worst sounding sushi roll at guy fieri's southern bbq & california style sushi restaurant tex wasabi's

haha VG you are killing me with those Yelp reviews

the barely legal roll

http://zcater.com/images/gallery/kosher-40.jpg

wait they have a "dirty magazine" roll

― Me order! Me Fieri! Me run Flavortown! (jjjusten),

multiple layers of nori stuck together with donkey sauce

man guys part two of "i want your sex" is even wacker than i remembered

soft, moist rice wrapped up in penthouse papers

I excitedly ordered the dirty magazine roll and had a back-up plan.

We need a poll: Tex Wasabi review or 50 Shades of Grey excerpt?

dear penthouse, i know you won't believe this, but i smell like shaved ham to prove it...

step one: make a "bloody brain" cocktail
step two: pour it into a hard taco shell

if you think I smell bad wait til you smell teddy ruxpin

garnish with frost tipped pubic hair

oh god "one more try." sorry y'all between this and teddy ruxpin and the smell of guy's foreskin i'm catching feelings here.

depressing amount of googling/yelp searching yields that the 'dirty magazine roll' is a *secret* menu item - spicy tuna, hamachi, unagi sauce. so not yr gringo roll with hotdogs and wasabi.

the thing I like about this review is a) the pro's and b) the way he casually throws in mention of him finishing a half-marathon

Walter P.
FULLFILLMENT: The Journey is the Reward!!!"
Honolulu, HI

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5/5/2010 9 photos
What do you get when you put Texas style BBQ and Japanese sushi together???
Enter: Tex Wasabi
I know...it sounds odd. Another Guy Fieri signature restaurant I had to hit up during my Sacramento visit.
Rather than going into major write up, here are my pros and cons:
Pros:
-The smoked BBQ ribs (full rack $26.00) is the dish to get with a cold beer. It's already award winning according to the restaurant manager so take our word for it. Meat fell off the bone and the intense dry marinate rocks the palette. Cayenne pepper was the key ingredient.
-This converted restaurant is big. Large enough for groups of 20 or more.
-Bar scene is very accommodating with top shelf liquor and beer taps are plentiful to satisfy your thirst.
-Our server was cool. Very hospitable, attentive, and apologetic. He really knew the menu well.
-There's actual BEER PONG here on certain nights according to their event calendar. This would be worth the return visit.
-You can wear shorts and flip flops here. It's a rock and roll type of place with a splash of Japanese wall coverings.
Cons:
-Guy Fieri is not cooking in the kitchen. I know. It would been nice. He's major celebrity now...so it's more than likely you will never see him here.
-I just finished my half marathon down the street (American River), so they could have at least given me more BBQ sauce with my full rack.
-The veggies that came with my BBQ ribs looked like hell's kitchen served it...but I'll give them credit for the baked beans to make up for it.
-My buddy's Gringo Sushi was a laugh. Hahahhaha! The sushi looked so sad. He only had two pieces before failing it and ordering the calamari instead.
-The back patio needs more Zen or creativity. It reminded me of my old employee cafeteria patio at Great America (no character).
-The hostess at the front door needs to smile. You can tell she hates her job. Smile...it adds face value to the restaurant.

the dirty magazine roll is spicy tuna. of course it is.

i feel kinda spent after all this

"Our server was cool. Very hospitable, attentive and APOLOGETIC".

<3

-Guy Fieri is not cooking in the kitchen. I know. It would been nice. He's major celebrity now...so it's more than likely you will never see him here.

lol this person thought guy might be doing line work at the fuckin sacremento location?

guy fieri is up at 3 a.m. every day shredding pepper jack himself

he's still getting over never seeing Ronald McDonald serving burgers at McDonalds

i like how this dude decided "hey i just finished a half marathon, time to undo months of hard work and training"

wait

you mean the Burger King is not really a king?

;_;

"more like ray crock-of-shit"

BEER PONG YO

guy fieri is up at 3 a.m. every day shredding pepper jack himself

― idiot man-child (strongo hulkington's ghost dad), Wednesday, November 14, 2012 5:55 PM (36 seconds ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

"shredding pepper jack" being a euphemism of course

hahahaha strongo

It's a rock and roll type of place with a splash of Japanese wall coverings.
It's a rock and roll type of place with a splash of Japanese wall coverings.
It's a rock and roll type of place with a splash of Japanese wall coverings.
It's a rock and roll type of place with a splash of Japanese wall coverings.
It's a rock and roll type of place with a splash of Japanese wall coverings.
It's a rock and roll type of place with a splash of Japanese wall coverings.
It's a rock and roll type of place with a splash of Japanese wall coverings.
It's a rock and roll type of place with a splash of Japanese wall coverings.
It's a rock and roll type of place with a splash of Japanese wall coverings.

guy fieri is up at 3 a.m. every day frosting his pubes

DYING

anybody have fieris email address because i want to ask him if the carpet matches the drapes

"special" pepper jack sauce

guy fieri is up at 3am every day applying cream cheese and wasabi to his balls

he's still getting over never seeing Ronald McDonald serving burgers at McDonalds

― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Wednesday, November 14, 2012 12:55 PM (1 minute ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Like Ronald, there should be regional Guy Fieris that show up whenever there's a birthday party at any of the restaurants.

lol

Fieri has appeared in promotions for Flowmaster, a California-based auto exhaust parts manufacturer. In 2008 and 2009, he was the spokesperson for T.G.I. Friday's.[11] In 2010, he appeared in a commercial for Aflac named "Spicy."[12]

i can't believe guy fieri would whore himself out like that

http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_BAZWqwf35Qc/S405-upuWVI/AAAAAAAACOU/P_qQy5o6Giw/S1600-R/HeaderNew1.jpg

Huh, from the nose up he looks like Corey Feldman.

Born Guy Ramsay Feldman

So Guy jetted off to the Big Apple. Over the course of three frenetic weeks in front of cameras, he rose to the top of the high-stress battle of wit and kitchen smarts like the fat in a cooled pork stew.

the fat also rises

i feel kinda spent after all this

― idiot man-child (strongo hulkington's ghost dad), Wednesday, November 14, 2012 12:54 PM (21 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

what do you think guy fieri's post-coital cigarette of choice is

and would he let you have a drag

A fried Marlboro

Kool Milds drenched in donkey sauce

unfiltered lucky strikes with shredded pork where the tobacco should be

wasabi clove with rasperry reduction

guy fieri's aesthetic is many things but the word "reduction" has never been a part of it

one of those camel crush things but when you squeeze the filter it shoots warm bacon fat into your mouth

just a ball of bacon grease in the filter