worst sounding sushi roll at guy fieri's southern bbq & california style sushi restaurant tex wasabi's

Last week, Alton Brown pinched his nasal bridge and tried to save a contestant on his team (whose "P.O.V." was health food, after having lost over a hundred pounds) by sharing a distinctly Alton Brown–like serving of profundity on what it is like to be overweight — one has to sell oneself because one feels so unattractive, so clumsy. It was sort of moving: So, Alton was once fat. The contestant cried, and then was eliminated. Nobody tasted his food.

there's this sandwich place, moochie's, that food network star guy fieri recently visited. i got the meatball sandwich and IT WAS HORRIBLE and the place gave me a panic attack. the end.

Noble Pig in Austin is really good, but I feel like I should hate it now

you probably got rickets from Guy Fieri's recooked sweat.

I've been very successful at ignoring all facts and knowledge about this dude because I didn't realize until now that he was a result of The Next Food Network Star

curse you, Food Network, curse you infinity times

Ok Guy Fieri, now it's personal.

So as mentioned previously, he was featuring my favorite sandwich shop on his show. I go there today for some lunch and find a line out the door and down the block. I don't care how awesome their food is, I'm not waiting in line for an hour in 90+ weather just to get a sandwich. My only hope now is that the mania either trails off or they expand.

Fuuuccckkk yoooouuu Guy Fieri!!!!

you probably got rickets from Guy Fieri's recooked sweat.

― a regina spektor is haunting europe (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Tuesday, June 12, 2012 11:18 AM (1 week ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

this post still haunts my thoughts

Moodles

whos tess lynch & y she link 2 ilx

someone who's crashing our secret party!!!

http://www.salon.com/2012/10/19/the_butching_up_of_the_american_kitchen/

At the end of the day, the food at Guy’s American Kitchen & Bar is garbage

talk about burying the lede

when I get a chance I'll post the highlights of a conversation I just had with a friend about this article

spoilers: Guy Fieri probably doesn't have a deep inner life

shouldn't guy fieri's sushi rolls be called gaijin sushi

when you say "inner life" around Guy Fieri he thinks you're referring to the babyback rib sushi rolls he's microwaving.

http://observer.com/2012/10/the-crispy-crimes-of-guy-fieri/?show=all

You are led by a cheery hostess — everyone who works at Guy’s American is very nice — past giant television screens showing an endless loop of Mr. Fieri opening his goatee-framed sphincter-mouth to welcome a panoply of fried matter

http://images2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20101219050510/dune/images/7/7d/Guild_navigatortank.jpg

You are led by a cheery hostess — everyone who works at Guy’s American is very nice — past giant television screens showing an endless loop of Mr. Fieri opening his goatee-framed sphincter-mouth to welcome a panoply of fried matter

disappointed to learn Marilyn Hagerty didn't write this review

http://twitter.com/drcmachina/status/136290335138643968

like i was going to pass up this username

this guy's such an easy target, but i dont think i'll ever get tired of reading about him

hello, readers of grantland

http://www.grantland.com/blog/hollywood-prospectus/post/_/id/51142/the-guy-fieri-problem-on-the-next-food-network-star

― J0rdan S., Tuesday, June 12, 2012 2:05 PM (4 months ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

(for the rest of you, scroll down to the "brisket sushi" link in that piece)

― J0rdan S., Tuesday, June 12, 2012 2:06 PM (4 months ago) Bookmark

wait... what the... what the hell. is she an ilxer

huh

damn!

Probably just a random googler.

this is the fourth result for "guy fieri sushi rolls"

A mammoth reproduction of one of Mr. Fieri’s tattoos, featuring Botticelli’s Venus with “Namaste” written above it and “Morgan,” the name of Mr. Fieri’s deceased sister, below, hangs next to the bar.

whoa

how many of you would eat this:

http://images.tblog.com/user_images/1175867819_cutepuppy.jpg

What if it had a voice?

What if it had a really annoying voice?

I'd hit it with my shoe before I'd put that in my mouth

http://static.stomp.com.sg/site/servlet/linkableblob/stomp/286202/data/091204_ss_insects1jpg1259912675838-data.jpg

enough about your sex life xp

I walked right into that

i would probably eat that and then feel really unhappy about it afterwards

I'd be afraid it'd crawl back out while I was sleeping

don't worry; it will

;_;

http://a3.ec-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/119/97b4b790c8886984965942c5624da57c/l.jpg

this is turning into "Out With Stefon: A Photoessay"

it's getting very fetish-y

re: the article I posted:

The idea that the Fieri style of male interest in cooking or food is this overblown, hyper-stereotypically masculinized thing is ridiculous. As if cooking or knowledge of food preparation, as a non-professional, is somehow feminine so you have to do something to the process or result to make it masculine. It's obviously not true across the board, but I feel like the nuclear family structure with the homemaking wife has really destroyed the ability of men to cultivate actual interests beyond adolescent hyper-stylized versions of "man work" or "man hobbies." The Home Improvement analogy in the article is decent -- Fieri's restaurants aren't really about good food, they're about ridiculous stereotypes of food types that men are allowed to like. Which means 95% bbq, apparently.

I think among dudes I know who are into cooking, most are still much more likely to brag about buying a smoker than a nice food processor

off topic but: i decided that the worst way to wake up in the morning would be to have this guy come into your room yelling at you, screaming about barbecue sauce

mr veg is has a p good balance between the more stereotypical bbq dude and 'inside cooking' - very much into bbq, but will crow about the amazing onion & caper panade he made too :)

This thread just got very http://www.movie-censorship.com/www/SBs/4427963/e_cover.jpg

one of my friends will never let me forget the time I asked if he wanted to split a creme brulee w/ me

the other part of the conversation I had this morning was about how the other men cited in the article, Gordon Ramsay and Anthony Bourdain, aren't really the same sort of thing. Ramsay has assertive, bellowing bit down but has an actual food background. His media presence is pretty thin, character-wise, but he's capable of some nuance. Bourdain has a shtick, but his presented character is wider -- he'll talk about eating oysters as a kid while visiting relatives in France, or admit that shooting guns or whatever really makes him uncomfortable.

I think the tattoo-as-mural (namaste? venus? dead sister's name?) is another piece of evidence confirming that what we see of Fieri is pretty much his whole persona, there's no off-air different dude, and not that much depth

Did panic grip your soul as you stared into the whirling hypno wheel of the menu, where adjectives and nouns spin in a crazy vortex? When you saw the burger described as “Guy’s Pat LaFrieda custom blend, all-natural Creekstone Farm Black Angus beef patty, LTOP (lettuce, tomato, onion + pickle), SMC (super-melty-cheese) and a slathering of Donkey Sauce on garlic-buttered brioche,” did your mind touch the void for a minute?

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/11/14/dining/reviews/restaurant-review-guys-american-kitchen-bar-in-times-square.html?pagewanted=2&_r=0&pagewanted=all

love it