worst sounding sushi roll at guy fieri's southern bbq & california style sushi restaurant tex wasabi's

http://i.imgur.com/0JO4jPk.jpg

A new century's outsider art.

I would frame that and hang it in my home.

don't fuck with someone's coffee maaaaaaaaaan

https://scontent-b-sea.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn2/1426737_10151703042331596_894574085_n.jpg

LOL

looks like he's jerkin' off tbh

"That's right... eat the burger... ngggggghhhhhhhhh..."

Leash tied to sign post while his family goes inside to eat

Remember when his Lamborghini got stolen? The final upshot of all that

http://www.sfgate.com/news/article/Lamborghini-thief-Max-Wade-given-life-for-botched-5169797.php

Satan walks among us

http://insidescoopsf.sfgate.com/blog/2014/01/29/guy-fieri-finally-bestows-guy-fieri-coffee-upon-america/

Satan needs to get a less obvious pseudonym. FIERY GUY?!

lol

“All the flavor from my righteous Caramel Apple Bread Pudding stuffed into your mug.”

laws against that remain on the books in some states

http://i.imgur.com/87x9UPL.png

haha amazing

I will confess I went to the Guy's American Grill a couple months ago in times square and had a macaroni and cheese burger.. it was pretty good!

#challops

http://s3.amazonaws.com/images.hitfix.com/assets/2151/weenie.gif

http://snaxattacks.tumblr.com/image/77252575707

just in case u start to get excited about that super duper weenie, TV-G logo pops up
welp, another dick-free episode

http://www.lasvegassun.com/vegasdeluxe/2014/mar/12/photos-guy-fieri-chooses-name-his-first-las-vegas-/

The two-level, 10,000-square-foot space will feature a large outdoor patio and dining area to seat 185 fans who will get panoramic views of the Strip. Memorabilia from his days at UNLV will be used as decoration along with his tattoos as part of the design elements at the bar.

Taking a Mexican street taco and blending it with a Vietnamese sandwich creates Banh Mi Tacos in crispy baguette shells. The firecracker pulled pork, cilantro, pickled carrots, shaved jalapenos and sweet chili mayo mix with a spicy Sriracha dip to create a combination of sweet and spicy.

barf

http://photos.lasvegassun.com/media/img/photos/2013/12/20/4_t653.jpg%3F214bc4f9d9bd7c08c7d0f6599bb3328710e01e7b
looks delicious

x-p to Banh Mi Taco
No donkey sauce, no cred! (Though seriously, that doesn't sound bad.)

The Full Menu & Prices at Guy Fieri's Vegas Kitchen & Bar

Sashimi Won-Tacos $14
Everyone's fave 'cuz they're wicked tasty! Sashimi grade ahi & serious mango-jicama salsa are packed into wonton taco shells + drizzled with "wow-sabi" cream.

Morgan's Gnarly Greek Salad $13
Guy's take on the Greek salad will send you on a tour of the Mediterranean with its bold flavors, hearts of romaine, fresh veggies, hummus, feta, Parmesan croutons + tangy lemon vinaigrette. Toga not included.

The Off-Da-Hook Original Smash Burger $16
This burger is money! Crunchy righteous rojo rings, LTOP + the kicker- Guy's bourbon brown sugar BBQ sauce is sandwiched between a toasted brioche bun. It'll leave you in a food coma!

Ain't Nothing Butta Chicken Wing...

All our wings are trimmed into "lollipops" so they're super easy to eat, then we brine & roast each one before frying & tossing in one of our off-da-hook wing sauces.

You have to read the whole thing.

good lord

Crunchy righteous rojo rings!

It's like another language

drizzled with "wow-sabi" cream! ewww

keep peppering those phrases with exclamations, and those entrees with wasabi-mayo

meat blanket of seasoned pastrami

apocalyptic marinara

I would pay top dollar to eat at a Guy Fieri restaurant with a Sandra Lee drink menu.

This burger is a work of art like Guy's tattoos.

"Truffle, truffle + more truffle! Julienned cut fries tossed with black truffle & truffle infused gouda, served with a creamy white truffle dip. Proof that you can't have too much of a good thing."

Proof!

anyone who orders those truffle fries should be shot

I don't think you'd need to shoot them, just wait for the inevitable heart attack

like a diner at a guy fieri restaurant, i demand only the most instant of gratifications

Chicken Wonton Takeout Salad $14
This one-of-a-kind-salad has everything but the kitchen sink. Crisp Napa tips tossed with mixed greens, mandarins toasted cashews & the usual suspects, finished with ginger vinaigrette + skewered chicken wontons.

"the usual suspects" combined with Guy Fieri makes this the most sinister salad description I've ever read

Guy-talian Fondue Dippers $13
Pepperoni-wrapped breadstick twists served alongside our smoky provolone + sausage cheese dip, topped with fresh tomato bruschetta.

Never was there a more superfluous use of fresh tomatoes in the history of eating.

well no, that just warns you off the bruschetta in Guy's other restaurants

ok how many of these did you guys just make up

Pic-a-Nik Sandwich $16
Not your av-er-age turkey sandwich. Swiss cheese + citrus-cranberry relish, chillin' on an "awesome pretzel" hoagie smeared with Guy's famous donkey sauce.

http://www.chud.com/nextraimages/yogics_002.JPG

The Guy-talian Deli Salad $16
We have built this salad in a crown of prosciutto-wrapped smoked provolone! Filled with crisp romaine lettuce, imported Italian meats & cheeses, pickled Italian veggies + tossed in a red wine vinaigrette.

so are you supposed to wear this salad on your head, or

"How about a 'Welsh rarebit' but with provolone?"
"Hmmm maybe... but it needs something more."
"We can make it a smoked provolone, give it a little depth and nuance"
"Good, but it needs something more."
"Well, we could make it a sausage and provolone dip, I guess."
"Almost, but not quite there yet..."
"Jesus, Guy, what do you want? Pepperoni wrapped around the bread sticks?"
"YES! But it needs MORE!!!"
"Yeah, okay then why don't you just add TOMATO BRUSCHETTA while you're at it, you sick fucker."
"WELCOME TO FLAVORTOWN!"
"I quit."

not gonna lie, I would eat the shit out of the mac & cheese bacon burger

the menu reads like the kickspit underground rock festival infomercial

Struggling with the logistics of loading this salad into the crouton:

Brutha's Badass Caesar Salad $15
Chopped romaine lettuce, croutons, lots of Parmesan cheese + Guy's favorite Caesar dressing are loaded into a crisp, garlicy mega-crouton.

it's an entire loaf of bread