Star Wars 7 shit talk

One of my favorite conceits of Star Wars is the sort of indefinite nature of the use of Force in combat, like how they seem to have to strain a lot to make the lightsaber come to them but then sometimes they can just fire themselves up into the air like nothing. There seems to be some sort of limitation placed on its use by mental energy and focus but it's not exactly clear, but it seems sort of believable, like how a basketball player might have "hot" moments.

everything is made out of force, innit? "The force is an energy field created by all living things, it surrounds us, it penetrates us, it binds the galaxy together" xp

Man, I can out-nerd all you nerf-herders: http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Cortosis

Cortosis ore was a very rare, brittle, fibrous material whose conductive properties caused lightsabers to temporarily short out upon contact. This effect made cortosis a useful material for anti-lightsaber melee weapons, though with repeated strikes, a lightsaber could still cut through it. Cortosis, due to its energy resistant properties, was also resistant to blaster fire.

. . . Cortosis ore was used extensively in shadowtrooper armor, as well as the C-B3 cortosis battle droids during the Clone Wars, and the Force-using group known as the Jensaarai. The cortosis used for this armor was smuggled out from Bespin's Cloud City. The walls of the Imperial Palace were also lined with cortosis ore. It was also used to strengthen starfighter and capital ship hulls, and was woven into body armor.

Cortosis was expensive to mine because it was so rare and it had to be absolutely refined. Pure, unrefined, cortosis ore was for unexplained reasons, energized, killing anyone who touched it with his/her bare skin, even Hutts, who had energy resistant enzymes in their sweat. Miners had to have filtering equipment, or else the cortosis particles would accumulate in their systems, causing hair loss, sickness, and eventually death. The substance was energy resistant, meaning energy tools (such as plasma torches) were virtually useless. The brute force of hydraulic jacks were used to mine it, though it quickly wore the head of the jack to uselessness and its dust would clog the pistons. Pockets of highly-combustible lethane gas often formed near cortosis deposits.[1]

This cortosis stuff does not sound so realistic

anyone can quote Wookiepedia Phil. Look

Teloberry bushes were plants native to Misnor. They were eaten by chiilaks.

Chiilaks, dude.

this shit is just so fuckin funny

ah yes lethane gas, adjacent to unobtainium on the periodic table iirc

https://burndownblog.files.wordpress.com/2011/05/simpsons-genius-at-work.gif

at least they put SOME minimal effort into "lethane gas", as opposed to NOTREALium

I kind of want to know how the Falcon flies like that within gravity, while we're at it, although I feel I am inadequate in both my flight dynamics and star wars knowledge to properly debate this

dunno, but the concept art of the repurposed AT-AT is cool as hell:

Ha, that could be a callback to the repurposed Tauntaun.

it's covered in hoverboards iirc xp

turns out the ball droid is a McQuarrie concept too btw

“I think Artoo was just described as a small robot. I thought of him as running on a giant ball bearing — just a sphere, a circle, wheel-like. He had gyros so he could go in any direction on this ball.”

that's so cool.

I liked Lisanti's description of R2 in the Grantland piece as a "squealing bipedal diaper genie"

tried to rewrite "Moses Supposes" from Singin' in the Rain for cortosis, gave up

with gyros in my balls, i could go in any direction

My ball gyros keep them in the same position/direction no matter which way I turn.

Super painful if I turn too fast.

white sauce joke

how did no one make the "they should make the whole plane out of the stuff they use to make the black box" joke in Hurting/SaberGate

prob bc it wouldn't be funny

they should make all of ilx out of hurting's posts

xp oh it would've been hilarious

This effect made cortosis a useful material for anti-lightsaber melee weapons, though with repeated strikes, a lightsaber could still cut through it.

i can only imagine that looking like this:

http://media1.giphy.com/media/yowyM4bfXdCOA/giphy.gif

Nixon head is essential.

lol

who is playing nixon head in ep 7

greg grunberg

harry shearer natch

ok what bothers me about the lightsaber hilt now is if there's lightsaber beam underneath the metal tube bits which would still protect the wielder if someone else strikes through it, why don't they encase the entire hilt with that metal material? it would break pretty easily yeah but until that happens it would protect the wielder from the beams and allow them to regain that lost mobility that comes from constantly worrying if you're going to pierce yourself if you make a single mistake

if anyone who knows me or just anyone who like googles me for any reason finds this post please know that this is not representative of who i am as a person, i'm a really cool guy who does cool things and i have a lot to offer

Forest is full of bugs. Lightsaber hilt is a bug zapper. Solved.

The hilt can also be used for offense this way. Everybody is so concerned about this Jedi hurting itself like it is a goddamn baby.

yeah prob didn't become a dark jedi by being clumsy with swords

Chewie has a bionic arm now too according to concept art.

It's almost like bionic arms are a status symbol.

Everybody is so concerned about this Jedi hurting itself like it is a goddamn baby. youngling

lol

it'd be funny if the bionic chewie arm just gesticulated awkwardly and wildly like a regular wookie arm

what's the old joke "doc, that's amazing news, I couldn't play the piano at all before the accident"

what if chewie accidentally rips his own dick off with his bionic arm. he should have mittens.

what's the old joke "doc, that's amazing news, I couldn't play the piano at all before the accident"

https://pbs.twimg.com/media/BFeqoE0CcAAN6M7.jpg

what if chewie accidentally rips his own dick off with his bionic arm. he should have mittens.

― $0.00 Butter sauce only. No marinara. (Sufjan Grafton), Wednesday, December 3, 2014 3:05 PM (14 minutes ago) Bookmark Flag Post Permalink

So he can softly rip his own dick off? How would this help?

Have you ever tried to grip a wookie's dick with mittens?

http://www.comicbookmovie.com/images/users/uploads/17708/1240601086.jpg

haha my first thought was
http://static.gamesradar.com/images/totalfilm/o/oveur.jpg

I love you canon.

However, Maul managed to survive his defeat at the hands of Kenobi. Through his hate and will to live, as well as his hatred against Kenobi, he reached out with the Force and grabbed an air vent.[8]

http://img4.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20120518041057/starwars/images/5/57/DarthScorpionKing-SWE.png

The hilt can also be used for offense this way.

can't really see that happening tbh w/o having the opposite end of the hilt up to yr throat or something, or having your opponent in a weird position where the blade wouldn't hit them first anyway

this is the worst movie ever

I had this idea that ILX should "precover" Ep 7 by building an entire film around the trailer scenes

directed by lou reed