Calif. teacher resigns after leaving family for student

I kinda want ZS to animate their heads Roxbury steez.

Man, that girl is so lucky

sorry, I couldn't resist, that's the default reaction when male student hooks up with teacher

when i heard the story on the radio this morning the way they glossed over the details actually made me think "oh, so he made the decision to resign so he could be with her and not hide it, i guess that's somewhat honorable as these things go" but no it looks like he was on some kind of leave and then asked to resign so yeah

He also called his girlfriend's mother's allegations a "pack of lies" and urged people to be careful in choosing what to believe.

I have never heard this phrase used outside of that Phil Collins song before

Any sort of power balance disparity makes this sort of thing fucked up. Age difference only the tip of the iceberg.

Then again, such disparities are kind of hot if they're somehow coded as rule-breaking and not exploitative?

So I guess what I'm saying is that I will never find a middle-aged dude hot so this is just gross and exploitative

He also called his girlfriend's mother's allegations a "pack of lies" and urged people to be careful in choosing what to believe.

I have never heard this phrase used outside of that Phil Collins song before

― some dude, Thursday, March 1, 2012 3:50 PM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

lol true

In five years she's going to be all "I wonder if he ever finished that novel"

He also called his girlfriend's mother's allegations a "pack of lies" and urged people to be careful in choosing what to believe. then broke into an air drum solo.

I have a friend whose husband was the teacher in a similar scenario. Dude went from "likable goof" to "most batshit guy I know IRL" in sixty seconds flat after he got caught

I have had similar firsthand experiences with people in similar situations and they are always, erm, eye-opening.

- colleague of my dad's who perved it up w/ 13yo student, got caught, went to jail, and now... teaches kids in another state!
- friend of my wife's who had a relationship with her high school physics teacher
- acquaintance who once complained to me about how "hard" it is to be a hs teacher because of the preponderance of hot young chix

in all cases it's just "wtf are you thinking/you are insane"

One of my close friends in high school had a Dad who was a HS teacher at a different school across town. He had an affair with a senior student (18 at the time, he was in his 50's) - she got pregnant and he left his family and married her. Creepiest, weirdest situation EVER. I don't even know if they're still together but that whole period of time was like, "I'm sorry..you what now?"
It completely changed my view of her dad. He had taught me and a friend of mine for a while, we thought he was the greatest teacher ever, the coolest Dad in the world...and within months we were all just rallying around our friend and her Mom, and he became a stranger to all of us, including his own family. It was just awful.

- acquaintance who once complained to me about how "hard" it is to be a hs teacher because of the preponderance of hot young chix

the only way you could possibly feel this way is if all your information about being a teacher in hs comes from watching pornos

I can kind of understand in a distant way. There were some girls who definitely looked older when I was in high school in the way some women look kind of vaguely between 16 and 30. Most high school kids, though, look... like high school kids. And the ones who look really mature usually like they're 35 by the time they're 22. And if you speak to them while they're in high school, they usually have the mindset and maturity of a teenager!

Nice use of air quotes there

xpost

And if you speak to them while they're in high school, they usually have the mindset and maturity of a teenager!

this a million times no matter what they look like. and not just usually. always.

the only way you could possibly feel this way is if all your information about being a teacher in hs comes from watching pornos

perhaps I should have clarified that the person speaking was a hs math teacher

That girl in that picture up there looks like a child no matter how you slice it. Maybe it's just because I'm 42, but really.

as someone who taught hs, the idea of wanting to embark on a romantic relationship with a hs student seems totally insane to me.

exactly

agreed, love em and leave em

lol

Mordy otm.

I like HS kids okay, but marrying any of them? FFS.
Besides that, I was a fucking idiot when I was 18. I thought I was super grounded and together, but I was a self-absorbed idiot. And any 40 year old who thinks any 18 year old, male or female, is marrying material, is off their bloody rocker. I mean, just the difference between someone at 18 and the same person at 25 is HUGE. It's just so wtf to me.

tbf, some people really don't mature much intellectually or romantically past that age. Hopefully, those people are not high school teachers.

people really REALLY love doing the wrong thing. don't know if you've noticed that over the years.

i could get high and mighty because i'm a grownup who's only ever been in age-appropriate relationships, but i'm constantly reminded of the marc maron routine where he goes "Of course I want to have sex with teenage girls. C'mon, doesn't everyone? That's why there's a law." -- some men hit an age or a point in their life where teenage girls aren't attractive to them at all anymore, but to be really real most just straight up do not. and it definitely should be a measure of your character as a man and as a person whether you can just move on and not give more than a glance to girls that young after you hit the age of, like, 22.

some men hit an age or a point in their life where teenage girls aren't attractive to them at all anymore, but to be really real most just straight up do not.

i'd flip this. some men for whatever fucked up wiring reason don't have a problem being attracted to people significantly younger and more immature than them, but to be really real most just straight up do.

