Words, usages, and phrases that annoy the shit out of you...

I also have a horror of people who write prolifically in all caps.

This is true.

But, this is a topic that should be dealt with routinely and harshly... the only way we can correct the language and suppress it's organic growth is by exposing and banning every new usage as it occurs... Isn't that what the French do?

Also: 'fridge,' girls who refer to each other as 'girl,' proactive...i'll be back when i think of more....

'poetic justice'. Used by the lazy to describe all 'justice' the speaker approves of, instead of a particular type. The adjective is rendered meaningless.

Agree re 'bird' for woman/girl, and lament its threatened return. Stinks of 'I'm being un-PC, where's my medal?'. Also the C-person uses it, which kinda ends the argument.

Wait, huh? Fridge is the thing you put food in, whats wrong with it?

I'm picturing him saying things such as "Would you like me to remove another beverage from the refrigerator for you, whilst we watch some association football?"

As used to describe a footballer running into a streak of good form

When used in phrases like "a raft of policies" or "a raft of new measures" - why?!?!??!!?

Or a colon.

COINKY-DINK, "guestimate," and any time someone ends an interrogative sentence with "at," as in "Where's my keys at?" or "Where's your head at?"

"hating on"

"Action" used as a verb. (Especially with regards to some annoying little thing I had already been doing.) "Can you please action this?" Actually, no I can't. Action is a noun. If you would like me to DO it, then just ask. Argh.

Especially when coming from the same irritating marketing bods who last week asked me to "manage the relationship" with one of our suppliers. Fuck. Right. Off.

A term of address directed at Turkish shopkeepers by 13 year old boys and directed by Turkish shopkeepers at everyone else. The most annoying ever.

DON'T MADAM ME, YOU LITTLE...!!! OK, according to Watching The English, this means that they have socio-status assessed me as middle class or higher. But it irritates me because it makes me feel old.

'Whilst'

in Appalachia you might say "I done did it"

needs changed to my mind indubitably more correct than needs changing

i dont want you back to me amidst the change

someone's hair "wants" cutting is fairly easily recognised as "in want of" imo

a lot of objections raised here are all but hate speech against regional language ofc and all offerings have to be weighed up very carefully

submissions need weighed, posts want thinking about

the "do" offered in first example idk idk

suzy’s “could do” is a CLASSIC example of what seems brit-foreign to my ear. “could… do? do what? the prev referent? or— what?!”

"will do" is terrible, i hate it

with little offshoot orphans like that i usually translate it to french or irish to see if i can spot where it might have come from

beats getting mad about it

I will say the following:
Needs fixed
Was fixing to

suzy’s “could do” is a CLASSIC example of what seems brit-foreign

But "Can do!" probably sounds mellifluous, right? that old yankee, roll-up-your-sleeves spirit

can do! will do! are known slangy forms. very stand alone.

the do’s i’m thinking of are more like, lashed into full communication strings or whatever.

re: fixing to— good fun one.

even as a yankee my favorite perceived southernism is “might could.” i’ll use it for its odd disjunction to my usual style.

where americans would allow a hanging “to,” you always insert a “do,” which is both not the expected infinitive verb and sounds weird as hell. there’s also a gerund format of this behavio(u)r and i can’t spontaneously do one for you, i’m fucking vacuuming.

― viking voyages were all inclusive: leg irons, murdered children (Hunt3r), Tuesday, September 15, 2026 10:31 PM (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

i've noticed british people doing this with the present perfect tense, as in the following example:

A: You haven't done any work today at all!
B: Yes I have done!

Whereas Americans would normall clip this to "Yes I have!"

this doesn't annoy me ftr

again, exactly. i’m poor at explaining my issue.

*brit pose* and i say, it’s a minor one really.

which is both not the expected infinitive verb

right, this is where it gets weird. like responding to "Have you walked the dog today?" with "I have done"

or maybe they only say it to affirm a negatively worded question? -- "You haven't walked the dog yet?" -- "I have done"

Brits please weigh in

"Do you want to meet up on Thursday?" "Yeah, I could do."

Like that?

My local “fixing to” variant is “about to.”

Did you sweep the floor?

