❀ the cult of: ➥motivational speakers ➥life coaches ➥personal growth gurus ➥new-age charlatans ➥AWESOMENESS FEST

I DOUBLED MY INCOME, TRIPLED MY MAILING LIST + QUIT MY JOB IN 6 WEEKS!

can we just say that these claims are pretty unimpressive if you assume a low starting income, as one should for a sacred crystal biz

it's hard to find good value in spiritual ventures

not to mention low starting mailing list

quit hippiesplaining

xp

I wanted to leave my teaching position and step out of the matrix...

people using the matrix as a frame of reference is a huge huge pet peeve of mine. that and fight club.

haha "i wanted to step out of the matrix... and into a pyramid-scheme affiliate marketing program!"

I'm with the Joe Pantoliano character in this scenario.

http://i8.photobucket.com/albums/a6/Sprad/Mindvalley_Earth_zps8ff0e84f.pnghttp://www.readthespirit.com/storage/0119%20Capitalist%20Pyramid%20from%201911%20poster.jpg

next two things that are squares

I knew that my sacred crystal biz wanted to grow. I wanted to leave my teaching position and step out of the matrix & into the world of contributing, creating & running my sacred crystal biz FULL TIME. I knew I needed a biz coach but I didn’t resonate with most of run of the mill boring ole’ entrepreneur coaches out there. I knew it had to be someone who was spiritual & “GOT” me, my sacred crystal biz & what I’m trying to bring to the world. And then *poof*, there you were!! Of course. I knew then, I didn’t need a biz coach, I needed a LEONIE!

i mean, it really bears repeating

I’d do stuff like Hug 200 People In A Day, and give massages and angel readings to people who needed them.

slightly off-topic but

http://www.youtube.com/user/MarkusRothkranz

dude

the "full force" video

i'm saying!

idk if i want him to be a ben stiller character or a tom cruise character

I am having the same struggle, goole

Which has brought me to substituting tom cruise for every ben stiller role and sketch, and it kind of works.

my world is realigning

someone i know, a guy who was always a genius or thereabouts and also crazy or thereabouts, finished his phd last summer (writing the entire thing in something like six weeks) and then as far as i can tell p much disappeared. he's now reappeared as some kind of cosmic guru. he has multiple followers and everything. not entirely sure what to make of this.

no website no credibility.

yes i would like to know more

oh right i'll never convert you this way

youtube.com/watch?v=gpx_ht7Moqo

but shhh. i'm not sure that it's much more than standard new age stuff with a bit of cybernetics and information theory thrown in, he should be able to do better imo. though the rest of the people in the druggy pseudo-initiation ceremony i found myself part of seemed pretty into it.

he seems to get rolling at around the 11 minute mark.

did he always have the beard or did he grow that for the guru act?

what was his phd in?

philosophy. p hardcore german idealist stuff.

he actually doesn't have the beard any more, but his hair is longer and loosely ponytailed for that classic guru look. back when i first knew him both head and face were clean shaven.

dude just needs to learn about SEO and he's set

terrifying Alex & Ani University billboard now looking out on the 80, peering over all incoming traffic to San Francisco

creeeeeeeping into the mainstream

squished video aspect ratio makes the hand motions seem more significant

haha my dad is consulting for alex & ani now, i told him WATCH OUT

since we talked about lululemon here:

http://www.reuters.com/article/2013/03/19/us-lululemon-taiwan-idUSBRE92I0MA20130319

hilarious PA here or just business-journo ignorance?

Late on Monday, Lululemon said it was pulling from its store shelves about 17 percent of the women's black pants made with its signature stretchy "Luon" fabric because the products fell short of technical specifications.

It warned that the recall of the see-through pants would have a significant impact on financial results.

The episode, the second quality issue disclosed in less than a year, could undermine Lululemon's reputation, said analysts who noted that competition from lower-priced brands is heating up.

i mean, a psycho murder between employees and secret creepo messages on your bags aren't enough to do damage if you're showing growth i guess

I think there is something a little admirable about people that think they are so enlightened that they want to go out and teach the world. At least they are actually getting out of the house, meeting new people, trying to start a business, etc. Most guru-types I've known simply wallow in drug addiction, sleep until 5pm, and end up late-night preaching the same vague regurgitated self-aggrandizing shroom trip realizations over and over to the same group of people. At least self help teachers and even straight up con men are actually making an effort to crawl out of their own egos.

