Beards : Classic or Dud?

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beards on dads are classic. beardy man bands like The Band are classic. as for physical attractiveness, beards don't do it for me, too daddish.

di smith (lucylurex), Monday, 2 June 2003 10:55 (twenty-one years ago) link

dangerous sex pest dad sounds like a strip in viz

mark s (mark s), Monday, 2 June 2003 11:23 (twenty-one years ago) link

the only people who look good in a moustache are my dad, tom sellick, sam elliot & tom skerritt! moustaches are generally bad, but i agree that dad's can get away with it. beards without moustaches are definitely dud!

Pinkpanther (Pinkpanther), Monday, 2 June 2003 11:37 (twenty-one years ago) link

I can't bring myself to care either way these days.

Nicole (Nicole), Monday, 2 June 2003 11:39 (twenty-one years ago) link

beards without moustaches are definitely dud

now this i beg to differ on. apart from sting's recent attempt at this look, abe lincoln and several thousand amish people can't be wrong. it's one of those thing's that's just so wrong it's right - so long as you're not sting...

Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Monday, 2 June 2003 12:05 (twenty-one years ago) link

Let's face it, anything Sting tries is just going to chuckleheaded because it is Sting.

Nicole (Nicole), Monday, 2 June 2003 12:16 (twenty-one years ago) link

The acceptibility of the ridiculous facial hair like the moustacheless beard is one of the few great things about current hipster fashion. (One of the few things: as I say in my friendster profile, I have declared a fashion jihad against those who wear trucker caps at odd angles.) What with its unhep antecedents -- the Amish, Lincoln and the Notre Dame mascot -- it's perverse enough to be charming without being grossly unnatural. I want one. Plus, the practicality of it is very clear to me. I have a beard now, and since the moustache isn't long enough to shape with wax, I keep getting my moustache hairs caught in my mouth. Plus, it's difficult to negotiate getting food in my mouth with all this hair around it.

Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Monday, 2 June 2003 12:34 (twenty-one years ago) link

Going beyond even the moustacheless beard there's the neck beard, which is almost always dud to the max, but there are still possibilities of aesthetically pleasing applications.

nickalicious (nickalicious), Monday, 2 June 2003 12:45 (twenty-one years ago) link

the neck beard? WTF?

Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Monday, 2 June 2003 12:49 (twenty-one years ago) link

what about the shoulderbeard!?! dan hedaya in aliens 4 to thread!!

mark s (mark s), Monday, 2 June 2003 12:51 (twenty-one years ago) link

neck beard = upper lip & cheeks shorn clean, hair growing from chin-on-down...quite Amish-y

nickalicious (nickalicious), Monday, 2 June 2003 13:00 (twenty-one years ago) link

Nick actually has a pretty great beard from what I've seen of it.

The neck-only beard is going too far. If there are aesthetically pleasing ones in existence, somebody should post an example.

Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Monday, 2 June 2003 13:03 (twenty-one years ago) link

neck beard = upper lip & cheeks shorn clean, hair growing from chin-on-down...quite Amish-y

in which case i like it!

Dave Stelfox (Dave Stelfox), Monday, 2 June 2003 13:04 (twenty-one years ago) link

Dud.

Ben Mott (Ben Mott), Monday, 2 June 2003 15:20 (twenty-one years ago) link

The neck beard is just terrible, terrible, terrible.

s1utsky (slutsky), Monday, 2 June 2003 15:23 (twenty-one years ago) link

I've given up on trying to grow a beard.

jel -- (jel), Monday, 2 June 2003 15:26 (twenty-one years ago) link

do try jel. I think you'd lok great with a beard.

Julio Desouza (jdesouza), Monday, 2 June 2003 15:38 (twenty-one years ago) link

I like bald men with that Amish beard - they look as if their heads are on upside down.

I had a full beard for many years, due largely to laziness about shaving, but I think they're pretty dud.

Martin Skidmore (Martin Skidmore), Monday, 2 June 2003 19:10 (twenty-one years ago) link

I had that bald/Amish look last Halloween.

s1utsky (slutsky), Monday, 2 June 2003 19:16 (twenty-one years ago) link

I like bald men with that Amish beard

There's a guy I work with that has that look. He's also k-skinny and wears, like, workshirts -- so I call him the Amish Punk.

