This is a thread for ILXORS IN THEIR 50's

Our cohort is few, but mighty.

abbott being a sexy cold war scientist

OH MY GOD WHY WAS I NEVER THAT

I remember Howdy Doody.

and i thought i was old for remembering leaded gasoline!

madonna, michael jackson, prince and ME -- i am now 50 and 1/2.

sept 1968 was like the gayest time to enter high school

everyone cool in those days were entering college

there is truth lurking here -- people in our sub-generation have a complicated relationship w/our older sibs, the 60s baby boomers. this usage of "gay" is uhm, anachronisitic, or something. (I entered HS in 72 FWIW.)

anachronistic! edgy, you mean!!1!

so is bimble part of this exclusive club?

I didn't expect to get shoulder and back hair this late in the game.

ha was wondering what you meant in the 40s thread

what's up y'all

had a cardiologist call me at 7am to cancel my appointment (snow)

this morning the dentist said that my teeth with metal fillings will all eventually need crowns; seems legit, the youngest of those fillings is 40+ years old

i went to the dentist for lots of work this past year, first time since forever, and it was all space aged nano whatever shit and i think the dentist and his assistant were legit smirking at my one old iron ore filling from when i was a teenager, fifty years ago, in an eastern bloc nation

oh hi, I'm 54 now

peeing takes a long time

backache is a thing

(knocks on wood)

As hinted above, I have a cardiologist now! My primary doctor, who has pretty amazing raw skills -- like hearing -- apparently, thought he heard a murmur in my heartbeat last month. GREAT!

It turns out I have an "unconcerning" prolapse which is a "2" (not a 3 or a 4), so it just has to be checked every year from now on.

Aging is a motherfucker.

all the best morbs

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Murmur_(album)#/media/File:R.E.M._-_Murmur.jpg

i am two years older than william hartnell in this picture :D

https://ichef.bbci.co.uk/images/ic/1920x1080/p01hg14p.jpg

(obviously i have regenerated several times: also did not grow up in poverty etc)

He got paid five times more per ep than Anneke Wills was, to make up for the poverty stricken childhood!

what a feelin'

mainly feeling it in my lower back today

Rapidly approaching Sammy Hagar milestone.

Minutemen?

Can you hear me, Dr. Mu

Imagine my surprise

Just realized that the “ordinary guy” in Pavement’s “Stereo” is maybe a reference to “Dr. Wu.” I still got it!

Oh wait

I just went through all the tests you are supposed to do when you get to 50, only 7 years late.

Anyway, all passed 100%, so hey!

I guess that lower back pain is gonna go in the "what do you expect at yr age?" cart.

Thanks for reminding me. I just did the same with one test, the biggest of all, remaining to be done in the next few months. If the news is bad I will speed post my remaining backlog of screennames.

I was Big C diagnosed about five months after turning 50, so maybe i didn't get the other tests.

(i'm mostly OK now, just medicated)

He got paid five times more per ep than Anneke Wills was, to make up for the poverty stricken childhood!

― calzino

for two months and then he got sacked. quintessential "being in your '50s" experience tbh

Definitely another bummer about being in your 50s. If you lose your job, you can't necessarily bounce back. You might never have a salaried position again.

Definitely another bummer about being in your 50s. If you lose your job, you can't necessarily bounce back. You might never have a salaried position again.

HI DERE. Raise your hand if you have been rendered depressed, rudderless, and without direction because you've structured your life around a eight-hour, salaryman working schedule for so long that when you were inevitably disrupted out of your career you've become addicted to the anxiety and panic of not being able to focus. oops TMI

raises hand

in my case it took several years to work through the trauma of being ejected and to figure out other ways to live ... I won't trivialize the difficulties involved, but now the only thing I miss from my salaryman days is the income

i need the med coverage

As mentioned on the other thread, in January I was made redundant 7 days before I hit 50.
my skills are probably no longer in demand (manual software tester) due to an increased focus on automated testing, and to be honest, I think I have had enough of software/corporate culture.
The last few months I have been a stay at home dad, and will probably remain so while mk2 goes through his teenage trials and tribulations (3 more years).
The very idea of being the Office New Boy at the age of 50 fills me with dread, and I know it would bring on a lot of stress and anxiety.
I am in a 'fortunate' position in that due to life insurance, I have no mortgage and get a small occupational pension from BH so will not be made homeless or starve, but coming to terms with a very different financial outlook is still the big stumbling block.
That and daytime TV.
Thank goodness for 'Walter Presents .. '.

