worst sounding sushi roll at guy fieri's southern bbq & california style sushi restaurant tex wasabi's

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Guy-talian Fondue Dippers $13
Pepperoni-wrapped breadstick twists served alongside our smoky provolone + sausage cheese dip, topped with fresh tomato bruschetta.

Never was there a more superfluous use of fresh tomatoes in the history of eating.

carl agatha, Wednesday, 23 April 2014 19:24 (ten years ago) link

well no, that just warns you off the bruschetta in Guy's other restaurants

Wahaca Flocka Flame (DJP), Wednesday, 23 April 2014 19:25 (ten years ago) link

ok how many of these did you guys just make up

frogbs, Wednesday, 23 April 2014 19:26 (ten years ago) link

Pic-a-Nik Sandwich $16
Not your av-er-age turkey sandwich. Swiss cheese + citrus-cranberry relish, chillin' on an "awesome pretzel" hoagie smeared with Guy's famous donkey sauce.

http://www.chud.com/nextraimages/yogics_002.JPG

bi-polar uncle (its OK-he's dead) (Phil D.), Wednesday, 23 April 2014 19:28 (ten years ago) link

The Guy-talian Deli Salad $16
We have built this salad in a crown of prosciutto-wrapped smoked provolone! Filled with crisp romaine lettuce, imported Italian meats & cheeses, pickled Italian veggies + tossed in a red wine vinaigrette.

so are you supposed to wear this salad on your head, or

chillin' on an "awesome pretzel" hoagie (DJP), Wednesday, 23 April 2014 19:30 (ten years ago) link

"How about a 'Welsh rarebit' but with provolone?"
"Hmmm maybe... but it needs something more."
"We can make it a smoked provolone, give it a little depth and nuance"
"Good, but it needs something more."
"Well, we could make it a sausage and provolone dip, I guess."
"Almost, but not quite there yet..."
"Jesus, Guy, what do you want? Pepperoni wrapped around the bread sticks?"
"YES! But it needs MORE!!!"
"Yeah, okay then why don't you just add TOMATO BRUSCHETTA while you're at it, you sick fucker."
"WELCOME TO FLAVORTOWN!"
"I quit."

carl agatha, Wednesday, 23 April 2014 19:31 (ten years ago) link

not gonna lie, I would eat the shit out of the mac & cheese bacon burger

chillin' on an "awesome pretzel" hoagie (DJP), Wednesday, 23 April 2014 19:32 (ten years ago) link

the menu reads like the kickspit underground rock festival infomercial

crunchy righteous rojo rings (Sufjan Grafton), Wednesday, 23 April 2014 19:32 (ten years ago) link

Struggling with the logistics of loading this salad into the crouton:

Brutha's Badass Caesar Salad $15
Chopped romaine lettuce, croutons, lots of Parmesan cheese + Guy's favorite Caesar dressing are loaded into a crisp, garlicy mega-crouton.

carl agatha, Wednesday, 23 April 2014 19:33 (ten years ago) link

it's an entire loaf of bread

dan m, Wednesday, 23 April 2014 19:34 (ten years ago) link

"mega crouton"
About 3,420,000 results (0.52 seconds)
Did you mean:
meg crofton
mecca croydon

bi-polar uncle (its OK-he's dead) (Phil D.), Wednesday, 23 April 2014 19:34 (ten years ago) link

I want to order that caesar salad and ask them to hold the lettuce

chillin' on an "awesome pretzel" hoagie (DJP), Wednesday, 23 April 2014 19:35 (ten years ago) link

thought that said "Mega crouton about 3,420,000 calories"

guess that bundt gettin eaten (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 23 April 2014 19:36 (ten years ago) link

Guy's Cheesecake Challenge $12
A huge mountain of cheesecake topped with potato chips, pretzels + hot fudge.

AKA "a piece of cheesecake Guy dropped on his couch"

chillin' on an "awesome pretzel" hoagie (DJP), Wednesday, 23 April 2014 19:36 (ten years ago) link

Toga not included.

guess that bundt gettin eaten (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 23 April 2014 19:36 (ten years ago) link

this is the greatest thing I've read today

chillin' on an "awesome pretzel" hoagie (DJP), Wednesday, 23 April 2014 19:37 (ten years ago) link

What you don't see is the behind the scenes sweatshop, with trafficking victims loading shovelfuls of salads into giant croutons, tattooing turkey burgers, making vats of Guy's blue-sabi sauce (the less you know about the better). The overseer calls himself the Mayor of Flavortown. On first offense, workers are punished by being made to wear the crown of prosciutto-wrapped provolone. Second offense and it's into the donkey sauce.

carl agatha, Wednesday, 23 April 2014 19:37 (ten years ago) link

basically any Guy Fieri menu is a tour of Guy Fieri's sofa.

guess that bundt gettin eaten (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 23 April 2014 19:38 (ten years ago) link

Order 'em in the city they were born!

glasses jacket jerfman (how's life), Wednesday, 23 April 2014 19:42 (ten years ago) link

These wings are certainly not for the faint of heart & should probably be illegal.

glasses jacket jerfman (how's life), Wednesday, 23 April 2014 19:44 (ten years ago) link

