God bless the goddamn Onion

a hrarf!

I don't get why everybody's blaming the puppy for not being Socialist Realism or somethink.

I don't even know what that means and I am a hu-man.

who blames a puppy
i am lerning better, promise
the psyientests are teaching me

I didn't express myself very clearly.

Anyway, if y'all thought the "95-96 Prayers Backlog" was cold, look what I stumbled across:

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/29919

okay that is awesome

the onion's had a hardon for superman for awhile - http://www.theonion.com/content/node/30382

whose balls are you, i am lookinf for mine

http://fanaticking.com/photos/Michael_Vick_Dog.jpg

i kinda forgot abt the onion but this was posted on the quantum mechanic thread and it is funnee
http://www.theonion.com/content/news/scientists_ask_congress_to_fund_50

They've really been on a roll with the cartoons - they're probably my favorite thing in the Onion now.

http://www.theonion.com/content/files/images/Cartoon-Cage-Free-Eggs.jpg

One of my more flattering caricatures.

Ha.

I also really love that every so often there will be an editorial cartoon about the cartoonist's ex-wife.

lol
http://www.theonion.com/content/files/images/Cartoon-Freak-Dancing.jpg

I read the last word wrong and thought this was gonna be about
http://content.answers.com/main/content/wp/en/thumb/3/37/250px-Vina.jpg

http://www.theonion.com/content/files/images/Teens-Turning-Backs.jpg

http://content.answers.com/main/content/wp/en/thumb/3/37/250px-Vina.jpg
who's that on the right? Jabba the Hutt?

http://www.theonion.com/content/news/mel_brooks_starts_nonprofit

http://www.theonion.com/content/files/images/KellyKlassicMujahideen.article.jpg

o shi i hadn't seen these cartoons before -- awesome.

"After my baby didn't babble or gesture after 12 months, I hoped the cause was autism. I've since learned he's dead."

Haha OMG:

First Indian-American Governor Elected

With his swearing in as governor of Louisiana on Monday, Republican Bobby Jindal became the first Indian-American to head a U.S. state. What do you think?

Dave Piedmont,
Systems Analyst
"His parents must be so close to being proud."

Steven Seagal is...

http://www.theonion.com/content/opinion/act_now_to_take_advantage_of_my

story of my life

lol "Skeepers"

haha deja vu

me: http://www.theonion.com/content/opinion/act_now_to_take_advantage_of_my
Sent at 4:31 PM on Wednesday
Jordan: haha
lol "skeepers"

http://www.theonion.com/content/files/images/act_now_oped.jpg

: /

that's totally the lowered-standards look

... anonymous sex with me that I'll begin to regret it as it's happening?
oh double-edged zing

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/75350

Haha, i worked at the Skeepers in Ann Arbor from '98 - '00.

http://www.theonion.com/content/files/images/onionmagazine_archive_101a.jpg

"Microwave Quietly Encouraged"

the onion magazine + editorial cartoons are my fav shit now

Kelly is a genius.

http://www.theonion.com/content/opinion/you_know_whats_stupid

One of my fave pieces for a long time, great concept.

Bob can go fuck himself for those shoes/boots.

wow that link is one of the least funny Onion pieces I've read. Diff'rent strokes.

I think it's funny.

that craig kilborn bit they did a few months ago (which i conveniently cannot find a link to right now) was one of the best things they've ever done

wow that link is one of the least funny Onion pieces I've read. Diff'rent strokes.

-- wanko ergo sum, Saturday, 15 March 2008 17:25

Think it's because this character = almost everybody I work with.

They have trouble understanding complex, intellectual ideas like "Maybe not every problem with the UK today can be blamed on asylum seekers."

http://www.theonion.com/content/video/in_the_know_is_the_government

I think it's funny.

yeah, i like it too. I usually enjoy their "explicitly deconstructing thoughtless everyday habits" bits.

Haha this joke would appear to be entirely coincidental, and yet ...

COLUMN: Smoove B signs off -- "Girl, there comes a time when even a strong, well-dressed man must admit defeat."

AMERICAN VOICES TOPIC: "Farmers Planting Less Corn"

i'm dying here.

cherry coke all over my monitor

The Onion Movie is surprisingly terrible

surprisingly

""

Oh, I didn't know we don't like the Onion here anymore.

ILX = It's the British press for your iphone!

He and RFK should have a gravel voice-off.

collins strikes me as a bit of a lib grifter type, but honestly good for him.

they should keep the office open and just leave AJ in there... don't kick him out, just allow him to mill about the place in perpetuity

Area Man livestreams himself shitting in corner

I am in awe

― Ned Raggett, Thursday, November 14, 2024 9:13 AM (four hours ago) bookmarkflaglink

truly amazing stuff

lol

https://bsky.app/profile/websitehomepage.bsky.social/post/3lawiqx4ct22g

Should I know who that is?

Apparently Tim Heidecker wants to get involved, that would make my fucking year

dril heidecker not really onion style but would be cool for sure

clickhole has occasionally had heidecker/dril energy, could see it.

I saw an AP story this morning that said Jones's lawyers have succeeded in getting a judge to block the sale temporarily, by claiming the bidding process was flawed.

The Washington Post story said that "the Onion did not have the highest bid." So that does seem a little bit weird for an auction.

Does it offer an explanation for why they won the auction?

suspect it may have to do with the creditors aka the sandy hook families wanted the onion to win because theyre going to take all info wars stuff offline ben collins said something about working with the families re the bid

why would jones or his lawyers have any input into this process? he lost. it's not like any of the money is going to him

Yeah my understanding is that the families could have got more from splitting it up, but that would have increased the chances that some of it would find its way back to Alex Jones. If that's the basis of the challenge, then I trust the judge will tell Jones's lawyers to eat shit.

i don't think they did; the onion did

xpost

I saw an AP story this morning that said Jones's lawyers have succeeded in getting a judge to block the sale temporarily, by claiming the bidding process was flawed.

Collins says

I wanted to give a quick update on The Onion’s purchase of InfoWars, which we can’t wait to relaunch as the dumbest site on the internet.

Long and short of it: We won the bid and — you're not going to believe it — the previous InfoWars folks aren't taking it well.

On Thursday, the person overseeing the auction told us that The Onion’s bid for InfoWars, along with the Connecticut Sandy Hook families, won.

We haven’t heard anything that changed that — except, of course, from the guys currently running InfoWars, doing InfoWars stuff.

There was a status conference with the judge overseeing the auction on Thursday shortly after we were deemed winners.

The judge had some questions about process and assets. We’re glad he’s doing that, since our bid with the families is clearly the best and transparency is even better.

There was a status conference with the judge overseeing the auction on Thursday shortly after we were deemed winners.

The judge had some questions about process and assets. We’re glad he’s doing that, since our bid with the families is clearly the best and transparency is even better.

Obviously, when the current operators of InfoWars went back to operating as a business, they used that to falsely say the auction had been overturned and allege some truly wacky stuff. Something about Saul Alinsky? God bless ‘em.

We expected all of this, obviously. Buying this site was always going to be fun later on, but annoying right away.

Anyway, we look forward to completing this process at the next scheduled court date — which, at present, is a week from Monday.

We think it’s all worth it to make a better, funnier future possible. As always: Tu Stultus Es.

If there's one thing these people hate it's being made fun of...I wonder if that's why Alex Jones took it so hard. or maybe he doesn't know what The Onion is and just reacts that way to everything

prob just mad about losing his empire, huge stash of scam supplements, and so forth