Calif. teacher resigns after leaving family for student

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i feel like it's some kind of rite on passage for most adults with a living father to at some point see your dad leering at (or dating) someone your age or younger and be skeeved out.

Um no and this is fucking disgusting; I think it's an inappropriate normalization of what should be aberrant and unacceptable. The sexualization of younger and younger women in partic is distasteful and the comment about how TV teens are all played by hot 27yos is otm.

drawn to them like a moth toward a spanakopita (Laurel), Thursday, 1 March 2012 21:36 (twelve years ago) link

I don't mind discussing Beyonce w/my dad because, while we can bond on being over the hill, skeevey dudes checking out the belles, we also know it's just a window show and nothing else will happen nor would we want it to and I have plenty of experience to show that the appreciation of beauty doesn't diminish w/age nor would I want it to. I see no shame nor feel any compunction about admiring pretty ladies any more than admiring pretty flowers or a sunset. I'm not going to get my mind's panties in a knot 'cause of the way I am programmed.

Morning becomes apopleptic (Michael White), Thursday, 1 March 2012 21:36 (twelve years ago) link

Guaranteed to kill that urge stone DEAD.

Genuine LOL

Morning becomes apopleptic (Michael White), Thursday, 1 March 2012 21:37 (twelve years ago) link

mind panties lol

Peppermint Patty Hearst (VegemiteGrrl), Thursday, 1 March 2012 21:37 (twelve years ago) link

this incident only confirms the need for sexual freedom. however, by sexual freedom we mean freedom *from* sexuality.

sexuality is an enemy that cannot be reasoned or bargained with. its tyranny knows no bounds. it takes away from biological and mental resources that could be used for much more productive ends, and enables exploitation and inequality of the most insidious sort.

in any rational society reproduction must be decoupled from sexuality. in our model, babies would be grown, not born. eventually there would be the withering away of the need for babies as technology would allow for humans to come into existence as fully formed adult banaka units.

Banaka™ (banaka), Thursday, 1 March 2012 21:37 (twelve years ago) link

Laurel, if i say that something universally skeeves people out, then disagreeing and saying it's "disgusting" and that i'm "normalizing" it, that makes me think you misread my post

some dude, Thursday, 1 March 2012 21:38 (twelve years ago) link

do creepy adult ppl having romantic relationships with young school-aged ppl help their romantic partners w/ their homework after the sexing is done?

Pretty sure it's before if Penthouse Forum is to be believed.

Morning becomes apopleptic (Michael White), Thursday, 1 March 2012 21:38 (twelve years ago) link

tv teens being played by hot 27yos just makes me more attracted to hot 27 yos tho, actual 16 year old girls still just look like little kids to me

iatee, Thursday, 1 March 2012 21:38 (twelve years ago) link

Election was such a great illustration in that the teacher who did have sex with a high school kid also spent his time rocking out and talking about how he was going to write the great american novel

Then Matthew Broderick's character has all this misplaced sexual energy and has a dream about the high school student, but he tries to have an affair with an adult woman instead

valleys of your mind (mh), Thursday, 1 March 2012 21:38 (twelve years ago) link

also, lol banaka

valleys of your mind (mh), Thursday, 1 March 2012 21:38 (twelve years ago) link

mind panties omg
xxxp

be scientific, douchebag (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, 1 March 2012 21:38 (twelve years ago) link

itt djp's dad asks if you saw the ass on beyonce

omar little, Thursday, 1 March 2012 21:39 (twelve years ago) link

i just kind of can't believe that the older person in an older/teen relationship isn't manipulating the teenager. maybe not 100% of the time, but probably most of the time. which is kinda why i want to punch that guy in the picture above.

scott seward, Thursday, 1 March 2012 21:39 (twelve years ago) link

I don't mind discussing Beyonce w/my dad because, while we can bond on being over the hill, skeevey dudes checking out the belles, we also know it's just a window show and nothing else will happen nor would we want it to and I have plenty of experience to show that the appreciation of beauty doesn't diminish w/age nor would I want it to. I see no shame nor feel any compunction about admiring pretty ladies any more than admiring pretty flowers or a sunset. I'm not going to get my mind's panties in a knot 'cause of the way I am programmed.

― Morning becomes apopleptic (Michael White), Thursday, March 1, 2012 4:36 PM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

i agree w/ this. it's not very common, but it is possible to just admire women out of your league/age group from afar in a way that's just kind of passive and not disgustingly anatomical or whatever.

some dude, Thursday, 1 March 2012 21:40 (twelve years ago) link

The sexualization of younger and younger women

I cannot tell you how much I disagree with this.

