worst sounding sushi roll at guy fieri's southern bbq & california style sushi restaurant tex wasabi's

I just re-read that review as sung by JG Thirwell

martini glass should be made of pita

― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl),

with a side of spinach artichoke

"hot horse" does sound like it could be a guy recipe name

my favs jack ass

i can't vouch for the truth of the story. i can vouch for the fact said ruxpin fire-setter did a shitload of drugs and is now a successful lawyer.

I'm just picturing Mamma D with a table full of terrifying sushi rolls cramming them in her face with one hand and writing her yelp review in real time with the other

YUUUUUUUUUUMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

</paul harvey>

that's an xpost but honestly at this point this thread is a mutant star trek fungus growing of its own accord

http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_l7f5xgfuud1qc86xn.jpg

phrase that just popped into my head: guy fieri's hot ham hocks

apparently the wabojito is this:

Splash raspberry puree (or 5 to 6 fresh raspberries)
8 to 10 fresh mint leaves plus more, for garnish
1 lime, juice
Ice
2 ounces silver tequila (recommended: Cabo Wabo Silver)
Splash sweet and sour mix
Soda Water
Fresh raspberries, for garnish

so I think I mentioned this upthread but guy fieri apparently stopped by a mexican place I go to in queens for his show, and he left behind his image spray paint stenciled on the wall w/ his signature

the fuck was teddy ruxpin's creepy bug friend's name again

I just want to know if she means the nape of her neck when she says "her kitchen", as in the sentence "oof I've got peas in my kitchen, time to make a hair appointment"

here we go
http://farm3.staticflickr.com/2789/4459126334_dba9293927_m.jpg

he does it to all the restaurants

the fuck was teddy ruxpin's creepy bug friend's name again

guy fieri

i mean i could easily wikipedia this but you know i'm too busy listening to faith and weeping

Goatee. Pigtails.

Michelle S.
It's a simple question, doctor. Would you eat the moon if it were made of…
Oakland, CA

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9/27/2008
Um, this was not my idea. And, I know you're going to read this and think to yourself, "Well, duh! OF COURSE the sushi was horrific because you ate it at a glorified Cattlemen's-Outback-TGI Friday's with samauri swords on the walls!!!!!" Yes, I am aware that I should not be surprised. However, this was not my idea and, well, sometimes you have to "take one for the team" and pretend to eat mediocre food because it is in front of someone you love. Well, now that that's behind me, I am totally allowed to give my uncensored Yelp reviews about the shitty restaurants that I was dragged to because I am no longer worried about Mr. Urban Socialite stalking me on Yelp and possibly having his feelings hurt.

Phew, movingalongthen....

The BBQ was mediocre at best and the sushi was, um, well, if a menu actually has a "gringo sushi" section, PASS.

I want to throw up extra stars for the waiter whose goatee was long enough to put into little pigtails because that's kinda cool in the "wow, they are allowed additional flair in order to express themselves"...then I realized that he handled my food...

doodle bug

Worlds of Wonder made different outfits for Teddy & Grubby. These were sold separately and include:

Flying Outfit
Hiking Outfit (both Teddy and Grubby had their own version)
Nightshirt
Raincoat
Christmas Outfit
Sleeping Outfit (both Teddy and Grubby had their own version)
Summertime Outfit
Tuxedo
Winter Outfit
Workout Outfit

"Raincoat"

from now on, we will refer to Guy Fieri as "Doodle Bug"

It looks like it says "GUY FITE HERE." Like, either this is the prearranged spot where GUYS meet to FITE, or GUY is saying ME FITE HERE.

wait they had a bug called grubby

now im glad i set that fucker on fire

This looks good:

Tahini Surprise

Egg white
1 lime, squeezed
1/4 inch scallion, chopped
3/4 oz demerara
1/2 oz Tahini Paste
1 chunk Pineapple
1/2 oz Dolin Blanc
1/2 oz Velvet Falernum
2 oz Gran Sierpe Pisco

http://cocktailenthusiast.com/2010/07/09/gran-sierpe-piscos-iron-chef-cocktails/

Doodle Bug just made the whole room smell like chorizo : (

from now on we will refer to Guy Fieri as "Brocktoon"

from now on, we will refer to Guy Fieri as "Doodle Bug"