i think there's a certain kind of guy who never got much of a look from girls when he was that age, so, at any time after that when young women do give him some attention, it's like holy shit, dreams are finally coming true!!!

perhaps this is obvious but the weird thing is not the age difference, it's the specific attraction to teenagers that's weird. The older you get, the less age differences really matter (70 yo dating 60 yo = who cares), but the fixation on teenager-ness is like... come on guys get over high school already

there are a significant number of men out there who emotionally are on about a 16 year old's level. so, in some ways it makes sense. you have to be an adult to want to be in an adult relationship.

feels like a lot of it is just sheer wish fulfillment

it's the age difference too. 70yo dating 60yo (or even 40yo dating 30yo to a lesser extent) isn't weird, but like, 80yo dating 40yo or 40yo dating 20yo is still pretty weird.

i dunno, i sometimes see high school girls around my neighborhood and it messes w/me because they look younger than what i remember HS girls to look like. which is why this story and others like it are weird, that girl looks like she's 14.

some men hit an age or a point in their life where teenage girls aren't attractive to them at all anymore, but to be really real most just straight up do not.

i'd flip this. some men for whatever fucked up wiring reason don't have a problem being attracted to people significantly younger and more immature than them, but to be really real most just straight up do.

― Mordy, Thursday, March 1, 2012 4:19 PM (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

there's a difference between finding someone attractive with no guilt or reservations, finding someone attractive but having a problem with it and the restraint to not act on or express, and not finding them attractive at all.

like, 80-40, or 40-20, they're both adults so i wouldn't forbid them from being in a relationship obv, but i'd definitely judge them and wonder what they could possibly be getting out of the relationship.

To be attracted to a 17 year old is straight-up biology. Thinking it wise to hook up with them in the short or long term is just a sign you haven't learned anything

half plus seven, bros

michael white otm

i have no idea how old anyone is anymore. someone could be 20 or 40 or 16. everyone young looks old to me and everyone old looks younger than they are.

you need new glasses

wonder to what extent stuff like this interacts with the fact that like 90% of high schoolers on tv +movies are played by very sexually desirable 20-something year olds

^^^

i mean maybe i'm overestimating how common this mindset is. but i feel like it's some kind of rite on passage for most adults with a living father to at some point see your dad leering at (or dating) someone your age or younger and be skeeved out.

I don't have a problem with age differences at all, but it has to be in a sensible stage of life for the difference to be more of a wash. Like, I don't want to marry someone who doesn't know what a W-2 is. I don't want to have to teach someone how to pay the fucking phone bill...and I don't want to marry someone who still wants to go to a fucking nightclub on a Friday night.

http://www.doctormacro.com/Images/Ann-Margret/Annex/Annex%20-%20Ann-Margret%20(Bye%20Bye%20Birdie)_02.jpg

i mean maybe i'm overestimating how common this mindset is. but i feel like it's some kind of rite on passage for most adults with a living father to at some point see your dad leering at (or dating) someone your age or younger and be skeeved out.

^^^ why I don't discuss Beyonce with my father

There's a big difference between finding someone young sexually attractive and thinking you should have sex with them, too! I mean, I get the Marc Maron bit and your "measure of a man" thing (although it should be "measure of an adult" really) but this is more of a sense thing than it is a legal/willpower thing.

I mean, if there was someone who was 25 but had an incredibly low IQ, is it right for me to have sex with them? If suddenly murder was legal, most people aren't going to be murderers. If you changed the age of consent or the rules, most people still aren't going to have sex with teenagers!

The age of consent is below 18 in plenty of places in the US and it's still not that common to see someone older with a teen. It happens, but... not common.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vmezIIrFQmY

this happens in schools all of the time!

http://espn.go.com/nfl/story/_/id/8479276/cincinnati-bengals-ex-nfl-cheerleader-sarah-jones-pleads-guilty-student-sex

always nice when love wins out in the end

"Deters declined to discuss details of their current relationship, saying that the pair would discuss it on the "Today" show and "Dateline" on Friday."

Man you have to have some simple life needs to be 27 and think a teen is who you want to pursue

I just... male or female, I just *do not* understand how hooking up somehow becomes a good idea for a teacher with a student.

like, that's a line that looks like a third-world military checkpoint in my mind.

I've known teachers who have done it, who have entertained the idea of doing it, and the children of teachers who have done it and I will never comprehend that mindset

why are america's teachers emotionally stunted????

and I know it's not as simple as 'oh this is a good idea' but, there's so many points on that road where turning back can happen/is an option. where 'this is wrong' is a song that's playing in your head.

Well, a lot of people meet someone special at work and for teachers most of the people they meet are children

also "this is wrong" often sounds like "but feels SO RIGHT" to these people

true

not their first or even worst bad choice in their life leading up to that moment perhaps

"This is wrong and makes me feel bad in a pleasurable way"

nailed it

so to speak, cough

Maybe they really want to be on the "Today" show.

At least they're drawing the line between the 'Today' show and Dateline NBC.