume 2: Angels Revenge, Cave Dwellers, Pod People, Shorts vol.1
Volume 3: Atomic Brain, Unearthly, Sidehackers, Shorts vol.2
Volume 4: Girl In Gold Boots, Hamlet, Overdrawn at Memory Bank, Space Mutiny

And I'm thinking of getting her "Manos" to boot...

As for which one, well, if she's a fan of the later seasons when Pearl was in charge, then definitely number 4 (and as it is I think all four of those episodes are among their finest). Volume 1 is mostly Mike as opposed to Joel (if that matters), who just does Catalina Caper, but that and Skydivers are both great, Creeping Terror not far off. But all that said, I'd go with volume 2 for starters -- a fantastic Mike episode, two of Joel's best and some of the best shorts they did. No Mr. B Natural though, which is a crime. (Volume 3 I'd get last -- good episodes but none that immediately standout as spectacular, a couple of the shorts aside).

"Catalina Caper" is a must.

Space Mutiny, fucking Space Mutiny. I have been present to see three or four board regulars see that for The First Time Ever and their glee was uncontrolled. My god, so bad, so wonderfully wonderfully bad. I think I'll watch that one first!

"Whaddaya got me, Rick Astley?"

"The death of Rick Springfield."

"Shake it Ralph Macchio!"

"The Home Economics Story"
"Junior Rodeo Daredevils"
"Body Care & Grooming"
"Cheating"
"A Date With Your Family"
"Why Study Industrial Arts?"
"Chicken of Tomorrow"

A fine selection (even if two of them unfortunately recur from episodes also on DVD).

Angel's Revenge is just insane, especially thanks to the 'special guest stars.' Jack Palance, Peter Lawford, Pat Buttram, Alan Hale, Jim Backus, Arthur Godfrey! What the fuck!

You are dead to me.

"Overdrawn" was fantastic

You live again!