worst sounding sushi roll at guy fieri's southern bbq & california style sushi restaurant tex wasabi's

the fuck was teddy ruxpin's creepy bug friend's name again

guy fieri

i mean i could easily wikipedia this but you know i'm too busy listening to faith and weeping

Goatee. Pigtails.

Michelle S.
It's a simple question, doctor. Would you eat the moon if it were made of…
Oakland, CA

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9/27/2008
Um, this was not my idea. And, I know you're going to read this and think to yourself, "Well, duh! OF COURSE the sushi was horrific because you ate it at a glorified Cattlemen's-Outback-TGI Friday's with samauri swords on the walls!!!!!" Yes, I am aware that I should not be surprised. However, this was not my idea and, well, sometimes you have to "take one for the team" and pretend to eat mediocre food because it is in front of someone you love. Well, now that that's behind me, I am totally allowed to give my uncensored Yelp reviews about the shitty restaurants that I was dragged to because I am no longer worried about Mr. Urban Socialite stalking me on Yelp and possibly having his feelings hurt.

Phew, movingalongthen....

The BBQ was mediocre at best and the sushi was, um, well, if a menu actually has a "gringo sushi" section, PASS.

I want to throw up extra stars for the waiter whose goatee was long enough to put into little pigtails because that's kinda cool in the "wow, they are allowed additional flair in order to express themselves"...then I realized that he handled my food...

doodle bug

Worlds of Wonder made different outfits for Teddy & Grubby. These were sold separately and include:

Flying Outfit
Hiking Outfit (both Teddy and Grubby had their own version)
Nightshirt
Raincoat
Christmas Outfit
Sleeping Outfit (both Teddy and Grubby had their own version)
Summertime Outfit
Tuxedo
Winter Outfit
Workout Outfit

"Raincoat"

from now on, we will refer to Guy Fieri as "Doodle Bug"

It looks like it says "GUY FITE HERE." Like, either this is the prearranged spot where GUYS meet to FITE, or GUY is saying ME FITE HERE.

wait they had a bug called grubby

now im glad i set that fucker on fire

This looks good:

Tahini Surprise

Egg white
1 lime, squeezed
1/4 inch scallion, chopped
3/4 oz demerara
1/2 oz Tahini Paste
1 chunk Pineapple
1/2 oz Dolin Blanc
1/2 oz Velvet Falernum
2 oz Gran Sierpe Pisco

http://cocktailenthusiast.com/2010/07/09/gran-sierpe-piscos-iron-chef-cocktails/

Doodle Bug just made the whole room smell like chorizo : (

from now on we will refer to Guy Fieri as "Brocktoon"

from now on, we will refer to Guy Fieri as "Doodle Bug"

― I loves you, PORGI (DJP), Wednesday, November 14, 2012 12:40 PM (20 seconds ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

oh please don't, I use that as a term of endearment for my partner

http://i.imgur.com/p1BHA.jpg

so I think I mentioned this upthread but guy fieri apparently stopped by a mexican place I go to in queens for his show, and he left behind his image spray paint stenciled on the wall w/ his signature

the spray made of fried mushrooms and fecal matter

This looks good:

Tahini Surprise

Egg white
1 lime, squeezed
1/4 inch scallion, chopped
3/4 oz demerara
1/2 oz Tahini Paste
1 chunk Pineapple
1/2 oz Dolin Blanc
1/2 oz Velvet Falernum
2 oz Gran Sierpe Pisco

http://cocktailenthusiast.com/2010/07/09/gran-sierpe-piscos-iron-chef-cocktails/

― nuts spats (Austerity Ponies), Wednesday, November 14, 2012 12:41 PM (17 seconds ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

jesus christ

imagining jordan and strongo driving cross country to eat tex wasabi sushi listening to teddy ruxpin belt out faith over and over again

maybe these are only amusing me but fuckit, this one is gold

430 friends
455 reviews

Jenn N.
Love like there's no tomorrow.
Brentwood, CA

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3/7/2011 1 Check-in Here
I'm your huckleberry...

Tex Wasabi's is my restaurant huckleberry. We didn't have reservations but took a chance on a Saturday night and popped in. We were seated quickly - near the fireplace, no less! At first Kung Fu Panda was playing on the big screen but that soon faded to Tombstone. Both winners in my book.

We ordered a modestly priced (A 2009 Tamas Pinot Grigio) bottle of wine for the table. Low price or not, it was great. That tells me they are careful to put together a superb wine list.

In vino veritas.

I excitedly ordered the dirty magazine roll and had a back-up plan. Just in case they were going to break my heart and no longer serve that. Luckily they were and it was every bit as beautiful as I would have imagined.

We also ordered a brisket sandwich that was A-M-A-Z-I-N-G. The fries were fresh, tasty and crispy. I didn't try the ribs but all who ordered them were raving.