As for me, I've had a (non-Amish) beard for the last five months. People seem to like it, so I'm keeping it, for now at least.

jaymc (jaymc), Monday, 2 June 2003 19:19 (twenty-one years ago) link

There's a real honest-to-gum Fascist (ie runs for mayor under the [presumably one-man] White Minnesota Working Man's Party) who hangs out in coffee shops near the university. He's got the no-stache Amish thing going.

I like beards, and could grow one, but the skin underneath gets unhealthy pretty quick for me, I'm afraid.

g--ff c-nn-n (gcannon), Monday, 2 June 2003 19:25 (twenty-one years ago) link

I tried to have a full beard for about a year and failed. Thus, I wear a goatee due to my complete lack of chin and my wife's belief that men must have beards.

Colin Meeder (Mert), Monday, 2 June 2003 19:26 (twenty-one years ago) link

i have the amish beard naturally. hair on my face just doesnt grow at all, and i can never be bothered to shave the hair on my neck

webber (webber), Tuesday, 3 June 2003 00:30 (twenty-one years ago) link

george lucas is the finest wearer of neck beards, bar none.

Chris Radford (Chris Radford), Tuesday, 3 June 2003 01:42 (twenty-one years ago) link

Nonononono. Yuck. Totally dud.

ThErEdNeD (ThErEdNeD), Tuesday, 3 June 2003 18:41 (twenty-one years ago) link

five months pass...
HA HA! This thread comes up #1 on Yahoo! for "amish beard"!

Michael Daddino (epicharmus), Sunday, 30 November 2003 18:25 (twenty years ago) link

two years pass...
i need some beard trimming tips

howell huser (chaki), Tuesday, 24 January 2006 00:23 (eighteen years ago) link

Wahl Groomsman is a very good trimmer. No frills, sturdy. I had one for 15 years until it wore out. Replaced it with the Wahl Trim & Vac: NOT RECOMMENDED. IT IS CHEAP SHIT.

truck-patch pixel farmer (my crop froze in the field) (Rock Hardy), Tuesday, 24 January 2006 00:45 (eighteen years ago) link

Also, the Groomsman costs about 1/3 of the other, and fits in the hand better.

truck-patch pixel farmer (my crop froze in the field) (Rock Hardy), Tuesday, 24 January 2006 00:46 (eighteen years ago) link

is it common for girls to want a beard?

cozen (Cozen), Tuesday, 24 January 2006 00:48 (eighteen years ago) link

two months pass...
Paul Bunyan, Modern-Day Sex Symbol

March 23, 2006
Paul Bunyan, Modern-Day Sex Symbol

By ERIC WILSON
LAST December John Martin sat in on a focus group for a trend-forecasting company at which young professionals were asked about their grooming habits. Mr. Martin found he had nothing useful to contribute. His shaving regimen involves the use of a razor about as frequently as the seasons change.

"Everyone else was chiming in about the products they use," said Mr. Martin, the advertising director for Vice, a lad magazine based in Williamsburg, Brooklyn. "I was totally mystified. I blanked."

Mr. Martin's idea of a style symbol, seriously, is Ulysses S. Grant, whose beard he came to admire after watching the 2003 Civil War-era drama "Cold Mountain." Two years ago, when he began experimenting with different beard styles, which he described as ranging from neat to burly to unkempt, his facial hair was an expression of individuality in a tide of metrosexual conformity. Now 10 of his 15 co-workers at Vice wear full, bushy beards. In that, they vie with the pro-facial-hair contingent of an editorial rival, Spin, where a rash of new beards has broken out.

"It's a sign of the times," Mr. Martin said. "People are into beards right now."

At hipster hangouts and within fashion circles, the bearded revolution that began with raffishly trimmed whiskers a year or more ago has evolved into full-fledged Benjamin Harrisons. At New York Fashion Week last month at least a half-dozen designers turned up with furry faces.

"This is some sort of reaction to men who look scrubbed, shaved, plucked and waxed," said the designer Bryan Bradley, who stepped onto the runway after his Tuleh presentation looking like a renegade from the John Bartlett show, at which more than half the models wore beards: untidy ones that scaled a spectrum from wiry to ratty to shabby to fully bushy.

"It's less 'little boy,' " Mr. Bradley said. "For a while men have looked too much like Boy Scouts going off to day camp."

On city streets, too, trends in scruff have reached new levels of unruliness, a backlash, some beard enthusiasts say, against the heightened grooming expectations that were unleashed with the rise of metrosexuality as a cultural trend. Men both straight and gay, it appears, want to feel rough and manly.

