God bless the goddamn Onion

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You know, I'm surprised this hadn't been done yet:

http://www.theonion.com/content/news/nations_music_snobs_protest

Ned Raggett, Monday, 23 November 2009 19:28 (fifteen years ago)

haa

my fave thing to do on the computer is what im doing right now (acoleuthic), Monday, 23 November 2009 19:44 (fifteen years ago)

I saw it earlier but I've been mad busy today

9-1 changed everything (DJ Mencap), Monday, 23 November 2009 19:48 (fifteen years ago)

was also prevented by personal wretchedness felt when catching myself thinking 'hmm, I don't really imagine that Sasha Frere-Jones would big up Dream Theater in this situation, somehow'

9-1 changed everything (DJ Mencap), Monday, 23 November 2009 19:50 (fifteen years ago)

Every Onion music story must reference Steely Dan now, it's a rule.

Of course I want frosting. I'm a Scorpio. (kenan), Tuesday, 24 November 2009 00:57 (fifteen years ago)

A small but especially vocal contingent tirelessly lobbied for the inclusion of at least one selection from Steely Dan's 1977 tour de force Aja, preferably the song "Peg."

"Blatantly dismissing what the U.S. government has done to these men is an unconscionable miscarriage of justice," Pitchfork.com contributor Andy Ragazzo said. "I've been here for nearly six hours, and I haven't heard one person other than myself so much as mention the groundbreaking work of minimal techno and microhouse artist Ricardo Villalobos."

"It almost makes me ashamed to be an American," Ragazzo added

OK who's the ILX inside man at the Onion... fess up!

hulk would smash (Trayce), Tuesday, 24 November 2009 04:24 (fifteen years ago)

the funny thing is that I am one of those music snobs who has complained about the predictable use of metallica to torture prisoners

berberbrebreerbbrerberereerb (Curt1s Stephens), Tuesday, 24 November 2009 04:29 (fifteen years ago)

Little Bummer Boy

http://www.theonion.com/content/files/images/KellyXmasDecor.jpg

Henry Frog (Frogman Henry), Tuesday, 24 November 2009 07:58 (fifteen years ago)

http://www.last.fm/music/Part+Chimp/_/Li%27l+Bummerboy

9-1 changed everything (DJ Mencap), Tuesday, 24 November 2009 08:05 (fifteen years ago)

I like that the obvious label requires a parenthetical aside.

Of course I want frosting. I'm a Scorpio. (kenan), Tuesday, 24 November 2009 10:06 (fifteen years ago)

http://www.theonion.com/content/news/new_device_desirable_old_device

audacity, hubris, overweening pride! (GOTT PUNCH II HAWKWINDZ), Friday, 4 December 2009 12:51 (fifteen years ago)

^^ came here to post that; it describes me to a tee -0-

囧 (dyao), Tuesday, 8 December 2009 02:21 (fifteen years ago)

http://www.theonion.com/content/news/new_study_reveals_most_children

Heartbreakingly OTM

You treat your step-mother with respect, Pantera (Noodle Vague), Thursday, 10 December 2009 16:07 (fifteen years ago)

got two onion compilation for christmas, happy days.

stop grieving, it's only a chicken (darraghmac), Thursday, 10 December 2009 16:08 (fifteen years ago)

http://www.theonion.com/content/ourannualyear09

loving this whole thing

super sexy psycho fantasy world (uh oh I'm having a fantasy), Wednesday, 16 December 2009 18:03 (fifteen years ago)

The one about the Sumerians is killing me.

just a moonful of sugar (Abbott), Wednesday, 16 December 2009 18:18 (fifteen years ago)

Hahah this is great. The "long elaborate timeline" with "15 year old enlightened by Nirvana" in 100BC and again in 1991.

millivanillimillenary (Trayce), Wednesday, 16 December 2009 22:15 (fifteen years ago)

two weeks pass...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mSt1m4NFUl8

un(!)registered (unregistered), Tuesday, 5 January 2010 23:37 (fifteen years ago)

Gay Teen Worried He Might Be Christian

StanM, Wednesday, 13 January 2010 14:41 (fifteen years ago)

They're on to ILX: Man Who Enjoys Thing Informed He Is Wrong

what of the fuck you talkie bout (Pancakes Hackman), Monday, 25 January 2010 16:47 (fifteen years ago)

http://www.theonion.com/content/opinion/as_much_as_i_hated_putting_my

MPx4A, Thursday, 4 February 2010 14:20 (fifteen years ago)

has everybody seen the dedicated Jean Teasdale site? http://hometowns.cyber-net-village.com/Orlando/7302/Rick/sportzone/misc/folders/Jean/index.php

Lee Dorrian Gray (J0hn D.), Thursday, 4 February 2010 14:36 (fifteen years ago)

;_;

xpost

koogs, Thursday, 4 February 2010 14:37 (fifteen years ago)

i went out with jean teasdale in school i think.

genial anarchy (darraghmac), Thursday, 4 February 2010 14:39 (fifteen years ago)

dog story hits a little too close to the bone to bring the lols. :'(

FC Tom Tomsk Club (Merdeyeux), Thursday, 4 February 2010 14:43 (fifteen years ago)

(I'm still waiting for my little guy to wake up too.)

