worst sounding sushi roll at guy fieri's southern bbq & california style sushi restaurant tex wasabi's

drizzled with "wow-sabi" cream! ewww

keep peppering those phrases with exclamations, and those entrees with wasabi-mayo

meat blanket of seasoned pastrami

apocalyptic marinara

I would pay top dollar to eat at a Guy Fieri restaurant with a Sandra Lee drink menu.

This burger is a work of art like Guy's tattoos.

"Truffle, truffle + more truffle! Julienned cut fries tossed with black truffle & truffle infused gouda, served with a creamy white truffle dip. Proof that you can't have too much of a good thing."

Proof!

anyone who orders those truffle fries should be shot

I don't think you'd need to shoot them, just wait for the inevitable heart attack

like a diner at a guy fieri restaurant, i demand only the most instant of gratifications

Chicken Wonton Takeout Salad $14
This one-of-a-kind-salad has everything but the kitchen sink. Crisp Napa tips tossed with mixed greens, mandarins toasted cashews & the usual suspects, finished with ginger vinaigrette + skewered chicken wontons.

"the usual suspects" combined with Guy Fieri makes this the most sinister salad description I've ever read

Guy-talian Fondue Dippers $13
Pepperoni-wrapped breadstick twists served alongside our smoky provolone + sausage cheese dip, topped with fresh tomato bruschetta.

Never was there a more superfluous use of fresh tomatoes in the history of eating.

well no, that just warns you off the bruschetta in Guy's other restaurants

ok how many of these did you guys just make up

Pic-a-Nik Sandwich $16
Not your av-er-age turkey sandwich. Swiss cheese + citrus-cranberry relish, chillin' on an "awesome pretzel" hoagie smeared with Guy's famous donkey sauce.

http://www.chud.com/nextraimages/yogics_002.JPG

The Guy-talian Deli Salad $16
We have built this salad in a crown of prosciutto-wrapped smoked provolone! Filled with crisp romaine lettuce, imported Italian meats & cheeses, pickled Italian veggies + tossed in a red wine vinaigrette.

so are you supposed to wear this salad on your head, or

"How about a 'Welsh rarebit' but with provolone?"
"Hmmm maybe... but it needs something more."
"We can make it a smoked provolone, give it a little depth and nuance"
"Good, but it needs something more."
"Well, we could make it a sausage and provolone dip, I guess."
"Almost, but not quite there yet..."
"Jesus, Guy, what do you want? Pepperoni wrapped around the bread sticks?"
"YES! But it needs MORE!!!"
"Yeah, okay then why don't you just add TOMATO BRUSCHETTA while you're at it, you sick fucker."
"WELCOME TO FLAVORTOWN!"
"I quit."

not gonna lie, I would eat the shit out of the mac & cheese bacon burger

the menu reads like the kickspit underground rock festival infomercial

Struggling with the logistics of loading this salad into the crouton:

Brutha's Badass Caesar Salad $15
Chopped romaine lettuce, croutons, lots of Parmesan cheese + Guy's favorite Caesar dressing are loaded into a crisp, garlicy mega-crouton.

it's an entire loaf of bread

"mega crouton"
About 3,420,000 results (0.52 seconds)
Did you mean:
meg crofton
mecca croydon

I want to order that caesar salad and ask them to hold the lettuce

thought that said "Mega crouton about 3,420,000 calories"

Guy's Cheesecake Challenge $12
A huge mountain of cheesecake topped with potato chips, pretzels + hot fudge.

AKA "a piece of cheesecake Guy dropped on his couch"

Toga not included.

this is the greatest thing I've read today

What you don't see is the behind the scenes sweatshop, with trafficking victims loading shovelfuls of salads into giant croutons, tattooing turkey burgers, making vats of Guy's blue-sabi sauce (the less you know about the better). The overseer calls himself the Mayor of Flavortown. On first offense, workers are punished by being made to wear the crown of prosciutto-wrapped provolone. Second offense and it's into the donkey sauce.

basically any Guy Fieri menu is a tour of Guy Fieri's sofa.

Order 'em in the city they were born!

These wings are certainly not for the faint of heart & should probably be illegal.

Worth posting this once more:

http://guysamericankitchenandbar.com/guy.jpg

From http://guysamericankitchenandbar.com/

ahahaha I forgot about that

$2 to the ILMer who can survive the Captain Beefheart.

Two drumsticks of fried mortadella to go with the beef heart so that "you can rock out American style" thanks Guy! You're sweet.

can't wait til Guy starts incorporating Palcohol into his recipes

hahaha schwantz, someone just linked that to me on Facebook

I would pay to see a Faust-style tragic play about Guy Fieri

Called "The Mayor of Flavortown"

Soundtrack by Smashmouth.

"Master and the Chillin' Like A Villain Margarita"

Forget Schwantz... it's Flavortown

don't see why we can't compose it right here, looks like we already have a pretty good start

under no circumstances am i gising "meat blanket"

that one sandwich is just a pastrami sandwich with a hamburger and onion straws stuck on it

Half of Guy's dishes are describable as "_____ with a hamburger and onion straws stuck on it"

half of Guy's reviews on OKCupid are describable as "_____ with a hamburger and onion straws stuck on it"

nobody's pointed out the top of the menu - A REAL HUMAN BEING - AND A REAL HERO

always die when i open this thread and see "raw fish and seaweed"