Other designers who appeared in scruffy beards during Fashion Week included Brian Kirkby of Boudicca, Nathan Jenden and Matthew Williamson. Santino Rice gave the look national exposure on "Project Runway" this season, with weekly variations. Among the models that Ralph Lauren cast in his men's show was a wildly bearded young man with long tresses, like Brad Pitt circa 2002.

And with their fully furry chins Ariel Foxman and Bruce Pask, the editor in chief and the style director, respectively, of Cargo magazine, the metrosexual manifesto, seem now to be endorsing a lumberjack ideal.

"It's a nice masculine aesthetic," said Robert Tagliapietra, who with his similarly bearded partner, Jeffrey Costello, designs a collection of pretty silk jersey dresses under the Costello Tagliapietra label. "We both like that aesthetic of New England cabins with antlers on the wall, plaid shirts and a beard."

Beyond the fashion world, any number of celebrities are exhibiting luxuriant facial hair, including George Clooney with a Hussein-like beard in "Syriana"; Heath Ledger in GQ, looking like Snoopy's sad cousin, Spike (the beagle with a skinny mustache who is always depressed); and Mel Gibson on a good day. At the New York premiere of "V for Vendetta" last week, Hugo Weaving appeared (with his co-star Natalie Portman, an adopter of last summer's iteration of the Mohawk) in the beard of the moment, grown for the stage production of "Hedda Gabler."John Allan, the owner of several clublike grooming salons in New York, reports seeing newly bearded customers, but not enough to warrant concerns for the health of his shaving business.

"It will be interesting to see over the next six to eight months what mainland America is going to do with it," Mr. Allan said. "For the past several years we've been stripping guys of their body hair. Maybe now it's time for the pendulum to swing the other way."

Whenever a countercultural trend becomes a mainstream one, there is a natural tendency to look for deeper meaning. Do beards that call to mind Charles Manson suggest dissatisfaction with "the system"? Are broody beards, like the dark and somber mood of the fall fashion collections, physical manifestations of a melancholia in the air? Are they a reflection of the stylistic impact on mainstream fashion of the subculture of gay men known as bears, who embrace natural body hair?

But such theories seem to have less relevance — and beards less shock value — than they once did.

"Style has separated itself from viewpoint," said Tim Harrington, the lead singer of the rock band Les Savy Fav, who is known for his full beard and balding head. "This is not like when beards were worn by hippies. Now you pick a style for aesthetic reasons as opposed to a viewpoint. I wonder if beards can have the oomph they once had when it feels like someone will ask you: 'Where did you get that beard? Is that beard from Dolce & Gabbana?' "

No survey ever conducted about women's attitudes toward beards, even those not underwritten by the Gillette Company, has indicated that more than 2 or 3 percent of women would describe a full beard as sexy. ("I hang out with those girls who are in that 2 or 3 percent," Mr. Martin, of Vice, said.)

Yet the return of the wild beard carries a certain erotic charge that has been missing from beards since the Furry Freak look of the 1970's, or at least those who grow them hope they do.

Andrew Deutsch, a designer of interactive Web videos, swears that having a beard has changed his life, giving him an air of confidence. "I met my current girlfriend a week after I started growing my beard in November," Mr. Deutsch said. Now he finds himself constantly touching and stroking the beard, as if it were a talisman. "It's like a security blanket on my face," he said.

That a full beard can suddenly look right — or, more accurately, not so awful — illustrates how quickly ideals of masculinity can change.

"You know, it's funny," said Lola Phonpadith, a public relations manager for the fashion company BCBG. "I've been talking about this with my friends for weeks. I'm kind of into guys with beards today, and I'm embarrassed to say that. But the pretty-boy look can only last for so long."

The Equator Lounge (Chris Barrus), Saturday, 25 March 2006 00:17 (eighteen years ago) link

Hooray, I'm in style — or, more accurately, not so awful

pixel farmer (Rock Hardy), Saturday, 25 March 2006 00:26 (eighteen years ago) link

Santino Rice gave the look national exposure on "Project Runway" this season

That's different. That's a kind-of beard. I can't grow that beard. I look like Paul Bunyan by three pm.

Joe Polniaczek (kenan), Saturday, 25 March 2006 00:36 (eighteen years ago) link

And who wants to run the risk of being called "Devendra" behind his back?

