God bless the goddamn Onion

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Someone should just post this on like 75% if the ILM threads.

http://www.theonion.com/articles/not-very-good-album-takes-a-little-while-to-get-in,17425/

Darin, Friday, 14 May 2010 15:35 (fourteen years ago) link

(when you click the above link and you get an error -> just add the / yourself in the address bar)

StanM, Tuesday, 18 May 2010 17:34 (fourteen years ago) link

That prospector is genius, and not too far removed from reality. Kind of like when Fey played Palin by simply repeating whatever stupid things Palin had said.

Josh in Chicago, Tuesday, 18 May 2010 17:56 (fourteen years ago) link

New Social Networking Site Changing The Way Oh, Christ, Forget It

aunched last year, Foursquare is unique in that it not only allows users to broadcast their whereabouts, but also offers a number of built-in incentives, including some innovative new crap The New York Times surely has a throbbing hard-on for.

In fact, why don't we just let them report on this garbage and call it a day?

"Foursquare is a little bit of everything—a friend-finder, a local city guide, an interactive mobile game," said company cofounder Dennis Crowley, as if reading from the same tired script used by every one of these Web 2.0 or whatever-the-fuck-they're-called startups. "But more than that, Foursquare is an [endless string of meaningless buzzwords we just couldn't bring ourselves to transcribe]."

all yoga attacks are fire based (rogermexico.), Friday, 21 May 2010 23:31 (fourteen years ago) link

zang
i love the times piece at the end

forksclovetofu, Saturday, 22 May 2010 18:20 (fourteen years ago) link

OK, this, right here, is one of the best Onion articles I've seen, because it makes you want to high five it for laying out for you the reasons something pisses you off that you were never able to clearly orchestrate. Like that last sentence sort of.

http://www.theonion.com/articles/new-social-networking-site-changing-the-way-oh-chr,17465/

Evan, Wednesday, 26 May 2010 04:48 (fourteen years ago) link

Linked a couple of posts back there...

Ned Raggett, Wednesday, 26 May 2010 04:55 (fourteen years ago) link

Oh crap I looked right past it. I can always count on you to point out my mistakes, Ned.

Evan, Wednesday, 26 May 2010 14:14 (fourteen years ago) link

God bless the goddamn Onion

Fetchboy, Monday, 7 June 2010 16:46 (fourteen years ago) link

:D

killer final line

Mark Ronson: "Led Zeppelin were responsible for hip-hop" (acoleuthic), Monday, 7 June 2010 16:49 (fourteen years ago) link

that's pretty awesome, even though i can't imagine nyt magazine using stock images

dell (del), Friday, 11 June 2010 22:45 (fourteen years ago) link

dont think thats the point

its like why GROCERY BAG and not saddam? (deej), Saturday, 12 June 2010 17:30 (fourteen years ago) link

dont think thats the point

― its like why GROCERY BAG and not saddam? (deej), Saturday, June 12, 2010 5:30 PM (4 days ago) Bookmark

disagree, seems the true intention of the joke is not lost on dell, in fact if i may be so bold as to suggest that it appears he is a viking at 'getting it'

del griffith, Wednesday, 16 June 2010 17:55 (fourteen years ago) link

obviously its a joke about stock images -- i dont think that means its explicitly parodying the ny mag's use of stock images though

its like why GROCERY BAG and not saddam? (deej), Thursday, 17 June 2010 05:37 (fourteen years ago) link

OK this is weird, I know the guy in this photo!
http://www.theonion.com/articles/eons-of-darwinian-evolution-somehow-produce-mitch,17635

jaymc, Monday, 21 June 2010 15:59 (fourteen years ago) link

(And actually, Mordy does, too. Turns out the photo was taken when he was touring the Onion offices with a group of ¥3$h1v@ students last year.)

jaymc, Tuesday, 22 June 2010 03:47 (fourteen years ago) link

http://www.theonion.com/articles/obamas-weekly-video-addresses-becoming-increasingl,17649/

"This is an abhorrent waste of federal funds," Grover Norquist of Americans for Tax Reform said of Obama's May 13 video, timestamp. "How can a man overseeing the largest deficit in history justify spending our hard-earned money on some artsy video of him signing the same bill over and over again for 14 straight hours as the distant sound of children's laughter grows in intensity until it becomes unbearably loud and then the entire thing ends with footage of an atom bomb going off? It's just despicable."

"Do we really want our tax dollars going toward something so clearly derivative of Sadie Benning's early works?" Norquist added.