Tho i guess listening to 4 straight hours of your friends scraping cymbals together is probably still a better thing to do than getting involved in a pyramid scheme.

they're... multiplying....

http://www.awesomenessfest.com/blog/join-the-movement/

"Afest" is a branding mistake. Reminds me of a similarly abbreviated term sharing many of the same qualities.

should have went with "A-Ness Fest"

^tight

markus rothkranz has a game-changing insight into water for you here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LCNDoBK35aM

use a jar from trader joes.

WATER - where to get it

lol at the examples of the pipes through which our dead-animal-smelling city water apparently arrives

http://www.judgeeve.com/

Judge Eve Ellingwood Cohen is a retired Administrative Law Judge who now serves as a prayer warrior, prophet, public speaker, radio host, author, coach, business consultant, and elder abuse advocate.

Prayer Warrior: Judge Eve wants to help you to be healed, spiritually, emotionally and physically. Feel free to submit your prayer requests and report updates.

Prophet: Discover why Judge Eve calls herself a prophet and how she was ordained.

Public Speaker: Judge Eve is qualified to speak about spiritual, motivational, cross cultural and legal issues.

i keep getting linkedin requests from JUDGE EVE (due to shared last name i suspect she incorrectly believes i'm her nephew or something)

http://thehill.com/blogs/healthwatch/politics-elections/123245-debate-over-obamas-birthplace-excluded-from-health-reform-lawsuit

Judge Henry Hudson on Wednesday denied petitioner Eve Ellingwood's motion to intervene in Attorney General Ken Cuccinelli's lawsuit against the health reform law. Ellingwood's motion argues that the "illegally obtained alleged" healthcare law is "illegal and void" because Obama wasn't born in the United States.

Her main exhibit: A tabloid Globe story from August 2010 revealing "shocking proof" that Obama was born in Kenya.

In her rambling motion, Ellingwood explains that she "loves all people - Black, jewish, asian, white, native and any and all others" and that "this litigation is being prosecuted to correct extreme wrongs caused by bad people from any of those people."

She goes on to argue Obama has been giving "his staff's cronies in Wall Street" billions of dollars "by lying and calling it stimulus money" and that her "life has been threatened not to tell this story."

said linkedin profile also lists her as the owner of the awesomely-titled 90210HOLOCAUST DOT COM

http://www.90210holocaust.com/services.html

Eve was annointed as a prophet by Prophet and healer of the First Baptist Church of Bakersfield, in the mid 1980's. Over the years and in hundreds of situations- she counseled people both publicly and privately as a seer and a healer. People would find her a month or a year later to tell her, how what she has seen and told them about had taken place. Numerous people have been healed- many times, instantaneously, and about 100 people who were given a description of their future spouse, despite vehement denials, at times, would later call Eve and tell her about what had happened. Eve was used in that capacity in meetings all over the United States and in Canada; in meetings of the Women's Aglow; Full Gosel Businessmen Fellowship International= including audiences numbering in the thousands.An example of a supernatural healing was of a girl in another city who had taken 176 sleeping pills, in an attempt to take her life. Eve prayed that the pills be neutralized and that the girl would not be able to close her eyes no matter how many pills she had taken. The girl later reported that she could not close her eyes, and the doctors in emergency, were amazed that no harm had been caused her, despite all the pills she had ingested. Another example was when Eve saw a particular person as being out of sorts- she merely straightened out the person's alignment- and the person had the chairman of the large businessmen gathering, that her condition was desribed precisely; and that she was immediately healed. Eve's two oldest children, as Eve knew, were the big winners on the Wheel of Fortune Show, for teenagers, while each one was 14 years old. With her son, Eve knew the exact amount of the wiinings- $25,000.

*blinks*

http://www.90210holocaust.com/images/logo1.gif

WHO AM I?
TODAY- AS THE WORLD SEES ME

I am an Administrative Law Judge with the California Unemployment Insurance Appeals Board. It is a judicial position in the Executive branch of government, as opposed to the regular court system, and we hear cases relating to all aspects of eligibility for unemployment insurance benefits, tax matters as they affect employers, disability insurance matter, federal retraining benefit matters, and many other relating to the unemployment segment of our population.

...

I have a wonderful housekeeper, who is a great help to me around the house, and I am therefore able to care for the home responsibilities more easily, which also includes food shopping and all other errands involved in running a household. It is my schedule which has permitted me to have time to write the book which you are about to start reading.