God bless the goddamn Onion

Haha OMG:

First Indian-American Governor Elected

With his swearing in as governor of Louisiana on Monday, Republican Bobby Jindal became the first Indian-American to head a U.S. state. What do you think?

Dave Piedmont,
Systems Analyst
"His parents must be so close to being proud."

Steven Seagal is...

http://www.theonion.com/content/opinion/act_now_to_take_advantage_of_my

story of my life

lol "Skeepers"

haha deja vu

me: http://www.theonion.com/content/opinion/act_now_to_take_advantage_of_my
Sent at 4:31 PM on Wednesday
Jordan: haha
lol "skeepers"

http://www.theonion.com/content/files/images/act_now_oped.jpg

: /

that's totally the lowered-standards look

... anonymous sex with me that I'll begin to regret it as it's happening?
oh double-edged zing

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/75350

Haha, i worked at the Skeepers in Ann Arbor from '98 - '00.

http://www.theonion.com/content/files/images/onionmagazine_archive_101a.jpg

"Microwave Quietly Encouraged"

the onion magazine + editorial cartoons are my fav shit now

Kelly is a genius.

http://www.theonion.com/content/opinion/you_know_whats_stupid

One of my fave pieces for a long time, great concept.

Bob can go fuck himself for those shoes/boots.

wow that link is one of the least funny Onion pieces I've read. Diff'rent strokes.

I think it's funny.

that craig kilborn bit they did a few months ago (which i conveniently cannot find a link to right now) was one of the best things they've ever done

wow that link is one of the least funny Onion pieces I've read. Diff'rent strokes.

-- wanko ergo sum, Saturday, 15 March 2008 17:25

Think it's because this character = almost everybody I work with.

They have trouble understanding complex, intellectual ideas like "Maybe not every problem with the UK today can be blamed on asylum seekers."

http://www.theonion.com/content/video/in_the_know_is_the_government

I think it's funny.

yeah, i like it too. I usually enjoy their "explicitly deconstructing thoughtless everyday habits" bits.

Haha this joke would appear to be entirely coincidental, and yet ...

COLUMN: Smoove B signs off -- "Girl, there comes a time when even a strong, well-dressed man must admit defeat."

AMERICAN VOICES TOPIC: "Farmers Planting Less Corn"

i'm dying here.

cherry coke all over my monitor

The Onion Movie is surprisingly terrible

surprisingly

""

Oh, I didn't know we don't like the Onion here anymore.

ILX = It's the British press for your iphone!

yeah wtf happened with the onion movie. The books were always great.

liking the onion and thinking that "onion: the movie" is a terrible idea are two completely different things. that's probably what Hurting 2 meant since he usually states the obvious, don't act dense and butthurt about it If Assholes Could Fly This Place Would Be An Airport.

If Assholes Were Butthurt This Place Would Be A Butt Hospice

If arseholes were Robbie Williams's last CD this place would be a road in China.

Onion movie = not actually made by The Onion, who disassociated themselves from it long ago..

Ah, I did not know that. Figures...

http://www.theonion.com/content/news/obamas_hillbilly_half_brother

lolz "chicken-killing school"

In the past two weeks, Obama has lost support from such groups as PETA, which withdrew its endorsement when Cooter punched a swan in the face, claiming it was "one of them mean ones"; the Clean Energy Group, which protested Cooter's recent attempt to fry a squirrel in a flaming 20-gallon barrel of diesel fuel; and Sen. John Kerry (D-MA), whom Cooter mistook for an outhouse Monday and urinated on for 35 seconds.

Man, the magazine is great sometimes.
http://www.theonion.com/content/magazine/another_small_town_with_fucked

http://www.theonion.com/content/files/images/onionmagazine_archive_144a.jpg

the current print copy full of archival stuff is hilar

http://www.theonion.com/content/files/images/DNC_archive.jpg

old I know, but it keeps cracking me up

This is my favorite this week.

Witnesses said they first detected a difference in McCain's demeanor yesterday, when he paused suddenly in the middle of a speech about Obama's tax policies, shook his head and demanded to know what year it was. Others were reportedly confused when McCain abruptly left the stage to find a mirror and softly touched his face while whispering to himself, "Oh, boy. Who am I this time?"

QL references get me every time.

Ever notice how if you read too much Onion at once, actual news starts to resemble it more and more?

QL references get me every time.

^^^this

http://www.theonion.com/content/video/obama_win_causes_obsessive?utm_source=embedded_video

lol, look at who's posting most to ilx about it

Blagojevich Just Getting Started

January 14, 2009 | Issue 45•03

SPRINGFIELD, IL—Hoo, boy, if you thought Illinois governor Rod Blagojevich had finished soliciting bribes from state officials, shamelessly defying federal investigators, and generally acting like a megalomaniacal lunatic, you'd better think again. The crazy bastard, sources confirmed Monday, is just getting warmed up. "I will not relinquish my position as governor, and I will continue to fight these outrageous allegations," Blagojevich said Tuesday, referring to the multiple counts of fraud and extortion being leveled against him, and hinting at a range of other insanely illegal activities you wouldn't believe if he told you. "I know the good people of the state of Illinois support my complete and total exoneration, and look forward to my possible 2016 presidential bid." As of press time, no one could believe the stones on this guy.

the onion is on fire lately...is anyone else noticing this? so fucking funny day in day out. I dream of working there one day.