russell brand - C or D?

And she wants them sacked, sacked, sacked.

dinkle dinkle ballbag

(xpost) ...so she can get publicity, publicity, publicity

dinkle dinkle ballbag

Is that the name of the next Scissor Sisters album?

No, they went out and got a new hype man.

How this will end:
- producer gets sacked
- Brand's career takes a mild (not Deayton sized) beating
- Ross gets off with a slap on the wrist, consequently becomes more unbearable than ever

I guess this means we'll be getting David Jacobs back on Saturday evenings.

"Hello THAAR and welcome to this week's edition of Dinkle Dinkle Ballbag..."

"My guest is the splendid veteran funnyman Mr Andrew Sachs, whom I once bumped into in Shaftesbury Avenue in 1958 while taking refreshing imbibements with dear Richard Wattis..."

Westwood astonished by sudden increase in ratings for his show.

Surely Russell Brand will use this opportunity to fuck off to America?

Hasn't he burned at least some of his boats there post-MTV Awards speech?

Russell can't go to America after he called Bush a retard on national tele.

Is anyone at all surprised that Brand did actually shag the Satanic Slut? he's shagged everyone he's ever met, hasn't he?

I know "Americans will enjoy the worst fucking shit British comedy has to offer" is one of society's great rules, but I think Brand would be a step too far.

After calling Dubya a "retarded cowboy"? Yeah, that's going to work out well... (damn, xposted...)

As if Little Britain USA already wasn't (xp).

Maybe he'll go to Australia

Brand is the person who spent about two weeks on Celebrity Big Brother repeatedly pointing out that Shilpa Shetty was at fault for being racially abused, mainly because he shared an agent with Jade Goody at the time (possibly still does?)

Brand shouldn't go to America. He'll just end up like Steve Martin and Robin Williams, i.e. starring in gloopy, sentimental "comedies" that go straight to video to "broaden" his appeal.

(xxpost) They could feed him ice cream with excrement in it.

Didn't know about the agent connection - well, that says a lot.

Pseudo-Masonic cabals, the one thing that will guarantee that Britain starts getting sent UN food parcels in ooh 2011.

Still, none of this changes the fact that the newspapers are primarily to blame for this.

because he shared an agent with Jade Goody at the time (possibly still does?)

haha did that agent do something spectacularly nasty in a previous life?

http://www.johnnoelmanagement.com/

Seems like Goody has left the agency since then, but they've signed the Queens of Noise to replace her, so that's OK then.

Damn you Dom, so quick of the mark...so, xp...

John Noel - also agent to Davina McCall, Dermot O'Reilly, Matthew Wright.

I think we can see who really should be stopped from working...

repeatedly pointing out that Shilpa Shetty was at fault

Whoa! I don't remember this!

I know he played Devil's advocate on that, many times, but not in relation to that incident...

Still, none of this changes the fact that the newspapers are primarily to blame for this

hmm. chicken and egg, i'd say. i appreciate how hypocritical and gleeful newspapers are being about this, but there is a substantial part of me that says: at last! overpaid drivelling celebs get the beats. ultimately: if RB and JR weren't just sitting there talking ABSOLUTE FUCKING SHIT, there'd be no story.

what's the blame sorry i missed it?

that our country is going down the pan??

Sachs' granddaughter is being represented by Max Clifford. So this is going to run on until Christmas. Or until the economy explodes.

Radio DJs talking shit is not a story though really, is it? xposts

(some slight revisionism/exaggeration going on re. Brand's part in the CBB racism row - as I remember, he wasn't hugely critical of Goody, but he was hardly cheering her on either, and certainly wasn't blaming Shetty)

but did he shag shetty and/or goody

I wondered how long it was going to take Max to get in there...honestly, I could have written this.

"overpaid drivelling celebs" - bit of envy there, Simon?

As you well know, tabloids run on several basic demographic principles, one of the most key is "somewhere, readers, someone is having more fun than you." The job then is to assuage and flatter their readers, those who've settled for the mediocre middle ground, those who missed their chances to exceed themselves, or turned them down, and now grind away in joyless jobs for fear of the bailiffs.

So it's hardly surprising that papers like the Mail are happy to exploit this envy in the sense of "taking them down a peg" - i.e. reducing them to the level of their readers when their job should be vice versa - and issue hypocritical howls of canting mock-outrage at a student-level prank joke on a Saturday evening radio show aimed at a young, student audience.

Kenny Everett would have relished all this if he'd lived to see it.

I bet he'd have shagged... oh wait

"overpaid drivelling celebs" - bit of envy there, Simon?

But Brand really is untalented, and has never been funny

I can bear Ross as a presenter sometimes, but he ruined They Think Its All Over for me.

On the contrary, Brand is about the only "funny" broadcaster on R2. Ross is frequently funny on his show as well but to a great extent that depends on who his guests are.

ah well, i disagree. apples and oranges etc.

Brand was funny a couple of years ago - now instead of jokes he just says "ooohh my dinkle!!!". Ross needs to be reminded that "chat show" doesn't mean that he continually interrupts his guests and makes unfunny scripted crap jokes over the top of them.

That's why I prefer him on the radio where he's naturally funny, improvises and doesn't rely on scripts.

I think both are occasionally very funny indeed, but both are also massively prone to indulgent and aimless ego-stroking wittering. The two together is like a pair of schoolkids egging each other on to swear so much the teacher gives them detention. Which is kind of pathetic given how potentially talented they both are.

Like Pete and Dud weren't.

Or Milligan and Sellers.

Which exonerates Brand and Ross how?

They're both cunts, I'll be happy if their careers are in tatters.

I actually like both of them when they are doing what they are good at, though both have strayed way from their comfort zone through the media's insistence on overexposure of "popular" celebs (see also Myleene Klass, Anton DuBeke, Carol Vorderman, Kerry Katona, Katie Price, Jade Goody, etc etc etc) to the point where they think they can get away with anything because they are so popular and loved, when basically they were just liked for doing what they used to do before they got turned into poster children for taking the fucking piss and irritating the fuck out of everyone with their omnipresence.

HI DERE I HVAE BAALSACK!

The video footage of them making the calls immediately made me think of Derek and Clive.

"I'll be happy if their careers are in tatters" - come off it Matt, if you were them you'd love every second of this and you want their lifestyle so much, as do we all. Be honest!

OH NO LAST NIGHT I DID A POO ON UR GRANDDAGHTER'S FLANGE

"I'll be happy if their careers are in tatters" - come off it Matt, if you were them you'd love every second of this and you want their lifestyle so much, as do we all. Be honest!

what does the first bit have to do with the second bit?

Not as easy as it looks, is it, Ken?

apropos Brand impersonation

Their careers in tatters = even more airtime for Graham Norton.