― I loves you, PORGI (DJP), Wednesday, November 14, 2012 12:40 PM (20 seconds ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

oh please don't, I use that as a term of endearment for my partner

http://i.imgur.com/p1BHA.jpg

so I think I mentioned this upthread but guy fieri apparently stopped by a mexican place I go to in queens for his show, and he left behind his image spray paint stenciled on the wall w/ his signature

the spray made of fried mushrooms and fecal matter

This looks good:

Tahini Surprise

Egg white
1 lime, squeezed
1/4 inch scallion, chopped
3/4 oz demerara
1/2 oz Tahini Paste
1 chunk Pineapple
1/2 oz Dolin Blanc
1/2 oz Velvet Falernum
2 oz Gran Sierpe Pisco

http://cocktailenthusiast.com/2010/07/09/gran-sierpe-piscos-iron-chef-cocktails/

― nuts spats (Austerity Ponies), Wednesday, November 14, 2012 12:41 PM (17 seconds ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

jesus christ

imagining jordan and strongo driving cross country to eat tex wasabi sushi listening to teddy ruxpin belt out faith over and over again

maybe these are only amusing me but fuckit, this one is gold

430 friends
455 reviews

Jenn N.
Love like there's no tomorrow.
Brentwood, CA

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3/7/2011 1 Check-in Here
I'm your huckleberry...

Tex Wasabi's is my restaurant huckleberry. We didn't have reservations but took a chance on a Saturday night and popped in. We were seated quickly - near the fireplace, no less! At first Kung Fu Panda was playing on the big screen but that soon faded to Tombstone. Both winners in my book.

We ordered a modestly priced (A 2009 Tamas Pinot Grigio) bottle of wine for the table. Low price or not, it was great. That tells me they are careful to put together a superb wine list.

In vino veritas.

I excitedly ordered the dirty magazine roll and had a back-up plan. Just in case they were going to break my heart and no longer serve that. Luckily they were and it was every bit as beautiful as I would have imagined.

We also ordered a brisket sandwich that was A-M-A-Z-I-N-G. The fries were fresh, tasty and crispy. I didn't try the ribs but all who ordered them were raving.

My only critique was of the soy sauce. It was definitly off/old, bleh. I could have asked for a new bottle but I was 2 or 3 glasses of vino in and well,..I didn't really care at that point.

A one man band set up half way through our meal. He had everyone singing along to "It Ain't Me Babe". My daughter lit up at that one, as she has been on a Johnny Cash kick lately.

Service was a bit slow toward the end of the meal but we were having such a great time, I barely noticed.

pretty sure this is what i was meant to do tbh

oh please don't, I use that as a term of endearment for my partner

― does smooshing cloacae together actually count as sodomy??? (silby), Wednesday, November 14, 2012 5:42 PM (53 seconds ago)

tell us what guy is really like

HANDS OFF, SILBY, HE'S MINE

i mean uh as you were

wait they have a "dirty magazine" roll

his cloaca is p foul xps

haha VG you are killing me with those Yelp reviews

the barely legal roll

http://zcater.com/images/gallery/kosher-40.jpg

wait they have a "dirty magazine" roll

― Me order! Me Fieri! Me run Flavortown! (jjjusten),

multiple layers of nori stuck together with donkey sauce

man guys part two of "i want your sex" is even wacker than i remembered

soft, moist rice wrapped up in penthouse papers

I excitedly ordered the dirty magazine roll and had a back-up plan.

We need a poll: Tex Wasabi review or 50 Shades of Grey excerpt?

dear penthouse, i know you won't believe this, but i smell like shaved ham to prove it...

step one: make a "bloody brain" cocktail
step two: pour it into a hard taco shell

if you think I smell bad wait til you smell teddy ruxpin