is her son the keymaster?
― pun lovin criminal (polyphonic), Monday, 3 December 2012 21:55 (eleven years ago) link
I like how 15 basically goes the exact opposite direction that you think it will
"Peer pressure is scary, so make sure you get out in front of that shit and inflict it on others before they can establish themselves"
― I loves you, PORGI (DJP), Monday, 3 December 2012 21:56 (eleven years ago) link
You will set the tonefor the sexual relationship,so don't take something away from herthat you can't give back.
this doesn't even make sense, what if he takes her virginity
― CGI fridays (Edward III), Monday, 3 December 2012 21:57 (eleven years ago) link
revirginize her son
write-in vote for 'i'd rather be rich than stupid'
― spottieottiespanakopita (schlump), Monday, 3 December 2012 21:58 (eleven years ago) link
so glad i never got taught the strategic value of feigning kindness as a way to fend off dying alone
― spottieottiespanakopita (schlump), Monday, 3 December 2012 22:00 (eleven years ago) link
pee caution hands down
― dansplaining (dan m), Monday, 3 December 2012 22:01 (eleven years ago) link
look ma no hands
― spottieottiespanakopita (schlump), Monday, 3 December 2012 22:02 (eleven years ago) link
'befriend a black person so no one can accuse you of racism'
― mookieproof, Monday, 3 December 2012 22:02 (eleven years ago) link
Your Favorite Ian-Riese Moraine! Screennames
― buzza, Monday, 3 December 2012 22:08 (eleven years ago) link
7. Don't ever be a bully and don't ever start a fight. But poison the bigger children in advance, to diminish their advantage before it becomes an issue.
― spottieottiespanakopita (schlump), Monday, 3 December 2012 22:10 (eleven years ago) link
assassin's creed guide to child rearing
― CGI fridays (Edward III), Monday, 3 December 2012 22:13 (eleven years ago) link
I think I like 19 best because it's so candidly selfish and presumptuous. Pick the gatekeeper to MY GRANDBABIES carefully!!!!
― *rad hug eomticon* (Control Z), Monday, 3 December 2012 22:14 (eleven years ago) link
TWENTY THINGS SUN TZU SHOULD TELL HIS SON
― spottieottiespanakopita (schlump), Monday, 3 December 2012 22:16 (eleven years ago) link
if your sibling is of short temperament, do not seek to provoke him while my stories are on
― CGI fridays (Edward III), Monday, 3 December 2012 22:18 (eleven years ago) link
what percentage of these bubble with the subtext Promise me you'll grow up straight
― spottieottiespanakopita (schlump), Monday, 3 December 2012 22:18 (eleven years ago) link
14. The reason that they're called "private parts" is because they're "private". I don't want you playing with Bobby from next door anymore.
― spottieottiespanakopita (schlump), Monday, 3 December 2012 22:21 (eleven years ago) link
3. Use careful aim in the sexual relationship.Somebody's got to clean that up, you know.
― I'm okay, Eurogay (Paul in Santa Cruz), Monday, 3 December 2012 22:43 (eleven years ago) link
where are these from btw
― Force Boxman (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 3 December 2012 22:47 (eleven years ago) link
not sure of the "origin story" but this shit is all over facebook
― LIKE If you are against racism (omar little), Monday, 3 December 2012 23:00 (eleven years ago) link
it's either pee caution or scratching
― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Monday, 3 December 2012 23:21 (eleven years ago) link
i think it's pee caution
the point is that you should never have sex with virgins
― i know your nuts hurt! who's laughing? (contenderizer), Monday, 3 December 2012 23:29 (eleven years ago) link
grandbabies gatekeeper, ie do not let your son marry gandalf
― passion it person (La Lechera), Monday, 3 December 2012 23:33 (eleven years ago) link
would mom teach #2 via a demonstration?
― 乒乓, Monday, 3 December 2012 23:34 (eleven years ago) link
i just whispered all 20 of these in some baby's ear and nothing has changed! now what?!
― Z S, Monday, 3 December 2012 23:36 (eleven years ago) link
remember a women can do everything you can, except set the tone for a sexual relationship, get her own flowers or make a phonecall to her son
― bill paxman (darraghmac), Monday, 3 December 2012 23:37 (eleven years ago) link
pour yourself a drink
― 乒乓, Monday, 3 December 2012 23:37 (eleven years ago) link
http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/masonry/000/004/773/wt.jpg
― LIKE If you are against racism (omar little), Monday, 3 December 2012 23:38 (eleven years ago) link
you set the sexx bone
― Pillbox, Monday, 3 December 2012 23:46 (eleven years ago) link
ah shit i don't want to think about the events that lead to the sex bone needing to be set
― bill paxman (darraghmac), Monday, 3 December 2012 23:48 (eleven years ago) link
Press the reset button.
It's inside, near the front
― Mark G, Tuesday, 4 December 2012 00:04 (eleven years ago) link
Somebody's got to clean that up, you know.
― how's life, Tuesday, 4 December 2012 00:12 (eleven years ago) link
16 otm
― brimstead, Tuesday, 4 December 2012 00:55 (eleven years ago) link
#4 p/a hint re: luxury condo she envisages him buying for her retirement
― nitin sawhiney (qiqing), Tuesday, 4 December 2012 01:00 (eleven years ago) link
14 definitely
― crüt, Tuesday, 4 December 2012 07:14 (eleven years ago) link
Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.
― System, Tuesday, 18 December 2012 00:01 (eleven years ago) link
Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.
― System, Wednesday, 19 December 2012 00:01 (eleven years ago) link
I admire how 'be kind to others' and 'don't scratch your crotch' are put on a purely equal footing.
― Aimless, Wednesday, 19 December 2012 00:56 (eleven years ago) link
As well they should be.
― this will surprise many (Nicole), Wednesday, 19 December 2012 01:24 (eleven years ago) link
22. No woman actually believes going wrong hole is an accident.
― Kiarostami bag (milo z), Wednesday, 19 December 2012 04:33 (eleven years ago) link
77 should brainstorm a FATHER-DAUGHTER version and see how viral it can go