Chicago: customers are advised to allow extra travel time

I am drinking coffee from a mug I found in the office--it has a Cathy-like woman on it with frazzled hair, drinking coffee. The caption reads, "Men who call women 'baby' and 'darling' should have their little tiny peckers cut off."

Actually, the woman is not drinking coffee. She has a forefinger in the air authoritatively.

I call one woman baby. Am I in trouble?

I am tired. After my 12 hour day I went over to a friend's house and got involved in some Guitar Hero, stoner electro jams in the basement, and off-the-dome covers of Crazy Train and War Pigs (these dudes have, like, the House of Toys, all video games and V-drums and keyboards and stuff. It's like Carrell's house in 40 Yr Old Virgin).

She has a forefinger in the air authoritatively.

Wait, and it's not actually Cathy?

the real Cathy is unfamiliar with peckers. She saw one once, and just said "ACK!"

The real reason she and Larry never worked out.

Larry? I meant Irving. I think I'm confusing him with Leisure Suit Larry.

Her nether regions are an untouched tundra moistened only by tears.

Gross.

Hey, Kenan: ZITS!~!!!!!

BWAH HA HA HA! Gave you a little taste of your own medecine!

His face was a violent landscape, pocked with active volcanoes of pus and streaked with rivers of grease.

Speaking of scary things, last night I was sitting outside a PizzaMetr0 with Ben & Nick, and suddently Nick gets this weird expression on his face and tells me to not look behind me. So I trusted him because I can get freaked out pretty easily, but wondered what the hell I wasn't seeing. So once these two folks were way down the block he said the coast was clear. This woman was carrying her son's snake, and she had passed right behind my chair. Snakes in public = NOT ACCEPTABLE.

"snake"

WTF, I just got a spam call on my cell phone from motherfucking Pizza Hut.

"I noticed we haven't made you a pizza in awhile"

HAHA that has got to be illegal in some way

I think if I got that phone call, I would never order pizza from them again. And if I was feeling like a special busybody, I'd write a letter explaining why.

Next time I order pizza from a chain, which will be never, I'm definitely giving a fake number.

http://www.wondermark.com/tcsd/stripdoc_13.html

Poor snakes. ;__; They need love too!

tell it, sister

You can have them! In fact, other people can have them - AT HOME IN CAGES.

so you don't have to see them?

Yeah, I feel that way about Greeks.

Yes. I've seen enough snakes to last a lifetime.

what are you, Indiana Jones?

Oooooh wait, the snake stories are coming back to me now. Kenan, she kind of IS.

I don't know that I've heard this one!

There are hellsuvalot more than one. Apparently you never read any of my posts. ;-p

I do a lot of drugs. :(

wasn't there something horrifying involving a barn?

And a dead horse. And a rotted floor...?

Indiana Joan

Sounds like you guys are talking about Sybil.

Hey guess what I just ate.

Ok I tell you.

BIRTHDAY BAKLAVA

NO WAY.

Wait. Is TODAY your bday?

mmhmm

Happy Birthday, La Lechera!

Thanks, Jonny Dickfarm!

AND NOW........A BIRTHDAY BALAKLAVA:

http://www.nga.gov.au/international/catalogue/Images/LRG/3622.jpg

That's what I was hoping for! Thanks!

I think someone should come out with a gag gift called "Jesuspirin" which is really just a bunch of sugar pills, but you give them to someone who's really stressed out and needs the soothing pleasure of Jesus in his/her life. They could even be jellybeans.

"Feeling low?"
"Actually, yes. I don't know why I'm so blue"
"Have a Jesuspirin!"
"Oh Carol, you always know how to make me laugh!"

Happy birthday Amanda! I'd revive your birthday thread except I don't know that anyone else on ILX really knows who you are, haha. :_)

You're right, they don't. Thank goodness.

Also, I had my eyes dilated a little over an hour ago, and holy moly, the brightness of the computer screen is kind of freaking me out.

who is jl dickfarm?

i'm me

Good answer.

I really hate snakes.

Indiana Jeff