Morning becomes apopleptic (Michael White), Thursday, 1 March 2012 21:40 (twelve years ago) link

I guess on re-reading I shd clarify that I can see how it would get less viscerally disgusting as you get older, until the point where you and your cohort are, like, responsible adults by some definition, and a woman your age is a "younger" woman but not a "young woman." There are other gendered things about that stance that don't sit right with me but it's not like being in HIGH SCHOOL OR COLLEGE and your dad leering at your friends in front of you, for instance.

drawn to them like a moth toward a spanakopita (Laurel), Thursday, 1 March 2012 21:40 (twelve years ago) link

has a dream about the high school student

the fact that he fantasizes about her saying "fuck me Mr. McAllister" always makes me lol because what kind of thing is that to say during sex

xp

be scientific, douchebag (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, 1 March 2012 21:40 (twelve years ago) link

let Penthouse Forum teach you how to live

Peppermint Patty Hearst (VegemiteGrrl), Thursday, 1 March 2012 21:40 (twelve years ago) link

damn, Shakey beat me to
http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_l9j5ucgDgF1qzzh6g.jpg

Kiarostami bag (milo z), Thursday, 1 March 2012 21:40 (twelve years ago) link

there's definitely some manipulation going on there. that photo looks like 'dad reunited w/daughter after she was rescued from pedo ring' more than 'loving couple celebrates impending nuptials'

omar little, Thursday, 1 March 2012 21:40 (twelve years ago) link

always good to get banaka's take on these things

fully formed adult banaka unit (sleeve), Thursday, 1 March 2012 21:41 (twelve years ago) link

I've never witnessed my dad leering at anybody really so I guess I have not gone through this particular "rite of passage"

be scientific, douchebag (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, 1 March 2012 21:41 (twelve years ago) link

maybe he was leering at you

iatee, Thursday, 1 March 2012 21:42 (twelve years ago) link

the fucked-up power relationship is kinda implicit in any relationship where you have someone who is of, say, college age or older, pursuing a teenager.

See, I don't think this is true. Although, of course, your phrasing is purposefully built to imply activity on the part of the person who is older and passivity on the part of the younger person. Many people in such relationships would not perceive that as accurate, rather that they entered into a relationship with one another. But the teacher-pupil relationship (and the child's-best-friend relationship) are coming from a base where the power relationship of the older half is very much ingrained, and I find it difficult to see how you can form a healthy partnership from that.

emil.y, Thursday, 1 March 2012 21:42 (twelve years ago) link

watching Solid Gold with my father was an odd experience because he would shout "WOO! SHAKE IT!" at the Solid Gold Dancers and I would always think to myself "they can't hear you"

Vaseline MEN AMAZING JOURNEY (DJP), Thursday, 1 March 2012 21:42 (twelve years ago) link

The sexualization of younger and younger women

I cannot tell you how much I disagree with this.

knowing you, I'm anticipating some kind of historical argument that is totally OTM

xp

be scientific, douchebag (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, 1 March 2012 21:42 (twelve years ago) link

Hey some dude, I was reacting to your calling it "a rite of passage" because that makes it seem like something it's normal to go through, you could even say it's healthy. Like, it's gross to kids when they figure out their parents had/are having sex, too, but we would say that that knowledge is a healthy, if temporarily uncomfortable, part of growing up. I don't think being a witness to your own dad perving on young girls is in the same category.

drawn to them like a moth toward a spanakopita (Laurel), Thursday, 1 March 2012 21:43 (twelve years ago) link

But the teacher-pupil relationship (and the child's-best-friend relationship) are coming from a base where the power relationship of the older half is very much ingrained, and I find it difficult to see how you can form a healthy partnership from that.

right yeah totally agree with this.

be scientific, douchebag (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, 1 March 2012 21:43 (twelve years ago) link

my god election is good imna rescreen asap

lag∞n, Thursday, 1 March 2012 21:44 (twelve years ago) link

DJP+Dad bringin the sitcom lolz in this thread

be scientific, douchebag (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, 1 March 2012 21:44 (twelve years ago) link

my dad embarrassed the hell out of me when i was a kid. often. so embarrassing. he was definitely from the mad men 50's. not a bad guy at all, but ugh...

scott seward, Thursday, 1 March 2012 21:44 (twelve years ago) link

mw, sexualization by mass media isn't the same as acknowledging that people of that age have sexuality of their own.

drawn to them like a moth toward a spanakopita (Laurel), Thursday, 1 March 2012 21:44 (twelve years ago) link

Banaka otm

Emperor Cos Dashit (Adam Bruneau), Thursday, 1 March 2012 21:46 (twelve years ago) link

Hey some dude, I was reacting to your calling it "a rite of passage" because that makes it seem like something it's normal to go through, you could even say it's healthy. Like, it's gross to kids when they figure out their parents had/are having sex, too, but we would say that that knowledge is a healthy, if temporarily uncomfortable, part of growing up. I don't think being a witness to your own dad perving on young girls is in the same category.

