Star Wars 7 shit talk

Ha, I just watched that Colbert bit.

I liked when he did the Sarcastic Dopey Strawman Interlocutor voice and then randomly named it Greg.

that's my trouble with auteurist theory: the difference between professional well made product and inept unwatchable product is too negligible to matter.

Abrams installment, please.

Also eh, professional well made product gave us Casablanca, I'd settle for that.

weird challops -- being inept in a consistent way is not "auterist"

Tell that to Jess Franco!

the emperor's first name is Sheev

― Οὖτις, Monday, December 1, 2014 6:35 PM (Yesterday) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

you're one of those people who catalog really stupid things you've heard about something you used to be invested in so you can tell current fans they're dumb, aren't you?

also, lol Sheev

http://snl.jt.org/caps/characters/PhHa-Beev%20Algar.jpg

colbert report included this tweet from bill corbett aka crow t. robot

the difference between professional well made product and inept unwatchable product is too negligible to matter.

what kind of nonsense is this

with auteur theory. I think it's nonsense too. If you read the classic texts, there's such a thing as a "Victor Fleming Movie" or a "Brett Ratner Movie."

Being inept in an consistent way and driving away everyone who says / can say "No, that's stupid" = the test of true auteurs!

Who said that (here or elsewhere)?

Star Wars 7 shit talk

("What happened b/w IG-88 and Dengar as they journeyd to Vader's Super Star Destroyer? Let's pitch the idea!")

lest we forget

The remaining IG-88 uploaded his consciousness into a computer core destined for Death Star II. He succeeded in being uploaded, and was preparing to activate his program to take over all droids in the galaxy when it was destroyed. With his consciousness in the Death Star II, he would literally become the Death Star.[3]

Emperor Palpatine was the only known person on the Death Star to suspect something was wrong after the uploading of the computer core with IG-88 inside. Before the station's destruction, he noticed a series of doors in his throne room opening and closing sporadically. IG-88 did this to show the Emperor that he was not all powerful. However, IG-88 was utterly baffled when it appeared that Emperor Palpatine used some unseen force to attempt to push the doors open. However, IG-88 exerted more force and was able to continue to keep the Emperor locked in, until he grew tired of the game and unlocked the door.[3]

Lando Calrissian and Wedge Antilles ended up destroying the core, destroying both the Death Star, and the A.I. of IG-88 as well.

However, IG-88 exerted more force and was able to continue to keep the Emperor locked in, until he grew tired of the game and unlocked the door.[3]

hero

One of the more damning takedowns of TPM is that suggested viewing order of all the films that just excises TPM entirely, dismissing everything that happens in it as inessential to all the other films. Machete Order? Yeah: http://www.nomachetejuggling.com/2011/11/11/the-star-wars-saga-suggested-viewing-order/

Episode I is a failure on every possible level. The acting, writing, directing, and special effects are all atrocious, and the movie is just plain boring. Luckily, George Lucas has done everyone a favor by making the content of Episode I completely irrelevant to the rest of the series. Seriously, think about it for a minute. Name as many things as you can that happen in Episode I and actually help flesh out the story in any subsequent episode.

As such, some people may want to watch Episode I after all. As some commenters have pointed out, there is still a place to watch Episode I with this order. The ideal place is after the "main saga" of IV, V, II, III, VI is complete. Not immediately after, but like "okay, Star Wars is over, but there's some other stuff you can watch that takes place in the same galaxy with some of the same people."

once you get past the silly comedy voice; this 70 minute (!) video analysis/takedown of Phantom Menace gets so much correct about why it doesn't work at all. really worth the watch:
http://redlettermedia.com/plinkett/star-wars/star-wars-episode-1-the-phantom-menace/

Yeah, that and star trek are red letter's epic masterpieces.

I asked whether the movie was good, she was just like, yeah, it was pretty good

I rest my fucking case

people did NOT want to admit TPM was bad

why on earth would I spend 70 minutes watching a video take apart a movie if it isn't MST3K

Tuomas' roommate has conclusively proved Shakey's point. Lock thread

that was also the standard response for why people went back for 2nd and 3rd sequel helpings; hoping it/they would get better.

thank you sir may I have another!

this is trauma victim shit

RLM's Best of the Worst series is great too. It's basically the MST3K formula, but sometimes they analyze weird non-movies (instructional videos and such) that viewers send in.

