OSCARS 2013

I'm promising myself not to spend a second trying to figure out this director/film split.

omg heisenberg everyone be afraid

just trying to imagine the greenwald column had ZDT won

ben fastest speech ever lol

http://www.theonion.com/articles/while-im-glad-i-won-i-personally-believe-abraham-l,31426/

whats matt gotta do to get thanked

wait nvm

Good speech too

okay you won stfu now jeeeezus

And here is the host to fart in your mouth

lol

The fuck again?

This is a great idea a thousand different ways.

hi i am not frank sinatra go fuck yourseeeeeelvvvvvvves

Except for the way with this guy

what is this kill me

I'm again summoning the spirits.

http://www.zuguide.com/image/Robert-Blake-Lost-Highway.jpg

pornhub has better fellatio why did i even bother

DELIVER US ROBERT BLAKE

I missed Brave winning :(

and the Invisible War didn't win :(

the rest I don't care. Lincoln don't need Best Picture oscars.

so, lowlights SM's "can't understand Spanish speakers" crack + Tarantella, highlight Dame Shirley, ja? g'night

night morbs :)

Dame Michelle? That pimp is a bore, but fits perfectly w/ the Rich Democrat Argofuckyerself State of La-La.

Jack seemed to be wearing an Oliver Hardy suit he bought at auction

lol!

Scarjo must not be there.

Cat on A Hot Tin Roof on Broadway

Ben Affleck's speech was bizarre. Really enjoyed the bit where he talked about what a chore it is to be married to Jennifer Garner.

Because decorum dictates:

armond white ‏@3xchair
So far the Oscars are going great. One down for Obama, er uh, Lincoln.

armond white ‏@3xchair
Yay No Oscar validation for selfserving Kushner Lincoln script!

armond white ‏@3xchair
Michelle #Oscar intrusion is consolation prize and all Spielberg Kushner deserve.

goes without saying perhaps, but f you forever armond white you worthless unfunny hack

armond goin off like a spurned lover, spiels must've not met his lingering gaze at a film fest.

Adele and Kristen:

http://instagram.com/p/WIoe70DgIB/

i had managed to block this out completely, and then the onion happened

Liked Patton Oswalt's tweet about the missed opportunity to play the Jaws music behind Ang Lee's acceptance speech.

Couldn't be bothered to stay up for this so missed all the fun. Not heavily invested in the results this year other than I really wanted Roger Deakins to finally win an award. I guess he must have pissed on someone's chips to miss out again.

buddy of mine from college wrote the Jimmy Kimmel "Movie about Movie" sketch -- there's a really funny scene with Wolf Blitzer at 3:30

http://beta.abc.go.com/shows/jimmy-kimmel-live/video/PL5520978/_m_VD55278604?cid=JKLtoJKL_Movie_Movie

JD & leong, do you also believe that the Haneke Twitter is the real one?

some quality bitchery here

http://slantmagazine.tumblr.com/

just came in here to lol. ARGO is literal trash. just lol

That was probably the worst Academy Awards ceremony I've ever watched, and I sat through the Rob Lowe/Snow White one.

c'mon, Franco-Hathaway was worse.

Ted's Jew jokes went over well where I was watching.

Why wife thought he was Snuggy the Fabric Softener Bear and had no idea what the fuck was going on.

Franco-Hathoway was worse, yes. The issue with Macfarlane is that he's just so punchable. He needs to be sweeter and less smug to pull off innocently offensive. "Don't give a fuck while clearly giving a fuck" nagl.

I've mentally switched Boal and QT's respective wins. It's the only thing that makes any sense.

Franco/Hathaway was terrible but didn't rely on a bunch of misogynist jokes.

But he delivered them with a wink! He didn't mean it! He's such a gentle soul! He was channeling Frank Sinatra! Frank would have loved it! Women, can't live with 'em ... can't live without them!

sigh

dude loves old time hollywood and show tunes culture and all that but there's literally nothing he could ever do in his life to make his face appear grateful

I guess it wouldn't have been a misogynistic Oscars for the record books if the best actress winner didn't trip on her own dress.

When was the last time the top 6 awards were divided among 6 different films? (Oscar trivia nerd)

Unpopular opinion: Seth MF would be kind of adorbs if he wasn't That Guy.