Calif. teacher resigns after leaving family for student

I don't have a problem with age differences at all, but it has to be in a sensible stage of life for the difference to be more of a wash. Like, I don't want to marry someone who doesn't know what a W-2 is. I don't want to have to teach someone how to pay the fucking phone bill...and I don't want to marry someone who still wants to go to a fucking nightclub on a Friday night.

http://www.doctormacro.com/Images/Ann-Margret/Annex/Annex%20-%20Ann-Margret%20(Bye%20Bye%20Birdie)_02.jpg

i mean maybe i'm overestimating how common this mindset is. but i feel like it's some kind of rite on passage for most adults with a living father to at some point see your dad leering at (or dating) someone your age or younger and be skeeved out.

^^^ why I don't discuss Beyonce with my father

There's a big difference between finding someone young sexually attractive and thinking you should have sex with them, too! I mean, I get the Marc Maron bit and your "measure of a man" thing (although it should be "measure of an adult" really) but this is more of a sense thing than it is a legal/willpower thing.

I mean, if there was someone who was 25 but had an incredibly low IQ, is it right for me to have sex with them? If suddenly murder was legal, most people aren't going to be murderers. If you changed the age of consent or the rules, most people still aren't going to have sex with teenagers!

The age of consent is below 18 in plenty of places in the US and it's still not that common to see someone older with a teen. It happens, but... not common.

more classic example ^^ -- current example:

http://images5.fanpop.com/image/photos/25800000/Tessa-suburgatory-25856734-500-244.gif

don't people in their 30's look like college kids now though? and there are plenty of teens who look old. i blame corn syrup. or bovine growth hormones. in the old days though kids looked old and had 3 kids by the time they were 20 and 30 year olds looked like they were 80.

x-post

Nah, the weird thing is not the age difference, it's not the teenager-ness, it's the fucked-up power relationship. You are given authority over these kids, and with that comes the assumption that you are responsible enough not to take advantage of that fact.

I don't want to marry someone who still wants to go to a fucking nightclub on a Friday night.

Oh shi-

^^^ why I don't discuss Beyonce with my father

― Vaseline MEN AMAZING JOURNEY (DJP), Thursday, March 1, 2012 4:29 PM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

^^^ the title of the illuminating memoir DJP will publish shortly before his campaign for president

I had no qualms availing myself of my Dad's porn mag collection until the day I happened upon the Barely Legal. *record scratch*

I think I am fine in theory w/ people sleeping w/ 16 y/os who they do not teach but on a personal level I don't find teenage girls particularly attractive because I know they are all horrible people

16 y/o boys are also horrible people ftr

This link from the Duluth thread pretty relevant: http://minnesota.publicradio.org/display/web/2012/02/27/grand-marais-older-men-pursuing-teen-girls

Smaller town that's fairly secluded, older guys and girls who are 16 or even possibly younger, and the guy interviewed really doesn't seem like he's got a different mindset than a teen

just sit in a mall food court for an afternoon. Guaranteed to kill that urge stone DEAD.

ok, you guys have me convinced to check this out. age of consent is 16 here. mall food court, here I come!

Nah, the weird thing is not the age difference, it's not the teenager-ness, it's the fucked-up power relationship.

well yeah. the fucked-up power relationship is kinda implicit in any relationship where you have someone who is of, say, college age or older, pursuing a teenager. (the teacher thing obviously adds an extra layer to the power dynamic)

xp

i think if you place an emotionally stunted adult (and a LOT of them are still in HS in their heads) and put them in a job teaching high schoolers, and involved in the life of a high school, then they're gonna start to make some weird leaps in logic that make being in a relationship with a high school student seem "natural." kinda goes both ways with maturity.

lol mh

forget 16, 20 year olds are horrible people too.

anyway let's all watch Election now shall we

do creepy adult ppl having romantic relationships with young school-aged ppl help their romantic partners w/ their homework after the sexing is done?

"You are given authority over these kids, and with that comes the assumption that you are responsible enough not to take advantage of that fact."

yeah thats why i said that about not having anything to do with someone you knew as a child. cuz they are always going to see you in the parental/authority role, and be intimidated by that. its a really bad place to start.

i feel like it's some kind of rite on passage for most adults with a living father to at some point see your dad leering at (or dating) someone your age or younger and be skeeved out.

Um no and this is fucking disgusting; I think it's an inappropriate normalization of what should be aberrant and unacceptable. The sexualization of younger and younger women in partic is distasteful and the comment about how TV teens are all played by hot 27yos is otm.

I don't mind discussing Beyonce w/my dad because, while we can bond on being over the hill, skeevey dudes checking out the belles, we also know it's just a window show and nothing else will happen nor would we want it to and I have plenty of experience to show that the appreciation of beauty doesn't diminish w/age nor would I want it to. I see no shame nor feel any compunction about admiring pretty ladies any more than admiring pretty flowers or a sunset. I'm not going to get my mind's panties in a knot 'cause of the way I am programmed.