I recall nothing but negativity surrounding TPM, not limited to the parade of racial stereotypes

If I cared more than I do about making Shakey look dumb, I would dig through TheForce.net forums from 1999-2000, but I don't.

I can't get over this idea that nobody hated TPM until the internet told them, it's pretty hilarious.

I still maintain that Harrison Ford and Carrie Fisher are the main reasons why the OG trilogy is better than the prequel trilogy; storywise they are comparable enjoyable nonsense and the outright ire over the prequels (particularly Episode I) is some ultra-nerdy "Losing My Edge"/"I was there" shit

Οὖτις, are you here to shame trauma victims

if everybody hates TPM so much why do so many people keep paying to watch it

they do?

once you get past the silly comedy voice; this 70 minute (!) video analysis/takedown of Phantom Menace gets so much correct about why it doesn't work at all. really worth the watch:
http://redlettermedia.com/plinkett/star-wars/star-wars-episode-1-the-phantom-menace/

― jamiesummerz, Tuesday, December 2, 2014 11:40 AM (22 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

Really hate how this guy throws in jokes about kidnapping hookers though.

Imagining SW w/out Han Solo is like imagining ILM without Geir

DJP OTM. I said yesterday that none of these are terribly good movies, but none of them are terribly awful movies, either. I don't personally need to see TPM again but the other two prequels are perfectly serviceable. There's stuff in each of them that bugs me (even Empire has that weird and irresolvable duel timeline issue) but they're all fine and fun to put on in the background while doing other stuff on a Saturday afternoon.

I honestly believe the active awfulness of Jar-Jar in TPM informs his decision to be the deciding vote that destroys the Republic in ROTS. It may not have been an intentional story beat but it's the only thing that makes Jar-Jar the character's existence worth anything.

the problem with the second and third prequels is always gonna be whether in your childhood you imagined young Darth Vader as Leif Garrett in purple lipstick

they do?

did you miss all the ticket sales numbers croup cited

Shakes, a lot of us went out of curiosity. Some of us made regrettable choices in friends.

I can't believe you're still arguing about this

yep the character stuff in those RLM videos is pretty awful - but the actual film analysis is funny and otm

this was TWO YEARS AGO

After its 3D re-release in 2012, the worldwide box office gross exceeded US$1 billion. Although in the intervening years the film had lost some of its rankings in the lists of highest-grossing films, the 3D re-release returned it to the worldwide all-time top ten for several months. In North America, its revenues overtook those of the original Star Wars as the saga's highest grossing film when not adjusting for inflation of ticket prices, and is currently the fifth-highest-grossing film in North America.

It is pretty much a given that Jake Lloyd and Hayden Christensen were terrible as Anakin Skywalker; neither could act, Lloyd wasn't cute enough to make up for his non-acting and Christensen had negative charisma with his costars, which made his performance worse.

There's enough enjoyable nonsense throughout the rest of the movies for me to still enjoy them despite the fact that their focal character is almost the worst thing in the world (Jar-Jar Binks is actually the worst thing in the world btw).

I honestly believe the active awfulness of Jar-Jar in TPM informs his decision to be the deciding vote that destroys the Republic in ROTS.

Absolutely. Well, from a storytelling standpoint, it's really the failure of everyone around him to recognize Jar-Jar's awfulness that ultimately leads to the destruction of the Republic. He is the true Phantom Menace.

this was TWO YEARS AGO

http://bottledgoose.net/gifs/ROTJ-ForceLightning.gif

Shakey your argument is so painfully obtuse

Like are you really equating box office popularity with "typical ilxor and their circle friends thought it was good at the time"?

I wish the final shot after the anguished "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" had been Palpatine and Jar-Jar congratulating each other on their collusion to take down the empire, with Jar-Jar's reward being stewardship over Naboo and the subjugation/enslavement of its human-like population

"typical ilxor and their circle friends thought it was good at the time"?

I never said this.