worst sounding sushi roll at guy fieri's southern bbq & california style sushi restaurant tex wasabi's

this guy's such an easy target, but i dont think i'll ever get tired of reading about him

hello, readers of grantland

http://www.grantland.com/blog/hollywood-prospectus/post/_/id/51142/the-guy-fieri-problem-on-the-next-food-network-star

― J0rdan S., Tuesday, June 12, 2012 2:05 PM (4 months ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

(for the rest of you, scroll down to the "brisket sushi" link in that piece)

― J0rdan S., Tuesday, June 12, 2012 2:06 PM (4 months ago) Bookmark

wait... what the... what the hell. is she an ilxer

huh

damn!

Probably just a random googler.

this is the fourth result for "guy fieri sushi rolls"

A mammoth reproduction of one of Mr. Fieri’s tattoos, featuring Botticelli’s Venus with “Namaste” written above it and “Morgan,” the name of Mr. Fieri’s deceased sister, below, hangs next to the bar.

whoa

how many of you would eat this:

http://images.tblog.com/user_images/1175867819_cutepuppy.jpg

What if it had a voice?

What if it had a really annoying voice?

I'd hit it with my shoe before I'd put that in my mouth

http://static.stomp.com.sg/site/servlet/linkableblob/stomp/286202/data/091204_ss_insects1jpg1259912675838-data.jpg

enough about your sex life xp

I walked right into that

i would probably eat that and then feel really unhappy about it afterwards

I'd be afraid it'd crawl back out while I was sleeping

don't worry; it will

;_;

http://a3.ec-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/119/97b4b790c8886984965942c5624da57c/l.jpg

this is turning into "Out With Stefon: A Photoessay"

it's getting very fetish-y

re: the article I posted:

The idea that the Fieri style of male interest in cooking or food is this overblown, hyper-stereotypically masculinized thing is ridiculous. As if cooking or knowledge of food preparation, as a non-professional, is somehow feminine so you have to do something to the process or result to make it masculine. It's obviously not true across the board, but I feel like the nuclear family structure with the homemaking wife has really destroyed the ability of men to cultivate actual interests beyond adolescent hyper-stylized versions of "man work" or "man hobbies." The Home Improvement analogy in the article is decent -- Fieri's restaurants aren't really about good food, they're about ridiculous stereotypes of food types that men are allowed to like. Which means 95% bbq, apparently.

I think among dudes I know who are into cooking, most are still much more likely to brag about buying a smoker than a nice food processor

off topic but: i decided that the worst way to wake up in the morning would be to have this guy come into your room yelling at you, screaming about barbecue sauce

mr veg is has a p good balance between the more stereotypical bbq dude and 'inside cooking' - very much into bbq, but will crow about the amazing onion & caper panade he made too :)

This thread just got very http://www.movie-censorship.com/www/SBs/4427963/e_cover.jpg

one of my friends will never let me forget the time I asked if he wanted to split a creme brulee w/ me

the other part of the conversation I had this morning was about how the other men cited in the article, Gordon Ramsay and Anthony Bourdain, aren't really the same sort of thing. Ramsay has assertive, bellowing bit down but has an actual food background. His media presence is pretty thin, character-wise, but he's capable of some nuance. Bourdain has a shtick, but his presented character is wider -- he'll talk about eating oysters as a kid while visiting relatives in France, or admit that shooting guns or whatever really makes him uncomfortable.

I think the tattoo-as-mural (namaste? venus? dead sister's name?) is another piece of evidence confirming that what we see of Fieri is pretty much his whole persona, there's no off-air different dude, and not that much depth

Did panic grip your soul as you stared into the whirling hypno wheel of the menu, where adjectives and nouns spin in a crazy vortex? When you saw the burger described as “Guy’s Pat LaFrieda custom blend, all-natural Creekstone Farm Black Angus beef patty, LTOP (lettuce, tomato, onion + pickle), SMC (super-melty-cheese) and a slathering of Donkey Sauce on garlic-buttered brioche,” did your mind touch the void for a minute?

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/11/14/dining/reviews/restaurant-review-guys-american-kitchen-bar-in-times-square.html?pagewanted=2&_r=0&pagewanted=all

love it

DONKEY SAUCE

ATMOSPHERE 500 seats, three levels, three bars, one chaotic mess.

SERVICE The well-meaning staff seems to realize that this is not a real restaurant.

DONKEY

SAUCE

"Donkey Sauce":

1 cup prepared mayonnaise
1/4 cup roasted garlic
1 teaspoon regular yellow mustard
4 dashes Worcestershire sauce
1/4 teaspoon kosher salt
4 pinches ground black pepper


Mix the mayonnaise, roasted garlic, mustard, Worcestershire, salt and pepper together until smooth. Yield: about 1 cup.

Groucho: Waiter, do you have donkey sauce here?
Waiter: Yes, sir.
Groucho: Well squeeze one and bring me a glass.

i don't get the trillin dis

it's not a dis

honestly the times getting all quiddities on this crap makes we want to defend it #teamfieri

Trillin did what fuckface donkey sauce does on his horrific show only he wrote about it instead of appearing on Teevee

http://www.culinate.com/books/collections/all_books/The+Tummy+Trilogy

xpost

yeah I kinda had the same feeling xp

hate the form of the review, enjoy its content

if not for the sake of those well-meaning but self-aware employees

that article is horrific--second person????

like idk it sounds like if you went to guy fieri's time square flavorville, you're not really doing any worse than going to the tgi fridays or olive garden or bubba gump that are also there

you're not doing any better, either

congrats guy fieri, you have gone to a zillion food places and tried to explain why they're good on air, and have come up with a restaurant no worse than applebees

give the tourists what they want

times square maps exactly to the interior of the mall of america basically, minus a naked cowboy or a spongebob rollercoaster or w/e

Can you dance with the Fieri by the pale moonlight? Can you?