Seinfeld: Classic or Dud

Never been to Saskatchewan?

one of the joys of sharing a small office is that theres no way of repeating 'dolores... clitoris...' under your breath in a questioning voice w/o getting some p disturbed looks

anyway it rhymes that way i would pronounce that two words but mb we need dr. whiney on this

idk "cliTORis" (pronounced like Thor in the middle in order to rhyme wiht Delores) just sounds really really awkward. Like, that's how my mom probably says it or something.

dolores

^^^ have experience cognitive dissonance

d all of this

seinfeld is still on tv every night I think

This reminds me of the classic Chicago joke:

Q: What are the three streets in Chicago that rhyme with vagina?
A: Paulina, Melvina, and Lunt.

sometimes I don't even realize I'm watching it and my gf gets kind of exasperated

she gets less exasperated at king of the hill tho

her name should have been Pat

RIP Mr. Pitt

(I see this is old news and has already been mentioned in the 2012 obits thread. Carry on.)

yeesh:

http://www.avclub.com/articles/seinfeld-actor-daniel-von-bargen-barely-survives-b,69792/

yeesh indeed :-(

RIP Mr. Pitt and :( at that dude's suicide attempt.

Just watched the ep where Kramer gets Novocaine at the dentist and wears Jimmy's special shoes so that some man thinks he's special and invites him to be a guest of honor at Mel Torme's benefit gig. I couldn't breathe I was laughing so much during Torme's serenade. Great one.

this is awesome

Seinfelt

holy shit those are perfect

George orders a BLT, but realizes that he hates the texture of tomato, and the lettuce doesn’t add anything at all. He starts eating “BBBs” for lunch instead.

there's some duds, but mostly bizarre lols

okay these are getting weird

George practices handling food as minimally as possible in order to avoid having to wash his hands as often. Jerry is unnerved when his new girlfriend confesses she’s been to every one of his shows since 1992. Elaine dates a man who enjoys having cigarettes put out on his skin, and finds herself increasingly turned on by secondhand smoke. When the others finally learn Kramer’s first name — Cosmo — he pulls open his face and blasts them all into oblivion with the tiny star contained inside his skull.

Elaine wears “low heel shoes” with the toe elevated higher than the heel.

some of these are close enough to the real thing

The Penguin

When Elaine’s coworker starts taking two-hour-long lunches, she tries to do the same, only to later learn that the woman only takes so long because she has to be fed through a special tube. Kramer starts writing down detailed predictions about trivial events on long scrolls, which he stores in Jerry’s freezer. After a teen on the street refers to an umbrella-wielding George as ‘The Penguin’, he starts to find other commonalities with the character. Jerry receives a request to perform at a fan’s funeral.

i love it how some of them are basically take offs on existing Seinfeld plots, then some are like this

George takes up painting to relieve stress, but finds that he can only paint grotesque images of massive tragedies. Elaine rubs against rough surfaces in Jerry’s apartment in order to shed her skin, which Newman later discovers by accident, and eats after overcoming his initial terror. Kramer’s new shampoo turns his hair bright purple. Jerry vomits a living fetus.

it's as if a computer is writing these

When Jerry confesses to Elaine that he’s still a virgin and has faked every sexual encounter using misdirection and sleight-of-hand, she gives him such a forceful “Get Out” push that he quantum tunnels through his apartment wall and falls to the sidewalk outside. Newman loses a bet with Kramer and has to carry him around on his shoulders for a week. George wakes up to discover psychedelic mushrooms growing between his toes.

"George is bitten by a radioactive pedophile and dreads the potential consequences."

I would love to see some of these actually performed, but I'll probably have to settle for my imagination.

yeah I've been imagining a 10th season with some of these, some of the bits about Jerry bombing or Bania trying to find "the best" bathroom in NYC are funny as hell

These are really good, especially the quotes in character:

George finds a hair in his soup and insists that it “tasted pubic”.

Kramer thinks “horse-faced” should be considered a compliment. “Horses are noble creatures, Jerry. Kings and knights had them.”

Elaine tries to woo the man who moves into the victim’s apartment, saying he’s “way more handsome than the dead guy.”

Jerry is offended when a piece of fan mail is signed, “Regards.” “Regards? Regarding what? You’re just acknowledging my existence?” He nasally whines. “I don’t even get a ‘Best?’ At least with ‘Best,’ you’re getting something good. You don’t know what, but you know it’s good. It’s the best!”

These seem entirely authentic IE entirely unfunny.

Anyone else watching this?

http://www.comediansincarsgettingcoffee.com

Jerry Seinfeld's web series. Unscripted, off the cuff, two comedians hanging out, with the added bit of Seinfeld's ridiculous rich guy car collection.

I don't enjoy it. Feels like a vanity project. It's kind of stiff and unfunny. The Gervais episode was a hard to watch. I think i'll keep watching it though.

Is there any evidence of Seinfeld being funny after Seinfeld? I mean it's clear that Larry David still has it, and even though those last two seasons without him were actually pretty good, Seinfeld's post-Seinfeld life is littered with terrible commercials, The Marriage Ref, and awful twitter account, and now this

the larry david one is great because it has larry david being larry david

because it has larry david being larry david

not a positive imo

Seinfeld is just Larry DAvid's dickpuppet

not a positive imo

f u imo :)

The Larry David one might've been OK because he and Jerry have a great rapport, which definitely couldn't be said about him and Gervais. The Brian Regan one wasn't so bad. But this series seems to be just Jerry on autopilot. It would be interesting if he were trying a little harder. It really just seems unprepared, totally winging it.

The Larry David one might've been OK because he and Jerry have a great rapport, which definitely couldn't be said about him and Gervais. The Brian Regan one wasn't so bad. But this series seems to be just Jerry on autopilot. It would be interesting if he were trying a little harder. It really just seems unprepared, totally winging it.

gervais woul dbe better served with a Mitchell or Webb

We did the usual thing today where each of my students introduced his or her seatmate, and it turns out one my girls says she wants to be an architect. Naturally thrilled. If she suddenly decides she wants to be a city planner instead, I won't be happy.

What if she wants to be a marine biologist?

We were joking about that! (A Seinfeld fan I work with.) The thing is, she's a nice girl and a good student--apparently she really does want to be an architect. It defeats the whole purpose if she's not a complete phony like George.

Everybody's talkin at me
I can't hear a word they're sayin
Just drivin round in Jon Voight's car

Any hot chicks out there want to get bisy just let me know. I got it all . They call me "the Mutt" and with all that implies. And that ain't dirt in my eye.

Larry

― Larry Mutt, Wednesday, August 15, 2001 8:00 PM (11 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

HAHAHH what???

valuable old posters

rip larry mutt

"i don't think i could do it. they say you always remember your first time. i don't want to be remembered, i want to be forgotten."

I just saw the episode with the other Frank Costanza (the handicapped parking/Drake episode). Very disorienting, having seen the reshot episode many times. MIA: the way Jerry Stiller says "de-li-ver" when he instructs George to pick up the wheelchair.

"The Switch" was on the other day. I think it might be the greatest episode of any sitcom ever.

http://seinfelt.tumblr.com/day/2013/05/16