don't Search, just Destroy: office birthday cards

We don't do these but we do have leaving cards. Which seem to arrive everyday, morale being what it is. And then we have leaving drinks in the tea room. There's a joint one today actually. Which was tricky cos I couldn't write the same stock phrase in both cards I had to develop a new one. ("good luck in Christchurch")

I like office cards becasue I can write little messages and sign off with a kiss for the people I like and for those I don't: "Best regards, Lara".

I just got handed one of these - it's not a birthday card but a get well card for someone I barely know and who hasn't worked in this office for over a year. The card is accompanied by a checklist of names of everyone in the department with instructions to "sign, check your name off, and hand it to someone unchecked".

Yeah yeah, I'm Nyarlathotep incarnate for hating on people's get well wishes, but again don't search - just destroy.

If a card comes round for someone I dont know, I refuse to sign it. I mean whats the point? Theyre only going to look at it and think "who the hells that?". Plus cards only seem to get done for people leaving or going on maternity leave, and babies make me cranky.

We seem to be doing a lot of leaving cards lately; rats, ship, etc etc.