Calif. teacher resigns after leaving family for student

- acquaintance who once complained to me about how "hard" it is to be a hs teacher because of the preponderance of hot young chix

the only way you could possibly feel this way is if all your information about being a teacher in hs comes from watching pornos

I can kind of understand in a distant way. There were some girls who definitely looked older when I was in high school in the way some women look kind of vaguely between 16 and 30. Most high school kids, though, look... like high school kids. And the ones who look really mature usually like they're 35 by the time they're 22. And if you speak to them while they're in high school, they usually have the mindset and maturity of a teenager!

Nice use of air quotes there

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And if you speak to them while they're in high school, they usually have the mindset and maturity of a teenager!

this a million times no matter what they look like. and not just usually. always.

the only way you could possibly feel this way is if all your information about being a teacher in hs comes from watching pornos

perhaps I should have clarified that the person speaking was a hs math teacher

That girl in that picture up there looks like a child no matter how you slice it. Maybe it's just because I'm 42, but really.

as someone who taught hs, the idea of wanting to embark on a romantic relationship with a hs student seems totally insane to me.

exactly

agreed, love em and leave em

lol

Mordy otm.

I like HS kids okay, but marrying any of them? FFS.
Besides that, I was a fucking idiot when I was 18. I thought I was super grounded and together, but I was a self-absorbed idiot. And any 40 year old who thinks any 18 year old, male or female, is marrying material, is off their bloody rocker. I mean, just the difference between someone at 18 and the same person at 25 is HUGE. It's just so wtf to me.

tbf, some people really don't mature much intellectually or romantically past that age. Hopefully, those people are not high school teachers.

people really REALLY love doing the wrong thing. don't know if you've noticed that over the years.

i could get high and mighty because i'm a grownup who's only ever been in age-appropriate relationships, but i'm constantly reminded of the marc maron routine where he goes "Of course I want to have sex with teenage girls. C'mon, doesn't everyone? That's why there's a law." -- some men hit an age or a point in their life where teenage girls aren't attractive to them at all anymore, but to be really real most just straight up do not. and it definitely should be a measure of your character as a man and as a person whether you can just move on and not give more than a glance to girls that young after you hit the age of, like, 22.

some men hit an age or a point in their life where teenage girls aren't attractive to them at all anymore, but to be really real most just straight up do not.

i'd flip this. some men for whatever fucked up wiring reason don't have a problem being attracted to people significantly younger and more immature than them, but to be really real most just straight up do.

i think there's a certain kind of guy who never got much of a look from girls when he was that age, so, at any time after that when young women do give him some attention, it's like holy shit, dreams are finally coming true!!!

perhaps this is obvious but the weird thing is not the age difference, it's the specific attraction to teenagers that's weird. The older you get, the less age differences really matter (70 yo dating 60 yo = who cares), but the fixation on teenager-ness is like... come on guys get over high school already

there are a significant number of men out there who emotionally are on about a 16 year old's level. so, in some ways it makes sense. you have to be an adult to want to be in an adult relationship.

feels like a lot of it is just sheer wish fulfillment

it's the age difference too. 70yo dating 60yo (or even 40yo dating 30yo to a lesser extent) isn't weird, but like, 80yo dating 40yo or 40yo dating 20yo is still pretty weird.

i dunno, i sometimes see high school girls around my neighborhood and it messes w/me because they look younger than what i remember HS girls to look like. which is why this story and others like it are weird, that girl looks like she's 14.

some men hit an age or a point in their life where teenage girls aren't attractive to them at all anymore, but to be really real most just straight up do not.

i'd flip this. some men for whatever fucked up wiring reason don't have a problem being attracted to people significantly younger and more immature than them, but to be really real most just straight up do.

― Mordy, Thursday, March 1, 2012 4:19 PM (2 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

there's a difference between finding someone attractive with no guilt or reservations, finding someone attractive but having a problem with it and the restraint to not act on or express, and not finding them attractive at all.

like, 80-40, or 40-20, they're both adults so i wouldn't forbid them from being in a relationship obv, but i'd definitely judge them and wonder what they could possibly be getting out of the relationship.