Joe Polniaczek (kenan), Saturday, 25 March 2006 00:39 (eighteen years ago) link

hotness:

http://www.nndb.com/people/015/000024940/buckinham02.jpg

s/c (Jody Beth Rosen), Saturday, 25 March 2006 01:11 (eighteen years ago) link

Mick Fleetwod?

Joe Polniaczek (kenan), Saturday, 25 March 2006 01:28 (eighteen years ago) link

Oh! I was so close!

Joe Polniaczek (kenan), Saturday, 25 March 2006 01:31 (eighteen years ago) link

http://southsidecallbox.com/ilx/beards.jpg

s/c (Jody Beth Rosen), Saturday, 25 March 2006 01:35 (eighteen years ago) link

Stevie is interesting. I can't tell whether that look says "fuck me" or "bring me a bowl of soup."

Joe Polniaczek (kenan), Saturday, 25 March 2006 01:39 (eighteen years ago) link

it's saying let's get this over with because my dealer's supposed to be here in ten minutes.

s/c (Jody Beth Rosen), Saturday, 25 March 2006 01:40 (eighteen years ago) link

Ah yes. That would explain everything.

Joe Polniaczek (kenan), Saturday, 25 March 2006 01:41 (eighteen years ago) link

Lindsay is totally checking out Christine in that photo

The Equator Lounge (Chris Barrus), Saturday, 25 March 2006 01:44 (eighteen years ago) link

Why, we'll never know. Christine looks like my boss when she's angry at me.

Joe Polniaczek (kenan), Saturday, 25 March 2006 01:46 (eighteen years ago) link

Anyway, kind of back on topic, I think I can agree that the bearded men in that photo out-hot the women in it by a long way.

Joe Polniaczek (kenan), Saturday, 25 March 2006 01:49 (eighteen years ago) link

I never noticed how hot Stevie was back in the day.

Erick Dampier is better than Shaq (miloaukerman), Saturday, 25 March 2006 01:50 (eighteen years ago) link

i want to fuck everyone in that photo. < /anthony easton>

s/c (Jody Beth Rosen), Saturday, 25 March 2006 01:51 (eighteen years ago) link

At the same time? Ick. Too hairy. Even for the seventies.

Joe Polniaczek (kenan), Saturday, 25 March 2006 01:51 (eighteen years ago) link

http://www.themave.com/bijou/cvrs/taywyckcvr.jpg

timmy tannin (pompous), Saturday, 25 March 2006 06:03 (eighteen years ago) link

Banhart's beard: classic
http://www.furious.com/perfect/graphics/devandra.jpg

Eva van Rein (Gaia1981), Saturday, 25 March 2006 07:21 (eighteen years ago) link

http://www.coupland.com/news/images/doug&chuck2006sm.jpg
This is the only pic I can find of Douglas Coupland and his beard, makes him look like George V AND 10 years older. But I still like it. I wish my beard would go all grey and distinguished.

Ned T.Rifle (nedtrifle), Saturday, 25 March 2006 08:20 (eighteen years ago) link

I’ve never grown a massive beard. I just keep a good, full covering.

I am a neckshaver though, to my shame. My neck coverage is patchy, so I even it up every Monday morning.

Hey Bob (Scik Mouthy), Friday, 24 November 2017 18:38 (six years ago) link

Xxp because they're dead

fake pato is kind of racist, dude (darraghmac), Friday, 24 November 2017 18:49 (six years ago) link

Beard wearer for 4+ years and proud neck shaver, who wants or wants to see a hairy neck?

Monogo doesn't socialise (ledge), Friday, 24 November 2017 19:31 (six years ago) link

33 years old. can't grow a beard. probably wouldn't if i could. would like the option to try a mustache though

-_- (jim in vancouver), Friday, 24 November 2017 19:48 (six years ago) link

I dislike beards in general, I'm pretty lazy so I often go a week without shaving but that's my limit. I think I look better clean-shaven tbh.

Colonel Poo, Friday, 24 November 2017 23:10 (six years ago) link

Agree ,clean shaven ftw

calstars, Friday, 24 November 2017 23:54 (six years ago) link

1 day stubble tbh

calstars, Friday, 24 November 2017 23:55 (six years ago) link

go a week or so without shaving, then it becomes itchy and irritable and has to go. In the past six months an interesting development has occured - grey and white patches in the chin. It feels ridiculous at 29.

boxedjoy, Saturday, 25 November 2017 08:41 (six years ago) link

I used to tweezer all the grey out. There’s too much now. Not massively visible from a distance, but even so. Disheartening. I spotted a grey chest hair the other day.