In other news : re lower back pain.
Having sat on my arse in an office for 30 years the last 2 years were very problematic re my back.
My solution : swimming.
I have started swimming 4 times a week (roughly 1km each time), and the change has been very noticeable.

Slightly overlapping with what I said on the Forties thread, but I was made redundant at 51, also due to having skills which are no longer in demand. My partner has always earned a lot more than me, so we were OK - but then he was made redundant last year, at 58. Thankfully his skills are still in demand, but he refuses to re-dose himself with the poison of corporate culture - so it's taking a while to sort things out, and we are having to be careful with money, for the first time since our twenties.

I cover my monthly outgoings with DJ-ing (a weekly gig and a monthly gig) and Discogs selling (I inherited a rare and valuable collection, and am being ruthless with my own). We also have a lodger, for the first time in nearly thirty years - a good friend, also in his fifties, going through a divorce and coming to terms with being on the gay side of bi. He hates his job and wants to change back to his old career, but it would involve a precarious salary drop, at least to begin with, which isn't great timing when you're getting divorced.

Despite this difficulties, my net life satisfaction level is still hugely in credit. I feel busy, fulfilled, and grateful for all I've got. But I can't deny the presence of a persistent low-level background hum, which says "You are uniquely unemployable. Everyone else can get jobs, but you haven't got what it takes." It's bullshit, but it's there.

Fuck those cry baby under 50s in that other thread. Here's to getting Saga Holiday ads and people ringing me to ask if I want to cash in my pension and/or release some equity from my home and to being told I can't increase my life insurance because YOU R 2 OLD.

Also I just put up a desk, not too shabby eh? I'll be paying for it tomorrow mind.

it doesn't start getting real until you can't remember your 40s

xp Incidentally my pension is not worth the paper it's printed on so who's laughing now Mr Random Cold Caller?

it gets really real when your pathetic gig income and Obamacare fast-track you to bankruptcy

what a feelin'

― the ignatius rock of ignorance (Dr Morbius), Monday, July 2, 2018 8:55 AM (one year ago) bookmarkflaglink

Right in my knees.

oh hi, I'm 54 now
peeing takes a long time

― WilliamC, Thursday, January 4, 2018 12:24 PM

Seven weeks shy of 56, but I found the secret: constant impotent rage keeps me young.

momus is almost 50

He’ll be 60 in February.

Fuck those cry baby under 50s in that other thread.

They're just coming to grips with their ultimate mortality, poor dears. Be kind to them.

I’m 55 and having a pretty good time.

I seem to have rediscovered my mojo this year: got serious about my job, holidayed in Japan, rekindled my interests in art and photography, good clothes (lost 40lb weight which helped), and the joy of short breaks by Eurostar.

My dad died at 54 and I have now lived longer him which is disorienting and weird.

My body failed pretty catastrophically when I was 52

I got a liver transplant from a 30-something donor, so part of me is younger, I guess?

Anyway nowadays I find I am way less bothered by typical aging-body creaks and aches and noises and twinges of pain: all are signs that I'm still on the correct side of the ground.

I'm nearly 51. As I've seen and experienced more people my age and younger pass away it's def been on my mind.

Hard living rock stars is one thing, but general upkeep is another. Year or two ago had a conversation with some friends that was all about all the dr visits and medicine. Some of the people my age passing away and/or just not thriving may have lived hard lives but also maybe just don't have health insurance and aren't constantly seeing doctors. I literally take 10 pills a day or more and am constantly doing lab work and dr's visits. I don't take the best care of myself, but I'm maintaining and monitored. Wasn't like this 20 years ago.

