worst sounding sushi roll at guy fieri's southern bbq & california style sushi restaurant tex wasabi's

http://blogs.villagevoice.com/forkintheroad/todd-english.jpg

"you're gonna love it" *splurt*

you know whose restaurants are pretty good, is Todd English

I dunno man I went to the short-lived English Is Italian on a friend's gift certificate and it was terrrrrible

they had been given a giftcard to Tuscan Steak but then that place folded and English's place moved in, but they were still honoring the cards (same owners or something I guess)

Food Network went more toward the Fieri path of people who have no formal food preparation skills but are more interested in the popular appeal/business owner end of things a long time ago. Well, maybe from the start.

http://pornfortheblind.org/audio/bigsausagepizza.mp3

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xh_IlJj0hqY

xpost man I hate when people call a forward slash a "backslash"

i feel like once guy drops out of the spotlight and lives a secluded life of horror for a couple decades we might get some kinda food network sunset blvd out of it.

swimming pool filled with donkey sauce

**dude gets shot, lands in pool filled with donkey sauce**

alton brown in long-suffering manservant role

monkey that's wearing a teddy ruxpin outfit

IT'S THE PORTIONS THAT GOT SMALL

The one thing missing from his cocktail menu is BOOTY JUICE

is jamie oliver still on food network

he's the one that i had some sort of strange fascination with back when i watched food network a lot

booty juice and ass sauce

if Alton Brown quoted Milton or Spenser from inside an oven he would be my faculty chair.

I used to watch Jamie Oliver and Molto Mario obsessively

frosted bootyflakes

― jess (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, June 18, 2003 11:58 AM (9 years ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

(of corn)

― jess (dubplatestyle), Wednesday, June 18, 2003

The one thing missing from his cocktail menu is BOOTY JUICE

Found appropriate Fear of a Black Hat gif. Decided against posting it.

also I went through an Alton Brown addiction for a while but now I find him kind of snotty and condescending.

TARFUMES YOU HAVE TO POST THE BLACK HAT GIF

I'm begging you

http://i.imgur.com/bbiqW.gif

I had to leave for work just as that segment started this morning. I was pissed.

My mom called me and relayed the entire interview to me. She likes to call me at work and tell me what is going on on the Today Show. The day One Direction was on was apparently terrifying.

Todd English looks like he could be a Romney. I always think he must have some corpses buried on his property somewhere.

also I ate lunch at Bobby Flay's MESA restaurant in Vegas years ago. It was really, really good. I am not a huge Bobby Flay fan, honestly I went there expecting a horrible chipotle blue corn fever dream but it was not that at all, not a single blue corn or chipotle anything anywhere! But I only gave it 2 stars because Bobby Flay did not a) wait my table or b) personally cook my food. (lol)

thank u Tarfumes

alton brown was good when he was playing the bill nye role on good eats, don't really care about him outside of that

i once ate at a restaurant. it was okay.

x-posts - I hate watch Today over fb with my bff. Which I probably shouldn't admit but hey. The day OD was on was, in fact, terrifying and he totally looks like a Romney. I was actually just thinking that a couple weeks ago when I watched an interview with his creepy-ass sons. On The Today Show.

if anything Bobby Flay looks belligerent and smug.

YOU DON'T LIKE DOUBLE BUFFALO BURGERS AND SLAW? FUCK YOU.

VEGAN? FUCK YOU PAY ME

thank u Tarfumes

You're welcome. I was hoping for the one with the spigot, but didn't want to go too far down that particular GIS alleyway.

yeah I loved AB's sciencey stuff, I always enjoyed his breakdowns of why this hardware vs that hardware, that was always cool.

when he smoked the salmon in the hotel room, that was pretty macguyver. and the 'jet engine' ahi tuna on top of the charcoal chimney was badass.

Alton Brown was a tv production dude who thought he could make a successful how-to show about food. It's basically "alton shows you some facts plus here's how I read you should do this"

Isn't Frontera Grill awful as well? Aren't all of these food network restaurants necessarily awful?

― Mozzarella i Fieri (Sufjan Grafton), Thursday, November 15, 2012 5:40 PM (56 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Holy shit, no. Frontera Grill isn't a Food Network restaurant. Rick Bayless opened Frontera Grill in the 80s. Wikipedia says he's been on Iron Chef and a guest judge on some stuff and then he was on celebrity Top Chef a few years ago. He's got a long-running PBS cooking show, too. Also Frontera is crazy super good (questions of authenticity aside).

i just realized that emeril is probably to blame for guy in a way

After finding out AB is a Christian fundamentalist I've been put off by him. He comes across as so smug and douchey outside of Good Eats as well.

It's worth watching Bayless's cooking show, if only for the weird interactions with his daughter in the earlier episodes.

I'm depressed by the speed at which Brown's lost hair.

in the way that the manhattan project would be to blame for full-scale nuclear annihilation

Remember when Emeril had a sitcom?

yeah what was his name on the sitcom again? gordon something.

she's not his daughter i don't think? a niece or something?

gordon shumway, i knew i'd get it.

I watched bayless's show for a couple episodes before realizing:
1. Hey, that's his daughter
2. Holy shit, I better stop perving because I think she's 15 in this episode

no nevermind she is his daughter. she is weird.

gordon shumway, i knew i'd get it.

― THAT IS ONE BIG PIZZA (strongo hulkington's ghost dad), Thursday, November 15, 2012 6:44 PM (16 seconds ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

you bastard

sorry everyone i forgot to tell you mr. que is actually alf

didn't mean to blow yr cover there