worst sounding sushi roll at guy fieri's southern bbq & california style sushi restaurant tex wasabi's

I have 2 days to convince my sister in law that my brother would love a piece from the Guy Fieri Signature Collection for Valentine's Day

I don't hate the cufflinks.

now I know what AP is getting as a wedding gift

"i don't know, throw a shit-ton of stars on it?"

it's flavortown for your eyes

http://www.shopguyfieri.com/browse.cfm/4-pack-of-squeeze-bottles/4,3220.html

guy fieri signature squeeze bottles actually makes sense. squeeze some velveeta onto that bitch. kewl!

those squeeze bottles appear to be filled with hangover piss

Kulinary Gangsta
Out of Bounds
Books N Stuff
Great Gift Ideas
Kulinary Bundles
Kulinary Kids
Kulinary Kweens
Johnny Garlics

!!!

"Put the weight gain blame on your baby as you shovel spoonfuls of apple donkey sauce into his mouth"

http://www.shopguyfieri.com/prodimg/onesie-250.jpg

That's not a onesie I'd want to see when I was breastfeeding.

OMG dude offers GOLF BALLS

c'mon you can't eat a golf ball

http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_2b_SPCr78uQ/S5tVOkEG-WI/AAAAAAAAPHc/oKydHzOw2XE/s200/guy+fieri.jpg

YOU WANNA BET

gonna need something to wash those golf balls down

http://i.imgur.com/CivWZC2.gif

STOP POSTING THAT GIF

Oh shit, guys, when you said "golf ball" I remembered that a coworker at my old job gave me a home game version of Minute to Win It featuring Guy Fieri's face all over the box. It has ping pong balls in it, although I can't remember what you're supposed to do with them. Cover them in donkey sauce and carry them across the room between your butt cheeks, probably.

How much flavor do YOUR golf balls have?

Do you all want to come over and play the home version of Minute to Win It and eat some S'Mores Pizza and crispy cheeseburger ravioli? I live off the first exit to Flavortown.

How far from the Donkeysauce river?

I think the most sensible reaction to any Guy Fieri-branded paraphernalia is to cover it in donkey sauce and carry it across the room between your butt cheeks

here's hoping never sponsors a NASCAR driver

Aw, fuck it, why not?

I guess if you want to cover Jeff Gordon or Danica Patrick in donkey sauce and carry them across the room between your butt cheeks, that's your business

I'm going to have to do a lot of butt cheek clenching before I can pull that off, I fear.

Plus, I generally don't allow spicy, mayo-based sauces near my ass anymore

rimming

there's an apple butter joke lurking here somewhere

DO NOT POST THAT GIF AGAIN

aw

that gif may be the only thing that breaks my shameful Pellogrino habit.

Or at least stops you from lapping at it a la Fieri.

Apple Butter Flavor Lurker!

our work is never over?

apple butter jeans boots with the spicy, mayo-based sauce

he looks like a dog drinking from a garden hose.

except a dog drinking from a garden hose is cute, not appalling

now I know what AP is getting as a wedding gift

― Ima R.A.E.D. (DJP), Tuesday, February 12, 2013 1:55 PM (3 days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

something heavy with which to strike you?

yes, I am getting you Guy Fieri

I could have him point at things I think are awesome and have him make his awesome face. I could pour donkeysauce on my enemies and set his goatee'd mouth loose on them.

*cue gif*

STEP AWAY FROM THE GIF

http://wac.450f.edgecastcdn.net/80450F/thefw.com/files/2013/01/tumblr_mdhw7qGy7O1rp9osto1_400.gif

http://distilleryimage2.s3.amazonaws.com/c6d9f37c771111e2962a22000a1f930e_7.jpg

maura and i went to the times square one last night and it was as bad as advertised (though the margaritas were actually not terrible at all). these are the "guy-talian nachos," the memory of which is going to haunt me for awhile. i don't even want to discuss the tacos, which might have been okay if it weren't for all the barbecue sauce and sour cream

somehow the most disconcerting thing about it - even more so than the $95-for-two valentine's prix fixe they were offering - was that the bar tvs were all playing whatever was on the food network at the time

kinda expensive for an ironic meal no

i think they didn't order the prix fixe

they ordered the pee chips

I glanced at the menu when I walked by this place and even the not prix fixe is pretty expensive irony idk

I am guilty of getting BBQ on my free bird

http://nedroidcomics.tumblr.com/post/43078937407/hi-im-guy-fieri

Doctor said, “Great chef Guy Fieri is in town. Go see him. That will cheer you up.” “But doctor,” I said, “I am Guy Fieri.”

Guy, I'm Hi Fieri