look ma no hands
― spottieottiespanakopita (schlump), Monday, 3 December 2012 22:02 (eleven years ago) link
'befriend a black person so no one can accuse you of racism'
― mookieproof, Monday, 3 December 2012 22:02 (eleven years ago) link
Your Favorite Ian-Riese Moraine! Screennames
― buzza, Monday, 3 December 2012 22:08 (eleven years ago) link
7. Don't ever be a bully and don't ever start a fight. But poison the bigger children in advance, to diminish their advantage before it becomes an issue.
― spottieottiespanakopita (schlump), Monday, 3 December 2012 22:10 (eleven years ago) link
assassin's creed guide to child rearing
― CGI fridays (Edward III), Monday, 3 December 2012 22:13 (eleven years ago) link
I think I like 19 best because it's so candidly selfish and presumptuous. Pick the gatekeeper to MY GRANDBABIES carefully!!!!
― *rad hug eomticon* (Control Z), Monday, 3 December 2012 22:14 (eleven years ago) link
TWENTY THINGS SUN TZU SHOULD TELL HIS SON
― spottieottiespanakopita (schlump), Monday, 3 December 2012 22:16 (eleven years ago) link
if your sibling is of short temperament, do not seek to provoke him while my stories are on
― CGI fridays (Edward III), Monday, 3 December 2012 22:18 (eleven years ago) link
what percentage of these bubble with the subtext Promise me you'll grow up straight
― spottieottiespanakopita (schlump), Monday, 3 December 2012 22:18 (eleven years ago) link
14. The reason that they're called "private parts" is because they're "private". I don't want you playing with Bobby from next door anymore.
― spottieottiespanakopita (schlump), Monday, 3 December 2012 22:21 (eleven years ago) link
3. Use careful aim in the sexual relationship.Somebody's got to clean that up, you know.
― I'm okay, Eurogay (Paul in Santa Cruz), Monday, 3 December 2012 22:43 (eleven years ago) link
where are these from btw
― Force Boxman (Shakey Mo Collier), Monday, 3 December 2012 22:47 (eleven years ago) link
not sure of the "origin story" but this shit is all over facebook
― LIKE If you are against racism (omar little), Monday, 3 December 2012 23:00 (eleven years ago) link
it's either pee caution or scratching
― set the controls for the heart of the sun (VegemiteGrrl), Monday, 3 December 2012 23:21 (eleven years ago) link
i think it's pee caution
this doesn't even make sense, what if he takes her virginity
the point is that you should never have sex with virgins
― i know your nuts hurt! who's laughing? (contenderizer), Monday, 3 December 2012 23:29 (eleven years ago) link
grandbabies gatekeeper, ie do not let your son marry gandalf
― passion it person (La Lechera), Monday, 3 December 2012 23:33 (eleven years ago) link
would mom teach #2 via a demonstration?
― 乒乓, Monday, 3 December 2012 23:34 (eleven years ago) link
i just whispered all 20 of these in some baby's ear and nothing has changed! now what?!
― Z S, Monday, 3 December 2012 23:36 (eleven years ago) link
remember a women can do everything you can, except set the tone for a sexual relationship, get her own flowers or make a phonecall to her son
― bill paxman (darraghmac), Monday, 3 December 2012 23:37 (eleven years ago) link
pour yourself a drink
― 乒乓, Monday, 3 December 2012 23:37 (eleven years ago) link
http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/masonry/000/004/773/wt.jpg
― LIKE If you are against racism (omar little), Monday, 3 December 2012 23:38 (eleven years ago) link
you set the sexx bone
― Pillbox, Monday, 3 December 2012 23:46 (eleven years ago) link
ah shit i don't want to think about the events that lead to the sex bone needing to be set
― bill paxman (darraghmac), Monday, 3 December 2012 23:48 (eleven years ago) link
Press the reset button.
It's inside, near the front
― Mark G, Tuesday, 4 December 2012 00:04 (eleven years ago) link
Somebody's got to clean that up, you know.
― how's life, Tuesday, 4 December 2012 00:12 (eleven years ago) link
16 otm
― brimstead, Tuesday, 4 December 2012 00:55 (eleven years ago) link
#4 p/a hint re: luxury condo she envisages him buying for her retirement
― nitin sawhiney (qiqing), Tuesday, 4 December 2012 01:00 (eleven years ago) link
14 definitely
― crüt, Tuesday, 4 December 2012 07:14 (eleven years ago) link
Automatic thread bump. This poll is closing tomorrow.
― System, Tuesday, 18 December 2012 00:01 (eleven years ago) link
Automatic thread bump. This poll's results are now in.
― System, Wednesday, 19 December 2012 00:01 (eleven years ago) link
I admire how 'be kind to others' and 'don't scratch your crotch' are put on a purely equal footing.
― Aimless, Wednesday, 19 December 2012 00:56 (eleven years ago) link
As well they should be.
― this will surprise many (Nicole), Wednesday, 19 December 2012 01:24 (eleven years ago) link
22. No woman actually believes going wrong hole is an accident.
― Kiarostami bag (milo z), Wednesday, 19 December 2012 04:33 (eleven years ago) link
77 should brainstorm a FATHER-DAUGHTER version and see how viral it can go