― drawn to them like a moth toward a spanakopita (Laurel), Thursday, March 1, 2012 4:43 PM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

lots of rites of passage are unhealthy and gross, that wasn't my implication at all. the so-called rite of passage ITSELF involved feeling disgusted.

some dude, Thursday, 1 March 2012 21:46 (twelve years ago) link

what i am saying really is if you can get through your whole life without having the asexual view of your parents that you had as a child tarnished in any way, you are among the few and the fortunate afaict

some dude, Thursday, 1 March 2012 21:47 (twelve years ago) link

And I'm saying that viewing your parents as people with a healthy sexual relationship does not necessarily entail accepting that your dad is going to lust after teenagers all his life because I think that is an embarrassing and shameful way to be and we should not accept it for ourselves in our own lives.

drawn to them like a moth toward a spanakopita (Laurel), Thursday, 1 March 2012 21:49 (twelve years ago) link

mw, sexualization by mass media isn't the same as acknowledging that people of that age have sexuality of their own.

but... young girls were super-heavily sexualized (in lots of cultures) way prior to mass media

xp

be scientific, douchebag (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, 1 March 2012 21:49 (twelve years ago) link

what i am saying really is if you can get through your whole life without having the asexual view of your parents that you had as a child tarnished in any way, you are among the few and the fortunate afaict

I knew I'd told this story on here before

Vaseline MEN AMAZING JOURNEY (DJP), Thursday, 1 March 2012 21:50 (twelve years ago) link

The sexualization of younger and younger women

The sexualization of women happens when it happens and it usually happens pretty young (hello, what does pornography originally mean?) and it's precisely culture and 'civilization' and morality that tends to make people have to wait before shagging like stoats. If a man is a man at 13 in Jewish culture and a mere girl can be married at (to me) obscenely young ages in arranged marriage cultures where the consummation happens at 12 or 13 or 14; in a world where life expectancy was in the 40's or 50's until fairly recently, the current re-sexualization of adolescents is just reverting to the human id, albeit for other id reasons like money (status) or greed.

Morning becomes apopleptic (Michael White), Thursday, 1 March 2012 21:51 (twelve years ago) link

Is that whole story I've heard about the origin of women shaving their legs generally true?

valleys of your mind (mh), Thursday, 1 March 2012 21:52 (twelve years ago) link

Yeah, shakes, but those cultures were quite likely fucked up? Like, those young women were valued by older and more powerful men for their virginity, their fertility, the fact that as soon as they got married off at age 15, women had 29 kids and aged 20 years prematurely until they died in childbirth? Whatevs, they didn't exactly get the awesome end of the stick. So I don't see why examples like that should be aspirational?

drawn to them like a moth toward a spanakopita (Laurel), Thursday, 1 March 2012 21:52 (twelve years ago) link

Yeah, shakes, but those cultures were quite likely fucked up?

writing off an awfully huge swathe of civilization here

be scientific, douchebag (Shakey Mo Collier), Thursday, 1 March 2012 21:54 (twelve years ago) link

most of civilization has been pretty fucked up, in retrospect

iatee, Thursday, 1 March 2012 21:54 (twelve years ago) link

And I'm saying that viewing your parents as people with a healthy sexual relationship does not necessarily entail accepting that your dad is going to lust after teenagers all his life because I think that is an embarrassing and shameful way to be and we should not accept it for ourselves in our own lives.

― drawn to them like a moth toward a spanakopita (Laurel), Thursday, March 1, 2012 4:49 PM (4 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

ok i'm not gonna keep stopping you from making these huge leaps of logic from what i said onto what you think i'm saying so have fun with that

some dude, Thursday, 1 March 2012 21:55 (twelve years ago) link

Also, something I have never, ever got; why is the fact that your parents are fucking so gross to people? Do you really live in such an artifically antiseptic world that you would wish upon your parents that they become eunuchs? Did you never see happy lovers as a kid? Never see horses or butterflies rutting? Never wonder at the driven resiliance of salmon swimming upstream to spawn and die?

I just...don't get it and I never have.

Morning becomes apopleptic (Michael White), Thursday, 1 March 2012 21:55 (twelve years ago) link

mw you are talking about having a personal sexuality. This thread is specif about inappropriately older men having sex with or wanting to have sex with really young women. If you want to argue that you think it's awesome that you can fantasize about fucking teenagers and you feel good about being that guy, obviously that's up to you.

drawn to them like a moth toward a spanakopita (Laurel), Thursday, 1 March 2012 21:56 (twelve years ago) link

hmm I just don't want to think about my dad's penis, I guess, why is that complicated

iatee, Thursday, 1 March 2012 21:56 (twelve years ago) link

i don't think pointing out how these relationships could've been, might've been normative in totally different history/context/culture/experience has any bearing on how they occur in our culture where they're certainly not normative. did we invent the idea of childhood (and later teenagehood) fairly recently in human history? yes. but now that they're been invented, it's not like they're just made-up nonsense. partially they were invented bc they were needed. just bc children were forced to labor throughout human history doesn't mean we should do it now.

Mordy, Thursday, 1 March 2012 21:57 (twelve years ago) link


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