Star Wars 7 shit talk

"Jedis cut through them like butter."

"Corooskant?"

sometimes the butter is cold and hard, and this creates drama.

darth maul was like the world's biggest merch con

Totally, dude looked scary and and awesome but turned out to be a stupid red mute juggalo who gets chopped in half. It's funny that he's like the iconic image of this movie and people have tattoos of him and shit.

Though really Boba Fett is kind lame as the badass icon of the original trilogy. He's basically a UPS guy who delivered a package then fell into a giant sand hole.

Few sounds are as crazy as this one. The base effect is that of an alligator hissing (another animal whose call that doesn’t fit), but this is mixed with the sound of some of the film’s crew’s stomachs having just eaten (pizza of all things).How Burtt decided to do that is anybodies guess, although it does explain the other strange sound the sarlacc makes; the burp was probably just a burp.

xpost plus now he's a bloody kiwi ffs

thanks for the new dn joygoat

lol joygoat

When Episode III: Revenge of the Sith was released, handmaiden fans were hoping we would gain more knowledge about the newest handmaidens and next Queen of Naboo. Unfortunately, their roles were minimized and their scenes deleted.

I'd have an opinion about the trailer except I am way too distracted by the fact that this "hilt" wouldn't do it's job since the opponent lightsaber "blade" would fit inside the corner below the hilt beam and destroy it. It wouldn't block anything. What is this bullshit gimmick? Fucking infomercial lightsabers.

― Evan, Saturday, November 29, 2014 11:53 PM (2 days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I say the beam continues inside the metal hilt part. It needs to be enclosed next to the handle so that you don't scorch your hand.

― jmm, Sunday, November 30, 2014 12:08 AM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Hahaha wow Colbert just went through both of these points EXACTLY on the show tonight. Was pretty good.

I don't really agree with Shakey's "people hating on the prequels right from the start is revisionist history" comments either. Maybe it applies to folks who first saw the prequels as children, and then revisited them as adults... But back in 1999 my friends were in their late teens and early 20s, and I remember every one of them said Phantom Menace was shit, both the Star Wars fans and non-fans.

For example, my flatmate of the time was one of those people who queued for 24 hours to get the tickets to the TPM premiere, and she went there with some geek friends, wearing capes and plastic lightsabers, etc. And when she came back from the cinema, I asked whether the movie was good, she was just like, yeah, it was pretty good, but somehow she sounded way less enthusiastic than before seeing it... Then a couple of days later I saw TPM too, and I said to her, it was actually pretty crappy, wasn't it, and she had to admit that it was.

I think she'd just been so excited before TPM came out that it took a little while for her to get past that enthusiasm and admit that it was awful, and maybe a similar thing happened with other fans, but the processing time we're talking about here was days, not years.

it took YEARS for people to turn on the prequels and admit they were terrible

― Οὖτις, Monday, December 1, 2014 4:50 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

If you're going to go to the trouble of trolling this thread for weeks and weeks and weeks you should get your facts straight. Negative response to TPM was almost instantaneous, if not blanket.

dont see what there really is to be excited about in that trailer. it could come from any of the previous films and means nothing. id have liked just one shot of the falcon or something a bit more coherent. or something a bit more enigmatic or genuinely teasery.

the series of three Star Wars making of books by J W Rinzler that have come out in the last 5 or 6 years are really fantastic and as people have been saying, very relevatory in showing how many of the best ideas came from everyone around Lucas, especially when it came to Empire and Jedi... i was actually surprised how much it goes into that given they're officially approved, but maybe George doesn't give a shit anymore. with the first film its especially obvious that nearly all of his first ideas - "so this kid is called pookoo starkiller the fourth if the jedi bendu power legion" - are rejected pretty quickly when his wife / brian depalma / the postman say "that shit sounds dumb" - ep 4 went through soooo many drafts to remove the nonsense, its amazing how well it ruend out

*turned out

there was plenty of negative response to the phantom menace when it came out, but there was also this insane "i liked it more the second, third, fourth time" sentiment among some folks like i'd never seen before and never to such a degree since

I did have a friend who saw it three times hoping it would get better.

and that was also the standard response for why people went back for 2nd and 3rd sequel helpings; hoping it/they would get better.

he series of three Star Wars making of books by J W Rinzler that have come out in the last 5 or 6 years are really fantastic and as people have been saying, very relevatory in showing how many of the best ideas came from everyone around Lucas, especially when it came to Empire and Jedi... i was actually surprised how much it goes into that given they're officially approved, but maybe George doesn't give a shit anymore. with the first film its especially obvious that nearly all of his first ideas

I wonder – I really don't know – to what degree the novels written since 1999 have built up more affection for the notion of Star Wars than Lucas did on his own. I mean, there's novels out about every wrinkle in the SW universe ("What happened b/w IG-88 and Dengar as they journeyd to Vader's Super Star Destroyer? Let's pitch the idea!"). I read one of those books, The Rise of Darth Vader, out of sheer curiosity; it wasn't bad at all and fleshed out stuff that Lucas' direction had elided.

TPM was briefly the second highest grossing film in us history (ignoring inflation), and i wonder how much of that $430m came from folks saying "maybe it's MY fault"

and even with the undeniably diminished enthusiasm, the second film still made over $300m in the us alone. made more than the hobbit movies are making in current dollars.

and when TPM was released in 3D two years ago it made another 43m in the us. bet a portion of that was people hoping time had been kind to it.

maybe they hoped Jar-Jar would look different through 3D glasses

Novels possibly quite a bit behind video games there's? Tho I may just be showing my biases.