Hey Bob (Scik Mouthy), Saturday, 25 November 2017 09:17 (six years ago) link

Beards with grey in them are good

sonnet by a wite kid, "On Æolian Grief" (wins), Saturday, 25 November 2017 09:24 (six years ago) link

otm

What's grey now in mine was ashy ginger in summer in my twenties have always appreciated the tonal shifts tbh

fake pato is kind of racist, dude (darraghmac), Saturday, 25 November 2017 09:25 (six years ago) link

Beards are good

(Some beards are not good)

ilx is having a bald-bashing week for some reason so I will also register my appreciation for the handsome baldies of ilx, with or without beards

Also, a phrase people use that never quite comes off the way it's intended to for me is "beard-stroking", stroking beards is good, beards are to be stroked

sonnet by a wite kid, "On Æolian Grief" (wins), Saturday, 25 November 2017 09:39 (six years ago) link

Stroke it Noel

calstars, Saturday, 25 November 2017 11:34 (six years ago) link

Also, a phrase people use that never quite comes off the way it's intended to for me is "beard-stroking",

aka chin-stroking for hipsters, amirite 'sup

The buttermilk of Beelzebub (Tom D.), Saturday, 25 November 2017 12:19 (six years ago) link

My goatee was distracting from my noble mane so I shaved it off. Also every other white male gentrifier in my neighborhood has one so I’m bucking the trend.

El Tomboto, Saturday, 25 November 2017 15:14 (six years ago) link

Still only breaking out the razor once a week though.

El Tomboto, Saturday, 25 November 2017 15:15 (six years ago) link

Bearded since 2005, thanks to sunburn at a Tracer Hand softballl party. Dreads since 1998. I don’t really do change.

American Fear of Pranksterism (Ed), Saturday, 25 November 2017 21:03 (six years ago) link

35 years bearded. Both times I've shaved it have been painful chilly mistakes.

WilliamC, Saturday, 25 November 2017 22:18 (six years ago) link

For me, wearing a relatively short beard has been classic because for me shaving every day is beyond dud.

A is for (Aimless), Saturday, 25 November 2017 22:21 (six years ago) link

Short beard is a dud look for me and overdone generally, but fuck do i hate shaving so there i am.

correlated noise of conformity (Hunt3r), Saturday, 25 November 2017 22:38 (six years ago) link

beard since about 2003 - was a redhead, now i'm a balding ginger bastard

In a slipshod style (Ross), Sunday, 26 November 2017 01:45 (six years ago) link

i'm bald with a large patchy-grey beard and i look better than i ever have tbh

clouds, Sunday, 26 November 2017 05:36 (six years ago) link

So are there any men on ILX who don't have beards?

The buttermilk of Beelzebub (Tom D.), Sunday, 26 November 2017 12:00 (six years ago) link

Uh, maybe? My face is a field of conflict between incompatible impulses. I don't like shaving, and I don't like having a beard.

The normal state is DonJohnsonian permascruff, which is mostly fine. I probably trim and/or shave every week or 10 days. But there is nuance behind this, and a story. Unfortunately it is a very boring story. Sorry.

My facial hair naturally grows into a goatee shape with ease, while the surrounding territory remains scraggly and sparse at best.

For cultural reasons I cannot do a goatee. Some dudes can manage it, but I just look like the worst barista you had in 1992, or maybe the slightly dim hillbilly in a movie. (The one that Pa sends out to the farm in case the Sheriff comes snoopin' around.)

With careful management, I can get a beard-like shape in a month or so. But every time I do so, it starts itching me almost immediately and irritating my wife's skin. So I get abruptly sick of it and go back to Miami Vice territory.

Pro tip: when you're shaving off a beard, it can be amusing to stop at different stages and give them names. Some of my faves:

- 1970s Motorcyle Cop

- Serial Molester

- World War I Fighter Pilot

- Fascist Dictator

- Substitute Junior-High Gym Teacher

- Civil War Cavalryman

here come the warm jorts (Ye Mad Puffin), Sunday, 26 November 2017 15:57 (six years ago) link

- Free-Jazz Saxophonist

here come the warm jorts (Ye Mad Puffin), Sunday, 26 November 2017 16:05 (six years ago) link

We’re basically in the same boat, but my goatee just looks like I’m going for knausgaard or jesus

El Tomboto, Sunday, 26 November 2017 16:44 (six years ago) link


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