To be attracted to a 17 year old is straight-up biology. Thinking it wise to hook up with them in the short or long term is just a sign you haven't learned anything

half plus seven, bros

michael white otm

i have no idea how old anyone is anymore. someone could be 20 or 40 or 16. everyone young looks old to me and everyone old looks younger than they are.

you need new glasses

wonder to what extent stuff like this interacts with the fact that like 90% of high schoolers on tv +movies are played by very sexually desirable 20-something year olds

^^^

i mean maybe i'm overestimating how common this mindset is. but i feel like it's some kind of rite on passage for most adults with a living father to at some point see your dad leering at (or dating) someone your age or younger and be skeeved out.

I don't have a problem with age differences at all, but it has to be in a sensible stage of life for the difference to be more of a wash. Like, I don't want to marry someone who doesn't know what a W-2 is. I don't want to have to teach someone how to pay the fucking phone bill...and I don't want to marry someone who still wants to go to a fucking nightclub on a Friday night.

http://www.doctormacro.com/Images/Ann-Margret/Annex/Annex%20-%20Ann-Margret%20(Bye%20Bye%20Birdie)_02.jpg

i mean maybe i'm overestimating how common this mindset is. but i feel like it's some kind of rite on passage for most adults with a living father to at some point see your dad leering at (or dating) someone your age or younger and be skeeved out.

^^^ why I don't discuss Beyonce with my father

There's a big difference between finding someone young sexually attractive and thinking you should have sex with them, too! I mean, I get the Marc Maron bit and your "measure of a man" thing (although it should be "measure of an adult" really) but this is more of a sense thing than it is a legal/willpower thing.

I mean, if there was someone who was 25 but had an incredibly low IQ, is it right for me to have sex with them? If suddenly murder was legal, most people aren't going to be murderers. If you changed the age of consent or the rules, most people still aren't going to have sex with teenagers!

The age of consent is below 18 in plenty of places in the US and it's still not that common to see someone older with a teen. It happens, but... not common.

more classic example ^^ -- current example:

http://images5.fanpop.com/image/photos/25800000/Tessa-suburgatory-25856734-500-244.gif

don't people in their 30's look like college kids now though? and there are plenty of teens who look old. i blame corn syrup. or bovine growth hormones. in the old days though kids looked old and had 3 kids by the time they were 20 and 30 year olds looked like they were 80.

x-post

Nah, the weird thing is not the age difference, it's not the teenager-ness, it's the fucked-up power relationship. You are given authority over these kids, and with that comes the assumption that you are responsible enough not to take advantage of that fact.

I don't want to marry someone who still wants to go to a fucking nightclub on a Friday night.

Oh shi-

^^^ why I don't discuss Beyonce with my father

― Vaseline MEN AMAZING JOURNEY (DJP), Thursday, March 1, 2012 4:29 PM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

^^^ the title of the illuminating memoir DJP will publish shortly before his campaign for president

I had no qualms availing myself of my Dad's porn mag collection until the day I happened upon the Barely Legal. *record scratch*

I think I am fine in theory w/ people sleeping w/ 16 y/os who they do not teach but on a personal level I don't find teenage girls particularly attractive because I know they are all horrible people

16 y/o boys are also horrible people ftr

This link from the Duluth thread pretty relevant: http://minnesota.publicradio.org/display/web/2012/02/27/grand-marais-older-men-pursuing-teen-girls

Smaller town that's fairly secluded, older guys and girls who are 16 or even possibly younger, and the guy interviewed really doesn't seem like he's got a different mindset than a teen

just sit in a mall food court for an afternoon. Guaranteed to kill that urge stone DEAD.

ok, you guys have me convinced to check this out. age of consent is 16 here. mall food court, here I come!

Nah, the weird thing is not the age difference, it's not the teenager-ness, it's the fucked-up power relationship.

well yeah. the fucked-up power relationship is kinda implicit in any relationship where you have someone who is of, say, college age or older, pursuing a teenager. (the teacher thing obviously adds an extra layer to the power dynamic)

xp

i think if you place an emotionally stunted adult (and a LOT of them are still in HS in their heads) and put them in a job teaching high schoolers, and involved in the life of a high school, then they're gonna start to make some weird leaps in logic that make being in a relationship with a high school student seem "natural." kinda goes both ways with maturity.

lol mh

forget 16, 20 year olds are horrible people too.

anyway let's all watch Election now shall we

At least they're drawing the line between the 'Today' show and Dateline NBC.