Hah "scientists now suggest that the opening crawl in the prequels may have put a generation off reading"

The crawls were cool as visual devices but terrible as storytelling devices

I went w/ very low expectations on the UK release, since all the noise from the US had been bad, but I enjoyed it more than I thought I would. Not as bad as I'd been led to believe. When I went to see it again though… terrible, terrible boredom. Just a painful, dragging grind. That pod race seemed to go on forever.

Somewhere, in a galaxy far far away, that pod race is still happening.

I think I didn't see Phantom Menace until pretty late and I just remember it being a completely miserable, frustrating, depressing experience, something like Jacob must have felt after waiting 7 years to marry Rachel and he lifts the veil and it's Leah.

I'd have an opinion about the trailer except I am way too distracted by the fact that this "hilt" wouldn't do it's job since the opponent lightsaber "blade" would fit inside the corner below the hilt beam and destroy it. It wouldn't block anything. What is this bullshit gimmick? Fucking infomercial lightsabers.

― Evan, Saturday, November 29, 2014 11:53 PM (2 days ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

I say the beam continues inside the metal hilt part. It needs to be enclosed next to the handle so that you don't scorch your hand.

― jmm, Sunday, November 30, 2014 12:08 AM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Hahaha wow Colbert just went through both of these points EXACTLY on the show tonight. Was pretty good.

― Evan, Monday, December 1, 2014 11:44 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Link:
http://thecolbertreport.cc.com/videos/umsrnb/lightsaber-controversy

There's a decent fan edit of the prequels floating around that squeezes all three films down to a tidy 2.5 hours or so and excises as much Jar Jar and Annie as possible.

Def feel like there's an auteurist case to be made that, however inept and unwatchable Phantom Menace etc etc actually are, they represent a genuine, individual vision, one that's fascinating precisely because of its disregard for so many of the agreed rules/demands of commercial genre filmmaking - whereas the Abrams installments will be professional, 'well made', and ultimately just more product.

Wasn't it an actor who made it, or something? The Matthew Modine edit?

xpost

Ep 7 Crawl should mention that a plague has completely wiped out the gungans.

Ha, I just watched that Colbert bit.

I liked when he did the Sarcastic Dopey Strawman Interlocutor voice and then randomly named it Greg.

that's my trouble with auteurist theory: the difference between professional well made product and inept unwatchable product is too negligible to matter.

Abrams installment, please.

Also eh, professional well made product gave us Casablanca, I'd settle for that.

weird challops -- being inept in a consistent way is not "auterist"

Tell that to Jess Franco!

the emperor's first name is Sheev

― Οὖτις, Monday, December 1, 2014 6:35 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

you're one of those people who catalog really stupid things you've heard about something you used to be invested in so you can tell current fans they're dumb, aren't you?

also, lol Sheev

http://snl.jt.org/caps/characters/PhHa-Beev%20Algar.jpg

colbert report included this tweet from bill corbett aka crow t. robot

the difference between professional well made product and inept unwatchable product is too negligible to matter.

what kind of nonsense is this

with auteur theory. I think it's nonsense too. If you read the classic texts, there's such a thing as a "Victor Fleming Movie" or a "Brett Ratner Movie."

Being inept in an consistent way and driving away everyone who says / can say "No, that's stupid" = the test of true auteurs!

Who said that (here or elsewhere)?

Star Wars 7 shit talk

("What happened b/w IG-88 and Dengar as they journeyd to Vader's Super Star Destroyer? Let's pitch the idea!")

lest we forget

The remaining IG-88 uploaded his consciousness into a computer core destined for Death Star II. He succeeded in being uploaded, and was preparing to activate his program to take over all droids in the galaxy when it was destroyed. With his consciousness in the Death Star II, he would literally become the Death Star.[3]

Emperor Palpatine was the only known person on the Death Star to suspect something was wrong after the uploading of the computer core with IG-88 inside. Before the station's destruction, he noticed a series of doors in his throne room opening and closing sporadically. IG-88 did this to show the Emperor that he was not all powerful. However, IG-88 was utterly baffled when it appeared that Emperor Palpatine used some unseen force to attempt to push the doors open. However, IG-88 exerted more force and was able to continue to keep the Emperor locked in, until he grew tired of the game and unlocked the door.[3]

Lando Calrissian and Wedge Antilles ended up destroying the core, destroying both the Death Star, and the A.I. of IG-88 as well.

However, IG-88 exerted more force and was able to continue to keep the Emperor locked in, until he grew tired of the game and unlocked the door.[3]

hero

One of the more damning takedowns of TPM is that suggested viewing order of all the films that just excises TPM entirely, dismissing everything that happens in it as inessential to all the other films. Machete Order? Yeah: http://www.nomachetejuggling.com/2011/11/11/the-star-wars-saga-suggested-viewing-order/

Episode I is a failure on every possible level. The acting, writing, directing, and special effects are all atrocious, and the movie is just plain boring. Luckily, George Lucas has done everyone a favor by making the content of Episode I completely irrelevant to the rest of the series. Seriously, think about it for a minute. Name as many things as you can that happen in Episode I and actually help flesh out the story in any subsequent episode.

As such, some people may want to watch Episode I after all. As some commenters have pointed out, there is still a place to watch Episode I with this order. The ideal place is after the "main saga" of IV, V, II, III, VI is complete. Not immediately after, but like "okay, Star Wars is over, but there's some other stuff you can watch that takes place in the same galaxy with some of the same people."

once you get past the silly comedy voice; this 70 minute (!) video analysis/takedown of Phantom Menace gets so much correct about why it doesn't work at all. really worth the watch:
http://redlettermedia.com/plinkett/star-wars/star-wars-episode-1-the-phantom-menace/