Anyway nowadays I find I am way less bothered by typical aging-body creaks and aches and noises and twinges of pain: all are signs that I'm still on the correct side of the ground.

this is so real -- I'm 58; four years ago I was in terrific shape, the best shape of my life, and then lockdown ended and my workpace resumed its destabilizing rhythm and the next thing you know it was injuries and pauses and re-injuries and now my baseline pain level is 3, every day, higher most days; and if I was 38, this would break me, I'd be crying all day about how I can't function & I've fucked it all up. and now? I go "fuck, that hurts, well, lol what can you do, only so many hours in a day to get things done can't be all focused on what hurts," and it's REAL, like that's how I feel deep down about it and I love it. people talk when you're young about "the ability to laugh at yourself" and I always took this phrase as a little suspect but being able to regard the real ache and real pain of an aging body as something funny about the whole story, it's so liberating for me

I absolutely love this about being older, being able to choose a perspective on something as formerly catastrophic to my equilibrium as massive changes in what I can or cannot do and whether I'm in pain or not.

Good post, totally agree!

I slipped on some black ice coming home from work on NYE and fell on my elbow. It hurt, I still have a bruise and some pain 2 weeks later and yet I feel whatever about it. At least I didn't smash up my moneymaker/s! (face, hands, legs)

One benefit (?) I've found from my parents now living near me is that I get up-close looks all the time at what aging does to bodies. They're 79 and 81, neither is in relatively bad shape — my mom goes to the gym with me multiple days a week, and my dad is fairly sedentary but not in lots of pain unless he tries to, like, walk more than a block or two. But between them they have a very bad hip, a very bad knee, chronic back problems, and some noticeable cognitive decline. And they're 23 and 25 years older than me. I can do the math, I remember 23 and 25 years ago quite clearly so I know that's not that far off. I have no fantasy that it'll be "different" for me — I mean, it will be because everyone ages a bit differently, but decline is inevitable.

My mom doesn't complain about anything, and I've never seen her in any pain or anything, or at least she's never acknowledged it. But she's worn out the cartilage in her knees, and at 80 she's worried the recovery from any surgery would be longer and worse than just enduring the creeping discomfort, but I dunno. She apparently bought herself some hiking polls for trips she's taking, so I guess she'll see how she fares.

A long while ago, maybe 15 years, I slipped down the outside stairs twice one winter. Neither time did I injure myself, and at worst I was maybe a little sore the next day. This winter there have been a few icy close calls that didn't take me down but I could/can sense had I taken a tumble I would have felt that for days.

I slipped on one recent hike (ironically I was trying to avoid an ice patch on the trail and slid on soft pine needles instead), took a proper tumble, and jammed my left foot into a rock. It didn't hurt a lot at the time, but 6 weeks on it's still kinda sore, had to tape it for several weeks. Recovery time is a very real thing.

It definitely reminded me not to be cavalier about stuff I used to not think about at all, like rock-hopping across streams etc.

I went hiking yesterday and was definitely very slow and careful about descending rocky slopes. I had not realized how sedentary I'd become, but at about the halfway mark I literally had to lie down on a bench for a minute; I was completely out of breath. But I think I'm gonna keep at it; I am not an exercise person at all — every time I decide to, like, start lifting weights or something, I last about three days — but taking a walk in the woods is a much more attractive prospect.

that's the good stuff

My dad (85) recently slipped on black ice and hit his head when he fell. He is fine; insisted he was fine at the time and didn’t go to urgent care until after attending the college level music theory class he was taking (this is a whole other series of posts) but until he got examined and had a clean bill of health, I felt like Incas watching two sets of lives flash before my eyes; his and my own without him as the vital, with-it man I’ve always known him to be. This then started me down the path of realizing that I’m not that far away from where he is assuming everything continues to go well for me, and that was a sobering, terrifying thought because I still don’t really feel like an adult, so how the hell am I going to navigate being elderly?

As someone who spent the majority of my life convinced I wouldn’t make it to 50 (hard living + mental health stuff that is genetic) … this over 50 thing is a weird adventure and I have become more appreciative of life.

Xp DJP - I feel like your view of your dad is like mine with my mom. She’s 80, still works, her brain is still pretty sharp, though she got anxious the other day when she struggled to remember the term “relational database” … this wasn’t a term she was ever in the habit of using either.

ftr “Incas” is a typo for “I was”, stupid autocorrect

It’s really both of my parents, we have been incredibly blessed by their health and mental acuity (they drive cross country multiple times a year still, it’s amazing) and I keep looking at both of them thinking “what are all the things I’m currently doing in my life to sabotage this outcome for myself”

RIP my plans for investigating the Incan belief in double lives

haha same ^^^^ it was very poetic

like an Inca in Peru

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rQtEpYiA3Es