Worth posting this once more:

http://guysamericankitchenandbar.com/guy.jpg

schwantz, Wednesday, 23 April 2014 19:45 (ten years ago) link

From http://guysamericankitchenandbar.com/

schwantz, Wednesday, 23 April 2014 19:45 (ten years ago) link

ahahaha I forgot about that

dan m, Wednesday, 23 April 2014 19:46 (ten years ago) link

$2 to the ILMer who can survive the Captain Beefheart.

guess that bundt gettin eaten (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 23 April 2014 19:46 (ten years ago) link

Two drumsticks of fried mortadella to go with the beef heart so that "you can rock out American style" thanks Guy! You're sweet.

guess that bundt gettin eaten (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 23 April 2014 19:47 (ten years ago) link

can't wait til Guy starts incorporating Palcohol into his recipes

Number None, Wednesday, 23 April 2014 20:01 (ten years ago) link

hahaha schwantz, someone just linked that to me on Facebook

chillin' on an "awesome pretzel" hoagie (DJP), Wednesday, 23 April 2014 20:02 (ten years ago) link

I would pay to see a Faust-style tragic play about Guy Fieri

How dare you tarnish the reputation of Turturro's yodel (Shakey Mo Collier), Wednesday, 23 April 2014 20:06 (ten years ago) link

Called "The Mayor of Flavortown"

carl agatha, Wednesday, 23 April 2014 20:15 (ten years ago) link

Soundtrack by Smashmouth.

carl agatha, Wednesday, 23 April 2014 20:15 (ten years ago) link

"Master and the Chillin' Like A Villain Margarita"

schwantz, Wednesday, 23 April 2014 20:19 (ten years ago) link

Forget Schwantz... it's Flavortown

How dare you tarnish the reputation of Turturro's yodel (Shakey Mo Collier), Wednesday, 23 April 2014 20:22 (ten years ago) link

don't see why we can't compose it right here, looks like we already have a pretty good start

nitro-burning funny car (Moodles), Wednesday, 23 April 2014 20:25 (ten years ago) link

under no circumstances am i gising "meat blanket"

the portentous pepper (govern yourself accordingly), Wednesday, 23 April 2014 20:46 (ten years ago) link

that one sandwich is just a pastrami sandwich with a hamburger and onion straws stuck on it

a strange man (mh), Wednesday, 23 April 2014 21:26 (ten years ago) link

Half of Guy's dishes are describable as "_____ with a hamburger and onion straws stuck on it"

chillin' on an "awesome pretzel" hoagie (DJP), Wednesday, 23 April 2014 22:14 (ten years ago) link

half of Guy's reviews on OKCupid are describable as "_____ with a hamburger and onion straws stuck on it"

guess that bundt gettin eaten (Alfred, Lord Sotosyn), Wednesday, 23 April 2014 22:19 (ten years ago) link

nobody's pointed out the top of the menu - A REAL HUMAN BEING - AND A REAL HERO

panettone for the painfully alone (mayor jingleberries), Wednesday, 23 April 2014 22:23 (ten years ago) link

always die when i open this thread and see "raw fish and seaweed"

een, Wednesday, 23 April 2014 22:33 (ten years ago) link

Ain't Nothing Butta Chicken Wing...

All our wings are trimmed into "lollipops" so they're super easy to eat, then we brine & roast each one before frying & tossing in one of our off-da-hook wing sauces.

????? any pics of this

slam dunk, Wednesday, 23 April 2014 23:32 (ten years ago) link

i've seen this before and all i gotta say is:
if you can't handle a wing in its natural state, you don't deserve a wing at all.

ian, Wednesday, 23 April 2014 23:32 (ten years ago) link

http://www.babsprojects.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/01/lolypops1.jpg

ian, Wednesday, 23 April 2014 23:33 (ten years ago) link

wtf there's perfectly good meat down near where you hold it!

call all destroyer, Wednesday, 23 April 2014 23:38 (ten years ago) link

Chicken lollipops are great fuiud

, Wednesday, 23 April 2014 23:39 (ten years ago) link

I was shocked recently to see that one of the headline features on Yahoo was an instructional video on how to eat a chicken wing. The US educational system is a shambles. These lollipops are just the next step toward our ultimate destruction.

nitro-burning funny car (Moodles), Wednesday, 23 April 2014 23:43 (ten years ago) link

It's an Indian-Chinese fast food dish, not surprised Guy is pillaging ethnic cuisines for inspiration ; )

, Wednesday, 23 April 2014 23:44 (ten years ago) link

i mean i'm sure the lollipops are good. wings are good. i'm a pretty ugly american but shaving off 75 percent of your food and throwing it in the trash so you don't have to use a napkin is pretty disgusting imo.

slam dunk, Wednesday, 23 April 2014 23:50 (ten years ago) link

Well in an Indian Chinese restaurant I guarantee you the trimmed off meat is going in a stir fry

I assume in Guy Fieri's restaurant that meat is being liquified for injecting into a cocktail

, Wednesday, 23 April 2014 23:54 (ten years ago) link

lol

glasses jacket jerfman (how's life), Wednesday, 23 April 2014 23:55 (ten years ago) link

there is no meat-shaving involved. wings are just severed at the joint, de-skinned and flipped inside out.

r. bean (soda), Thursday, 24 April 2014 00:02 (ten years ago) link


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