My only critique was of the soy sauce. It was definitly off/old, bleh. I could have asked for a new bottle but I was 2 or 3 glasses of vino in and well,..I didn't really care at that point.

A one man band set up half way through our meal. He had everyone singing along to "It Ain't Me Babe". My daughter lit up at that one, as she has been on a Johnny Cash kick lately.

Service was a bit slow toward the end of the meal but we were having such a great time, I barely noticed.

pretty sure this is what i was meant to do tbh

oh please don't, I use that as a term of endearment for my partner

― does smooshing cloacae together actually count as sodomy??? (silby), Wednesday, November 14, 2012 5:42 PM (53 seconds ago)

tell us what guy is really like

HANDS OFF, SILBY, HE'S MINE

i mean uh as you were

wait they have a "dirty magazine" roll

his cloaca is p foul xps

haha VG you are killing me with those Yelp reviews

the barely legal roll

http://zcater.com/images/gallery/kosher-40.jpg

wait they have a "dirty magazine" roll

― Me order! Me Fieri! Me run Flavortown! (jjjusten),

multiple layers of nori stuck together with donkey sauce

man guys part two of "i want your sex" is even wacker than i remembered

soft, moist rice wrapped up in penthouse papers

I excitedly ordered the dirty magazine roll and had a back-up plan.

We need a poll: Tex Wasabi review or 50 Shades of Grey excerpt?

dear penthouse, i know you won't believe this, but i smell like shaved ham to prove it...

step one: make a "bloody brain" cocktail
step two: pour it into a hard taco shell

if you think I smell bad wait til you smell teddy ruxpin

garnish with frost tipped pubic hair

oh god "one more try." sorry y'all between this and teddy ruxpin and the smell of guy's foreskin i'm catching feelings here.

depressing amount of googling/yelp searching yields that the 'dirty magazine roll' is a *secret* menu item - spicy tuna, hamachi, unagi sauce. so not yr gringo roll with hotdogs and wasabi.

the thing I like about this review is a) the pro's and b) the way he casually throws in mention of him finishing a half-marathon

Walter P.
FULLFILLMENT: The Journey is the Reward!!!"
Honolulu, HI

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5/5/2010 9 photos
What do you get when you put Texas style BBQ and Japanese sushi together???
Enter: Tex Wasabi
I know...it sounds odd. Another Guy Fieri signature restaurant I had to hit up during my Sacramento visit.
Rather than going into major write up, here are my pros and cons:
Pros:
-The smoked BBQ ribs (full rack $26.00) is the dish to get with a cold beer. It's already award winning according to the restaurant manager so take our word for it. Meat fell off the bone and the intense dry marinate rocks the palette. Cayenne pepper was the key ingredient.
-This converted restaurant is big. Large enough for groups of 20 or more.
-Bar scene is very accommodating with top shelf liquor and beer taps are plentiful to satisfy your thirst.
-Our server was cool. Very hospitable, attentive, and apologetic. He really knew the menu well.
-There's actual BEER PONG here on certain nights according to their event calendar. This would be worth the return visit.
-You can wear shorts and flip flops here. It's a rock and roll type of place with a splash of Japanese wall coverings.
Cons:
-Guy Fieri is not cooking in the kitchen. I know. It would been nice. He's major celebrity now...so it's more than likely you will never see him here.
-I just finished my half marathon down the street (American River), so they could have at least given me more BBQ sauce with my full rack.
-The veggies that came with my BBQ ribs looked like hell's kitchen served it...but I'll give them credit for the baked beans to make up for it.
-My buddy's Gringo Sushi was a laugh. Hahahhaha! The sushi looked so sad. He only had two pieces before failing it and ordering the calamari instead.
-The back patio needs more Zen or creativity. It reminded me of my old employee cafeteria patio at Great America (no character).
-The hostess at the front door needs to smile. You can tell she hates her job. Smile...it adds face value to the restaurant.

the dirty magazine roll is spicy tuna. of course it is.

i feel kinda spent after all this

"Our server was cool. Very hospitable, attentive and APOLOGETIC".

<3

-Guy Fieri is not cooking in the kitchen. I know. It would been nice. He's major celebrity now...so it's more than likely you will never see him here.

lol this person thought guy might be doing line work at the fuckin sacremento location?

guy fieri is up at 3 a.m. every day shredding pepper jack himself

he's still getting over never seeing Ronald McDonald serving burgers at McDonalds

i like how this dude decided "hey i just finished a half marathon, time to undo months of hard work and training"

wait

you mean the Burger King is not really a king?

;_;

"more like ray crock-of-shit"

BEER PONG YO

guy fieri is up at 3 a.m. every day shredding pepper jack himself

― idiot man-child (strongo hulkington's ghost dad), Wednesday, November 14, 2012 5:55 PM (36 seconds ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

"shredding pepper jack" being a euphemism of course