C.R.E.P.E (Trayce), Friday, 2 July 2010 03:35 (fourteen years ago) link

four weeks pass...

http://www.theonion.com/video/alqaeda-calls-off-attack-on-nations-capitol-to-spa,17688/

I don't know how old this is but I laughed hard and hearty

Vlad the Inhaler (Noodle Vague), Sunday, 1 August 2010 22:51 (thirteen years ago) link

lol @ "Jennifer Aniston Adopts 33-Year-Old Boyfriend From Africa" in the related vids

r|t|c, Monday, 2 August 2010 00:01 (thirteen years ago) link

CORRECTIONS: Actor Peter Sarsgaard's name was misspelled in a photo caption accompanying a story about the upcoming release of Green Lantern. We were unaware that our readers knew how to spell his name correctly. The Onion regrets the error.

he's always been a bit of an anti-climb Max (jon /via/ chi 2.0), Friday, 20 August 2010 00:37 (thirteen years ago) link

Desperate Pandora Employees Scrambling To Find Song Area Man Likes

"It's called 'Steely Dan Radio,' for Christ's sake—why does he keep skipping over Donald Fagen's 'The Nightfly'?"

diamonddave85, Saturday, 21 August 2010 19:26 (thirteen years ago) link

"Here's a guitar. Go write your own damn song, but don't come back crying to us if it sucks."

Christine Green Leafy Dragon Indigo, Saturday, 21 August 2010 21:25 (thirteen years ago) link

Awesome and timely.

Man Already Knows Everything He Needs To Know About Muslims

http://o.onionstatic.com/images/articles/article/17990/Man-Already-large.jpg
Gentries made a conscious decision to stop learning anything new about the Muslim faith on May 22, 2005.

Jaw dropping, thong dropping monster (kingfish), Monday, 30 August 2010 18:15 (thirteen years ago) link

barely sitirical though :/

FORTIFIED STEAMED VEGETABLE BOWL (schlump), Monday, 30 August 2010 20:54 (thirteen years ago) link

I never liked that damn Tipper Gore - anyone with a name like Tipper must be a bitchtard.

Latham Green, Tuesday, 31 August 2010 03:03 (thirteen years ago) link

that article kind of almost made me move yesterday.

this isn't STRAWBERRY 0_o it's RAWBERRY (forksclovetofu), Friday, 3 September 2010 15:01 (thirteen years ago) link

15+ people on my facebook feed all shared it

max, Friday, 3 September 2010 15:03 (thirteen years ago) link

stuff is always less funny when other people find it funny

max, Friday, 3 September 2010 15:03 (thirteen years ago) link

"nobody goes there any more, it's too popular"

progressive cuts (Tracer Hand), Friday, 3 September 2010 15:05 (thirteen years ago) link

lol NYC slideshow

StanM, Friday, 3 September 2010 15:09 (thirteen years ago) link

the funniest quote is Woody Allen's

kind of shrill and very self-righteous (Dr Morbius), Friday, 3 September 2010 15:10 (thirteen years ago) link

Hmmm, where previously there would be one "Continue to The Onion »" advert on first entering the site, I'm now having to click through this on every link to a text article. I understand they need to advertise, but this really annoying. (AV Club is affected by this too).

Bill A, Thursday, 9 September 2010 10:39 (thirteen years ago) link

"IS really annoying".

Bill A, Thursday, 9 September 2010 10:40 (thirteen years ago) link

I clicked the last 5 links above here and did not see this - I'm using Firefox & Adblock Plus

StanM, Thursday, 9 September 2010 13:57 (thirteen years ago) link

Yeah - it's ok again on mine too (Firefox, no Adblock though). Must have been a glitch - every ad was for the Onion Store, and whilst I love the "chocaholic but for booze" t-shirts it was a little grating.

Bill A, Thursday, 9 September 2010 19:32 (thirteen years ago) link

http://www.theonion.com/articles/guy-carrying-guitar-case-on-elevator-envied-by-eve,18053/

Pay-off line is great.

Neil S, Sunday, 12 September 2010 12:16 (thirteen years ago) link

Needs to be a prospectus-style promotional video soundtracked by the obvious Sparks song

(youtube probably best not listened to on speakers at work, as if you couldn't guess)

patapon pataphysics (a passing spacecadet), Wednesday, 22 September 2010 08:48 (thirteen years ago) link

three weeks pass...

true, except with the letter setting rather than landscape.

Antoine Bugleboy (Merdeyeux), Saturday, 16 October 2010 02:27 (thirteen years ago) link


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