I was about to.

i've noticed british people doing this with the present perfect tense, as in the following example:

A: You haven't done any work today at all!
B: Yes I have done!

Whereas Americans would normall clip this to "Yes I have!"

I'm wondering who these British people are tbh.

The correct response of course is "piss off"

I think if you drop the "yes" it sounds much more plausible. "I have done". Having the yes as well is one defiance too many.

needs must

Regional variants, most British people wouldn't say it.

I'm unable to say "where is it" without instinctively wanting to add "to?" but that's a SW thing

or maybe they only say it to affirm a negatively worded question? -- "You haven't walked the dog yet?" -- "I have done"

Brits please weigh in

Let me see, I'll ask AI...

Mrs Gillespie: "Bob, you haven't walked the dog yet?"

Boaby: "Aye ah huv but ah'm no' fuckin' happy aboot it! It wis your idea tae get a fuckin' dug so how come ah'm the wan who hus tae walk the wee cunt? It's no' exactly good fur ma image is it? Fuckin' world renowned rock 'n' roll star mincin' aboot wi' a fuckin' Poodle at the end o' a fuckin' leash..."

Mrs Gillespie: "He's a Bichon Frisé."

Boaby: "Well, whatever the fuck it is, whit if wan o' ma fans sees us? I'd be black affrontit! In fact, ah wis oot walkin' the wee pest yisterday when who should ah see marchin' up the road taewards us but fuckin' Alan McGee, hud tae fuckin' dive intae a shoap doorway so he didnae clock us. Can ye imagine whit that wee rat McGee woulda said if he'd seen me? He'd've totally ripped the fuckin' pish oot me, that's whit! Ah'd never live it fuckin' doon, man! Here... haud oan... that's ma fuckin' phone... hullo?"

McGee: *muffled voice*

Boaby: "Awright McGee, whit dae you wahnt, ya wee rat?"

McGee: *muffled voice*

Boaby: "Ye whit? Saw me the other day? Don't 'hink so, mate..."

McGee: *muffled voice*

Boaby: "Me wi' a dug? Ye're haverin', wee man..."

McGee: *muffled voice*

Boaby: "Whit, two in the efternin? Nah, ah wis eh... hingin' oot wi' Liam at the time, we'd errrr jist rolled oot o' bed ..."

McGee: *muffled voice*

Boaby: "Naw, no' thegither, ya cheeky article..."

McGee: *muffled voice*

Boaby: "Definitely wisnae me, wee man..."

McGee: *muffled voice*

Boaby: "Right... awright... aye ah know, 3-0, too easy fur the fuckin' Teddy Berrs but, here, remember ah'm supposed tae be a Celtic fan..."

McGee: *muffled voice*

Boaby: "Right, see ye aroon, wee yin."

Puts the phone down.

Boaby: "Whit did ah fuckin' tell ye? Talk aboot a narra fuckin' escape! Ye listenin' tae me therr?"

Mrs Gillespie: "Sorry, I was distracted, Alan just posted a simply adorable photo on the Primal Scream Facebook page..."

Boaby: "Whit? Let me see that... FUUUCCCKKKKKK!!!!"

So the answer appears to be no.

You asked Och I for that.

peace to peace man pro grammarians have precedence, i defer

― viking voyages were all inclusive: leg irons, murdered children (Hunt3r), Tuesday, September 15, 2026 2:54 PM (yesterday) bookmarkflaglink

I'm just foolin' around. People can say things how they want. But "needs warshed" is definitely a flag to me that someone is new in town and they're from Pittsburgh.

Or Ohio

St Louis, too

the phrase-final use of do used in (some) British dialects is a pro-verb that refers to an already-introduced verb:

Have you unpacked your things yet? -> I have done (ref. unpacked)

It's not a use-it or not-use-it distinction though, as variants of it are found in different contexts in most English dialects:

Have you tried these petit fours? -> No. -> Please do!

or

You should order the petit fours for dessert! -> That's what I was gonna do!

or

Go to bed early since we have to wake up at 6am tomorrow. -> I will do so.

and of course

I'm going to jump off this bridge! -> Don't!

i am so satisfied and informed re my comment by all. thanky.

They do, though, don't they, though?