Guaranteed to kill that urge stone DEAD.

Genuine LOL

mind panties lol

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D8lU0xfQ-V4&feature=related

this incident only confirms the need for sexual freedom. however, by sexual freedom we mean freedom *from* sexuality.

sexuality is an enemy that cannot be reasoned or bargained with. its tyranny knows no bounds. it takes away from biological and mental resources that could be used for much more productive ends, and enables exploitation and inequality of the most insidious sort.

in any rational society reproduction must be decoupled from sexuality. in our model, babies would be grown, not born. eventually there would be the withering away of the need for babies as technology would allow for humans to come into existence as fully formed adult banaka units.

Laurel, if i say that something universally skeeves people out, then disagreeing and saying it's "disgusting" and that i'm "normalizing" it, that makes me think you misread my post

do creepy adult ppl having romantic relationships with young school-aged ppl help their romantic partners w/ their homework after the sexing is done?

Pretty sure it's before if Penthouse Forum is to be believed.

tv teens being played by hot 27yos just makes me more attracted to hot 27 yos tho, actual 16 year old girls still just look like little kids to me

Election was such a great illustration in that the teacher who did have sex with a high school kid also spent his time rocking out and talking about how he was going to write the great american novel

Then Matthew Broderick's character has all this misplaced sexual energy and has a dream about the high school student, but he tries to have an affair with an adult woman instead

also, lol banaka

mind panties omg
xxxp

itt djp's dad asks if you saw the ass on beyonce

i just kind of can't believe that the older person in an older/teen relationship isn't manipulating the teenager. maybe not 100% of the time, but probably most of the time. which is kinda why i want to punch that guy in the picture above.

I don't mind discussing Beyonce w/my dad because, while we can bond on being over the hill, skeevey dudes checking out the belles, we also know it's just a window show and nothing else will happen nor would we want it to and I have plenty of experience to show that the appreciation of beauty doesn't diminish w/age nor would I want it to. I see no shame nor feel any compunction about admiring pretty ladies any more than admiring pretty flowers or a sunset. I'm not going to get my mind's panties in a knot 'cause of the way I am programmed.

― Morning becomes apopleptic (Michael White), Thursday, March 1, 2012 4:36 PM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

i agree w/ this. it's not very common, but it is possible to just admire women out of your league/age group from afar in a way that's just kind of passive and not disgustingly anatomical or whatever.

The sexualization of younger and younger women

I cannot tell you how much I disagree with this.

I guess on re-reading I shd clarify that I can see how it would get less viscerally disgusting as you get older, until the point where you and your cohort are, like, responsible adults by some definition, and a woman your age is a "younger" woman but not a "young woman." There are other gendered things about that stance that don't sit right with me but it's not like being in HIGH SCHOOL OR COLLEGE and your dad leering at your friends in front of you, for instance.

has a dream about the high school student

the fact that he fantasizes about her saying "fuck me Mr. McAllister" always makes me lol because what kind of thing is that to say during sex

xp

let Penthouse Forum teach you how to live

damn, Shakey beat me to
http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_l9j5ucgDgF1qzzh6g.jpg

there's definitely some manipulation going on there. that photo looks like 'dad reunited w/daughter after she was rescued from pedo ring' more than 'loving couple celebrates impending nuptials'

always good to get banaka's take on these things

I've never witnessed my dad leering at anybody really so I guess I have not gone through this particular "rite of passage"

maybe he was leering at you

the fucked-up power relationship is kinda implicit in any relationship where you have someone who is of, say, college age or older, pursuing a teenager.

See, I don't think this is true. Although, of course, your phrasing is purposefully built to imply activity on the part of the person who is older and passivity on the part of the younger person. Many people in such relationships would not perceive that as accurate, rather that they entered into a relationship with one another. But the teacher-pupil relationship (and the child's-best-friend relationship) are coming from a base where the power relationship of the older half is very much ingrained, and I find it difficult to see how you can form a healthy partnership from that.

watching Solid Gold with my father was an odd experience because he would shout "WOO! SHAKE IT!" at the Solid Gold Dancers and I would always think to myself "they can't hear you"

The sexualization of younger and younger women

I cannot tell you how much I disagree with this.

knowing you, I'm anticipating some kind of historical argument that is totally OTM

xp

Hey some dude, I was reacting to your calling it "a rite of passage" because that makes it seem like something it's normal to go through, you could even say it's healthy. Like, it's gross to kids when they figure out their parents had/are having sex, too, but we would say that that knowledge is a healthy, if temporarily uncomfortable, part of growing up. I don't think being a witness to your own dad perving on young girls is in the same category.

But the teacher-pupil relationship (and the child's-best-friend relationship) are coming from a base where the power relationship of the older half is very much ingrained, and I find it difficult to see how you can form a healthy partnership from that.

right yeah totally agree with this.