Seinfeld: Classic or Dud

i think the actual name was 'dolores'

Yeah, I was gonna say.

don't remember that bit

does that rhyme in a New York accent?

it rhymes when i say it in my head?!

its the tag to that episode fwiw - he sticks his head out of his window and sorta ruefully shouts 'DOLORES!' at her after shes presumably stormed out

oh god yeah now i remember

iirc they never had a name for her during the show, but as it was being taped they asked the audience what they thought it should be and some woman came up w/ Dolores

haha i didnt know that! i do think that dolores is a better joke than regina: sneakier and dirtier but still obvious enough once he shouts it

yeh dolores is better really. impressed i cd forget something like that for years

Idgi

dolores/clitoris

iirc, Jerry was with a girl and he couldn't remember her name, she told him it rhymed with a part of a woman's body, so he spent the episode trying to guess a female name that rhymed with a body part. at the end of the episode, after she storms out in disgust, he throws open his window and yells "Dolores"

I never got that. They don't even approach rhyming in my head.

It always kind of bugged me because it only rhymes if you pronounce clitoris a certain way which I think is the less common way of doing so. I don't pronounce it like that and that pronunciation sounds strange to me even though I think both are technically correct.

Weird because I feel like 90% of the time I've heard someone say it, its the way that rhymes with Dolores.

i think they took some "artistic license"

still p funny if you ask me

Wait, maybe not, maybe only like 65%. The more I keep trying out both in my head, the more confused I get as to which way I more often hear it.

^^^I always found it curious that Jerry never considered "Regina" as a plausible name in that episode

― Myonga Vön Bontee, Monday, July 11, 2011 1:21 PM (40 minutes ago) Bookmark

Americans pronounce Regina as Regeena so that wouldn't have worked.

Yeah, I've heard both. Webster's 11th has both as well, but CLIT-or-is is listed first.

Weird because I feel like 90% of the time I've heard someone say it, its the way that rhymes with Dolores.

I would argue that this is probably in large part due to the episode!

yeah i've literally never heard anyone in my life say "regina" to rhyme w/ "vagina"

Never been to Saskatchewan?

one of the joys of sharing a small office is that theres no way of repeating 'dolores... clitoris...' under your breath in a questioning voice w/o getting some p disturbed looks

anyway it rhymes that way i would pronounce that two words but mb we need dr. whiney on this

idk "cliTORis" (pronounced like Thor in the middle in order to rhyme wiht Delores) just sounds really really awkward. Like, that's how my mom probably says it or something.

dolores

^^^ have experience cognitive dissonance

d all of this

seinfeld is still on tv every night I think

This reminds me of the classic Chicago joke:

Q: What are the three streets in Chicago that rhyme with vagina?
A: Paulina, Melvina, and Lunt.

sometimes I don't even realize I'm watching it and my gf gets kind of exasperated

she gets less exasperated at king of the hill tho

her name should have been Pat

RIP Mr. Pitt

(I see this is old news and has already been mentioned in the 2012 obits thread. Carry on.)

yeesh:

http://www.avclub.com/articles/seinfeld-actor-daniel-von-bargen-barely-survives-b,69792/

yeesh indeed :-(

RIP Mr. Pitt and :( at that dude's suicide attempt.

Just watched the ep where Kramer gets Novocaine at the dentist and wears Jimmy's special shoes so that some man thinks he's special and invites him to be a guest of honor at Mel Torme's benefit gig. I couldn't breathe I was laughing so much during Torme's serenade. Great one.

this is awesome

Seinfelt

holy shit those are perfect

George orders a BLT, but realizes that he hates the texture of tomato, and the lettuce doesn’t add anything at all. He starts eating “BBBs” for lunch instead.

there's some duds, but mostly bizarre lols

okay these are getting weird

George practices handling food as minimally as possible in order to avoid having to wash his hands as often. Jerry is unnerved when his new girlfriend confesses she’s been to every one of his shows since 1992. Elaine dates a man who enjoys having cigarettes put out on his skin, and finds herself increasingly turned on by secondhand smoke. When the others finally learn Kramer’s first name — Cosmo — he pulls open his face and blasts them all into oblivion with the tiny star contained inside his skull.

Elaine wears “low heel shoes” with the toe elevated higher than the heel.

some of these are close enough to the real thing

The Penguin

When Elaine’s coworker starts taking two-hour-long lunches, she tries to do the same, only to later learn that the woman only takes so long because she has to be fed through a special tube. Kramer starts writing down detailed predictions about trivial events on long scrolls, which he stores in Jerry’s freezer. After a teen on the street refers to an umbrella-wielding George as ‘The Penguin’, he starts to find other commonalities with the character. Jerry receives a request to perform at a fan’s funeral.

i love it how some of them are basically take offs on existing Seinfeld plots, then some are like this

George takes up painting to relieve stress, but finds that he can only paint grotesque images of massive tragedies. Elaine rubs against rough surfaces in Jerry’s apartment in order to shed her skin, which Newman later discovers by accident, and eats after overcoming his initial terror. Kramer’s new shampoo turns his hair bright purple. Jerry vomits a living fetus.

it's as if a computer is writing these

When Jerry confesses to Elaine that he’s still a virgin and has faked every sexual encounter using misdirection and sleight-of-hand, she gives him such a forceful “Get Out” push that he quantum tunnels through his apartment wall and falls to the sidewalk outside. Newman loses a bet with Kramer and has to carry him around on his shoulders for a week. George wakes up to discover psychedelic mushrooms growing between his toes.

"George is bitten by a radioactive pedophile and dreads the potential consequences."

I would love to see some of these actually performed, but I'll probably have to settle for my imagination.

yeah I've been imagining a 10th season with some of these, some of the bits about Jerry bombing or Bania trying to find "the best" bathroom in NYC are funny as hell

These are really good, especially the quotes in character:

George finds a hair in his soup and insists that it “tasted pubic”.

Kramer thinks “horse-faced” should be considered a compliment. “Horses are noble creatures, Jerry. Kings and knights had them.”

Elaine tries to woo the man who moves into the victim’s apartment, saying he’s “way more handsome than the dead guy.”

Jerry is offended when a piece of fan mail is signed, “Regards.” “Regards? Regarding what? You’re just acknowledging my existence?” He nasally whines. “I don’t even get a ‘Best?’ At least with ‘Best,’ you’re getting something good. You don’t know what, but you know it’s good. It’s the best!”