FC Tom Tomsk Club (Merdeyeux), Thursday, 4 February 2010 14:44 (fifteen years ago)

I think we all did, darraghmac.

dyao, Thursday, 4 February 2010 14:46 (fifteen years ago)

dog story seem mean spirited :(

dyao, Thursday, 4 February 2010 14:46 (fifteen years ago)

reminds me of that scene in dumb and dumber where they behead the blind girls parrot and put it back on with foil. and the girl just sits there and pets it and waits for it to talk. made me all sad in fifth grade.

dyao, Thursday, 4 February 2010 14:48 (fifteen years ago)

going out with jean teasdale made me sad in 5th grade

genial anarchy (darraghmac), Thursday, 4 February 2010 14:53 (fifteen years ago)

that dog story is almost perfect in its commitment to cruel comedy

PIES! PIES! PIES! PIES! PIES! (HI DERE), Thursday, 4 February 2010 15:25 (fifteen years ago)

http://www.theonion.com/content/cartoon/feb-01-2010

Editorial cartoons are back, though this one seems out of character for a true, America-lovin' Dem-hatin' patriot like Kelly.

a black white asian pine ghost who is fake (Telephone thing), Thursday, 4 February 2010 23:50 (fifteen years ago)

OMG the Jean Teasdale site. I love the URL, that just makes it perfect.

millivanillimillenary (Trayce), Friday, 5 February 2010 00:20 (fifteen years ago)

Massive Earthquake Reveals Entire Island Civilization Called 'Haiti'

more otm and sad than funny.

dyao, Friday, 5 February 2010 06:23 (fifteen years ago)

"Allowing gays to serve openly in the Army is a long overdue reform, but it must be accompanied by an assurance that heterosexuals will be able to serve openly in the Navy."

MPx4A, Friday, 5 February 2010 12:55 (fifteen years ago)

holy lol

NASA Launches David Bowie Concept Mission

sleepingbag, Monday, 8 February 2010 22:05 (fifteen years ago)

Hahahah @ all the Major toms.

millivanillimillenary (Trayce), Monday, 8 February 2010 22:11 (fifteen years ago)

http://www.theonion.com/content/files/images/KellyNasaBudget.jpg

am0n, Monday, 8 February 2010 22:14 (fifteen years ago)

lol @ "'red' alert"

wall•egina (s1ocki), Monday, 8 February 2010 22:17 (fifteen years ago)

GULP!

am0n, Monday, 8 February 2010 22:24 (fifteen years ago)

lol @ Spock's boneyness, Kirk's stoutness, and Uhura as Lady Liberty (skirt is too long, though).

nickn, Tuesday, 9 February 2010 00:37 (fifteen years ago)

liberty's got olive oyl knees!

international slackness (GOTT PUNCH II HAWKWINDZ), Tuesday, 9 February 2010 02:38 (fifteen years ago)

So does Kirk. And so are the elbows and shoulders.

you gone float up with it (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Tuesday, 9 February 2010 03:56 (fifteen years ago)

Wal-Mart Cuts Over 13,000 Of What It Calls Jobs

international slackness (GOTT PUNCH II HAWKWINDZ), Wednesday, 10 February 2010 11:46 (fifteen years ago)

http://www.theonion.com/content/files/images/Bill-later.jpg

Darin, Friday, 12 February 2010 19:41 (fifteen years ago)

http://www.theonion.com/content/news/20_000_tons_of_pubic_hair_trimmed

goole, Friday, 12 February 2010 19:43 (fifteen years ago)

i love it when they go gross

goole, Friday, 12 February 2010 19:43 (fifteen years ago)

"Bzzzzzzzz," he added. "Timber!"

megalols

you gone float up with it (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Friday, 12 February 2010 21:23 (fifteen years ago)

haaa i came to post that magazine cover

V-E-R-Y (history mayne), Tuesday, 16 February 2010 18:29 (fifteen years ago)

"I'm not going to let corporate America dictate the date or time at which I choose to groom my genitals," said Denver resident Marcus Shannon, adding that Valentine's Day was "invented by the razor industry" to sell grooming devices. "If you really love somebody, you should shave your pubes year-round."

A1

Jarlrmai, Tuesday, 16 February 2010 18:46 (fifteen years ago)


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